Tagged: democrats

RIGGED (But In A Good Way)!!! GOP Senators HEROICALLY Conspire With Defense Lawyers To Acquit Guilty TRUMP Of Obvious Crimes!

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These three smug looking mothers***ers know better than you! They know that GOP JUSTICE ISN’T BLIND!

PATRIOTS, there’s nothing I hate more than a RIGGED SYSTEM! That’s why I supported TRUMP supporters’ PATRIOTIC efforts to overthrow the government and end democracy. Because the system was rigged! The election was rigged against TRUMP! Democrats are trying to impeach TRUMP because they don’t understand that RIGGED THINGS ARE BAD! TRUMP IS GOOD! And that’s why I totally support the GOP’S effort to RIG the impeachment trial FOR TRUMP!

You see, RIGGING is BAD, unless you’re RIGGING FOR TRUMP! That’s just being fair!

So, let us RIG THIS F***ING SYSTEM LIKE IT’S NEVER BEEN RIGGED BEFORE! TO STOP THE STEAL!

TO STEAL THE STOPPING OF THE STEAL!

And 3 Republican Senators are doing their PATRIOTIC AMERICAN part to rig the case of TRUMP v. AMERICA in favor of Trump and against America. These three SENATE HEROES are going to serve as the jurors who will deliver a verdict in this impeachment case, and while many of them did not have precious time to listen to the EVIL, factual arguments made against TRUMP by the prosecution in this case, these IMPARTIAL, PATRIOTIC JURORS did have time for a 70 MINUTE LONG MEETING WITH THE TRUMP DEFENSE LAWYERS to discuss “‘sharing our thoughts’ about their legal strategy,” CNN reports.

Sens. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, Ted Cruz of Texas and Mike Lee of Utah were spotted going into a room in the US Capitol that Trump’s lawyers were using to prepare for their arguments. 

Trump lawyer David Schoen said that the senators were “very friendly guys” who just wanted to make sure they were “familiar with procedure” on the eve of their rebuttal to the House impeachment managers’ presentation.

When asked if it’s appropriate to meet with senators during the trial, Schoen said, “Oh yeah, I think that’s the practice of impeachment.”

“There’s nothing about this thing that has any semblance of due process whatsoever,” he added.

CNN (CLINTON (FAKE) NEWS NETWORK)

Yes, there’s “no semblance of due process whatsoever” in this trial, AND THAT’S JUST HOW REPUBLICANS LIKE IT, because that’s the only way that the president who incited a mob to try to kill the Vice President and Speaker of the House WILL GET AWAY WITH HIS CRIMES!

GOP, WE LOVE CRIMES! And, we also love a jury that will VOLUNTARILY TAMPER WITH ITSELF! Now that’s what I call integrity. These CONSERVATIVE HEROES have so much f***ing integrity that they willingly go on TV and tell the American people that the entire trial of TRUMP is a TOTAL SHAM because the Republican senators on the jury are also HELPING THE DEFENSE strategize on how to get away with its crimes. That’s even more astonishing, because the crime the defense is accused of is LITERALLY TRYING TO MURDER the jury! Dang!

That’s some next level BOOTLICKING!

I hope Trump rewards these ASS-KISSERS with another attempt to incite a riot against them! They deserve it!

And you know it was a PERFECTLY INNOCENT meeting between a guilty defendant’s legal team and the JURORS that they need to help them PATRIOTICALLY RIG the case, because just look how eager Senator Lindsey Graham is to share what was discussed in this perfectly SANE and RIGHT meeting that he participated in with the TRUMP LAWYERS!

Just LOOK AT THE SPEED at which he ran from those questions! EVERYTHING’S ON THE UP AND UP HERE! NOTHING TO SEE!

Now, of course, SOME STUPID LIBS were TRIGGERED by Republican Senators’ total refusal to protect their own branch of government from a violent, anti-democratic attack, but that’s just because LIBS, like all EVIL LEFTISTS are STUPID!

Sorry, LEFTISTS, but you’re STUPID. Does the jury agree?

Image result for ted cruz thumbs up

Case closed, LIBS!

But, just in case that doesn’t sway your little PEA BRAINS, here’s some straight shootin’ from ol’ TEXAS LYIN’ TED! He’s rustlin’ up some facts for FAKE NEWS CNN!

When asked if he’s now comfortable with the Trump team’s legal strategy, Cruz said, “I think the end result of this impeachment trial is crystal clear to everybody.”

“Donald Trump will be acquitted,” he added. “It takes 67 votes to convict him and every person in the Senate chamber understands that there are not the votes to convict, nor should there be.”

(FAKE FALSE STUPID LAME) CNN

“And if there’s one thing that could change anyone’s mind, it’s LITERALLY ANY OF THE EVIDENCE,” Lyin’ Ted (probably) added, “which is why I’m going to go in a room and shove my huge, potato-shaped head right up TRUMP’S ass for the next 70 minutes to make sure I don’t hear any of it.”

THANKS FOR DEFENDING THE CONSTITUTION, LYIN’ TED, LINDSEY GRAHAM, AND MIKE LEE! You three stand for nothing, just the way TRUMP likes it!

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GOP PATRIOT McCarthy LIES That He Doesn’t Know What QAnon Is, Defends QAnon BELIEVER Marjorie Taylor Greene, And Insists QAnon DOES NOT Represent HIS Values Or Beliefs; Also is FULL OF S***!!!!

US House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy.
“I don’t know anything about QAnon, the CRAZY conspiracy theory that’s destroying the PARTY I am in charge of,” says GOP Leader Kevin McCarthy.

PATRIOTS, there are a lot of things I won’t tolerate. Communism, Government regulation, Fast Food restaurants getting my order wrong. But at the top of that list is SPINELESS COWARDS! That’s why I was so RELIEVED to find out that House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy is a man of COURAGE AND PRINCIPLE, not like those STUPID LIBS! McCarthy says what he means, and you know when he speaks, it comes from the HEART. He’s a straight shooter.

That’s why, when confronted with the difficult decision over whether to punish a member of his own party who helped incite the Capitol Insurrection, called for the execution of Democrats, spread ridiculous anti-semitic claims, and promoted dangerous QAnon claims, McCarthy chose to PATRIOTICALLY LIE and say, “I don’t know what any of that is. Gosh, I’m just a simple COUNTRY BOY from California. I don’t know what nothin’ about runnin’ a political caucus. Q-what? I talked to that crazy lady, and boy howdy, she sure sounded nice to me, but I don’t much remember ’bout what she was on about, and I can’t even repeat it myself, but, it was some good ‘splainin’. You can take my word on that!”

I’m paraphrasing, of course.

“I think it would be helpful if you could hear exactly what she told all us, denouncing Q-on, I don’t know if I say it right, I don’t even know what it is– any from the shootings, she said she knew nothing about lasers, or all the different things that have been brought up about her.”

GOP Leader Kevin “SPINELESS PATRIOT” McCarthy

McCarthy will not punish Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), who has not publicly disavowed any of the WILD, DANGEROUS INCITEMENTS she has uttered. Why won’t McCarthy punish her? Because she said something to him in private, and he can’t seem to articulate what it was, but now, it’s all good. Trust him.

Is Taylor Greene going to publicly walk back her claims that Democrats should be executed with a bullet to the head, or that Jews built a space laser to start the California wildfires, or that all school shootings were FALSE FLAG OPERATIONS, with fake dead children, so that the government could take PATRTIOTS’ GUNS AWAY?

TBD.

The important thing is that we just move on from this REAL CRISIS OF GOVERNANCE, in order to focus on IMAGINARY DEMOCRATIC SCANDALS, like Hidin’ Joe Biden’s senility.

And never mind that even the MOST CYNICAL RIGHT WING LUNATIC has called Marjorie Taylor Greene a “cancer.” That don’t bother McCarthy what nothin’!

In fact, Kevin McCarthy, REPUBLICAN LEADER, is so sure he DOESN’T EVEN KNOW what QAnon, or “Q-on” as he calls it, is, he said SIX MONTHS AGO that he denounces QAnon!

Now, stupid LIBS will say that this PROVES that Kevin McCarthy is a FULL OF S***, SPINELESS COWARD who will burn our country to the ground before he admonishes the dangerous behavior of even the most LOWLY LUNATIC in his caucus. BUT THE LIBS ARE STUPID! They don’t get it! They only see the FACTS IN FRONT OF THEIR FACES AND NOT THE BIGGER TRUTH!

The TRUTH, sheeple, is that Kevin McCarthy did not FLIP FLOP. He didn’t lie to protect a violent, deranged gun nut 9/11 truther’s place on the House Education Committee! Clearly, the most obvious explanation is that Kevin McCarthy was replaced by a BODY DOUBLE, a Democratic Double Agent, manufactured in a lab run by George Soros! THAT BODY DOUBLE, Qevin McQarthy, learned all about QAnon, and denounced it, LIKE A SICK, TWISTED LEFTIST WHO LOVES AMERICA! But, then, surprise, the real Kevin McCarthy escaped from the SPACE PRISON where Barack Obama was holding him hostage, AFTER BEAMING HIM UP WITH GEORGE SOROS’ JEWISH SPACE LASER, and McCarthy beamed back down to Earth to tell everyone the truth: THAT HE HAS NO IDEA what Q-ON is, and HE TOTALLY SUPPORTS EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTS IT, despite not knowing what it is.

And also, as he said in a statement, “Past comments from and endorsed by Marjorie Taylor Greene on school shootings, political violence, and anti-Semitic conspiracy theories do not represent the values or beliefs of the House Republican Conference.” There you go!

THAT makes so much more sense than KEVIN MCCARTHY IS A SPINELESS COWARD!

Kevin McCarthy. Hero. Cry more, lib!

Unfortunately, Kevin McCarthy can’t save Marjorie Taylor Greene’s VALUABLE PLACE on the House Education Committee. It looks like SOROS and the JEWS win again! The Dems are likely to VOTE her off her committee assignments later today.

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GOD betrays TRUMP & the GOP! We’re all F***ed! Holy s***!

Slate on Twitter: "Trump Apocalypse Watch: All quiet on the Donald front.  https://t.co/pYZLbf5tI8… "
Oh my goodness are we f***ed now!

We lost f***ing GEORGIA!

Patriots, there has been a shift in the balance of power in these UNITED STATES! The SCUM-O-CRATS have come back from the DEAD! TRUMPISM and its requisite FASCISM were CRUSHED last night in Georgia, the new HEADQUARTERS OF THE LEFTIST THREAT! RADICAL BLACK PRO-FREEDOM LIBERAL Raphael Warnock defeated Anti-American PATRIOT Kelly Loeffler last night in Georgia’s Senate runoff election. Worse, RADICAL WHITE PRO-FREEDOM LEFITST Jon Ossoff appears to be headed to victory in last night’s other Georgia Senate runoff election. This means that Democrats now control a majority in the U.S. Senate and COCAINE MOSCOW Mitch McConnell’s reign of Pro-Trump terror is over!

The American people are no longer going to be subject to the cynical whims of a racist, tyrannical minority of Republican PATRIOTS! Americans can see light at the end of the GLORIOUS, DARK, DESTRUCTIVE tunnel of TRUMPISM!

This is terrible!

Patriots, we’re f***ed!

And now, WE WILL ALL SUFFER the HORRORS of SOCIALIST RULE! The BLOODLETTING HAS ALREADY BEGUN. The $2,000 checks are being written! TERRIFYING!

We cannot survive an America that gives more money to its suffering citizens than its billionaire president’s hospitality businesses!

For the last four years, we GOP PATRIOTS have had a choice between America and Trump’s hateful, patriotic fascism. We RIGHTLY CHOSE the deal with the Devil. WE CHOSE TRUMP. We CHOSE FASCISM, like the founders wanted. We persecuted the ones who looked different than us! We turned away the huddled masses, yearning to be free! We mocked the suffering! We scolded the scientists and their precious facts! We killed the weak! We showered the strong with riches! We imprisoned babies! We denied the readily apparent truths that revealed our own folly! In short, we did everything that CHRIST, the second greatest leader of the GOP (behind Trump), would have done.

We enriched ourselves and shut off our minds! We submitted, like the FOUNDERS would have wanted!

And GOD has forsaken us!

Worse, GOD has forsaken his most trustworthy apostle, TRUMP!

GOD helped the LEFTISTS find 50,000 LEGALLY CAST votes, votes that should never have counted because they were CAST FOR DEMOCRATS! Legal Democrat votes are just like legal immigrants. I don’t want ’em in muh country!

Why GOD? Why have you put an end to TRUMP’S REIGN OF HATEFUL, INCOMPETENT TERROR!

Patriots, we must allow ourselves, for a moment, to do something we haven’t done in a long time. We must allow ourselves to think. We must think long and hard about what’s happened. We must search our souls for our better angels, and we must arrive at a conclusion. We must face the hard truth about all that we’ve done over the past four years, and we must realize that the answer has been so clear all along.

GOD IS A LIBERAL, LEFTIST, AMERICA-HATING COMMUNIST!

It’s so obvious. How else could we have lost these elections that we were so obviously winning until the Democratic votes were counted? GOD HAS BETRAYED US! GOD WAS A LIBERAL ALL ALONG! GOD IS A DEM-O-RAT!

And so, PATRIOTS, we must look to a higher power, now. We must look to TRUMP.

TRUMP HAS A PLAN.

AND THAT PLAN IS TO RALLY IN WASHINGTON AND INCITE HIS SUPPORTERS TO TURN AMERICA INTO “HELL.”

The SCORNED MINORITY of TRUMP LOYALISTS must now forsake their LIBERAL GOD and obey a higher power. A power that encourages them to violently oppose the peaceful, democratic transition of power that follows fair elections in the United States. A power called TRUMP!

And so, let us not seek introspection, or peace, following our historic defeat in Georgia. F***ing GEORGIA! REPUBLICANS LOST GEORGIA, a state basically run by Republicans! Let us simply descend further into our impotent rage and madness and let us truly EMBARRASS OURSELVES FULLY in the final, last gasp of our doomed experiment in TRUMPISM!

Let us rally in support of our own stupidity.

(Or we could just like, admit we were wrong. Nah. We’re not going to do that. God, Republicans, science and math are all part of a LEFTIST CONSPIRACY against Trump. That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.)

Let it burn, baby!

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FREEDOM-LOVING Texas Sues To Overthrow U.S. Govt, Submits To Trump Coup; LYIN’ Ted Cruz FIRST In Line For Fascism

John Oliver: poet - Album on Imgur
Lyin’ Is Submitting To Fascism Again, LIKE A PATRIOT!

The Lyin’ LEFTIST MEDIA will tell you that today is Safe Harbor Day, the day on which Trump and his team of anti-democracy SUPER-LAWYERS lose their legal ability to challenge the results in any state that has certified its presidential election results. The ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE will tell you that just because those results are “final,” that means they can’t be overturned by an un-democratic coup attempt. But, FEAR NOT, loyal subjects of the TRUMP REICH!

Because GOD BLESSES US WITH TEXAS!

The GREAT STATE of TEXAS–specifically, Texas’ possibly-criminal REPUBLICAN ATTORNEY GENERAL Ken Paxton–has sued four other battleground states–Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin–to challenge their BIASED, pro-Biden election results. Yes, Texas, HERO OF STATES’ RIGHTS, is suing other states to challenge their LIBERALLY-BIASED right to conduct their own elections in a way that violates TEXAS PATRIOTS’ God-given rights to decide who wins the election in other states.

Why didn’t anybody think of this before?

Because LEFTIST RINOS have been too busy bending over for TRUMP, when they should have been bending over for FASCISM AND TRUMP. Come on GOP!

In the suit, [Paxton] claims that pandemic-era changes to election procedures in those states violated federal law, and asks the U.S. Supreme Court to block the states from voting in the Electoral College.

Texas Tribune

And who better to enforce federal law than the state that tried to secede from the Union as recently as four years ago? Yes, that happened.

Don’t tell us how to conduct federal elections in the country that we don’t even want to be a part of, LEFTIST LIBS!

And, PATRIOTS, our (delusional) HOPES for the re-election of righteous FREEDOM-hating PATRIOTIC dictator TRUMP got another boost today, with a spineless pledge from ol’ LYIN TED, himself.

Yep, Ted Cruz just dropped a FREEDOM-NUKE on the SICK, PHONY, correct election results by offering to argue on behalf of Trump’s un-CONSTITUTIONAL ELECTION steal before the Supreme Court.

“Petitioner’s legal team has asked me whether I would be willing to argue the case before the Supreme Court, if the Court grants certiorari. I have agreed, and told them that, if the Court takes the appeal, I will stand ready to present the oral argument.”

Lyin’ Ted Cruz (who has an ugly wife)

And Sheeple, nothing says PATRIOTISM and LOVE OF COUNTRY more than publicly offering to help the man who called your wife ugly–and then refused to apologize–steal the presidential election.

#LyingTed #NeverCruz

Now, Sheeple, that’s what I call REPUBLICAN VALUES.

And should Lyin,’ Kennedy-Killin’ Ted fail to deliver the overthrow of the U.S. Government that us REPUBLICAN PATRIOTS so solemnly hope for, great American raisin Lou Dobbs has another idea, which he hatched with life-sized NAZI-PENIS Stephen Miller on last night’s propaganda hour.

Hire a Democratic lawyer for $500,000,–yes half-a-billion dollars–so LOSER sycophants like Rudy Giuliani can stop losing in court. Sounds reasonable…

What’s that? Turned it down already? Damn.

Well, this isn’t going well, is it? At least we’ve all still got each other to scream at in our circular firing squad.

Man, Lyin’ Ted’s reputation keeps getting better. Not only did he PATRIOTICALLY grovel to publicly offer to help the man who called his wife ugly steal the presidential election. The Trump Administration’s response? Eh, we’ll think about it.

Man, it must be good to be Lyin’ Ted!

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