Over the weekend, STUPID LEFTISTS once again thought they’d caught RIGHTEOUS MAN OF GOD Donald Trump red-handed in a crime–just like when they thought they’d caught TRUMP red-handed in a crime when they caught him trying to use his influence to pressure a foreign leader to produce dirt on Trump’s political opponents, or when they caught Trump trying to end Democratic elections in the U.S., or when they caught Trump siphoning taxpayer money to his businesses through corrupt means, or when they caught him doing any of the dozens of other crimes I don’t acknowledge he committed–but ONCE AGAIN, the STUPID LEFTISTS were WRONG.
Because while TRUMP may have CRIMED, the LEFTISTS MUST DO THE TIME! Because the real CRIME is revealing TRUMP’S CRIME!
Here’s what The Washington Post reported about Trump, which caused all the STUPID LEFTISTS to scream, “CRIME! CRIME! TRUMP CRIME!”
President Trump urged fellow Republican Brad Raffensperger, the Georgia secretary of state, to “find” enough votes to overturn his defeat in an extraordinary one-hour phone call Saturday that legal scholars described as a flagrant abuse of power and a potential criminal act.
The Washington Post obtained a recording of the conversation in which Trump alternately berated Raffensperger, tried to flatter him, begged him to act and threatened him with vague criminal consequences if the secretary of state refused to pursue his false claims, at one point warning that Raffensperger was taking “a big risk.”The FAKE Bezos Post
DISGUSTING! ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!
And I suppose now, I must clarify FOR ALL STUPID LEFTISTS that what I find disgusting is NOT the fact that President Trump pressured an election official to fraudulently state that Trump won an election that the numbers say he lost. NO! That’s just called PATRIOTISM! What I am absolutely disgusted by is the SICK, DISGUSTING, LEFTIST LEAK of this audio recording of Trump committing a crime. How are we supposed to Make America Great Again if the man who’s going to do that is being revealed to be nothing more than a common criminal mob-boss-lite who uses intimidation and threats to pressure subordinates into subservience? PATRIOTS, WE MUST SUPPRESS!
Like the Russia Investigation, the REAL CRIME isn’t the CRIME OF TRUMP; it’s the CRIME of whistleblowing on Trump’s clear crimes!
And I’m not just some NUTTY, RIGHT-WING NUTJOB spewing baseless claims to defend my delusion support of an anti-American autocrat. I am WELL WITHIN THE MAINSTREAM of REPUBLICAN thought with my stance that the only CRIME is punishing CRIME! Just ask Republican Senator and Senate Candidate David Perdue of Georgia, which Trump won so he is now trying to fake the election results in to show that he won.
“I’m still shocked that a member of the Republican Party would tape a sitting president and then leak that. That’s disgusting in my view. But what the president said is exactly what he’s been saying the last few months and that is that . . . we’ve had some irregularities in the election in November, and he wants some answers. He has not gotten them yet from our Secretary of State. That’s one reason why I asked for him to resign. We haven’t gotten it from our state legislature because there’s been no special session called, and then he went to court, the president went to court, and then I went to court, and the courts have denied us hearings saying it’s more of a legislative issue. So what the president’s said in this tape today is no different than what he’s been saying for the last two months.”Sen. David Perdue (R-GA)
And what he’s been saying is that, like DEMOCRACY and HEALTH, ELECTIONS are overrated!
David Perdue must be re-elected, PATRIOTS! GET OUT AND VOTE! We must vote in the FAKE, RIGGED ELECTION in Georgia, which is run by a LEFTIST Secretary of State who voted for, and still supports Donald Trump. We must do it to win Republican seats in the Senate, even though Republicans can’t win because elections are rigged against us. Get it yet?
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PATRIOTS, for nine months, Americans have been suffering, struggling to pay rent, pay for food, and pay for pretty much anything that isn’t free. But fear not, AMERICAN SUBJECTS, because heroic Republicans are here to help (finally)! After nine months of blocking passage of a Democratic bill that would have offered much-needed relief to suffering Americans, we’ve seen a TRUE GREAT CONJUNCTION, a once-in-800-year-event, and Republican Senators are BACK IN WASHINGTON AGAIN, to vote against much-needed relief!
The COMMUNISTS behind the new WEALTH STEAL BILL want to take $600 out of the JOB CREATOR’S pocket and send it to every long-suffering American whose lives have been upended by Republicans’ pro-pandemic policies, when those Americans have ONLY been suffering for nine months! TALK ABOUT LEFTIST ECONOMIC POLICY! Why don’t we just take some of that money that should go to the rich and give it to the poor? I mean (laughs nervously while waiting for everyone to agree with me). . . it’s just. . . so ridiculous.
Six Republican Senate PATRIOTS knew that this LIBERAL LEFTIST HANDOUT crafted by Republican Leader Mitch McConnell was far too generous to WELFARE QUEENS like the 20% of American adults who can’t afford to feed their children. So those CONSERVATIVE HEROES, who have heroically supported President Trump’s 4-year struggle to reach RECORD deficit levels–Senators Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee, Ted Cruz of Texas, Ron Johnson of Wisconsin, Mike Lee of Utah, Rand Paul of Kentucky and Rick Scott of Florida–voted “HELL NO” on this OVERLY-GENEROUS, LEFTIST handout of $600 to every American.
SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS?! That’s a whopping $20 for every week of suffering since the first CARES Act was signed by President T on March 27! Why don’t we just give every American healthcare while we’re at it? Why don’t we just give everyone the Taj Mahal for CHRISTmas?
If these WELFARE QUEENS can’t live on $20 a week, maybe they need to get a job as a Wall Street Executive so they can learn something about FINANCE!
Unfortunately, Patriots, the bill passed the Senate 92 to 6, and so now, it’s up to PRESIDENT Donald Trump to stop it with a veto! Something he doesn’t seem to want to do, but just give it some time, because he usually comes through and does what’s worst for the American people. Have faith, PATRIOTS!
Meanwhile, those Republican heroes who opposed the massive $600 COMMIE WAGE, as I call it, stood up to the fact that millions are unable to afford food, by pointing out some TRUE fake lies about the bill! Trump supporters around the internet are pushing the president to VETO the bill based on the ALTERNATIVE FACT that the bill contains billions of dollars for FOREIGN countries like Israel and Egypt, and LIBERAL priorities like the KENNEDY CENTER! And just because that claim wasn’t in any way TRUE, lib-o-crats got IMMEDIATELY TRIGGERED by this attempt to torpedo their $600 GOLDEN GOOSE!
It doesn’t matter if my opposition is real or not, if this bill is going to give even a sliver of financial help to Americans while Donald J(ust trying to kill every American citizen) Trump is still MY PRESIDENT, he MUST VETO!!!!!!
GET ON THE TRUMP TRAIN, PATRIOTS, and OPPOSE THAT MEASLEY $600 CHECK. Let’s get a BIGGER STIMULUS check, just like the one MY PRESIDENT Donald Trump opposed in July along with the more generous COVID relief bill that would have included things like, oh, let’s see, more generous unemployment benefits for struggling Americans. Wait, I’m confused. . . what exactly do I stand for as a REAL PATRIOT? I’m against the $600 check, but I’m also against the more generous bill because PRESIDENT T opposed it, but he agreed with the Republicans who I’m also against because they supported the $600 bill. My head hurts!
As a PATRIOT, what the f*** do I support?
Oh, I think I figured it out!
We will not be satisfied until we get what we really want: NOTHING. NOTHING OR NOTHING, LIBS! Your choice.
Meanwhile, let’s make sure we, as TRUE REPUBLICAN PATRIOTS keep CONSERVATIVE politicians in office. People like Republican Senator Joni Ernst of Iowa, who claimed a few months ago that the EVIL doctors and nurses risking their lives at hospitals were FALSIFYING death certificates in order to inflate COVID statistics! Yesterday, Sen. Ernst did what any good PATRIOT would do and jumped ahead of those healthcare workers in the line to get the life-saving vaccine for the virus she helped spread through false conspiracy theories! If those aren’t REPUBLICAN VALUES, I don’t know what are!
Also getting the REAL VACCINE to the FAKE HOAX VIRUS they helped PATRIOTICALLY SPREAD were heroes like Lindsey Graham, and Marco Rubio, who isn’t even old enough to fall into a high-risk category but HEROICALLY TOOK ONE FOR THE TEAM and got the life-saving vaccine so one of those EVIL, LYING FIRST RESPONDERS could learn about HARD WORK, RESPONSIBILITY, and pulling their immune system up by its own bootstraps, or something. I don’t know!
The point is, the THIN RED LINE of Republicans in Congress is the only thing stopping America from becoming a real “shithole” country! Right?
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PATRIOTS, as a proud American who’s been run out of more than two dozen communities in my lifetime, I know from experience that when your neighbors don’t want you around anymore, IT IS ALWAYS THEIR FAULT, NOT YOURS! AND IT’S USUALLY BECAUSE THEY’RE STUPID, INTOLERANT LEFTIST-SCUM WHO NEED TO BE ROUNDED UP AND SHOT! I’M LOOKING AT YOU, GARY! I’LL TOLERATE YOU! WITH MY HACKSAW! Anyway, that’s why I am standing by MY PRESIDENT even as the residents of Mar-a-Lago, the private club in Florida that Trump owns, are telling the president that he can’t live there after he leaves the White House… in 2024, I assume.
The FAKE BEZOS Washington Post reports that Trump is leaving the COMMUNIST HELLSCAPE of New York for the AMERICAN PARADISE of Southern Florida, but the LIB-SCUM who Trump allows to live at his private community have told the PRESIDENT to “GET OFF YOUR OWN LAWN!”
In a demand letter, obtained by The Washington Post, an attorney for the Mar-a-Lago neighbors says the town should notify Trump that he cannot use Mar-a-Lago as his residence. Making that move would “avoid an embarrassing situation” if the outgoing president moves to the club and later has to be ordered to leave, according to the letter sent on behalf of the neighbors, the DeMoss family, which runs an international missionary foundation.THE FAKE BEZOS WASHINGTON POST
These NO GOOD LIBS who are SQUATTING at Trump’s private residence for just $200,000 want to run the president out of their LEFTIST TRASH-CLUB all because of some little “disruptions, such as clogged traffic and blocked streets, caused by the president’s frequent trips to the club,” according to the FAKE BEZOS POST. They also say that before he was president, “Trump created ill will in the town by refusing to comply with even basic local requirements, such as adhering to height limits for a massive flagpole he installed, and frequently attempting to get out of the promises he had made when he converted Mar-a-Lago into a private club.”
Basic local requirements? Sounds too complicated, Bezos Post, ya’ LIB SACK-O-SHIT!
Oh, and there’s the small, LIBERALLY-BIASED fact that Trump using Mar-a-Lago as a private home and a club could be totally illegal, because in 1993, when Trump was in bankruptcy–I mean, “succeeding” bigly–he cut a deal with the town that said club members couldn’t spend more than 21 days per year in the guest suites there and couldn’t stay there for more than seven consecutive days. And, one more little matter: an attorney for Trump assured the town that Trump WOULD not live at Mar-a-Lago. So, um… yeah. I don’t know how to spin that… But, WHATEVER, YOU STUPID LEFTISTS! GET OVER IT! TRUMP WON (lost)!
A LEFTIST (probably) HOMEOWNER in nearby Palm Beach told the BEZOS FAKE POST, “There’s absolutely no legal theory under which he can use that property as both a residence and a club.” REALLY, LIB? Here’s a theory: TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!
(I’d have chanted longer but I’m tired because I just ate a McDonald’s Fillet-o-fish and a chocolate milkshake, or as I call it, “a good start to my presidential breakfast.”)
But, there’s another way to look at this story: A HUGE WIN FOR THE GREATEST DEALMAKER IN AMERICAN HISTORY! That’s right. SUCK ON THAT, LIBS! No one has ever out-negotiated the negotiator-in-chief. . . until now. And that great negotiator who beat Trump? Surprise! It was Trump! It was the greatest deal Trump ever made, in fact, because he beat the best negotiator in history: Trump!
And this deal was AIR-TIGHT because in addition to promising the town he’d never live at Mar-a-lago in that 1993 deal, Trump also made another GREAT DEAL! This time, in a deal with the National Trust for Historic Preservation…
Trump agreed to “forever” relinquish his rights to develop Mar-a-Lago or to use it for “any purpose other than club use.”FAKE BEZOS POST
Sheeple, I don’t often admit I was wrong, but in this case, I have to swallow my pride and admit Trump isn’t THE GREATEST NEGOTIATOR IN HISTORY.
TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! NEVER ADMIT DEFEAT! NEVER ADMIT REALITY! EMBRACE THE DELUSION, BABY!
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Sheeple, few Americans command the respect and dignity of anti-white guilt crusader and “Thug Basketball Association” promoter Rush Limbaugh. When RUSH says something, you know it’s not just some knee-jerk, willy-nilly spew designed to inflame tensions and divide America. RUSH doesn’t just RUSH to judgement. His words are reasoned, thought out and long-deliberated. Which makes today’s PRONOUNCEMENT from the self-proclaimed “America’s Anchorman” especially important.
“America’s Anchorman” is through with America! It’s time for the Trump-nited States of Trumpica to secede because more than half of America just isn’t AMERICAN enough!
“I actually think that we’re trending toward secession. I see more and more people asking what in the world do we have in common with the people who live in, say, New York? What is there that makes us believe that there is enough of us there to even have a chance at winning New York? Especially if you’re talking about votes… There cannot be a peaceful coexistence of two completely different theories of life, theories of government, theories of how we manage our affairs. We can’t be in this dire a conflict without something giving somewhere along the way.““America’s Anchorman” Rush Limbaugh
Did the Federalists and the Anti-Federalists who formed the Constitution say, “Sorry we just can’t get along, so let’s make two countries?” YES, PATRIOTS! THE ANSWER IS YES! And now the time has come for another CIVIL WAR! The TRUMP states will rise again!
We gave democracy a chance, patriots, but democracy just didn’t do enough to block the will of the people and turn over all power in the United States to an ignorant, vengeful, sociopathic, serial-lying reality TV buffoon with no knowledge about our country’s government and no desire to learn (who is also a former Democrat), so it’s time to retire that quaint, old idea about VOTERS having power in this country and use the same tool to DEFEND THE PATRIOTIC TRUMP MONARCHY that the Confederacy used to defend the PATRIOTIC FREEDOM OF OWNING SLAVES. Secession! (Maybe we can even bring slavery back.)
And Rush LimBALL(S OF BRASS) doesn’t let LYIN’ FACTS, like the fact that Trump states take way more money from the federal government than they pay in taxes, stand in the way of his brilliant idea of SECESSION, either, because RUSH, LIKE ALL TRUE PATRIOTS, doesn’t care about the suffering of his supporters. Studies have shown if you’re poor, you’re either lazy or black. Probably both. FACT. Every Conservative commentator knows this!
Rush isn’t the only PRESIDENTIAL MEDAL WINNER to give up on lame, old American Democracy and embrace their inner CONSERVATIVE FASCISM. Former on-screen Secretary Of Defense Jon Voight is also tossing his lot in with the CIVIL WARRIORS. Just a couple days ago he took to social media to “ask all to fight this battle now, to get them all out.” “Them,” of course being elected Democratic politicians like SLEEPY CREEPY JOE BIDEN and California Governor Gavin Newsom. They’re “evil,” as totally-sane Jon Voight calls them.
Rush Limbaugh and Jon Voight think that the democratic process removing a fascist president from power is the final death knell for the American experiment, and flag-waving Republican PATRIOTS all across America are with them. They’re calling for violence to overthrow our new, not-yet-installed (not)Communist government. Just this week, the Arizona Republican Party took to Twitter to ask Americans if they’re “willing to give [their] life for this fight” to steal the election for Trump. Then, they posted a clip from the classic PRO-VIETNAM WAR movie “Rambo” that highlighted the quote, “This is what we do, who we are. Live for nothing, or die for something.”
Patriots, the seeds of VIOLENCE FOR TRUMP are being sown by GOOD REPUBLICANS all across the country that we both love and want to destroy if it moves even slightly toward moderate policies that don’t SHOWER THE HOLY RICH WITH EXORBITANT AMOUNTS OF FREE MONEY and SUBJUGATE LAZY MINORITIES.
Rush Limbaugh, Jon Voight, King Trump’s legal team, and many unhinged Republican officials across this country are willing to stand behind this PATRIOTIC MOVEMENT TO DESTROY AMERICA. They just need good, MINDLESS TRUMP SUPPORTERS LIKE YOU TO STAND AT THE FRONT OF IT AND “DIE” SO THAT THEY CAN KEEP GETTING RICHER ON THE BACKS OF YOUR SUFFERING!
DO YOUR PATRIOTIC DUTY!
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1. Rick Perry is still in this race….
Oh, wait that was Ted Cruz. This is Rick Perry…
See how different they are?
Some people like to say all Republican presidential candidates are the same–that they have the same ideas–but I disagree. They are like 15 snowflakes, each one unique and perfect.
For example, yes, they all hate immigrants, but they each do it in a unique and individual way. Donald Trump says, “WE NEED TO GET RID OF ALL THE MEXICANS!!!” Ben Carson says, “We need to get rid of all the Mexicans.”
Trump says “OBAMA IS NEVILLE CHAMBERLAIN!!!” Ted Cruz says, “Obama is Hitler.” Ben Carson says, “Obama is Muslim.”
Trump says, “GET RID OF THE GOVERNMENT.” Rand Paul says, “Get rid of the government” with pubes on his head. Carson says, “Throw rocks and hammers and bricks at the government… to get rid of it.” Ted Cruz says, “Get rid of something, but I can’t remember what it is.”
Totally. Different. Ideas.
2. Eisenhower is making a comeback!!!
As liberal rag MotherJones.com explains…
Donald Trump was asked about immigration at tonight’s debate and answered with some ramble about Eisenhower or something.
Anyway, here’s what happened on Google:
Congratulations, Eisenhower on officially getting more interest from 2016 Republican primary voters than Jim Gilmore, George Pataki, and Bobby Jindal combined, during your one minute of interest.
Also, congratulations America, for apparently not knowing who Dwight Eisenhower was.
It’s no secret that lazy, good for nothing Communists want “wages” and “salaries.” Well, at tonight’s Republican debate, Billionaire Donald Trump, the man who is funding his own multi-million dollar campaign for president, told it like it is.
YOUR WAGES ARE TOO HIGH, YOU LOW F#@%ING ENERGY, PATHOLOGICALLY DISEASED, WEAK, STUPID LOSER!!!
Here’s what Donald Trump said.
And, not to be out gaffed, Ben Carson IMMEDIATELY followed with this…
So, in other words, eat your experience poor people!
Also, WTF was that map?
Take as long as you like. It doesn’t get any clearer.
And, because I know you dirty liberal communists are about to ask, YES THE WAGES ARE TOO HIGH, and NO, THE RENT IS NOT TOO DAMN HIGH!!!
4. To sum up…
In other words, Hate Debate Milwaukee! November 2015 edition! is best summed up thusly…
This story has been updated below to reflect an awesome parody song.
The Supreme Court’s hideously disgusting “ruling” on the landmark Obamacare case King v. Burwell today will not be referenced on this website.
This is a place of FREEDOM. This is a family website where so-called “facts” about disgusting verbal spew like the “fact” that Obamacare is now “legal” will not be allowed to tarnish the proud name of TruthMissiles.com. (And before you say that a “family website” wouldn’t have an article titled like this one, let me point out that I censored the word “Ass” in “Ass Rape” so children are perfectly safe. They have no idea what kind of rape it is. It could be a perfectly legitimate rape.)
Listen. Today is the greatest day in the history of days. It LITERALLY TRUMPS all the other days.
Today DONALD TRUMP announced that he is giving the American people the honor of having DONALD TRUMP run for President of the United States.
And TRUMP made the announcement in the most TRUMP-TASTIC of ways: a bombastic, rambling, over-the-top, hilarious, combative, inflammatory, six-hour-long, hate-f#@% of a speech at TRUMP Tower in New York City.
Due to snow in Buffalo, our usual Sunday column, “NFL: REAGANS AND OBAMAS” will be posted tomorrow. Continue reading
America is the GREATEST, FREEST, most PROSPEROUS NATION that GOD ever put on this EARTH.
But AMERICANS are very stupid.
Former IRS head and lowest form of degenerate human scum Lois Lerner has finally come out of hiding. Continue reading