Fascism Evicted From White House, Heads Straight To Wall St.

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PATRIOTS, in the last 24 hours I’ve gone from KNOWING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about the stock market to BEING A CERTIFIED EXPERT (certified by myself and Trump University only) and in that time, I’ve come to really ROOT FOR these people who are manipulating the market. No, I’m not talking about the REGULAR PEOPLE who wisely exploited the greed of the wealthy hedge fund managers to make about $5 billion dollars in the last few days. I’m talking about the LITTLE GUY, the hedge fund manager, the greedy, Wall Street corporate raider who everyday puts billions of dollars of other people’s money ON THE LINE, just so he can come home to put food on the table for his family on their yacht! Well, today, THE LITTLE GUYS FINALLY WON! They took THEIR BLOODMONEY back from the REGULAR PEOPLE who STOLE IT FAIR AND SQUARE.

You see, recently, the Robinhood stock trading app allowed millions of ordinary people to outsmart the wealthy, powerful FAT CATS of Wall Street by buying up stocks that the FAT CATS had irresponsibly and possibly illegally shorted (a complicated term that’s too complicated for you, peasants). The FAT CATS reportedly LOST $5 billion dollars. Yep, they really had those FAT CATS over a barrel… until today, when the FAT CATS were bailed out by some apparently illegal HEROICS by… yep, you guessed it, Robinhood! Robinhood said they were going to STOP SELLING CERTAIN STOCKS, which is a totally NORMAL thing for a brokerage to do, DEFINITELY NOT (NOT) ILLEGAL, and they just happened to stop selling all the SAME STOCKS that regular people were making a lot of money off of. And wouldn’t you know it, Robinhood is actually RUN BY THE FAT CATS!

In the process, AVERAGE JOE GREEDYPACK lost everything he’d earned fair and square, LIKE A COMMUNIST!

Turns out, when you make too much money on Wall Street but you live on Main Street, your own stock broker who claims to be on your side will step in and say, “Hey man, you’re making too much money, so for your own protection, I’m going to turn off your money hose and give some of your money back to the rich people that had it yesterday!” As a CONSERVATIVE PATRIOT, I couldn’t be HAPPIER ABOUT THIS!

You see, over the last FOUR years, I’ve come to fully support and endorse FASCISM, and I’m proud to say, that’s what this appears to be. FASCISM! PATRIOTIC AND UNILATERAL! And, why wouldn’t we have expected TRADING OF VALUABLE STOCKS TO BE UNILATERALLY STOPPED by the firm whose motto is, quite truly, “LET THE PEOPLE TRADE”? And, by “trade,” they of course mean, “restricting transactions for certain securities to position closing only.” And by that, they mean, “making sure the reckless hedge funds that own us make more money than our customers.”

And by that, they mean, “doing patently illegal things because we’ll never get put in jail for it.” And by that, they mean, “we should probably change our name to SherrifOfNottingham.”

All this can be really confusing for people who don’t have DEGREES in finance and work on Wall Street, and, therefore, STUPIDLY think they have the RIGHT TO MAKE money. But, I think there’s a way I can dumb it down for you, peasants. You see, you’re a poor person. If you weren’t a poor person anymore, than you wouldn’t be poor, and who would the rich person take advantage of? It’s pretty simple really.

Still too complicated? Well, let’s try another example.

Say five bananas currently cost 10 dollars. One ape on the market has 5 bananas. Snake asks to borrow 5 banana’s for a bit and instead sells the 5 bananas thinking price will go down soon (shorting). He thinks he can buy them later for less and give them back to ape, so he makes profit on the difference. Group of apes notice what stupid snakes are doing and decide to buy all bananas on the market until snakes have no other choice than to buy from the group of apes in order to return what they borrowed. If group of apes stay strong then a giant hedge fund will use the banana trading app that it controls to stop all transactions on the banana market until the apes stop playing UNFAIRLY and give the bananas back to the reckless snakes for FREE. Then once the snakes get back all the bananas they stupidly gave away thanks to rules that the snakes made up to benefit themselves, the government will fine the snakes ONE BANANA, and the snakes will get a MILLION MORE BANANAS FOR FREE, as their punishment for almost collapsing the banana market. This is called “How America works.”

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Seem unfair? Well, you should have thought of that before you were born poor, COMMIE!

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I Don’t Understand The Stock Market!!! And I Feel Angry About It!

GameStop Stock Price All Time High | HYPEBEAST
I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS IS! IS THIS MADE OF STOCK? WHAT’S STOCK? I’M CONFUSED!

NOTE: This column is not intended as investment advice. In fact, anyone who interprets this column as advice of any kind, or think’s it’s remotely smart or funny, is, well, a moron.

PATRIOTS, as a proudly irrational person, nothing gets me more excited than getting excited about things I don’t understand. That’s why, when I heard that a bunch of people on Reddit had somehow pushed the stock price of worthless company GameStop up over 300% simply by all buying the worthless stock, and in the process made many of themselves into millionaires overnight, I said, “What? I literally don’t understand any of that!”

Well, PATRIOTS, let me explain. You see, I don’t know. I don’t know anything about any of this. What I do know is that big, fat Wall Street hedge funds who have become far too accustomed to screwing over the American middle class for years are losing big! Like, BILLIONS and BILLIONS of dollars big, because of the actions of these Redditers on the message board r/wallstreetbets. That’s because the hedge funds shorted the stock of the flailing video game retailer, GameStop, meaning they BET IRRESPONSIBLY HUGE amounts of money that the stock would become basically worthless. BUT SURPRISE! Instead, everyone on r/wallstreetbets seems to have banded together to buy huge amounts of the stock, thereby driving the price up MASSIVELY, and screwing the hedge fund guys! The price of GameStop stock went up from $18 per share to over $300 per share! So the greedy hedge funds are now on the hook for somewhere around $2.75 billion dollars! Maybe even over $5 billion! Yikes! That’s a bigger loss than a Trump Casino!!!!

And the big gains by these Robinhood’s investing on the Robin Hood app has attracted a whole bunch of copycats to similarly worthless stocks that the Average Joe RedditPack thinks the hedge funds may have gotten way over their skis in betting billions against. Now, those Redditors have a couple billion dollars in capital to spend taking down their next target! Which shitty worthless stock will they turn against the Wall Street Fat Cats next? I don’t know!

IN FACT, I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON!!!!

This is SOO CONFUSING! MARGINS! What are those? Like the sides on a piece of paper? OPTIONS! Those are the things I can change on video games, right? SHORTS! I wear those when it’s hot out, right? NO! APPARENTLY, THOSE ARE ALL STOCK MARKET WORDS!

Here’s a word: F************** THIS IS CONFUSING!

But, there’s money to be made, and it looks easy, so as of today, I’m pouring all my money into this wild, casino system that’s always been rigged against me and that I don’t understand. CAPITALISM! (NOTE: I’m not doing this.)

But, PATRIOTS, we can’t get caught up in punishing the greedy just because they’re evil. We must spare a thought for the many, many, many, unscrupulous corporate raiders who lost their fourth yacht as a result of this HORRIBLE ATTACK on WALL STREET!

CNBC must defend these people! This MANIPULATION OF THE MANIPULATIVE MUST BE PUNISHED BY THE GOVERNMENT THAT DIDN’T PUNISH ANY OF THE MANIPULATORS BEFORE! REGULAR PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BE MANIPULATING! THAT’S MEAN!

But the new corporate raiders on Reddit aren’t having it! As evidenced by one Reddit poster’s “open letter to CNBC” which criticized the network for it’s “contempt for the retail investor” and for allowing giant, evil hedge funds to “manipulate the market via your network and if they screw up big … they just get a bailout.”

Yes, that’s what’s called CAPITALISM! Now you get it! The little guy never wins!!!

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Orwellian! My Pillow Man Banned From Twitter For Refusal To Stop Lying And Inciting Civil Unrest!

Customers: Pro-Trump Pillows Are a Nightmare
Night, night!

PATRIOTS, no PATRIOT has fought harder against the EVILS of FREEDOM than Mike Lindell, CEO of My Pillow, “The World’s Shittiest Pillow,”TM and recent proponent of MARTIAL LAW to overthrow the U.S. Government. If that’s not American, than call me a terrorist! That’s why it’s SO INCREDIBLY ORWELLIAN that Twitter has decided to PERMANENTLY BAN the My Pillow man from its platform. What did he do? Apparently, he “alleged that the voting machine companies Smartmatic and Dominion Voting Systems were part of a conspiracy to rig the election against Trump,” according to reports. Big deal! It’s not like that PROVEN, REPEATED LIE ever killed anybody! What’s that? It killed five people? Big deal! They were probably LEFTISTS, anyway!

It’s NOT FAIR that private companies are banning bad faith actors who continually push lies for profit while attacking the fragile peace that sustains our politically-divided society! It’s NOT FAIR because those people REALLY WANT TO PROFIT from the downfall of America! If Mike Lindell can’t profit from selling the PROVEN LIE that Donald Trump won the election, if not for an elaborate conspiracy involving the makers of voting machines, local election officials, state-level Republicans, and the long-dead leader of Venezuela, what is he going to PROFIT FROM? Selling shitty pillows? Selling poisonous plants as a miracle cure for COVID-19? Yes, he did that. And, no, it did not turn out to be a miracle cure, but it was slightly healthier than drinking bleach. MAGA!

These lies never hurt anybody! Did they? I don’t know. Probably. Probably a lot of people, actually. Hmm. But PATRIOTS, the PERSECUTION OF THE PILLOW MAN raises a larger question about American society, namely, do we really want to be the kind of country that allows private companies to silence CONSERVATIVE VOICES just because they refuse to stop intentionally spouting dangerous, destructive, murderous LIES? I think not! That’s ORWELLIAN, just like it was ORWELLIAN that pro-terrorist Republican Senator Josh Hawley briefly lost his book deal for two weeks because he incited terrorism. TERRORISM AND BOOK DEALS FOR EVERYONE! FINANCED BY THE GOVERNMENT! THAT’S WHAT I CALL FREE MARKET!

The FREE MARKET decides things in this country, and the FREE MARKET should decide that the My Pillow man’s LIES, the LIES I LIKE, must be spread to ALL by a private platform called Twitter, and if the FREE MARKET decides it doesn’t want to do that, THAN THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD MAKE IT DO THAT! That’s called Trumpism!

PATRIOTS, America is sick, and the only cure is to just let all the LUNATICS RUN THE ASYLUM! And WHITE OLEANDER EXTRACT! Why not let a former cocaine addict who now sells cheap pillows organize a domestic paramilitary operation AND PROVIDE GREAT HEALTHCARE SOLUTIONS? Why not also let this man tell us who really won presidential elections based on nothing more than the feelings in his gut? Why not let Representatives bring guns and ammunition to the house floor? As long as they really believe those guns are actually candy canes, who’s to tell them they aren’t? It’s called FIRST AMENDMENT! Why not let the people who lOvE tHe FrEe MaRkEt So MuCh force businesses like Twitter to make ONLY the decisions THEY SUPPORT, until ALL AMERICANS are forced to suffer the daily FEAR of incitement of domestic TERROR FOR TRUMP, and attacks on the Capitol following every election the PROVEN LIARS say was fraudulent?

Because that threatens the safety of every American? F*** it! I don’t care! I care about MY FREEDOM, not YOUR FREEDOM!

CANCEL THE CANCEL CULTURE! LET THE LIES FLOW!

Speaking of which, let’s all buy a My Pillow to support the latest VICTIM of his own stupidity. Buy TWO! Buy yours here!

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Dr. Deborah Birx, The HERO Who Kept Her FRIGGIN’ Mouth Shut!

Dr. Deborah Birx Says Someone Was Feeding Trump “Parallel” Coronavirus Data  – Mother Jones
Sometimes, the most patriotic thing you can do is keep your mouth shut!

PATRIOTS, for most of 2020, while Americans cowered in terror from the deadly coronavirus sweeping the nation and the former PRESIDENT appeared too PATRIOTICALLY ignorant, too unwilling, or too sadistic to do anything to slow it, Former White House Coronavirus Response Coordinator, Dr. Deborah Birx, stood by the former president’s side. She lent her credibility to the president who had none. She told us that, while the PRESIDENT SEEMED to have been trying to KILL US ALL by suggesting we drink disinfectant and not listen to “scientists” who told us to try wearing masks and avoiding getting sick with COVID, the PRESIDENT actually, really did know what he was talking about. That’s what Birx told us, that he was reading everything she gave him, that he knew what he was doing.

But now, Dr. Birx, like any true HERO of the TRUMP ERA, is revealing she knew WE WERE ALL SCREWED THE WHOLE TIME, but she never bothered to tell any of us, because, you know, personal gain. Unlike TERRORIST DR. FAUCI, Dr. Birx did her DUTY to the former PRESIDENT. She kept her FRIGGIN’ MOUTH SHUT.

And now, step 3. Try to PROFIT. Everybody wants to hear about how BATSHIT CRAZY TRUMP REALLY WAS, and the former PRESIDENT can’t fire her anymore, so she’s letting it rip like Rudy Giuliani’s butt, telling us all what a ridiculously irresponsible danger to America our GREAT PRESIDENT WAS!

Birx, the COORDINATOR of the WHOLE ENTIRE White House response, told CBS (COMMUNIST BROADCASTING STATION) that she almost never saw or spoke with the former PRESIDENT! She also told CBS that Biden’s PREDECESSOR was getting a “parallel set of data and graphics” that weren’t accurate and she didn’t know where they came from. 

“I saw the president presenting graphs that I never made. So I know that someone … was creating a parallel set of data and graphics that were shown to the president. I don’t know to this day who.”

Dr. Deborah Birx

In other words, I wasn’t responsible for all the Former PRESIDENT’S lies, Birx is telling us. I tried to stop the madman, but forces beyond my control stopped me. I’m the responsible one. I’m like Fauci, not like Dr. Birx, that loser!

And, PATRIOTS, I for one, totally believe Dr. Birx’s day-late-and-dollar-short non-apology apology tour, because if Birx wasn’t totally secretly RESISTING the former PRESIDENT’S patriotic efforts to endanger Americans’ lives, why did she spend so much time PRAISING HIS RESPONSE? IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!

Last year, Birx offered SLOBBERINGLY-PATRIOTIC praise of the former PRESIDENT. She called him “attentive to the scientific literature” in an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network. “He’s been so attentive to the scientific literature and the details and the data,” Birx said. “I think his ability to analyze and integrate data that comes out of his long history in business has really been a real benefit during these discussions about medical issues.” Yes, if that’s not the voice of a concerned adviser who can’t believe her boss is being convinced by fake graphics and data to risk hundreds of thousands of lives, THAN I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS!!!

And, the reporters who saw the former PRESIDENT’S PATH OF DENIAL at the time and wondered why Birx continued to support it, can attest that Birx was never interested in talking to them when they asked about the former PRESIDENT’S DERANGED BEHAVIOR. Maggie Haberman of the FAILING New York Times tweeted that, “when BIRX spoke publicly early on, she appeared in lockstep” with the former President.

Birx is just pulling a BOLTON, trying to sell her story in the form of a LUCRATIVE BOOK DEAL! And, as a TRUMPeter, I couldn’t be more supportive, since calling out the former President’s reckless endangerment of US ALL, long after he leaves office, causes him no harm.

Birx is a HERO, a HERO of the TRUMP-era, a HERO who kept her friggin’ mouth shut while the former PRESIDENT sought to kill everyone, and only once it was lucrative for her, did she speak up.

Her example is a contrast to TERRORIST DR. FAUCI, who opposed the former PRESIDENT while he was in office, and beyond, LIKE A SPINELESS, LEFTIST, SCIENCE-HUGGING COWARD! FAUXci told The New York Times over the weekend about the JOYS of trying to explain to the former President that every snake oil that his conmen friends pitched him over the phone wasn’t a miracle cure.

[I]t was clear that he was getting input from people who were calling him up, I don’t know who, people he knew from business, saying, “Hey, I heard about this drug, isn’t it great?” or, “Boy, this convalescent plasma is really phenomenal.” And I would try to, you know, calmly explain that you find out if something works by doing an appropriate clinical trial; you get the information, you give it a peer review. And he’d say, “Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this stuff really works.”

Dr. FAUXci to the FAKE New York Times

SICK LEFTIST! When the PRESIDENT speaks about the My Pillow man’s miracle cures, YOU KEEP YOUR SCIENCE-LOVING, FREEDOM-HATING MOUTH SHUT!

But FAUXci kept speaking!

“[H]e would say something that clearly was not correct, and then a reporter would say, “Well, let’s hear from Dr. Fauci.” I would have to get up and say, “No, I’m sorry, I do not think that is the case.” It isn’t like I took any pleasure in contradicting the president of the United States. I have a great deal of respect for the office. But I made a decision that I just had to. Otherwise I would be compromising my own integrity, and be giving a false message to the world. If I didn’t speak up, it would be almost tacit approval that what he was saying was OK.”

Dr. FAUXci to the FAKE New York Times

FAKE NEWS FAUCI could learn a thing from HERO DR. BIRX about “compromising” his “integrity” and giving “tacit approval” to the former PRESIDENT’S PATRIOTIC LIES! These are the TWO CORE VALUES of the TRUMP ERA! What happens in the Oval Office stays in the Oval Office. It’s between you, the president, Rudy Giuliani and the My Pillow man! And, DR. BIRX!

Snitches get stitches, FAUCI!

“[O]ne day I got a letter in the mail, I opened it up and a puff of powder came all over my face and my chest. That was very, very disturbing to me and my wife because it was in my office. So I just looked at it all over me and said, “What do I do?” The security detail was there, and they’re very experienced in that. They said, “Don’t move, stay in the room.” And they got the hazmat people. So they came, they sprayed me down and all that… It was a benign nothing. But it was frightening. My wife and my children were more disturbed than I was. I looked at it somewhat fatalistically. It had to be one of three things: A hoax. Or anthrax, which meant I’d have to go on Cipro for a month. Or if it was ricin, I was dead, so bye-bye.”

Dr. FAUXci to the FAKE New York Times

Except, it’s not bye-bye for Dr. F! He’s sticking around to join Biden’s team, because he TOLD THE EVIL TRUTH, while a PATRIOT like DR. BIRX finds herself struggling to break seven figures with her surely-impending book deal! CHILLING! CENSORSHIP! CANCEL CULTURE!

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‘Cryin’ Chuck Schumer Whines About Trump’s Big ‘Erection’ During Speech To Members

Schumer tears up over 'un-American' ban - CNN Video
“Cry more, LIB!” – A. Racist

PATRIOTS, everybody knows Cryin’ Chuck Schumer is a WHINY little bitch (at least everybody who read and believed the vile spew coming from President Joe Biden’s PREDECSSOR’S Twitter before it was deactivated for domestic terrorism), but now Cryin’ has sunk to a new low. He took to the Senate floor, the most sacred place in the U.S. Capitol, which is reserved only for democratic proceedings and crazy men dressed as vikings, to take another cheap shot at Biden’s PREDECESSOR over the PREDECESSOR’S attempt to overthrow democracy. In a speech to MEMBERS, in which Schumer said the article of impeachment against the Predecessor would be delivered to the Senate on Monday, Cryin’ Chuck accused Biden’s PREDECESSOR of trying to incite an “erection”.

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAH! HE SAID “ERECTION!” HE SAID “ERECTION!”

But PATRIOTS, everybody knows, when you take a shot at the KING’S WIENER, you’d better not miss! And CRYIN’ missed BIGLY, because everybody knows, nobody is HARDER for FASCISM than Joe Biden’s PREDECESSOR.

What’s that? PREDECESSOR’S own, white-supremacist, misogynistic Nazi supporters are now calling Biden’s PREDECESSOR “flaccid”?

Damn. Here’s what The “FAKE” New York Times reported about the PREDECESSOR’S biggest supporters, the boys who have the least to be proud of, THE PROUD BOYS!

. . . by this week, the group’s attitude toward Mr. Trump had changed. “Trump will go down as a total failure,” the Proud Boys said in the same Telegram channel on Monday. . .

Last week, Nicholas Fuentes, the leader of America First, wrote in his Telegram channel that Mr. Trump’s response to the Capitol rampage was “very weak and flaccid” and added, “Not the same guy that ran in 2015.”

– The ‘FAKE’ New York Times

Damn. PREDECESSOR even lost his MOST RACIST supporters. This whole MAGA movement is starting to look like a shriveled up hot dog. Even the CRAZIEST of the CRAZIES are abandoning the PREDECESSOR TRAIN. The Q Anon CULT, which believed that PREDECESSOR’S every move was part of a massively convoluted and secret effort to expose and arrest members of a secret cabal of satanist, child-eating, pedophiles (AKA DEM-O-RATS) who run EVERYTHING in the world, IS ABANDONING THE PREDECESSOR TRAIN!

The Q-NUTS thought that on Wednesday, the Bidens, Obamas and the Clintons “would be rounded up and executed for child sex trafficking, treason and other crimes,” and Trump would be inaugurated for a second term. SADLY, PATRIOTS, THEY–and we–WERE WRONG!

Like a flipped switch, the attitude inside online QAnon communities shifted from glee to shock and misery: “NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED!!!”; “So now we have proof Q was total bullshit”; “I feel sick, disgusted and disappointed”; “Have we been duped???”; “You played us all”; “HOW COULD WE BELIEVE THIS FOR SO LONG? ARE WE ALL IDIOTS?”

– HUFFPOST (or whatever the hell that LIBERAL RAG is called now

WE ARE ALL IDIOTS! We all got F***ed by the “ERECTION” Biden’s PREDECESSOR incited. Thanks, Cryin’ Chuck!

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CONSERVATIVES Scorch Biden’s Failed, 24-hour-old Presidency! — Hannity Whines Biden Should Have Solved COVID On ‘Day One’

Biden, Harris Take Office in New US Administration | Voice of America -  English
“Why hasn’t Biden fixed all the problems in our 100% already MADE GREAT AGAIN country, yet?” – Conservatives

PATRIOTS, it’s no secret that Joe Biden’s PREDECESSOR Made America Great Again, already. Greater than it’s ever been, in fact, which is why WE CONSERVATIVE PATRIOTS are so disheartened to see that after a FULL 24 HOURS as president, America under Joe Biden remains the same, intolerant, mindless, sick, scorched HELLSCAPE that it was when PREDECESSOR left office yesterday! I mean, really? What is Biden doing? PREDECESSOR would have fixed all of this already, if he’d ever been President!

Sean Hannity got it right during his FREEDOM HOUR OF FASCISM last night, on day one-half of the TOTALLY ALREADY FAILED Biden Administration, when Hannity said of Biden’s COVID plan, “I thought he was going to do this on day one!”

“WHY HASN’T BIDEN FIXED COVID ON DAY ONE?” Hannity rightly asked of Biden. PREDECESSOR had ONLY just over 365 days to STOP COVID, and Biden GOT A WHOLE ONE!!! Double-standard much, you lying LEFTIST media???

Meanwhile, BIDEN wasted an entire HALF-DAY of being president (the same amount of time it takes Hannity’s LOVER to GOLF) signing 17 executive actions on a range of topics, including the COVID pandemic and rejoining the World Health Organization and the Paris climate accords. LAZY BASTARD! Biden’s PREDECESSOR pardoned over 100 people on his final day! Now, that’s what I call action!

Hannity called Biden “the weak, the frail, the cognitively struggling Biden,” which was a totally ACCURATE description of what LOBOTOMIZED CONSERVATIVES LIKE HANNITY fantasized about while Biden was giving an inarguably coherent and cognitively lucid address, part of his day that saw him not even stop once to TAKE A BREAK TO GO GOLFING OR TWEET. In other words, HANNITY IS RIGHT! BIDEN IS WEAK! SO WEAK HE’S STRONG! IT MAKES SENSE, JUST DON’T THINK ABOUT IT!

And then, in this totally objective and unbiased ASSAULT on the Biden HELL-MINISTRATION, Hannity asked the really important question. No, not the question of, why has HANNITY has abandoned all pretense of objectivity or truth in exchange for riling up the uninformed masses against democracy? HANNITY asked why doesn’t BIDEN work toward unity, while HANNITY continues to sow the seeds of insurrection and domestic terrorism nightly? “For example,” HANNITY suggested, “[Biden] could’ve stopped comparing Republicans to Nazis, like he did a week ago. He could ask his colleagues to stop referring to 75 million peace-loving [PREDECESSOR] supporters as domestic terrorists that support insurrection when they absolutely do not.” Yes, STOP CALLING US WHAT WE ARE, BIDEN. We’re not domestic terrorists and Nazis, we just hate our democratic government and would like to punish everyone who doesn’t look or think like us, and we have many avowed Nazis as prominent members of our political movement! Totally different!

PATRIOTS, we need UNITY, and we CONSERVATIVES sure as hell aren’t going to try to foster it, because there’s too much money being made by Fox News, OAN, and Newsmax for us to ever STOP LYING TO YOU!

But PATRIOTS, fear not because BIDEN has already been involved in a bigger SCANDAL than his PREDECESSOR ever had.

Biden FIRED the General Counsel to the National Labor Relations Board. And, if you’re LIKE most Americans, you’re saying, “What is that?” Well, it doesn’t matter, SHEEPLE!

Or, if you know about this particular general counsel of the NLRB, you might be saying, “Good, because he was one of the foremost opponents of workers’ rights in government, and had been appointed by [PREDECESSOR] specifically to be a sycophant for big business and against unionization.”

OKAY, COMMUNIST! PATRIOTS, all that matters is that Biden did something we can criticize! WE’RE OUTRAGED AT THIS… whatever it was. IT DOESN’T MATTER! The important thing is that WE WILL ATTACK BIDEN HARDER ON THIS SMALL BUREAUCRATIC CHANGE than we ATTACKED [PREDECESSOR] FOR INCITING A TERRORIST ATTACK ON THE U.S. CAPITOL THAT SOUGHT TO END DEMOCRACY AND KILL THE VICE PRESIDENT AND THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE!

OR, ANYTHING ELSE [PREDECESSOR] DID TO LITERALLY TRY TO END THE UNITED STATES, FOR THAT MATTER!

LET THE CONSERVATIVE PILE-ON BEGIN! WE CARE ABOUT THIS COUNTRY AGAIN, because we’re no longer the ones with the power to destroy it!

Also, there’s windows being broken at someplace other than the U.S. Capitol? I care about vandalism and rioting again!

PATRIOTS, we conservatives have seen enough. It’s time to DECLARE this Biden presidency a TOTAL AND COMPLETE FAILURE! We put up with a lot of fascism over the last four years, and we didn’t say a word against it, but Biden looked at me the wrong way during that Inaugural Address!

Impeach! Impeach! Impeach!

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SCENES FROM INAUGURATION DAY 2021: BIDEN’S HELL-NAUGURATION!!!

Joe Biden Inauguration: Biden sworn-in as president; live updates
Unlike his predecessor, Biden swore to uphold the Constitution, rather than his own loyal, bootlicking sycophants, LIKE A LEFTIST COWARD!

Well, PATRIOTS, it’s official. Joseph Robinette SLEEPY HIDIN’ Biden is now the President of the United States. OUR MAGA CULT’S tremendous run of destruction, violence, lies and idiocy is over. We had a good run. We tore down a lot of things (not statues, though). Killed a lot of people, more people than many even thought possible. But, like the Bible says (I assume, because like Trump, I’ve never read it) “For everything there is a season, A time for every activity under heaven.” And, so the season of MAGA is at an end. Its terror and boastfulness will live on for decades, its consequences far-reaching, eternally harmful to our country, as the actions of ALL TRUE PATRIOTS should be. But today it is time for a new season, a season of peace, of hope, of competent presidential leadership, rather than pillaging self-enrichment and self-aggrandizing.

Today begins the season of BIDEN, and I, like the outgoing President of the United States…

…’s Vice President, Mike Pence, wish President Biden good luck.

JUST KIDDING! I’m going to go immediately into REPUBLICAN SPIN MODE, and I’m going to hypocritically attack everything Biden does, whether it’s good, bad, or indifferent! Why? I’m a REPUBLICAN who hates AMERICA. That’s why!

Biden began his term with a call for unity, healing and truth. He said at one point in his Inaugural Address, “There is truth and there are lies – lies told for power and profit.” As a loyal TRUMP supporter, I have NO IDEA who he was referring to with this non-sequitur, but I assume it was some, lying SCUM-o-CRAT.

Then, Biden, said what we’ve all been thinking, that “democracy is fragile,” which was a clear reference to the dangers posed by the TEAM OF COMPETENT STATESMEN AND STATESWOMEN Biden plans to install in power in place of TRUMP’S COALITION OF WINGNUTS, who sought to overthrow the government.

WE MUST REMAIN VIGILANT PATRIOTS! The danger to Democracy has arrived with the EXIT OF DICTATOR TRUMP!

We, PATRIOTS, must now begin living in fear, the same FEAR we RIGHTFULLY INFLICTED on all the persecuted and underprivileged Americans during our REIGN OF TERROR, I mean, GLORIOUS REIGN OF TRUMP! Sleep in fear, now, PATRIOTS, FEAR OF THE BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE OF HOPE AND OPTIMISM delivered by this HELL-NAUGURATION of HIDIN’ BIDEN!

In just one of the scenes from this DISGRACEFUL REFUTATION OF TRUMP’S SPITEFUL, DESTRUCTIVE, PATRIOTIC VISION OF AMERICA’S FUTURE, Amanda Gorman, a young, talented POET–the most EVIL of all LEFTIST professions–recited a message of hope. HOPE! I mean, really, what hope can we, the white persecuted, have at a time like this? We’ve lost our RIGHTS! We can’t even burn down the Capitol Building anymore!

Amanda Gorman, poet, said, ““We will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one … There is always light, if only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.”

Disgrace! How far our national rhetoric and tone has fallen under the FAILED BIDEN ADMINISTRATION that has been in power for a full TWO HOURS! Compare that tolerant mumbo-jumbo to Trump’s POETRY at his rally to destroy America on January 6. . .

“…late in the evening or early in the morning, boom. These explosions of bullshit, and all of the sudden —all of a sudden, it started to happen.”

DONALD TRUMP

Now that’s what I call POETRY!

The HELL-NAUGURATION of Biden also saw the swearing in of the first black and Asian-American Vice President of the United States, Kamala Harris. LIB-TARDS called it a historic step for our country. I call it a SAD NEW LOW for TRUMPISM. Now, I’ve got nothing against black people, but [insert contrived rationalization for why a black person shouldn’t be VP here].

I’m not intolerant, PATRIOTS. I’m just not tolerant. That’s all. And if that makes me a bad person, then, I guess I’m guilty as charged (but don’t worry because I’ll probably get a pardon from TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! (What’s that?? He can’t pardon me after he leaves office??? Damn.))

On this HELL-NAUGURATION DAY, we saw the TRIUMVIRATE OF LEFTISTS (as I call them)–composed of Michelle Obama, Jennifer Lopez, and Lady Gaga–assemble to wreak their UN-AMERICAN ideals of joy and tolerance on OUR country. Just look at Michelle Obama! LOOK AT HER! LOOK!

I AM OUTRAGED!!! (I’m not sure about what, but give me a second, I’ll figure it out (Dang! She looks dignified. She’s everything Melania wasn’t AND I HATE HER!!!)

Lady Gaga showed up for a brief pop-in on her way to BIDEN’S HUNGER GAMES, I assume, to ABSOLUTELY BUTCHER our National Anthem, by singing it instead of mocking it, like TRUMP did.

Then, J-LO told everyone to “get loud” after she sang “This Land Is Your Land.” Really, J-LO? “Your” land? WRONG! THIS IS TRUMP SUPPORTERS’ LAND! IF YOU DON’T LOVE IT, LEAVE IT! (Or storm the Capitol and then call it “patriotism.”)

And, just when things seemed they couldn’t get any worse, COUNTRY MUSIC HERO GARTH BROOKS revealed he’s a been closet AMERICAN all along. I thought he was a REPUBLICAN! TREASON! TREASON!

But the thing that sticks out the most to me, PATRIOTS, is that for the first time in the last four years, a MENTALLY ILL MADMAN WHO DEMONSTRABLY HATES AMERICA IS IN CHARGE OF THE NUCLEAR CODES! I am of course referring to Joe Biden, in case you didn’t get that.

PATRIOTS, it’s a fresh start for America today. The GREAT STAIN ON OUR NATIONAL CONSCIENCE is gone. Whoops! Sorry, a little bit of honesty slipped out there. I mean, A GREAT PATRIOTIC DICTATOR has gone into exile. There we go. Fixed it.

We’ve seen the dawn of a new administration, an administration that promises to respect history, science, fact, and the rights of all Americans to live in peace and safety. DISGUSTING! We’ve seen responsibility and sanity return to the highest office in our land. SICK! We’ve breathed a sigh of relief that our democracy has not yet become the victim of a self-interested, narcissistic, destructive power-grab that exploits the worst in people to pillage the work that our forefathers worked so hard to create. LOSERS!

America has survived TRUMP!

I’m sorry to say, we failed patriots. We tried our best to tear it down, but we finally found the limits of our own incompetence, when it came to successfully carrying out our coup. Now, we must suffer four years of Democracy, tolerance and sanity.

I think TRUMP’S CHILDREN speak for all of us, patriots, when they say, “WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH! BOO! HOO!”

And to the rest of you TOLERANT, LEFTIST BASTARDS, I say, enjoy your precious AMERICA! We’ll be back in four years to try and destroy it again, if you’re not careful!

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Mike Pompeo TRUMPS All Over Himself, Says “Multiculturalism” Is Bad; TRUMP Admin Downplays Slavery On MLK Day

As Trump's top diplomat, Pompeo sought to position himself as the  president's successor
“And then I tweeted, ‘multiculturalism’ was bad.” – Pompeo

Patriots, there are so many HATEFUL HEROES of the TRUMP presidency that I could write thousands of articles about their treacherous, destructive exploits, but ONE TRUMP SYCOPHANT has risen far above the rest of the Hateful Eight-thousand, as I call them. As Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo has taken neck-guts and whatever the opposite of statesmanship is to new lows of Anti-American depravity, including being called “the worst Secretary of State ever.” But he saved his best (worst) for last! On the final day of the Trump HELL-PRESIDENCY, Pompeo declared “multiculturalism,” is “not who America is,” adding that multiculturalism “distort[s] our glorious founding and what this country is all about.” And, to top it off, he added that multiculturalism “make[s] us weaker.”

Pompeo’s HATESTORM of a tweet seemed to catch many LEFTISTS by surprise. What, they wondered, did Trump’s Secretary of State mean with his tweet attacking “multiculturalism”? Surely, even the Secretary of State for the most racist President in the modern era wouldn’t have just simply attacked the very idea of “multiculturalism” in the United States.

One LEFTIST SCUM asked, “is there a non-bigoted way to interpret the idea that ‘multiculturalism’ makes America weak and is not ‘who America is?’

No. No there is not, you SICK, HATEFUL LEFTIST!

There was no context to Pompeo’s tweet, nothing to blunt its jarring seemingly out-of-nowehere racist tone and intent. BUT, GUESS WHAT, YOU SICK, HATEFUL, DISGUSTING LEFTISTS! POMPEO MEANT EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID!

TAKE HIS WORD FOR IT!

MULTICULTURALISM BAD!!

Let me break it down for you LEFTIST SCUM out there! Pompeo, patriots, is a proud Italian-American. Very proud. Italian-American, however, is not a “multi” culture. It’s a 100% AMERICAN culture. But, that’s not true of every culture that exists in America today. Some cultures are more “multi” than others. Let’s take for example, Mexican-American or African-American cultures. You can see very easily, reader, that while these cultures may have “American” in their names, these are not 100% AMERICAN cultures. These, patriots, are what are traditionally known as “multi” cultures. They’re very obviously the cultures that “distort our glorious founding and what this country is all about,” and that “make us weaker.”

Still not getting the difference? Let me see if I can sum it up for you, LEFTIST, BIGOTED SCUMBAGS!

Itallian-American = American

African- and Mexican-American = NOT American

Pretty simple right? These are the ideas that Mike Pompeo and the Trump administration, in the year 2021, I shit you not, believe are “glorious” and “what this country is all about.”

What’s that? You still don’t get it? Jesus Christ, man! You really are a SICK, HATEFUL, LEFTIST, PROGRESSIVE COMMUNIST! Here, let me see if I can make you an EVEN SIMPLER DIAGRAM…

And that, patriots, is how you end up with an administration that pays millions in taxpayer money to set up a commission of MOSTLY NON-HISTORIANS to create a report NOT WRITTEN BY HISTORIANS to downplay the existence of slavery in the United States. It’s how you end up with that 1776 Commission report, which claims that we should not be teaching our children that the white, slaveholding men who founded the United States ACTUALLY HAD SLAVES, and that teaching that HISTORICAL FACT, “has done enormous damage, especially in recent years, with a devastating effect on our civic unity and social fabric.” It’s how you end up with a White House who promotes a teaching of history that, according to HISTORIANS, “seems to regard calling the Founders hypocritical about slavery as worse for the country than actual slavery.”

In other words, THAT’S HOW YOU MAGA, BABY!

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Heil Hawley! THIS Is What The LEFTISTS’ CaNcEl CuLtUrE Looks Like!!!

Josh Hawley Says Candlelight Protest 'Terrorized' His Family, Virginia  Neighbors | News Blog
Another Great American Traitor Silenced By Massive Book Distribution!

PATRIOTS, two weeks ago, Anti-American HERO Senator Josh Hawley, one of the staunchest boosters of President Trump’s fact-free election fraud claims that led directly to the Capitol insurrection, was HEARTLESSLY SILENCED by the TRAITOROUS LEFT because he dared to stand up for FREEDOM, specifically the freedom to destroy the U.S. Government, overturn an election through violence, and take the Vice President and Speaker of the House hostage. You know, BASIC CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS! As a result of his PATRIOTIC STAND, Senator Hawley, Republican hero, LOST HIS BOOK DEAL! Simon & Schuster said that it would CANCEL the publication of an upcoming book by the senator, citing their “larger public responsibility as citizens.” HOGWASH! HAWLEY WAS CANCELLED BY THE HATEFUL, FREEDOM-LOVING LEFTISTS!

Hawley came back at Shit & Schuster (or whatever that company is called) with a skin-blistering TRUTHBOMB statement posted on Twitter, the platform where he speaks to millions and where, presumably, he had not yet been CANCELLED. I don’t know how this “cancelling” works; I just SCREAM ABOUT IT! Anyway, HAWLEY pointed out that the cancellation of his book deal by this private company was “a direct assault on the First Amendment,” adding, “Only approved speech can now be published. This is the left looking to cancel everyone they don’t approve of.” AND, GUESS WHAT, PATRIOTS! JOSH HAWLEY WAS RIGHT! And, by RIGHT, I mean wrong. Because guess who just got his book published!

That’s right! Josh Hawley!

Regnery Publishing, a conservative publishing house, said Monday that it had picked up a book by Senator Josh Hawley, Republican of Missouri, after Simon & Schuster ended its contract to publish it in the wake of assault on the Capitol.

The VERY FAKE New York Times (which is real, in this particular instance)

AND IF THAT’S NOT A TERRIFYING ENOUGH EXAMPLE OF THE DEVASTATING POWER OF THE TOTALLY REAL AND NOT IMAGINARY “LiBeRaL cAnCeL cUlTuRe,” Simon & Schuster, the company that HEARTLESSLY CANCELLED HAWLEY, is the distributor for Regnery, which means the same company that SILENCED Hawley’s right to destroy America through insurrection is now going to SELL and DISTRIBUTE his book.

TrUlY oRwElLiAn!!!!!!!!!!

PATRIOTS, as a good, LAW & ORDER Republican and TRUMP supporter, I want to live in an America where there are no consequences for engaging in insurrectionist activities! But THE LEFT HAS GONE TOO FAR! CONSERVATIVE VOICES ARE BEING SILENCED!

It’s almost as if, other than controlling the most watched news channel, controlling the U.S. Supreme Court, controlling the Executive and Legislative Branches for the last four years, having plenty of publishing companies willing to promote and publish our deranged, anti-American and pro-Nazi ideas, having dozens of popular talk-radio echo chambers, and having dozens of online disinformation platforms promoting our blatantly false claims, CONSERVATIVES HAVE NO VOICE IN AMERICA!

CaNcEl cUlTuRe! CaNcEl cUlTuRe! CaNcEl cUlTuRe! TrUmP, tRuMp, TrUmP!

I fEeL pErSeCuTeD! My PrObLeMs ArE oThEr PeOpLe’S fAuLt! AnYtHiNg ThAt HuRtS mY fEeLiNgS iS tYrAnNy!

I’m A gIaNt, PrIvIlEgEd, EnTiTlEd BaBy! ThE cOnStItUtIoN iS wHaTeVeR i SaY iT iS! ThInGs I dO cAn’T bE iLlEgAl!

WhY aRe YoU tReAtInG mE lIkE a F***iNg BlAcK pErSoN? i’M nOt RaCiSt!

WhY aRe YoU hUrTiNg My FeElInGs?

StOp CaNcElInG mE wItH vAlId CrItIcIsM!

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PA Patriot Sought By FBI Over Plan To Sell ‘Crazy’ Nancy’s Stolen Laptop To Putin For TrUmP, tRuMp, TrUmP! (Everything’s fine.)

Image
Take a good look at the face of a HERO of the TRUMP PLOT TO END DEMOCRACY!!!

PATRIOTS, it’s no secret that a lot of our enemies are TOTALLY CRAZY, like “CRAZY” Nancy Pelosi! It’s SAD because our people, TRUMP’S PEOPLE, are SO SANE, SO VERY, vErY sTaBlE! We’re like, really sane! Many people are saying the SANEST EVER! Case in point, Riley June Williams, the American, pro-TRUMP PATRIOT pictured above, who HEROICALLY fought to destroy the country she loved based on one of TRUMP’S WONDERFUL LIES ABOUT ELECTION FRAUD. She’s now WANTED for her role in the Capitol Insurrection. Specifically, she’s wanted because she allegedly stole a computer from Nancy Pelosi’s office as part of an alleged scheme to sell the device to TRUMP’S PATRIOTIC FRIENDS, THE RUSSIANS!

In many ways Riley June’s story is the story of America. A young idealistic young woman from The Bowels of America, Pennsylvania, she had it all, until everything almost went tragically wrong. Williams almost fell for the Liberal Lie known as THE DEMOCRATS! She almost chose the easy life in the lame ol’ World’s Greatest Democracy, but eventually, she did the right thing. She HEROICALLY CHOSE RADICALIZATION through online, right wing message boards. She told those STUPID LIB-TARDS to SHOVE IT, and headed off to the MECCA of freedom, the CAPITOL INSURRECTION, with the intent of expressing her ULTIMATE FEALTY FOR TRUMP!

She broke into the Capitol amid the chaos, where she was caught on video by ITV News directing insurrectionists toward Speaker Pelosi’s office. She was, according to the documentary reporter, “disciplined, focused, with a sense of urgency, directing people up a staircase.”

And PATRIOTS, why wouldn’t she have been disciplined? Like many of those who stormed the Capitol with the intent of murdering the Speaker of the House and the Vice President, she appears to have had a plan. A detailed plan. A pAtRiOtIcAlLy TrEaSoNoUs plan!

She allegedly stole a laptop from Speaker Pelosi’s office. A video appears to have captured her fleeing the scene.

But like many best-laid plans, her EX got in the way! Riley June’s RAT BASTARD FREEDOM-LOVING EX-BOYFRIEND (or girlfriend, but probably not ’cause she’s a patriot) RATTED HER TRAITOROUS BEHAVIOR OUT TO THE FBI, that SICK SON-OF-A-BITCH!!! This VERY FINE person’s ex snitched to the FEDS that Williams, “intended to send the computer device to a friend in Russia, who then planned to sell the device to SVR, Russia’s foreign intelligence service… the transfer… to Russia fell through for unknown reasons.”

Unfortunately for Donald Trump, his insurrectionists, and everyone else who hates America and Democracy, Riley June Williams’ plan to sell out her country to Russia fell through “for unknown reasons” and she “still has the computer device or destroyed it.”

So, she’s currently wanted by the FBI and according to the government, “It appears that WILLIAMS has fled.”

PATRIOTS, let the story of Riley June Williams be a cautionary tale for anyone considering joining the TREASONOUS, PATRIOTIC CAUSE of the leftists who support Democracy, and who oppose TrUmP, tRuMp, TrUmP! Riley June almost ended up as a mindless LEFTIST! Luckily, she chose a better path. She lobotomized herself for TRUMP, betrayed her country, and now, at just 22 years old, fleeing the FBI after having participated in a terrorist attack, she’s just another example of an American life ENRICHED BY TRUMP’S HEALTHY GOODNESS!

According to the FBI, Riley June Williams’ mother stated that before the January 6 insurrection, “her daughter had taken a sudden interest in President Trump’s politics and “far right message boards.” She claimed that WILLIAMS ‘took off,’ ‘is gone…’”

She sure is! She sure is “gone” in every sense of the word! Don’t you want to be like Riley June Williams, PATRIOTS? Get on those “far right message boards!” Don’t wait! This face could be you, if you just let go of your useless mind and EMBRACE THE TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP!

FBI probes if Capitol rioter stole Pelosi laptop to sell to Russia
This could be your face! A vErY sTaBlE face! The face of TOTAL SANITY!

PATRIOTS, it’s not just Riley June Williams! More Americans are being vaccinated every single day against the DISEASE OF LIBERAL THOUGHT! There’s also the founder of the comically-on-the-nose group COWBOYS FOR TRUMP! He’s also a New Mexico County Commissioner and he was arrested on charges of illegally entering the U.S. Capitol, or as he put it, he was “caught up” in the crowd.

He told investigators he never entered the Capitol Building, but, unfortunately for this Cowboy For Trump, video he posted on his OWN FACEBOOK PAGE shows him inside restricted areas of the Capitol. But, he was just “caught up,” which is why he recently told a meeting of county commissioners that he was going back to Washington with his guns on Inauguration Day.

He said, “I’m gonna be there on Jan. 20 … and I’m gonna take a stand for our country and for our freedoms… I’m gonna leave either tonight or tomorrow. I’ve got a .357 Henry Big Boy rifle lever action that I’ve got in the trunk of my car and I’ve got a .357 single action revolver, the Colt Ruger Vaquero that I’ll have underneath the front seat on my right side and I will embrace my Second Amendment.

“I will keep my right to bear arms. My vehicle is an extension of my home in regard to the Constitution law, and I have a right to have those firearms in my car,” he said.

Cowboys for Trump founder Couy Griffin

Just another patriot rejecting the LIBERAL DISEASE of THOUGHT! The madness is spreading! Embrace the TrUmP, tRuMp, TrUmP, unless you wanna live a prosperous, safe and secure life outside of jail and outside of the CULT, like a total “loser” and “sucker!”

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