KEEP CALM AND REALIZE THAT LIFE IS ALL A BIG JOKE

IMG_3638.PNG

SHEEPLE, PATRIOTS, and GUN LOVERS, listen here. As I was perusing the listserv’s this morning, looking for the latest news from America’s big 3 news outlets (Fox News, Drudge Report, and Breitbart.com), I had a moment of realization: This, this life, this era of existence, is all a big F#@%ing joke.

Continue reading

Advertisements

LOSER RAND PAUL TAKES ON THE DONALD, LOSES

IMG_3620.JPG

Rand Paul tryed to take it to the DONALD this week, with a new YouTube video designed to protray him as a Demacrat (He’s late to the party by the way, I wrote about how TRUMP was a doubble agent months ago).

Continue reading

SCOTT WALKER CREATES JOBS WHILE EATING INCORRECT CHEESESTEAK, MEDIA IGNORES HIM AND COVERS TRUMP

IMG_3596.JPG

Republican presidential candidate Scott Walker was in the Keystone state today, where he made pilgrimages to two Philadelphia institutions, and created a job while also pissing off every idiot in Philly.

Continue reading

HEY FLORIDA, DON’T TOUCH THOSE ARMADILLOS… BECAUSE THEY HAVE LEPROSY (AND ALSO WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING THEM ANYWAY?) ((BECAUSE YOU’RE FLORIDA?) (OH))

IMG_3583.JPG

What’s that Floridians?

You already made that Armadillo into a stew and ate it?

DAMMIT, FLORIDA!

Continue reading

STUPID LIBERAL IDIOTS THINK THIS TOWN’S SEAL IS RACIST

IMG_3559.JPG

Nestled quaintly in the land that time forgot, upstate New York, lies a small haven of freedom called the town of Whitesboro, New York. For more than 230 years, Whitesboro has stood as a proud testament to the simple life in America. It has a population of about 3,700. It’s 97.68% white. It has a literal Main Street. And, until about three days ago, it had on display a proud AMERICAN town seal featuring a white man strangling a Native American.

All was rightsboro in Whitesboro. Then, the PC police decided to tear down FREEDOM… Continue reading

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA! SORRY YOUR PARTY IS SO LAME.

IMG_3514.JPG

The FOURTH OF JULY is my FAVORITE day of the year… at least it used to be, until OBAMA and his PC, blame AMERICA first, FUN POLICE ruined it.

The signs of freedom’s decline are all around us, fellow PATRIOTS, and unless we SHOUT THEM FROM THE ROOFTOPS OF THE INTERNET, all will be lost.

Continue reading

HEROES OF FREEDOM: 6/20-6/27

It’s been a tough week for freedom, what with gay rights and healthcare and all, so we’re rolling out a new video segment to recognize those heroes who still fight for freedom in the face of tyranny.

Follow Truthmissiles.com on Twitter @Truth_Missiles.

SCALIA VERBALLY A** RAPES STUPID LIBERAL JOHN ROBERTS FOR NOT TAKING AWAY HEALTH INSURANCE FROM MILLIONS OF PEOPLE

IMG_3504.PNG

This story has been updated below to reflect an awesome parody song.

The Supreme Court’s hideously disgusting “ruling” on the landmark Obamacare case King v. Burwell today will not be referenced on this website.

This is a place of FREEDOM. This is a family website where so-called “facts” about disgusting verbal spew like the “fact” that Obamacare is now “legal” will not be allowed to tarnish the proud name of TruthMissiles.com. (And before you say that a “family website” wouldn’t have an article titled like this one, let me point out that I censored the word “Ass” in “Ass Rape” so children are perfectly safe. They have no idea what kind of rape it is. It could be a perfectly legitimate rape.)

Continue reading