Tagged: trump

LYIN’ TED CRUZ SAVES Texas From Icy HELLSTORM By Fleeing To CANCUN For VACATION!!! Suffering IGNORED, LIBS!!!

Image result for ted cruz airport
Lyin’ Ted went undercover at the airport! SICK LIBS would never suspect a MASKED man of being a REPUBLICAN PATRIOT!

PATRIOTS, the old saying goes, “Screw you! We’re from Texas!” Well, NUMBER ONE PATRIOT LYIN’ TED CRUZ might have just come up with a better saying: “Screw you, Texas! I’m going to Mexico!” With millions of residents in his state suffering under dangerous freezing conditions, blackouts, no heat, and lack of potable water, this LYIN’ of the Senate did what any TRUE TRUMPIAN HERO would have done! He got the f*** out of there!

Ted flew off to SAFETY in the country he HATES the most, Mexico! Cancun to be exact! And he left his LOSER and SUCKER constituents to take care of themselves, because, like one CONSERVATIVE MAYOR in Ted’s state RIGHTLY scolded the suffering recently, “If you were sitting at home in the cold because you have no power and are sitting there waiting for someone to come rescue you because your lazy is direct result of your raising!”

Smart and literate!

Luckily, the former president’s border wall to keep the drug dealers and “rapists” out of Texas didn’t stop Lyin’s jet from making it to safety on the other side of it. IN MEXICO!

I’M NOT COGNITIVELY DISSONANT! YOU ARE, LIB!

LIBERALS WERE ALL OVER THE STORY of Lyin’ Ted’s HEROIC flee, which was first reported by notable LIB RAG, Fox News!

But, PATRIOTS, just because this ACT OF VALOR by Lyin’ Ted makes him look like the most callous, insensitive jerk who ever served in Congress, which is really saying something, THE LIBS ARE STILL MISSING THE POINT! What was Lyin’ supposed to do?!?! Help?

Puh-lease, libs! Nobody’s helping. Except Beto O’Rourke, that Democratic LOSER who LOST his senate bid against Lyin’ Ted, yet still helps suffering people in his state, LIKE A SUCKER! LIB! SHAME! LIB!

Hey, BEEE-TO, nobody needs help here! We’re just fine! In fact, we’re just fine without power or potable water! At least, that’s what Former Governor Rick Perry says, and he KNOWS ALMOST NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING, so he probably KNOWS A LOT about the opinions of his suffering and freezing former constituents.

“Texans would be without electricity for longer than three days to keep the federal government out of their business… Try not to let whatever the crisis of the day is take your eye off of having a resilient grid…”

Former Texas Governor Rick Perry

Which Texas doesn’t have because… communism, I guess?

Things are going SO GOOD in Cruz’s home state of TEXAS that people aren’t even worried about not having electricity anymore (because they don’t have water now, either).

Scores of Texans were under notice to boil tap water before drinking it after days of record low temperatures damaged infrastructure, caused blackouts and froze water pipes.

FAKE NEWS NBC (NOTHING BUT CRAP) News

LIBS just don’t get it. While they’re suffering UNDER SOCIALIST, LIB-O-CRATIC leadership in their big city, ivory towers with their… heat… and drinking water, they don’t understand the JOYS OF REAL FREEDOM. Freedom to SUFFER AND DIE FOR REPUBLICAN CONTROL OF OUR COUNTRY WITHOUT BIG, LIB GUBMINT TELLING ME TO LIVE!

Absolutely NOBODY in Texas needs any HELP from Lyin’ Ted Cruz, anyway. Except the kids in hospitals with no flushing toilets, AKA Scum-o-crats.

[A]t least two hospitals in the Austin metro area were being evacuated on Wednesday night due to a lack of hot water and heat. Matt Largey, an editor at Austin’s NPR station KUT, tweeted out a statement from St. David’s South Austin Medical Center on Wednesday that confirmed that the hospital was in the process of evacuating some of its “just under 300 patients” from the facility after it “lost water pressure today from the City of Austin.” … Minutes later, Largey reported that Dell Children’s Medical Center, a pediatric hospital located in Austin, was also without power. In an accompanying statement from the hospital sent from a source, officials confirmed that “extreme weather conditions” had resulted in the facility experiencing “interruptions in service,” and noted that the toilets there did not currently have “flushing capabilities.”

Gizmodo

Flushing toilets at children’s hospitals are overrated anyway. You gotta teach those kids about FREE MARKET ECONOMICS early, or else they’ll never understand later why they’re being forced to freeze to death without drinking water so their Senators can take a vacation in Mexico–I mean, so capitalism.

The answer to that question, of course, is GUNS. Don’t get it? That’s because you’re a socialist! SOCIALIST!

NOTED CONSERVATIVE CRIMINAL Dinesh D’Souza gets it. WHAT IS LYIN’ TED SUPPOSED TO DO? Flying to Mexico and abandoning his state is actually the MOST HELPFUL thing Lyin’ Ted can do! That’s effective leadership!

Ted Cruz REALLY IS THE BEST! He’s helping more than anyone else, by NOT HELPING AT ALL! It’s called pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps, Texas. Sure, you don’t have drinking water, or heat, or for some, life, but think of all the things you still DO HAVE! Like, GUNS! And…

I can’t think of anything else, but, the important thing is that you remember, you’re suffering so that you can be free! Or, so the owner of the Dallas Cowboys can make money, I guess. SAME THING!

Comstock Resources chief financial officer Roland Burns acknowledged that the company had “hit the jackpot” as it sold gas from its Haynesville Shale wells in East Texas on the spot market for a price between $15 and $179 per cubic feet… “This week is like hitting the jackpot with some of these incredible prices,” Burns said during an earnings call on Wednesday… [Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry] Jones… controls a 73 percent share in Comstock, according to the company’s 2020 proxy statement.

Newsweek

Hey, it might seem bad, Texas, but just remember… guns. No big government LIBS will be able to pry them from your FROZEN hands now!

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DISGRACE!!! NBA’s Cuban BANS playing of OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM before GAMES!!!! EVIL!!!

Image result for mark cuban evil
“Hi, I’m Mark Cuban, owner of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks, and I HATE AMERICA AND FREEDOM!” – Mark Cuban, probably

PATRIOTS, there’s nothing I love more than the RESPECTFUL PLAYING of OUR AMERICAN NATIONAL ANTHEM! I bleed RED, WHITE AND BLUE, and I SING PROUDLY every time I hear it played before a GAME OF SPORT (when I feel like it, which is rarely), or at least, I mock conduct an imaginary orchestra in the most sarcastic way possible, LIKE OUR GREATEST AMERICA-HATING PRESIDENT!

But PATRIOTS, I am sad to report there will be NO MORE playing of OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM, because, starting today, AMERICA IS NOW OFFICIALLY DEAD! The communists killed it!

And, by communists, I mean the America-hating bastard who runs one of the franchises of the NATIONAL BASKETBALL (& SOCIALISM) ASSOCIATION, Mark Cuban, owner of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks! Mark Cuban is a well known LEFTIST SCUM, who has criticized Former President Donald Trump, which automatically makes him one of the most EVIL threats to freedom that the human race has ever seen. Now, MARX CUBAN (is he American or Cuban? Pick a side DEVIL-MAN!) has directed his team to stop playing the national anthem before home games.

Cuban … made the decision after consulting with NBA commissioner Adam Silver. The Mavericks did not announce the change in policy, but the national anthem has not been played before any of their 13 preseason and regular-season games at the American Airlines Center this season.

ESPN (Extremely Socialist Pelosi Network)

And because the WEAK-KNEED NBA has refused to FORCE it’s teams to RESPECT OUR GODDAMN COUNTRY IN THE WAY I SEE FIT, now it appears every team can just do whatever the hell they want! They can stop playing the anthem, just because it has nothing to do with sports. Hell, they can even start calling for social justice and racial equality! What is this, COMMUNIST CHINA?!?!?!?

Unlike Former President Trump, who criticized the “son-of-a-bitch” athletes who kneeled during the anthem, CUBAN has been DISMANTLING OUR FREEDOM one step at a time, with his encouragement of EVIL, SOCIALIST KNEELING during the anthem. He said last year that, “When our players in the NBA do what’s in their heart, when they do what they feel represents who they are and look to move this country forward when it comes to race relationships, I think that’s a beautiful thing and I’ll be proud of them.”

Okay CUBAN, go back to CUBA! What’s that? He was born in Pittsburgh, PA? Well, I don’t give a Schumer! He sounds like a foreigner to me! That’s strike one! And banning OUR ANTHEM is STRIKE THREE! Let me put this in a basketball analogy for you, CUBAN! Three strikes and you’re out!

This AMERICA-HATER is so caught up in racial equality that he’s forgetting what this country was founded on: blind allegiance to government!

Instead, Cuban says, “The National Anthem Police in this country are out of control. If you want to complain, complain to your boss and ask why they don’t play the National Anthem every day before you start work.”

I agree! Why isn’t my boss playing the National Anthem every morning at work, with the VOLUME ALL THE WAY UP SO WE GET THE FREEDOM BORED INTO OUR SKULLS?!?!?! I say every workplace in America needs to start playing the National Anthem every day!

CONSERVATIVE VALUES ARE UNDER ATTACK with this decision!

Why isn’t Fox News playing the anthem every day, all day? Do they hate FREEDOM? Are they liberals? I say we STORM Fox News unless they start PLAYING THE ANTHEM at the beginning of every workday! Actually, it should just play on loop. Otherwise, FOX is America’s new enemy number one! Otherwise, the TERRORISTS WIN!

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Have You Noticed The My Pillow MAN Is Starting To Sound A TINY Bit TOTALLY INSANE!!!! Weird, right?

“My documentary is called “Absolute Proof.” Proof that I’m A RAVING LUNATIC!!!!” – My Pillow Man Mike Lindell

PATRIOTS, as a PROUD REPUBLICAN and CONSERVATIVE, there’s nothing I’m more committed to than supporting ABSOLUTE, STARK RAVING MAD LUNATICS. You know who I’m talking about, people like Donald Trump, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Jeanine Pirro, and Ol’ Head-leaker, himself, Rudy Giuliani. Until today, I also considered My Pillow founder Mike Lindell part of that ILLUSTRIOUS LIST OF LUNATICS! But, PATRIOTS, I gotta admit, Lindell, is starting to seem a little TOO CRAZY even for me, a committed TRUMP ALLY and STRONG OPPONENT OF REALITY.

I stood by Lindell when he falsely claimed a poisonous plant could magically CURE Covid. I backed him when he tried to convince the president to IMPOSE MARTIAL LAW and seize the U.S. government from the lyin’ LIBERALS who won the election fair and square. Hell, I even supported Lindell when he kept trying to make us all buy his SHITTY PILLOWS! But, in the last few days, it’s starting to seem like Mike Lindell is gone into coo-coo crazy town on the batshit express!

A few days ago, he had to be THROWN OFF THE AIR while on NEWSMAX–NEWSMAX! The same NEWSMAX that allowed a Trump campaign lawyer to claim on its airwaves, unchallenged, that a former Trump official should be executed! Executed! Yes, Mike Lindell was THROWN OFF that NEWSMAX for being TOO CRAZY! Think about that for a second!

Lindell went on NEWSMAX to explain why he was being cancelled by TWITTER, after Twitter suspended his account for posting unhinged and provably false claims about the 2020 election being stolen from TRUMP. This INJUSTICE, as NEWSMAX and ALL CONSERVATIVES rightly understood, was the result of the LEFT’S EVIL AND OVERZEALOUS CANEL CULTURE!!! But, wouldn’t you know it, when Lindell went on NEWSMAX to spout the EXACT SAME CLAIMS that got him “CANCELLED FROM TWITTER,” the people on Conservative NEWSMAX said, “Shit, you know what? This guy is crazy! Like certifiably nuts! We gotta get him off our air before we get sued! We gotta CANCEL HIM!!!”

NEWSMAX anchor Bob Sellers literally walked the off set of his own show while Mike Lindell was talking! Think about how crazy the shit you are saying has to be in order to make a NEWSMAX anchor walk off the set of his own, in-progress show, because he’s SO AFRAID of being associated with the demented insanity that you are spewing! Imagine that! That’s where Mike Lindell is right now on the CRAZY SCALE!!! TOO CRAZY to speak on Newsmax!

He said, “Bye-bye pillow!”

But, that wasn’t the CRAZIEST THING Mike Lindell did this week. NOT BY A LONG SHOT!

On Friday morning, Lindell appeared in a three-hour “documentary” that he made, which aired on the OTHER wildly, irresponsible, Trump-supporting channel, One America News Network! The OANN special, which OANN DID NOT create and REFUSED to be associated with, (besides, I guess allowing Lindell to buy out time on its airwaves to show it) purported to expose the “Absolute Proof” that Donald Trump actually won the 2020 election. “Absolute Proof” was even the name of Lindell’s special, which you won’t be surprised to read, contained no proof, and not even conjecture, but was merely three hours of Mike Lindell ranting and raving in his pillow-hocking voice about things that are both PROVABLY FALSE and TOTALLY INSANE. The only thing this special was “Absolute Proof” of, was that Mike Lindell’s CRAZY could power a small city!

Like all ABSOLUTE PROOFS of Donald Trump’s victory, it starts with a 1:31 long DISCLAIMER about how the claims about to be made by “Michael James Lindell” are SO CRAZY, that even ONE AMERICA NEWS NETWORK, the blindly-Trump-supporting channel that EMPLOYS AN ACTUAL KREMLIN PROPAGANDIST, DISAVOWS ALL OF THESE WILD CLAIMS, and that “the… claims expressed in this program… are not intended to be taken or interpreted by the viewer as established facts.” READ THAT AGAIN SO YOU UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT IT’S SAYING, because that’s a pretty bold claim for a channel that calls itself a “News Network.”

OANN makes clear that it’s airing this special purely for profit, but knows it’s total bullshit, and would really like to not be named in any of the billions of dollars of lawsuits that are being filed against conservative media by the voting companies that they’ve been lying about.

So it’s, you know, NEWS!

Lindell He

And LINDELL’S claims that followed that AMAZING DISCLAIMER certainly lived up to their billing.

“The first miracle was on election night, and on election night at 11:15 at night, the algorithms on these machines broke, basically broke, and this’ll be explained during this show, but they broke. What that means is Donald Trump got so many more millions of votes that they didn’t expect that they’re going to have to go recalibrate, right?”

Algorithm EXPERT and My Pillow Man

Right?

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiggghhhtttt. Okay, but what is your Absolute Proof?

Nothing? Okay, got it.

“The big thing was the theft by these other countries that came in to attack our country through these machines that are made to steal elections. Every election going forward in history if these things would have happened, these two, and we would have never known, every single vote you would have ever made wouldn’t have mattered. Somebody else would have made that vote. And we’ve all seen in this past month, you think it wasn’t communists coming in and taking us over? With people here. This is an attack not only on those other countries with communism, but they had domestic traitors right here in our country. Whatever’s going on right now, we’re seeing it. They’re suppressing. Cancel culture. They’re trying to cancel us all out. I have seen churches, the Christian churches, they’re being attacked right now. People on social media, anyone that speaks up, they’re going, ‘You can’t say that.’ It’s like, you’re gone. Right now they’re doing whack-a-mole because they knew they were so close, so close that we would never know in history what happened.”

An ELECTIONS EXPERT Who Makes Cheap Pillows

Okay, so as a person who hates America as much as I love TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP, I want this to be true. But, I’m afraid it sounds more like a guy who makes pillows is high on cocaine and trying to convince me of something that makes no sense. What’s that? That’s EXACTLY what this is? Oh.

Would you like to see more of this NON-FACTUAL “proof”? No?

What’s that, your head hurts? Oh, well, here’s some more claims by MIKE LINDELL.

You know that when the DRUNK WOMAN who was nationally mocked for her INSANE, RIDICULOUS, NONSENSICAL RAMBLING about how tRuMp ReAlLy WoN shows up as part of your “Absolute Proof” that things are going really well, and by “really well” I mean about as good as a night’s sleep on a MyPillow!

PATRIOTS, we’ve suffered a lot of insane, unhinged, destructive conspiracy theories over the past four years. We’ve bent over backward to excuse and apologize for the CONSPIRACY THEORIST IN CHIEF, and we’ve all come out worse for it. What say we STOP with this INSANE UTTER NONSENSE, and stop letting the My Pillow man book airtime on TV to brainwash TRUMP-SUPPORTING IDIOTS? I think I speak for everyone when I say, get some rest, My Pillow man. Get some rest. You’ve harmed your country proud, and you’re TOO CRAZY, even for US CRAZIES!

I’m afraid, at this point, I might even have to buy LIBERAL PILLOWS if it will make you shut the hell up! And now, there’s a new option in probably-shitty pillows headed to market:

Parkland school shooting survivor and gun control advocate David Hogg plans to launch his own pillow company with the goal of competing against embattled bedding company MyPillow. The idea was posed to Hogg, 20, in a tweet from entrepreneur William LeGate on Thursday that questioned whether the duo should start a pillow company to “put MyPillow out of business.”

NBC (Nothin’ But Crap) NEWS

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Former TRUMP GOON Kudlow Won’t Say Whether Biden ‘Alert Or Not Alert,’ Can’t See ANYTHING From Inside TRUMP’S BUTTHOLE!!!

America's worst financial advisor
“Is it hot in here, or am I finally in hell?” – Larry Kudlow

PATRIOTS, Larry Kudlow has been the dumbest guy in the room for a long time, and you have to admire him for being SO GOOD AT IT. For example, in 2005, he said people predicting a real estate crash were “dead wrong,” and just because HE turned out to be dead wrong, that didn’t stop him from predicting in 2007 that “there is no recession,” right before something called the GREAT Recession, and just because he turned out to be wrong about that, too, that didn’t stop him from making a whole bunch of other wrong predictions for a decade, until he FAILED ALL THE WAY up to being Biden’s PREDECESSOR’S TOP ECONOMIC ADVISER, where, in February 2020, right before COVID crashed the stock market, he told Americans it would be a good time to buy stocks. All of this must have been rather hard, considering that although he served as the PREDECESSOR’S economic adviser, he was not, in reality, an ECONOMIST. And so, it should come as no surprise PATRIOTS, that LARRY KUDLOW continues to be invited on FOX NEWS and FOX BUSINESS to say very WRONG AND DUMB THINGS, WRONG AND DUMB THINGS TO REPUBLICANS ABOUT DEMOCRATS, LIKE ALL GOOD AMERICANS DO! What I’m trying to say here is, HE’S A REAL AMERICAN PATRIOT!

Now, KUDLOW’S dropped another KNOWLEDGE TURD, that STINKS to high heavens, this time about BIDEN! SLEEPY, HIDIN’ BIDEN! ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE who’s trying to pass the economic aid for the American people that TRUMP PROMISED BUT NEVER DELIVERED! FAKE economist Larry Kudlow said on Maria Bartiromo’s FAKE business TV show on the FAKE news channel Fox Business Network, that he didn’t know “Whether [Biden’s] an empty vessel for the far left wing of his party,” and when asked whether Biden understood what he was signing with executive orders he’d signed, he replied, “That’s a good question,” (it was not) before he refused to say whether Biden is “alert or not alert.”

And just because Larry Kudlow was clearly lying, like he has lied and been wrong for his entire career, and just because there’s no evidence that Biden is “not alert,” that doesn’t mean we, AS PATRIOTS AND CONSERVATIVES, can’t pretend KUDLOW WAS TELLING THE TRUTH! Biden is DERANGED! He’s ILL and WEAK. How do I know? Because I don’t rely on LAZY, LIBERAL FACTS to reach my conclusions! I find TRUTH that I WANT TO BE TRUE, and I find my TRUTH in the same place FOX BUSINESS NETWORK AND MARIA BARTIROMO AND LARRY KUDLOW do, right up TRUMP’S BUTTHOLE! MMM, smells like McDonald’s up here! Why would we ever leave?!?!?!

Kudlow also said during this “interview” that President Biden, “may be, really, given his first couple weeks, the most left wing president we’ve ever seen.” He said, the Democratic Party “has moved a hundred yards to the left” and “way to the left of Barack Obama.” Again, it was a PERFECTLY GOOD CONCLUSION, as long as you don’t worry about any LEFTIST FACTS! Biden is the most radical, left-wing nut job ever to hold office, and I know this because I WANT IT TO BE TRUE!

What’s Biden doing right now, you ask? He’s working on sending out those checks TRUMP wanted to send? EVIL! COMMUNIST! SOCIALIST!

The libs GOT TRIGGERED by this TRUTH!

NEWSFLASH: PEOPLE LIKE LARRY KUDLOW LOVE AMERICA! AND BY LOVE, I MEAN HATE! They’re what we call PATRIOTS, okay?

If the government isn’t doing something for them, namely letting them pretend they’re qualified to have a job in it, then IT’S RADICAL, LEFTIST, COMMUNIST, and any of the other BAD “ISTS” you can think of! They stand for exactly one thing! THEMSELVES! “If TRUMP’S BUTTHOLE CAN GET BACK INTO THE WHITE HOUSE,” they think, “I CAN TOO! ‘CAUSE MY HEAD’S STILL IN IT!”

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Cops Pepper Spray DANGEROUS 9-year-old GIRL For ‘Acting Like A Child’

The police department in Rochester, N.Y., released body-camera footage that showed a 9-year-old girl being handcuffed and pepper-sprayed by officers who responded to a family disturbance.

PATRIOTS, around here, we BACK THE BLUE always and forever, 110,000%, unless we’re trying to storm the Capitol Building and they won’t join our coup! So, that’s why I’M BACKING the HERO officers of the Rochester, New York police who STARED DOWN A DANGEROUS THREAT TO FREEDOM and came out VICTORIOUS! They HANDCUFFED and PEPPER SPRAYED this MENACE! This meanace? A 9-year-old girl! And PATRIOTS, we all know, there’s nothing more dangerous than an UNRESTRAINED CHILD!

The incident happened when officers responded to a family disturbance call. THE FAKE NEW YORK TIMES has the TRUE DETAILS.

During the incident, which occurred Friday afternoon, officers restrained the girl, pushing her into the snow in order to handcuff her, while she screamed repeatedly for her father, the footage showed.

At one point, an officer said, “You’re acting like a child.” She responded, “I am a child.”

When she refused to sit inside a police car, an officer pepper-sprayed her.

FAKE NEWS NEW YORK TIMES

Here’s the video. Judge for yourself (unless you’re going to judge that this PEPPER SPRAYING was excessive, in which case keep your opinions to yourself and DON’T CANCEL MINE!).

PATRIOTS, we CONSERVATIVES can’t spend everyday whining about how a small percentage of our TERRORIST FRIENDS who stormed the capitol are being unjustly arrested by the police for committing crimes and then posting about it on social media. NOT WHILE DANGEROUS 9-YEAR-OLDS are terrorizing our streets and the POLICE are helpless to stop them. PEPPER SPRAY? Where were this police department’s HUMVEES, Armored Personnel Carriers and bazookas? These officers could have been seriously injured!!!

But while this 9-YEAR-OLD was clearly committing the CRIME of “acting like a child,” there are some LEFTISTS who are opposed to this violence against children! I CALL THEM COMMIES! ANTIFA! ANTIFA!

Luckily, the Rochester police union chief pushed back against this FAKE NEWS MEDIA NARRATIVE!

“”Had they had to go and push further, and use more force, there’s a good chance she could have been hurt worse. It’s very, very difficult to get somebody into the back of a police car like that. And she’s 9 years old. Imagine what happens when we have a full grown individual.”

Mike Mazzeo, president of the Rochester Police Locust Club

Yes, had the POLICE not pepper sprayed this defenseless 9-year-old, they MIGHT HAVE HAD TO HURT HER WORSE! They might have had to shoot her! If anything, these officers are HEROES! What they did practically SAVED HER LIFE!

And it’s not the first life saved by the Rochester police.

The incident has brought renewed scrutiny to the Rochester Police Department, months after the city was roiled by the disclosure that Daniel Prude, a Black man, suffocated to death last year after Rochester police officers had placed him in a hood.

The handling of Mr. Prude’s death prompted the city’s mayor to abruptly fire the police chief in September, and the department faced accusations of a cover-up after it was revealed that officers had characterized Mr. Prude’s death as the result of a drug overdose.

In Mr. Prude’s case, the body-camera footage was released six months after his death, only after his family had sued the city. Officials at the time of the death sought repeatedly to hide the videos from the public to prevent damaging fallout, according to city documents released last year.

FAKE NEWS NEW YORK TIMES

Okay, not the best example, but it just goes to show, if the police didn’t pepper spray this child, they might have had to do WORSE! What do you want these cops to do, protect and serve? LOSER!

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All Of GOP’S Problems Might Be Result Of LEFT’S Secret JEWISH SPACE LASER, Says Maniac!!!

Rep. Jimmy Gomez drafts resolution to oust Marjorie Taylor Greene from  Congress - POLITICO

PATRIOTS, I’m no anti-semite, but I certainly think it’s fair game to ask whether ALL of the problems currently troubling our GREAT COUNTRY and our GREAT REPUBLICAN PARTY can be blamed on a SECRET JEWISH SPACE LASER. It’s not SO CRAZY if you DON’T think about it! This question isn’t just being asked by WINGNUTS like myself, but FULL-FLEDGED lawmakers in the Republican Party, like Marjorie Taylor Greene, easily the most PATRIOTIC AMERICAN PATRIOT since Dennis Rodman!

Representative Trailer Queen–I mean Taylor Greene–has SET A NEW BAR for WILDLY OFFENSIVE CONSPIRACY THEORIES since getting elected to the People’s House on a PERFECTLY SANE GOP platform of QAnon conspiracy fearmongering, like stopping Democrats from allegedly harvesting the organs of children in Satanic rituals, something that was obviously TOTALLY REAL and near-and-dear to the hearts of her PERFECTLY SANE constituents in Georgia (what the HELL is up with that state electing two Democrats to the Senate and Greene to the House?!?!). But that’s just the tip of the iceberg for this WOMAN OF GOD AND AMERICA! Greene believes ALL SCHOOL SHOOTINGS are staged hoaxes, 9/11 was an inside job by the U.S. government, Muslims shouldn’t be allowed to serve in government, and Democrats should be executed. ALL THINGS THAT MAKE TOTAL SENSE IF YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THEM, AND YOU ARE ALSO TOTALLY INSANE. (Which is why Trump supporters loved her!) BUT PATRIOTS, ALL OF THAT WAS JUST THE WARMUP ACT!

For JEWISH SPACE LASER!

PATRIOTS, there is no comedic set up that can make this report by New York Magazine any funnier, or more terrifying, than it already is:

The most recent Greene view to be unearthed comes via Eric Hananoki. Just over two years ago, Greene suggested in a Facebook post that wildfires in California were not natural. Forests don’t just catch fire, you know. Rather, the blazes had been started by PG&E, in conjunction with the Rothschilds, using a space laser, in order to clear room for a high-speed rail project. Here is Greene’s entire post, via Media Matters:

Did you get all that? No? Neither did I. Really, it’s one of the most PATRIOTICALLY INSANE things ever written by a member of Congress. In fact, while we can debate the legal grounds for expulsion from the House of Representatives, which many Dems have called for, there can really be NO DEBATE that these views rise to the level of making Marjorie Taylor Greene an EXTREME DANGER to the AMERICAN PEOPLE! She certainly, has no BUSINESS BEING IN CONGRESS! She needs to be in a MENTAL HOSPITAL!

WHICH IS WHY I SUPPORT HER!

You see, as a TRUMP SUPPORTER, like GameStop stock, my entire connection with facts & reality has been COMPLETELY severed. I no longer live on this plane of existence. I am purely what I and others imagine myself to be! In the FANTASY WORLD I inhabit, again, as an avowed TRUMP SUPPORTER, all of the PROVABLY FALSE things Marjorie Taylor Greene has said are true! TRUE, BECAUSE THEY ARE FALSE, you see! It doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to keep reinforcing the INFINITE FEEDBACK loop of the Republican Party, like buying a stock makes a stock a good buy! CAPITALISM! If everything Trump and the GOP do is good, then everything bad is good; and, if everything bad is good, everything false must also be true! Then, in this ALTERNATE REALITY OF TRUMP AND GOP ALTERNATIVE FACTS, Marjorie Taylor Greene is not the greatest threat to America, she is our greatest asset. We are no longer bound by the constraints of TRUTH in OUR PARTY, and in OUR COUNTRY, sir! WE ARE THE JEWISH SPACE LASER OF POLITICAL PARTIES! RACIST, ANTI-SEMITIC, ONLY MAKING SENSE INSIDE OUR OWN MINDS, AND THE GREATEST THREAT TO THE PLANET EARTH IN EXISTENCE! WE ARE PATRIOTS!

And, Republican House Leader Kevin McCarthy feels the same way. He’s not listening to those stupid Democrats who think Marjorie Taylor Greene is a threat, just because she is threatening our country and her fellow members of Congress. McCarthy knows that Marjorie Taylor Greene IS THE GOP! AND, WE COULD LEARN A THING OR TWO FROM HER INSANITY. That’s why the GOP PUT HER ON THE EDUCATION COMMITTEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME? THIS CAN’T BE REAL LIFE! IS IT? ARE YOU SURE? DID I GET HIT IN THE HEAD!?!?!?! THE EDUCATION COMMITTEE?!?!?!)

CRAZY NANCY had a typically crazy response to this TOTALLY SANE MOVE by the GOP to put the school shooting truther on the education committee!

“Assigning her to the Education Committee when she has mocked the killing of little children at Sandy Hook Elementary School, when she has mocked the killing of teenagers in high school at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school — what could they be thinking? Or is thinking too generous a word for what they might be doing?”

‘CRAZY’ Nancy Pelosi

Very generous, Nancy!

And, THE GOP totally knew Marjorie Taylor Greene was TOTALLY CRAZY a long time ago, but Kevin McCarthy, “did little to stop her,” Axios reports. According to Greene’s LOSER primary opponent John Cowan, LOSER, “Everybody was well aware of her previous persona and who she is. I would say they all knew she was going to be a problem… Maybe they just assumed that the awe of winning an election would calm her down a little bit, and so she would actually be interested in governing and be interested in policy, and she’s just clearly not. She is literally there for a stage production.”

HEY JOHN, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, CRAZY TALKS AND SANITY WALKS IN THE GOP! SO WHY ARE YOU IN IT?

But CoMpLeTe SaNiTy talks, too. Because Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy has a solution to Marjorie Taylor Greene’s “deeply disturbing” and PATRIOTIC belief that everything she can see with her eyes is FAKE, Democrats need to be SHOT, and JEWISH SPACE LASERS are real.

“These comments are deeply disturbing and Leader McCarthy plans to have a conversation with the Congresswoman about them,” spokesman Mark Bednar told CNN.

CNN (Clinton News Network)

CONVERSATION! Right. I’m sure that’ll fix everything, because everyone knows when you run into a CRAZY TRUMP SUPPORTER, a good, fact based conversation usually changes their mind.

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I Don’t Understand The Stock Market!!! And I Feel Angry About It!

GameStop Stock Price All Time High | HYPEBEAST
I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS IS! IS THIS MADE OF STOCK? WHAT’S STOCK? I’M CONFUSED!

NOTE: This column is not intended as investment advice. In fact, anyone who interprets this column as advice of any kind, or think’s it’s remotely smart or funny, is, well, a moron.

PATRIOTS, as a proudly irrational person, nothing gets me more excited than getting excited about things I don’t understand. That’s why, when I heard that a bunch of people on Reddit had somehow pushed the stock price of worthless company GameStop up over 300% simply by all buying the worthless stock, and in the process made many of themselves into millionaires overnight, I said, “What? I literally don’t understand any of that!”

Well, PATRIOTS, let me explain. You see, I don’t know. I don’t know anything about any of this. What I do know is that big, fat Wall Street hedge funds who have become far too accustomed to screwing over the American middle class for years are losing big! Like, BILLIONS and BILLIONS of dollars big, because of the actions of these Redditers on the message board r/wallstreetbets. That’s because the hedge funds shorted the stock of the flailing video game retailer, GameStop, meaning they BET IRRESPONSIBLY HUGE amounts of money that the stock would become basically worthless. BUT SURPRISE! Instead, everyone on r/wallstreetbets seems to have banded together to buy huge amounts of the stock, thereby driving the price up MASSIVELY, and screwing the hedge fund guys! The price of GameStop stock went up from $18 per share to over $300 per share! So the greedy hedge funds are now on the hook for somewhere around $2.75 billion dollars! Maybe even over $5 billion! Yikes! That’s a bigger loss than a Trump Casino!!!!

And the big gains by these Robinhood’s investing on the Robin Hood app has attracted a whole bunch of copycats to similarly worthless stocks that the Average Joe RedditPack thinks the hedge funds may have gotten way over their skis in betting billions against. Now, those Redditors have a couple billion dollars in capital to spend taking down their next target! Which shitty worthless stock will they turn against the Wall Street Fat Cats next? I don’t know!

IN FACT, I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON!!!!

This is SOO CONFUSING! MARGINS! What are those? Like the sides on a piece of paper? OPTIONS! Those are the things I can change on video games, right? SHORTS! I wear those when it’s hot out, right? NO! APPARENTLY, THOSE ARE ALL STOCK MARKET WORDS!

Here’s a word: F************** THIS IS CONFUSING!

But, there’s money to be made, and it looks easy, so as of today, I’m pouring all my money into this wild, casino system that’s always been rigged against me and that I don’t understand. CAPITALISM! (NOTE: I’m not doing this.)

But, PATRIOTS, we can’t get caught up in punishing the greedy just because they’re evil. We must spare a thought for the many, many, many, unscrupulous corporate raiders who lost their fourth yacht as a result of this HORRIBLE ATTACK on WALL STREET!

CNBC must defend these people! This MANIPULATION OF THE MANIPULATIVE MUST BE PUNISHED BY THE GOVERNMENT THAT DIDN’T PUNISH ANY OF THE MANIPULATORS BEFORE! REGULAR PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BE MANIPULATING! THAT’S MEAN!

But the new corporate raiders on Reddit aren’t having it! As evidenced by one Reddit poster’s “open letter to CNBC” which criticized the network for it’s “contempt for the retail investor” and for allowing giant, evil hedge funds to “manipulate the market via your network and if they screw up big … they just get a bailout.”

Yes, that’s what’s called CAPITALISM! Now you get it! The little guy never wins!!!

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Orwellian! My Pillow Man Banned From Twitter For Refusal To Stop Lying And Inciting Civil Unrest!

Customers: Pro-Trump Pillows Are a Nightmare
Night, night!

PATRIOTS, no PATRIOT has fought harder against the EVILS of FREEDOM than Mike Lindell, CEO of My Pillow, “The World’s Shittiest Pillow,”TM and recent proponent of MARTIAL LAW to overthrow the U.S. Government. If that’s not American, than call me a terrorist! That’s why it’s SO INCREDIBLY ORWELLIAN that Twitter has decided to PERMANENTLY BAN the My Pillow man from its platform. What did he do? Apparently, he “alleged that the voting machine companies Smartmatic and Dominion Voting Systems were part of a conspiracy to rig the election against Trump,” according to reports. Big deal! It’s not like that PROVEN, REPEATED LIE ever killed anybody! What’s that? It killed five people? Big deal! They were probably LEFTISTS, anyway!

It’s NOT FAIR that private companies are banning bad faith actors who continually push lies for profit while attacking the fragile peace that sustains our politically-divided society! It’s NOT FAIR because those people REALLY WANT TO PROFIT from the downfall of America! If Mike Lindell can’t profit from selling the PROVEN LIE that Donald Trump won the election, if not for an elaborate conspiracy involving the makers of voting machines, local election officials, state-level Republicans, and the long-dead leader of Venezuela, what is he going to PROFIT FROM? Selling shitty pillows? Selling poisonous plants as a miracle cure for COVID-19? Yes, he did that. And, no, it did not turn out to be a miracle cure, but it was slightly healthier than drinking bleach. MAGA!

These lies never hurt anybody! Did they? I don’t know. Probably. Probably a lot of people, actually. Hmm. But PATRIOTS, the PERSECUTION OF THE PILLOW MAN raises a larger question about American society, namely, do we really want to be the kind of country that allows private companies to silence CONSERVATIVE VOICES just because they refuse to stop intentionally spouting dangerous, destructive, murderous LIES? I think not! That’s ORWELLIAN, just like it was ORWELLIAN that pro-terrorist Republican Senator Josh Hawley briefly lost his book deal for two weeks because he incited terrorism. TERRORISM AND BOOK DEALS FOR EVERYONE! FINANCED BY THE GOVERNMENT! THAT’S WHAT I CALL FREE MARKET!

The FREE MARKET decides things in this country, and the FREE MARKET should decide that the My Pillow man’s LIES, the LIES I LIKE, must be spread to ALL by a private platform called Twitter, and if the FREE MARKET decides it doesn’t want to do that, THAN THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD MAKE IT DO THAT! That’s called Trumpism!

PATRIOTS, America is sick, and the only cure is to just let all the LUNATICS RUN THE ASYLUM! And WHITE OLEANDER EXTRACT! Why not let a former cocaine addict who now sells cheap pillows organize a domestic paramilitary operation AND PROVIDE GREAT HEALTHCARE SOLUTIONS? Why not also let this man tell us who really won presidential elections based on nothing more than the feelings in his gut? Why not let Representatives bring guns and ammunition to the house floor? As long as they really believe those guns are actually candy canes, who’s to tell them they aren’t? It’s called FIRST AMENDMENT! Why not let the people who lOvE tHe FrEe MaRkEt So MuCh force businesses like Twitter to make ONLY the decisions THEY SUPPORT, until ALL AMERICANS are forced to suffer the daily FEAR of incitement of domestic TERROR FOR TRUMP, and attacks on the Capitol following every election the PROVEN LIARS say was fraudulent?

Because that threatens the safety of every American? F*** it! I don’t care! I care about MY FREEDOM, not YOUR FREEDOM!

CANCEL THE CANCEL CULTURE! LET THE LIES FLOW!

Speaking of which, let’s all buy a My Pillow to support the latest VICTIM of his own stupidity. Buy TWO! Buy yours here!

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Dr. Deborah Birx, The HERO Who Kept Her FRIGGIN’ Mouth Shut!

Dr. Deborah Birx Says Someone Was Feeding Trump “Parallel” Coronavirus Data  – Mother Jones
Sometimes, the most patriotic thing you can do is keep your mouth shut!

PATRIOTS, for most of 2020, while Americans cowered in terror from the deadly coronavirus sweeping the nation and the former PRESIDENT appeared too PATRIOTICALLY ignorant, too unwilling, or too sadistic to do anything to slow it, Former White House Coronavirus Response Coordinator, Dr. Deborah Birx, stood by the former president’s side. She lent her credibility to the president who had none. She told us that, while the PRESIDENT SEEMED to have been trying to KILL US ALL by suggesting we drink disinfectant and not listen to “scientists” who told us to try wearing masks and avoiding getting sick with COVID, the PRESIDENT actually, really did know what he was talking about. That’s what Birx told us, that he was reading everything she gave him, that he knew what he was doing.

But now, Dr. Birx, like any true HERO of the TRUMP ERA, is revealing she knew WE WERE ALL SCREWED THE WHOLE TIME, but she never bothered to tell any of us, because, you know, personal gain. Unlike TERRORIST DR. FAUCI, Dr. Birx did her DUTY to the former PRESIDENT. She kept her FRIGGIN’ MOUTH SHUT.

And now, step 3. Try to PROFIT. Everybody wants to hear about how BATSHIT CRAZY TRUMP REALLY WAS, and the former PRESIDENT can’t fire her anymore, so she’s letting it rip like Rudy Giuliani’s butt, telling us all what a ridiculously irresponsible danger to America our GREAT PRESIDENT WAS!

Birx, the COORDINATOR of the WHOLE ENTIRE White House response, told CBS (COMMUNIST BROADCASTING STATION) that she almost never saw or spoke with the former PRESIDENT! She also told CBS that Biden’s PREDECESSOR was getting a “parallel set of data and graphics” that weren’t accurate and she didn’t know where they came from. 

“I saw the president presenting graphs that I never made. So I know that someone … was creating a parallel set of data and graphics that were shown to the president. I don’t know to this day who.”

Dr. Deborah Birx

In other words, I wasn’t responsible for all the Former PRESIDENT’S lies, Birx is telling us. I tried to stop the madman, but forces beyond my control stopped me. I’m the responsible one. I’m like Fauci, not like Dr. Birx, that loser!

And, PATRIOTS, I for one, totally believe Dr. Birx’s day-late-and-dollar-short non-apology apology tour, because if Birx wasn’t totally secretly RESISTING the former PRESIDENT’S patriotic efforts to endanger Americans’ lives, why did she spend so much time PRAISING HIS RESPONSE? IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!

Last year, Birx offered SLOBBERINGLY-PATRIOTIC praise of the former PRESIDENT. She called him “attentive to the scientific literature” in an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network. “He’s been so attentive to the scientific literature and the details and the data,” Birx said. “I think his ability to analyze and integrate data that comes out of his long history in business has really been a real benefit during these discussions about medical issues.” Yes, if that’s not the voice of a concerned adviser who can’t believe her boss is being convinced by fake graphics and data to risk hundreds of thousands of lives, THAN I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS!!!

And, the reporters who saw the former PRESIDENT’S PATH OF DENIAL at the time and wondered why Birx continued to support it, can attest that Birx was never interested in talking to them when they asked about the former PRESIDENT’S DERANGED BEHAVIOR. Maggie Haberman of the FAILING New York Times tweeted that, “when BIRX spoke publicly early on, she appeared in lockstep” with the former President.

Birx is just pulling a BOLTON, trying to sell her story in the form of a LUCRATIVE BOOK DEAL! And, as a TRUMPeter, I couldn’t be more supportive, since calling out the former President’s reckless endangerment of US ALL, long after he leaves office, causes him no harm.

Birx is a HERO, a HERO of the TRUMP-era, a HERO who kept her friggin’ mouth shut while the former PRESIDENT sought to kill everyone, and only once it was lucrative for her, did she speak up.

Her example is a contrast to TERRORIST DR. FAUCI, who opposed the former PRESIDENT while he was in office, and beyond, LIKE A SPINELESS, LEFTIST, SCIENCE-HUGGING COWARD! FAUXci told The New York Times over the weekend about the JOYS of trying to explain to the former President that every snake oil that his conmen friends pitched him over the phone wasn’t a miracle cure.

[I]t was clear that he was getting input from people who were calling him up, I don’t know who, people he knew from business, saying, “Hey, I heard about this drug, isn’t it great?” or, “Boy, this convalescent plasma is really phenomenal.” And I would try to, you know, calmly explain that you find out if something works by doing an appropriate clinical trial; you get the information, you give it a peer review. And he’d say, “Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this stuff really works.”

Dr. FAUXci to the FAKE New York Times

SICK LEFTIST! When the PRESIDENT speaks about the My Pillow man’s miracle cures, YOU KEEP YOUR SCIENCE-LOVING, FREEDOM-HATING MOUTH SHUT!

But FAUXci kept speaking!

“[H]e would say something that clearly was not correct, and then a reporter would say, “Well, let’s hear from Dr. Fauci.” I would have to get up and say, “No, I’m sorry, I do not think that is the case.” It isn’t like I took any pleasure in contradicting the president of the United States. I have a great deal of respect for the office. But I made a decision that I just had to. Otherwise I would be compromising my own integrity, and be giving a false message to the world. If I didn’t speak up, it would be almost tacit approval that what he was saying was OK.”

Dr. FAUXci to the FAKE New York Times

FAKE NEWS FAUCI could learn a thing from HERO DR. BIRX about “compromising” his “integrity” and giving “tacit approval” to the former PRESIDENT’S PATRIOTIC LIES! These are the TWO CORE VALUES of the TRUMP ERA! What happens in the Oval Office stays in the Oval Office. It’s between you, the president, Rudy Giuliani and the My Pillow man! And, DR. BIRX!

Snitches get stitches, FAUCI!

“[O]ne day I got a letter in the mail, I opened it up and a puff of powder came all over my face and my chest. That was very, very disturbing to me and my wife because it was in my office. So I just looked at it all over me and said, “What do I do?” The security detail was there, and they’re very experienced in that. They said, “Don’t move, stay in the room.” And they got the hazmat people. So they came, they sprayed me down and all that… It was a benign nothing. But it was frightening. My wife and my children were more disturbed than I was. I looked at it somewhat fatalistically. It had to be one of three things: A hoax. Or anthrax, which meant I’d have to go on Cipro for a month. Or if it was ricin, I was dead, so bye-bye.”

Dr. FAUXci to the FAKE New York Times

Except, it’s not bye-bye for Dr. F! He’s sticking around to join Biden’s team, because he TOLD THE EVIL TRUTH, while a PATRIOT like DR. BIRX finds herself struggling to break seven figures with her surely-impending book deal! CHILLING! CENSORSHIP! CANCEL CULTURE!

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