Patriots, TERRORIST “Doctor” Anthony Fauci of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NOTE: is he pro-diseases? Check before publishing) is once again trying to FORCE his LEFTIST, PRO-FACT AGENDA on the illiterate, FREEDOM-F***ING masses.
Today, FART-FACE FAUCI is warning Americans not to travel for CHRISTmas, the most sacred REPUBLICAN holiday of the year, all because of a little, tiny, fake, hoax virus that has killed nearly 279,000 Americans (mostly in BLUE states, if you don’t check the facts). Well, here’s a newsflash for you, OSAMA BIN-FAUCI, we patriots fought a War On Christmas for eight years, from 2008-2016, and a lot of good Republicans got triggered, but we won. We say “Merry Christmas,” now, all year long, and we EARNED OUR RIGHT to die to celebrate this sacred, religious holiday, and to TAKE A LOT of LIBS with us!
Republican Congressman Jim Jordan gets it. He’s not gonna let some “scientist” tell him what is, and is not “science,” simply because he’s studied “infectious diseases.” GYM’s bringing the “facts” to this debate, and like all true Republicans, the only “facts” on his side are wild, baseless speculation designed to inflame tensions in the UNITED States.
BOOM! Truth-nuke! Hit the fallout shelter, leftists, because you just got owned. Let me break it down for you extra-stupid leftists. There’s a straight line between advising against travel and BANNING SPEAKING OF CHRISTMAS. Need a diagram?
Advising against travel ——-> BANNING SPEAKING OF CHRISTMAS.
There. Proven. True fact. I HEREBY DECLARE IT.
But beyond inflaming anger against our country’s factually-biased scientists, whatever that title means (it means they know science, like about diseases? No, I don’t believe that), GYM’s hardcore FACT-F***ING of GRINCH FAUCI has TRIGGERED stupid libs who oppose GREAT AMERICAN HEARTLAND VALUES, like dying for no reason so that Republicans can maintain power over government, instead of following common-sense public health measures.
Just look at these sad responses to GYM.
And, PATRIOTS, this is all because the LEFT doesn’t want to admit that this VIRUS is just a means of CONTROLLING you and your Jesus-loving family. Just listen to the FLIMSY, FAKE NEWS justification for Fauci and the science bitches’ CRAAAAZY recommendation that you wear masks and don’t travel. Here’s what he said in an interview with the FAKE NEWS WEEKLY, aka Newsweek.
“January is going to be terrible,” with the outbreak expected to reach its worst level yet. The director of… the White House COVID-19 task force explained: “I think January is going to be terrible because you’re going to have the Thanksgiving surge super-imposed upon the Christmas surge. So it’s entirely conceivable that January could be the worst.”Newsweek
Surge? Yeah, right. That’s a soda, LIBS.
But patriots, we know who the REAL VICTIMS are in this crisis that has killed 279,000 people, and while the LIBERALS at Fox News might tell you it’s people who are being forced to face MINOR INCONVENIENCES like wearing masks and social distancing, we TRUE NEWS PATRIOTS know that our nation’s number one victims are, ALWAYS and FOREVER, the LONG-SUFFERING TRUMP FAMILY, who gave perhaps the biggest contribution to the WAR ON CHRISTMAS by bringing back the never-gone holiday utterance, “Merry Christmas.”
“Who gives a f*** about Christmas stuff and decoration?”Melania Trump
Oops. Wrong quote.
But, anyway the STUPID LIBS AND THE STUPID AMERICAN ELECTORATE are being very mean to our nation’s NUMBER-ONE VICTIM, Donald Trump. They voted him out of office just because he did a horrendous job handling the pandemic, oversaw massive corruption, lied more than any human who’s ever held public office in the United States, tried to end Democracy, tried to kill Obamacare, harmed the environment, destroyed most of our alliances, and played golf more than he worked.
Luckily, elected Republicans recognize the president’s victimhood, and they’re standing up FOR HIM against the well-known liberal bias of Democracy.
Just look at the cowardice of these fair-weather Trumpers.
It’s December. It’s been a FULL MONTH since we learned Joe Biden won the presidential election, and only two heroes, Rep. Mo Brooks (R-AL) and Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ) were willing to firmly tell the Washington Post that Donald Trump won the presidential election. Disgraceful.
As for the other 249 Republicans in Congress, 221 of them let the FAKE NEWS cloud their judgement enough that they can’t see that the opposite of reality is the TRUE REALITY, and Donald Trump is the winner. Spineless. And even worse, 26 Republicans in Congress say Joe Biden won just because he got more votes. SICK AND SAD!
So, patriots, this CHRISTmas, in addition to ignoring all sense, and ignoring DEMOCRATIC MANDATES from the COMMUNIST AMERICAN GOVERNMENT, and in addition to thanking God for Jesus or whatever, and in addition to selfishly traveling across the country so we can have OUR HOLIDAY about being selfless or whatever, let’s give thanks for the LAST FOUR PATRIOTS in our HELL-SCAPE OF A COUNTRY (that Donald Trump is still running), and let’s THANK GOD for PRESIDENT T, MO BROOKS, PAUL GOSAR, and GYM JORDAN.
Without them, the LIBS, aka AMERICANS, might win.
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Patriots, these are dark times for FREEDOM and LIBERTY. A democratically-elected DEMOCRAT is about to ascend to the presidency by the COMPLETELY BIASED PROCESS of accurately counting votes. But FEAR NOT! FREEDOM is on the RISE again! In the form of MARTIAL LAW!!!
Michael Flynn, the president’s former National Security Adviser, who pleaded guilty to crimes committed during the Trump transition in 2017 but was recently pardoned by the “Law and Order” president, has dropped an ATOM bomb of truth by calling on Donald Trump to “temporarily suspend the Constitution” and impose martial law so that the military can “oversee a national re-vote.” And, oh, by the way, let’s also have the military “silence the destructive media” while we’re at it, says Flynn. FIRST AMENDMENT, BITCHES!
Everybody knows that when you lose an election and don’t like the result, just yell “RE-DO” and we vote again. IT’S IN THE CONSTITUTION! LOOK IT UP, SLEEPY JOE!
Now, some in the FACTUALLY-BIASED MEDIA might make the unfounded claim that Flynn’s proposed PATRIOTIC violation of the Constitution smacks of “authoritarianism” and completely subverts the legally-established process of holding fair elections in the United States, literally replacing the duly elected president through a military coup (not to mention shredding the Constitutional protection of freedom of the press); however, to that well-reasoned, idiotic, ANTI-AMERICAN criticism, I AND ALL PATRIOTS SIMPLY SAY “TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!”
You lost even though you got more votes, SLEEPY. Get over it!
And Flynn makes a perfectly reasoned argument, which is totally going over stupid lib heads, when he says in his tweet, “Freedom never kneels except for God.” In this case, God is on Trump’s side so freedom can take a knee. Jesus will take it from here, and Jesus says RE-VOTE, asshole!
And just in case Jesus isn’t American enough for you, LEFTIST, ANTI-HUMAN SCUM, how about some good ‘ol Abe M.(otherfuckin’) Lincoln? Because Flynn, Trump “lawyer” Lin Wood, and the PATRIOTICALLY unhinged “We The People Convention” (to destroy America and install Trump as permanent dictator) have got a totally apt comparison.
In the months following the start of the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln struggled to preserve the Union. Many objected to Lincoln’s extraordinary use of Presidential authority, in particular his suspension of the right of “Habeas Corpus”… Today, the current threat to our United States by the international and domestic socialist/communist left is much more serious than anything Lincoln or our nation has faced in its history – including the civil war.“We The People Convention” Ad
Suck it, libs. You STAND NO CHANCE against an alliance of Jesus, Lincoln, Michael Flynn, and Jon Voight! Lincoln used the military DURING THE CIVIL WAR, so Trump can do it when he doesn’t like the election result. They’re the SAME thing! (If you ignore everything about both of those things.)
And another PATRIOT has just joined the CIVIL WAR DREAM TEAM. Crazy-nut Alabama Republican Rep. Mo Brooks says he’s going to “challenge the Electoral College votes when Congress officially certifies Joe Biden’s victory on Jan. 6,” according to POLITICO. And his reasoning is totally not* insane, just like Insane Mike Flynn’s. Brooks says, “This election was stolen by the socialists engaging in extraordinary voter fraud and election theft measures.” And he’s got evidence to support that claim. That evidence is [insert evidence here once some exists].
But, patriots, I’m sorry to say we’ve got bigger problems than possibly inciting a new civil war in order to stage a military coup for Trump…
…because Sasha HUSSEIN OBAMA is on TikTok.
Truth-fighters, I’m sorry to say, this means we must adjust our battle plans. I, SheepleNumber1, HEREBY CLAIM that all freedom-loving patriots ignore the PLIGHT OF TRUMP AND FLYNN and focus ALL of their attention on this imminent threat to freedom posed by the social media dancing of the daughter of our first TERRORIST-AMERICAN president! I know it seems insane, but that’s never stopped us before. FIGHT FOR LIBERTY by retweeting this video to all your friends so that they can see what a TRUE THREAT TO FREEDOM looks like, and if that means giving up on Trump and letting Sleepy Joe Biden assume the White House, so be it. It’s the lesser of two evils. We’ve only got so much patriotism on this side of the aisle.
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Patriotic Democracy-overthrowers, if there’s one thing I hate, it’s flip-floppers who still support the things I used to like, but now hate, like Democracy. Exhibit number A1 is the formerly great CONSERVATIVE MEDIA website National Review. For eight years, these patriots blindly stood up to everything President HUSSEIN Obama stood for, just like good Republicans, but now, just because Donald Trump wants to burn America to the ground because he lost-won the 2020 election, the fair-weather conservatives of National Review have TURNED ON TRUMP!
They’ve grown a spine. Sick!
Where’s your integrity, National Review? Just pick a side and blindly stay with it, no matter how many of your core principles you have to abandon! That’s what I and every other Trump supporter have done since the beginning. It’s not so hard. It’s not like it costs us our souls and eats away at our corporeal beings every second of every day! We’ve never looked and felt better and healthier.
See? Our mob-cult isn’t toxic at all.
Instead, National Review has climbed on it’s big, tall, high horse just to show off that it hasn’t become morbidly-obese and immobile from eating Hardees and Mountain Dew. The Lib-o-crat Conservative editorial board of the “faux-servative” National Review viciously attacks Trump today for NO LEGITIMATE REASON other than his “disgraceful conduct since losing his bid for reelection to Joe Biden on November 3.”
These SPINELESS COWARDS continue their principled, fact-laden screed, saying, “make no mistake: The chief driver of the post-election contention of the past several weeks is the petulant refusal of one man to accept the verdict of the American people.”
True, but the Nat Rev (a nickname I made up) don’t understand that that man’s name is Joe Biden, and he refuses to accept that HE LOST EVEN THOUGH HE GOT MORE VOTES!
What’s so confusing about that, Dumbs?
But the Nat Rev screeders keep pushing their factually-biased attacks.
“Almost nothing that the Trump team has alleged has withstood the slightest scrutiny. In particular, it’s hard to find much that is remotely true in the president’s Twitter feed these days. It is full of already-debunked claims and crackpot conspiracy theories about Dominion voting systems. Over the weekend, he repeated the charge that 1.8 million mail-in ballots in Pennsylvania were mailed out, yet 2.6 million were ultimately tallied. In a rather elementary error, this compares the number of mail-ballots requested in the primary to the number of ballots counted in the general. A straight apples-to-apples comparison finds that 1.8 million mail-in ballots were requested in the primary and 1.5 million returned, while 3.1 million ballots were requested in the general and 2.6 million returned.
“Flawed and dishonest assertions like this pollute the public discourse and mislead good people who make the mistake of believing things said by the president of the United States.“National Review Editorial Board
Hey LIBS, where in the president’s Oath Of Office does he promise not to promote “already-debunked claims and crackpot conspiracy theories”? Exactly. It doesn’t. It doesn’t make the President promise to do a good job at all, so by that measure, Trump’s doing a great job upholding his oath.
Suck it, Scum-o-crats!
While National Review’s editors were busy PREENING about things uttered by Trump that aren’t “remotely true,” Trump and his legal team were busy WINNING as BIGLY as they did on election night. This time, the bloodbath came in the CONSTITUTIONAL REPUBLIC OF ARIZONA, where TEAM TRUMP (or the TRUMP-A-ZONA TRUMP-NALS, as I now call the Trump team) had another HUGE VICTORY today.
And, yes, that might not sound great on the surface, but just think of it this way: Trump got less votes on election night, and that means HE WON. Therefore, certifying Biden as the OFFICIAL winner of more votes means TRUMP WON less votes, therefore, like on election night, TRUMP WON AGAIN!
Don’t tell me that’s false, Libs! I just did the math! I showed my work! Don’t take away this feeling I’m vibing on right now! Trump… Trump! TRUMP!
TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!
Inject it into my veins! More!
How about this TRUTH MOAB from the Trump-A-Zona Trump-Nals Director Of Social Media, Mike Some-guy-whose-name-doesn’t-matter-at-all.
STOP THE BIAS!
The BIG TECH NAZIS at Twitter flagged 100 Trump tweets in “JUST A 14 DAY PERIOD,” compared to–and yes, you read that right–ZERO Biden tweets.
ZERO? Biased much?
You can’t just CENSOR people’s tweets by putting a small, discrete notification under them that they are false just because they are provably false. That’s called Communism. And, it totally and completely violates the Constitution because if one person tells 100 lies and another person tells zero lies, the person who told 100 lies automatically becomes the president. LOOK IT UP! ITS IN THE CONSTITUTION, LIBS!
Don’t tell me that’s false. I HEREBY DECLARE IT!
Trump. Trump! TRUMP! Inject it into my femoral artery!
“We are gonna win. Jesus is with us in this fight for liberty. There was a prayer call last night. You cannot believe the prayers that are going up. This is God’s battle even more than it is our battle. God is going to do things, we’re all going to be shocked… I’d be happy to die in this fight. This is a fight for everything. God is with us.”Conservative Radio Host Eric Metaxas
Now that’s the good stuff!
Sheeple, this is the kind of CONSERVATIVE LEADERSHIP we need more of. Not the SISSYBALL being played by National Review, where only some of its contributors voted for Trump in 2020. This is bringing in the big guns for this “fight for liberty,” which involves overthrowing liberty. We’re bringing in Jesus, we’re bringing in God and Jon Voight already brought in “Moses and all saints.” Now, we’ve brought in Conservative radio host Eric Metaxas, whoever the HELL that is. Apparently, Donald Trump knows who he is because Donald Trump called into his radio show to stoically and calmly rant and rave about the fake-rigged election, and that’s a good enough recommendation for me. The Libs can’t defeat this DREAM TEAM!
Metaxas is good to have on our team, the Trump-A-Zona Trump-Nals, too, because he’d be, “happy to die in this fight.” I certainly wouldn’t. I’m a patriotic draft-dodger, like PATRIOT #1, Trump.
Go get ’em, Metaxas, and all you other useful idiots–I mean patriots. Go die to overthrow the government and install a billionaire former Democrat tax dodger con-man as dictator in chief!
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Patriots and Fact-fighters, we Conservatives have no love for Hollywood’s PETULANT RULING-CLASS of elite, liberal communist, self-made millionaires, but perhaps we’ve judged the Hollywood Scum-o-crats too harshly. Maybe they’re not all bad. Maybe they’re not all hateful leftists who advocate ANTI-AMERICAN things like “peace,” and “tolerance.”
Jon Voight’s not one of those Hanoi Janes! Jon Voight knows what’s up. Trump’s up, baby! Up BIGLY in the count of LEGAL, NON-THEM-O-CRAT-CAST VOTES! And now, Jon Voight’s sending perhaps the most PATRIOTIC, AMERICAN MESSAGE that’s ever been uttered on these Jesus-loving shores, from sea to shining sea…
THE TIME FOR PEACE IS OVER! BURN THIS MF’ER TO THE GROUND!
“Let me warn you all that we are in great danger if we fall under a Biden Administration … I ask all to fight this battle now, to get them all out. I’ve been attacked by my fellow peers, saying I am preaching violence when the truth is, they all are. The left are burning and destroying our cities. We are willing to fight for freedom. Not freedom to burn down our flag, but to raise her up with the glory of this land of the free, but the left are trying to stop these truths. Let us bring justice.”Jon Voight, Patriotism & Violence Inciter
Jon Voight has had about enough of your shit, you DEMOCRACY-LOVING FREAKS! It’s time to take out the trash!
And while the Lib-o-tards might scoff at this 81-year-old multimillionaire inciting violence in the name of preserving the Patriotic American Shit-Show known as the Trump Presidency, don’t forget Jon Voight knows the Transformers. Not only does that put a team of indestructible, transforming Super-Robots on Team Trump, it also means Jon Voight knows Transformers director Michael Bay, who has unleashed more explosions and firepower on the world than the entire U.S. Military COMBINED.
Crapping your pants yet, Sleepy Joe and The Dem-o-scums?
But, despite Voight’s overwhelming tactical advantage, he’s very clear that he’s not calling for violence. He’s simply asking, “all to fight this battle now, to get them all out.” He didn’t say HOW to get them out. Maybe we could just ask nicely for them to suspend the Constitution because of evidence we haven’t produced that the entire election was rigged.
But, make no mistake, while Jon Voight’s not calling for violence, he’s also not not-calling-for-violence. He never responds to the charge from his opponents that he’s “preaching violence,” despite bringing it up, himself. Instead, GEN. “MAD-DOG” VOIGHT goes on the attack against the people IMPRISONING HIM IN A COMMUNIST HELL-STATE, by making him put some cloth over his face while he’s outside just to prevent thousands of deaths.
“He’s a disgrace to mankind,” Voight heroically says of California’s Lib-o-crat Governor Gavin Newsom, judging-not-lest-he-want-to-judge. “He is a lie, like all the left that are trying to destroy the USA.”
The man IS a LIE. A man so evil, he’s actually BECOME A LIE! It doesn’t have to make sense, SOROS-LOVERS! Just agree with it! DEMS BAD! DEMS BAD! “We must get governor Newsom out,” Voight demands. “He’s destroying the people’s freedom.”
But the best is saved for last, because while Jon Voight doesn’t want violence–far from it, in fact–make no mistake, this is a civil war against “evil” in which PATRIOTS are being “targeted” and God, “Jesus, Moses, and all saints” are going to protect the TRUMP-ALLEGIANTS in this “BATTLE.”
Which, admittedly, sounds a lot like a call for violence… if you’re a stupid lib who doesn’t get TRUTH!
“Let the truth show itself, that President Trump is the only man who can save this nation. Let us fight this evil now and know that God’s truths will expose them all. Let me ask all to pray in the name of Jesus, Moses, and all saints for their hands of safety to be on us now. The way in which we are being targeted will be hard to fix, but with all your love and prayers and truths we can win this battle against this evil force that has taken over this country … We must remember who we are. We are a nation that fought the Civil War, and we won that battle. Let’s not give up.”Jon Voight, High Priest Of The Trump Cult
Jon Voight’s going BALLS-TO-THE-WALL to fight this NON-VIOLENT CIVIL WAR by posting HEROICALLY unhinged calls for MASS VIOLENCE on social media from his mansion in Beverly Hills. The least you can do, humble DEPLORABLES, is to take to the streets and risk your lives to overthrow the LIBERALLY-BIASED AMERICAN DEMOCRATIC PROCESS in order to keep a rich, out-of-touch, former Democrat billionaire in office so he can continue to embezzle taxpayer money for him, his adult children, and his enormous rolodex of bootlickers and SPINELESS CRONIES.
It’s SO SIMPLE!
Or, you could be like Jon Voight’s LOSER DAUGHTER Angelina Jolie, and do nothing instead of fighting to stop the people trying to STEAL THIS ELECTION BY COUNTING LEGAL VOTES.
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There are moments that define American presidential greatness. And then there are moments that shatter the paradigm of human achievement in the field of looking heroic, manly and statesmanlike. For OUR GREAT SAVIOR AND PRESIDENT, the image above was both.
Today is the day Trump went from being president to dictator, a title of esteem reserved for only the most benevolent and wise leaders. And nothing says wise leadership like coiling one’s McRib-fat-caked haunches upon a perfectly normal-height chair behind a perfectly normal-sized desk with a perfectly normal-sized Presidential Seal in a perfectly normal scene of Thanksgiving leadership.
That’s what Donald Trump did this Thanksgiving. He appeared at a perfectly statesmanlike, and not-hilarious-at-all photo-op in the White House Reception Room, and he sat for a totally-average berating of the reporters of the White House Press Corps while sitting under a microphone, which was a totally-acceptable distance above his head next to a completely-average, undecorated, traditional American Thanksgiving Tree, like we all have in our houses right now. An undecorated tree, for Thanksgiving. You know, normal. Normal desk. Normal scene.
And the stupid, scum-eating Lib-o-crats LOST THEIR FREAKING MINDS.
Just look at this disgraceful mockery of OUR PRESIDENT:
Patriots, this is who the Butt-Sucking Lib-tards are. They’re name callers. They go low when we go high. They call OUR PRESIDENT #DiaperDon when he never said anything bad about them.
Except “Sleepy Creepy Joe,” “Da Nang Dick,” “Crooked,” “Lyin’,” “Heartless,” “Skank,” “Al Frankenstein,” “Monster,” “Joe Munchkin,” “Fat Jerry,” “That Dog,” “Crazy Nancy,” “Adam Schitt,” “Pocahontas,” “Low IQ,” “Half-Whitmer,” “Morning Psycho,” “Kung-flu,” “Leakin'” James Comey, “Fat Jerry,” “Basically Braindead,” “Cryin’ Chuck,” “Wierdo,” “The Indian,” “Dumb As A Rock,” “Sleepy Eyes,” “Thugs,” and “Mr. Kurd,” etc.
Still, DiaperDon–, I mean President-King-And-Jesus-Elect Donald Trump kept it sane with a reasoned, calm response to the EVIL, SATAN-WORSHIPPING CABAL’S VERY UNFAIR QUESTIONS. Calm and sane, like always, Trump said this, in response to the unfair question of whether he would concede to loser-elect Sleepy Joe just 22 days after he lost the election.
“You’re just a lightweight. Don’t talk to me that way. I’m the President of the United States. Don’t ever talk to the president that way.”– President Trump
Don’t these stupid Enemies of the People know that the president has the special privilege of not being asked tough questions by the press? Seriously. Where’d they get their Journalism License? A Crackerjack box? They certainly didn’t get it from Trump University, which probably explains why they’re SO INCOMPETENT at BEING INCOMPETENT, unlike us Conservative Reporters.
Then, Trump TRUMPED IT UP by TRUMPING the next question, correctly falsely comparing the GREATEST COUNTRY ON EARTH to the “third world.”
“Massive fraud has been found. We’re like a Third World country. We’re using computer equipment that can be hacked. They talk about glitches. How many glitches did they find? A glitch, oh gee, we had a glitch, 5,000 votes. In all cases, right? In all cases, the votes went from Trump to Biden. They didn’t go from Biden. The glitches were never from Biden to Trump. They had many glitches, and they said, “Oh, we had a glitch.” A glitch is like the equipment is a little broken, we’ll fix it up. No, a glitch is, in this case, we caught them cheating, we caught them stealing, we caught a fraudulent effort to get votes, and they said, “Oh yes, it’s true, there was.” And there were many of them.”– President Trump
Following that FALSE TRUTH, Trump kept it classy some more, adding a new name to the Enemies Of The People List: Georgia Republican Secretary of State, and avowed Trump voter, Brad Raffensperger.
“…The Secretary Of State, who is really, he’s an enemy of the people. The Secretary of State, and whether he’s Republican or not, this man, what he’s done…”President Trump
But despite that (ir)RATIONAL RAGE, the big demons at big tech were already pushing ALTERNATIVE TRUTH, so Donald J(ust being cool, not going insane at all) Trump decided to set the record straight about the SLANDEROUS FACTS that caused #DiaperDon to trend on Twitter.
But since the ENEMIES OF THE PEOPLE IN THE MEDIA didn’t get the subtlety of that ALTERNATIVE FACT, Trump decided, rightly, that it was time for the GREATEST, FREEST COUNTRY IN AMERICA to shut it all down.
Of course, STUPID LIBS and STUPID OTHER PEOPLE had no idea what the president was referring to, just because it was an obscure communications law, so one of the STUPID LIBS wasted their time figuring it out, instead of just agreeing with the president the way Real Patriots do.
If you’re a PATRTIOT who doesn’t read Twitter, like I clearly DON’T, I’ll summarize. Section 230 provides immunity, for websites like Twitter, from responsibility for third party content, like #DiaperDon tweets.
A.k.a., it’s about more freedom, if by more, you mean less. But, I now support opposing freedom of expression, because Trump, Trump, TRUMP!
Only 53 days and counting until the SECOND TERM begins!
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Pack the nanny state on the chuck wagon and GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE, LIBS, because President Trump’s latest prospectin’ in his ever-ending quest to make America “great” again has just mined another brilliant, fossilized government policy straight out of the Wild Wild West and the 1800s.
Yep, it’s gonna be a rootin’ tootin’ good time at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue this holiday season, as the guns get t’ blazing. The Dem-o-rats over at the MSM rag ProPublica report, with much sissyin’ and hand wringin’, the Trump White House wants to get the lead flyin’ and the inmates dyin’ in the byzantine federal execution method “any day” now.
One proposal has raced through the process with little notice but unusual speed — and deadly consequences. This rule could reintroduce firing squads and electrocutions for federal executions, giving the government more options for administering capital punishment as drugs used in lethal injections become unavailable. The Justice Department surfaced the proposal in August and accepted public comments for only 30 days, instead of the usual 60. The rule cleared White House review on Nov. 6, meaning it could be finalized any day. The Justice Department didn’t respond to a request for comment.
Yep, and why would they respond to requests for comments from Lilly-livered pea-brains over at the Lyin’ Press? Folks, this brilliant, new idea to fully embrace the barbarity required by 21st Century leadership is just one of many shining beacons of governance that Donald Trump is ram-roddin’ through in the final, bunker-sulking days of his successful, definitely-not-ending-anytime soon presidency, before he leaves the White House soon.
Trump’s not gonna just hide in the bunker until he gets re-inaugurated on January 20th, barring any reality creeping into my, or his, Kool-Aid addled delusions. He’s got the ball rolling on all sorts of goodies that even the Pro-Publica Lib-o-crats admit are good for the country because they, “could lead to more worker injuries and make it harder to stop germs like salmonella.” Not to mention, per ProPublica, the new rules are going to help Trump solidify his historic* support from the LGBTQ community by blocking transgender individuals from federally funded homeless shelters.
Now, patriots, I know some of you are worried that this last-second ram-rodding of a full second-term-worth of harm, mismanagement and discrimination might mean that Donald J(esus) Trump doesn’t plan on sticking around for another four years. Don’t worry. The Trump Legal Dream Team’s “Stop The Steal 2020 Kraken Releasing And Head Leaking Four Seasons Landscaping Lie-stravaganza” is still in biblical* form.
Trump Team Leagle Eagle Jenna Ellis had some truth-bombs for the Scum-o-crats today, when she quoted noted khaki-wearer (and possibly guy-famous-for-something-else) Teddy Roosevelt, and just because some NERDS ON TWITTER pointed out that Teddy Roosevelt didn’t say the quote she quoted, that didn’t make it any less true.
Then, like any good guardian of the God’s honest truth, when confronted with her truthful lie, she explained why her lie was actually the truth.
Trumped, libs! Feel the Trump®!
He didn’t say it, but it’s true. Therefore, he said it. How do you like them apples, commies?
But, Ellis heroic annihilation of history was to be outdone by another Trump Leagle Eagle, Rudolph (The-Black-Head-Goo-Leaking-Reindeer) Giuliani, who headed to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania a day after Joe Biden began his “transition” to “president.” Like the Confederates of old, Rudy took to the political battlefield in Gettysburg to declare victory in his fight against tyranny–if by “declare victory in his fight against tyranny,” you mean “declare himself victorious in his fight against leaking, black head-goo.” Like the great generals who fought against democracy back in the Civil War, Rudy fought his fight against numbers and math from a Wyndham hotel ballroom, (I did not fact check that claim, because I feel its truth in my bones) where he participated in a “hearing.” I’m only putting quotes around “hearing” because it was not, in any way, an actual hearing.
Instead, like all great moments in governance, it was a fact-free airing of grievances by a never-ending train of mindless political stooges and bootlickers. Or, as we Republicans call them, representatives of the people.
Of course, even Rudy’s heroic fealty to un-democracy was quickly Trumped, when the most heroic mindless political stooge of our time took the stage to heroically literally phone-in his efforts to overthrow democracy to the applause of his loyal and trusted sycophants.
The remarks from the president came virtually, as Trump campaign attorney Jenna Ellis — seated beside Giuliani in a Wyndham hotel ballroom — raised her phone to the microphone at their witness table, allowing Trump to participate in the hearing from the Oval Office.
“I really appreciate being asked to speak,” Trump said, going on to falsely state that he had “easily” won a second term, that the White House race was “rigged,” and that the election’s outcome “has to be turned around.”
And so, as real patriots all across America prepared to SUPERSPREAD this Thanksgiving like never before–you know, because TRUMP, that’s why–all was well in the land of delusion called Trumpworld. The fevered fools who all of us PATRIOTS in the GOP blindly prop up because they’re not Dem-o-RATS remained firmly in control of America’s immediate, bleakly awesome future. The firing squads cleaned their muskets, the chicken factories readied the tainted salmonella meat for expeditious shipment to supermarkets around this great land, and the president’s lawyers slept soundly in their suites at the Wyndam Hotel in Gettysburg, PA, one of them preparing to tweet more misattributed quotes, the other wiping the black bile leaking from his silky smooth pate.
And in Washington, beneath the warm glow of his iPhone, the leader of the free world had one last batshit crazy message for his cult, which he delivered via retweet.
That, of course, is the president endorsing a wildly false, conspiratorial, and, I assume, TRUTHFUL claim from something called “The Marshall Report,” which posits that Trump lawyer Sidney Powell’s claim that she would release a “Kraken” of evidence regarding Trump’s election fraud claims wasn’t actually referring to any “evidence,” but instead, was code for a secret U.S. government cyber-warfare program which “[t]racks [s]ystems and a[c]quires evidence of nefarious activities and crimes committed by The Deep State.” That is, of course, the very same Deep State that has “rigged” elections for “at least the last twenty years, and probably longer,” and is comprised, according to the article retweeted by the president, of “wicked globalist puppets who are boldly pushing their coup to destroy America and impl[e]ment a global reset and usher in United Nations Agenda 2030 which is the revised version of sustainable development Agenda 21.” Obviously, according to the VERY TRUTHFUL article retweeted by the president (which you know is true because of how many spelling errors it has), these Deep Staters are attempting “the overthrow of the United States Government.”
And, sure, all the NERDS in the MSM will point out that the TRUTH SEEKER who has apparently uncovered this massive and improbable conspiracy misspelled “Kraken” in the first sentence of the article, seen here.
But let me just point out this: there’s another great American truth-teller who can’t spell worth shit…
Donald J(Jesus Christ) Trump.
SUCK IT, LIB!
And then, Trump pardoned his guilty-pleading former National Security Advisor…
President Donald Trump pardoned former national security adviser Michael Flynn on Wednesday despite Flynn’s guilty plea to lying to the FBI about his Russia contacts.
The pardon, coming in the waning days of the Trump administration, takes direct aim at a Russia investigation that he has long insisted was motivated by political bias.
“It is my Great Honor to announce that General Michael T. Flynn has been granted a Full Pardon,” Trump tweeted. “Congratulations to @GenFlynn and his wonderful family, I know you will now have a truly fantastic Thanksgiving!”
Happy Thanksgiving, America!
Follow SheepleNumber1 on Twitter here for more TRUTH NOT FACTS.
This post is parody. I now have to say that because everything is… well…
Stupid Dem-o-RATS just don’t get it. And they never will, because they hate America so much they would never even have the brass testes to stage a coup d’état just to keep a legally elected President in power.
So let them falsely claim Sleepy Joe Biden won, just because he got more votes. Stand fast, patriots! Keep plotting to kidnap governors, keep up the gun-toting rallies to stop the “steal,” aka, the 2020 election, and most important, keep undermining Democracy because IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE AMERICA FROM THE COMMIES, AKA THE DEMOCRATS, AKA THE PEOPLE WHO HATE FREEDOM.
No, I’m not screaming. YOU’RE SCREAMING.
I’m perfectly calm, composed, cool and confident, just like President Donald J(ust playing everything cool, because I totally believe I won this thing) Trump, who calmly and collectedly retweeted this from foremost calm, sane American Randy Quaid today…
Things are NoRmAl. I’m not crazy. You’re CrAzY fOr EvEn ThInKiNg ThInGs MiGhT bE a LiTtLe CrAzY.
*rainbow strobe light*
*hissing snake noise*
The liberal elites in their ivory towers mock and malign us TRUTH LOVERS because they lack the BRAIN POWER to understand the TRUTH hidden behind the FACTS. Donald Trump WON the 2020 presidential election and it’s not the GOP’s fault that the brainwashed sheeple of the HELL-HOLE currently called America, which Donald Trump saved before Joe Biden destroyed it by not yet becoming president, don’t get it.
The SIMPLE FACT is that the Communist leader of Venezuela, who died in 2013, directed the creation of a secret computerized voting system that flipped votes from Donald Trump to Joe Biden to help Sleepy Joe win the 2020 election. Us TRUMPETERS know the truth.
No, really. That’s literally the current position of the actual lawyers of the president of the United States.
“The Dominion Voting Systems, the Smartmatic technology software, and the software that goes in other computerized voting systems here as well, not just Dominion, were created in Venezuela at the direction of Hugo Chavez to make sure he never lost an election after one constitutional referendum came out the way he did not want it to come out . . . One of (the software’s) most characteristic features is its ability to flip votes. It can set and run an algorithm that probably ran all over the country to take a certain percentage of votes from President Trump and flip them to President Biden.”Sidney Powell, Trump Lawyer
And that position is BRILLIANTLY ACCURATE, as attested to by the most honest man in America, the president…
Which brings us to the second most honest man in America, the president’s other, ghoulishly handsome lawyer, Rudolph (The Black Goo-Leaking Reindeer) Giuliani, who was unjustifiably mocked just because he appeared on national television to make baseless accusations of wild election conspiracy theories, er, I mean, PERFECTLY TRUTHFUL STATEMENTS, that have not even a shred of evidence to support them, er, I mean, HAVE YET TO BE PROVEN, all while leaking a teeny, tiny little bit of barely noticeable black, living-corpse-esque head goo.
This is who the INTOLERANT LEFT is, patriots.
They mock what they cannot silence.
They judge men not by the color of their skin, but by the contents of the sewage-like black liquids inexplicably seeping from their wrinkled heads while they spout babbling nonsense that seems to have little practical purpose other than to undermine the government of the great country that we MUST SUSPEND DEMOCRATIC RULE IN TO STOP SOCIALIST, SLEEPY JOE BIDEN from taking over and destroying everything.
We must never give up this fight! We must go “BIBLICAL” as Donald Trump’s “lawyer” Sidney Powell has called for.
And before all the Scum-o-crats say, “Oh, why are you calling for violence? That’s so irresponsible!” Let me just clarify, these calls for violence are not calling for violence. We’re simply asking patriots to stand up, as the founders did, and do whatever’s necessary, by non-violent resistance, but also whatever is necessary, and yes, that may include armed bands of AR-15 wielding white supremacists surrounding government buildings and plotting to kidnap duly-elected governors in the name of Trump, but we ARE NOT, and I can’t stress this enough, WE ARE NOT CALLING FOR VIOLENCE.
Just, whatever’s necessary… like the founders… who fought a war for independence.
ThIs IsN’t CoMpLiCaTeD.
Donald Trump didn’t win more votes, but he won the election. We’re not saying we have proof, but we know it’s true, and we can prove it. But we won’t. And maybe we can’t. But if we could, then we could.
The president wants you to wear a mask and take this virus seriously, but the virus is also a hoax and the democrats made it up. But we’re not saying that. But we would, if we did, because it’s true. You should definitely wear a mask if you don’t want to die, but we’re not telling you to wear a mask, because you don’t need to. Because freedom.
The president’s lawyer, Sidney Powell, who thinks the seven-years-dead leader of Venezuela trained poll workers in Detroit and Philadelphia to use election hacking software to flip votes from Trump to Biden, is part of his “truly great team” of “lawyers.”
And Sidney Powell, after her claims about Hugo Chavez, is also, according to Trump, “not a member of the Trump legal team,” and “not a lawyer for the president.”
Up is down. Left is right. Good is bad. And that’s just the way we like it, libs. We’re making things great again, and if you don’t get that, maybe you don’t have enough black, toxic goo seeping out of your heads!
Yes! When is somebody FINALLY going to apologize to the guy who attacked a gold star family, said John McCain’s not a war hero, mocked the disabled, spread lies about his opponent’s health, said Ted Cruz’s father killed JFK, threatened to bring back internment camps, falsely claimed Muslims were celebrating on 9/11, called Mexicans rapists, pretended he didn’t know who David Duke was, and falsely accused the previous President of the United States of being born in Kenya and having a fake birth certificate, and never apologized for any of it?
When does Donald Trump get an apology? COME ON LIBS!
Stupid dems don’t get it. The facts about President Trump being viciously spread by lying sources in the FBI are a WITCH HUNT.
“Hold my beer.”
– Sen. Joseph McCarthy
PRESIDENT TRUMP isn’t going to allow “news” attributed to “sources” to be used against him.
He knows that fake news is at an all time high according to something or other, or possibly what many people are saying.
So he’s fighting back with his own FACTS.
It’s a witch hunt because he is being investigated. Get it yet you stupid fake news media fact peddlers?
TRUMP just dropped a HYDROGEN TRUTH BOMB on your FAKE news reporting that he is being investigated.
HE CONFIRMED THAT HE IS BEING INVESTIGATED.
THEREFORE YOU ARE WRONG.
WHAT’S SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT?
Not only that, he totally grabbed the fake news narrative by the pussy and disputed the CONFIRMED FACT that the investigation is being headed by Special Counsel Robert Muller, and instead correctly incorrectly implied Deputy AG Rod Rosenstein is investigating him.
And on top of that, Trump correctly falsely claimed Rod Rosenstein didn’t tell him to fire the FBI Director.
THREE STRIKES AND YOU’RE OUT, DEMS!
But Trump was just getting Trumped-up, because here came another TRUTH-MOAB on all the haters and losers…
…followed by a TRUMP-A-HAWK missile strike….
The “Lyin’ Teds” at the FNM (Fake News Media) thought they were getting a witch hunt. Trump turned it into a BITCH HUNT with some BIG LEAGUE BIGLYS against CROOKED H.
Why start acting presidential when you can continuously blame all your problems on the person who you defeated in the presidential election by negative 3 million illegal votes?
That’s the kind of thinking outside the box that led to Trump Vodka, Trump University, Trump Airlines, and Trump steaks, and the Trump Presidency, all of which Donald Trump correctly falsely assures us are terrific.
Nothing more sane than Trump.
But not only did he take credit for those steaks that weren’t made by his company, he also took credit for Obama’s jobs… LIKE A BOSS!
Everything is going great in America, and all that the MURDEROUS, RAPING MEDIA want to talk about is the PHONY FBI INVESTIGATION into why most of the people involved in the TRUMP campaign lied and covered up their communications with the country that hacked into the election to help Donald Trump.
They are so SICK and SO SAD.
Even Donald Trump can’t believe how incompetent they are.
How can they not have found the proof yet? It’s so obvious! Sad!