Category: president

LYIN’ TED CRUZ SAVES Texas From Icy HELLSTORM By Fleeing To CANCUN For VACATION!!! Suffering IGNORED, LIBS!!!

Image result for ted cruz airport
Lyin’ Ted went undercover at the airport! SICK LIBS would never suspect a MASKED man of being a REPUBLICAN PATRIOT!

PATRIOTS, the old saying goes, “Screw you! We’re from Texas!” Well, NUMBER ONE PATRIOT LYIN’ TED CRUZ might have just come up with a better saying: “Screw you, Texas! I’m going to Mexico!” With millions of residents in his state suffering under dangerous freezing conditions, blackouts, no heat, and lack of potable water, this LYIN’ of the Senate did what any TRUE TRUMPIAN HERO would have done! He got the f*** out of there!

Ted flew off to SAFETY in the country he HATES the most, Mexico! Cancun to be exact! And he left his LOSER and SUCKER constituents to take care of themselves, because, like one CONSERVATIVE MAYOR in Ted’s state RIGHTLY scolded the suffering recently, “If you were sitting at home in the cold because you have no power and are sitting there waiting for someone to come rescue you because your lazy is direct result of your raising!”

Smart and literate!

Luckily, the former president’s border wall to keep the drug dealers and “rapists” out of Texas didn’t stop Lyin’s jet from making it to safety on the other side of it. IN MEXICO!

I’M NOT COGNITIVELY DISSONANT! YOU ARE, LIB!

LIBERALS WERE ALL OVER THE STORY of Lyin’ Ted’s HEROIC flee, which was first reported by notable LIB RAG, Fox News!

But, PATRIOTS, just because this ACT OF VALOR by Lyin’ Ted makes him look like the most callous, insensitive jerk who ever served in Congress, which is really saying something, THE LIBS ARE STILL MISSING THE POINT! What was Lyin’ supposed to do?!?! Help?

Puh-lease, libs! Nobody’s helping. Except Beto O’Rourke, that Democratic LOSER who LOST his senate bid against Lyin’ Ted, yet still helps suffering people in his state, LIKE A SUCKER! LIB! SHAME! LIB!

Hey, BEEE-TO, nobody needs help here! We’re just fine! In fact, we’re just fine without power or potable water! At least, that’s what Former Governor Rick Perry says, and he KNOWS ALMOST NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING, so he probably KNOWS A LOT about the opinions of his suffering and freezing former constituents.

“Texans would be without electricity for longer than three days to keep the federal government out of their business… Try not to let whatever the crisis of the day is take your eye off of having a resilient grid…”

Former Texas Governor Rick Perry

Which Texas doesn’t have because… communism, I guess?

Things are going SO GOOD in Cruz’s home state of TEXAS that people aren’t even worried about not having electricity anymore (because they don’t have water now, either).

Scores of Texans were under notice to boil tap water before drinking it after days of record low temperatures damaged infrastructure, caused blackouts and froze water pipes.

FAKE NEWS NBC (NOTHING BUT CRAP) News

LIBS just don’t get it. While they’re suffering UNDER SOCIALIST, LIB-O-CRATIC leadership in their big city, ivory towers with their… heat… and drinking water, they don’t understand the JOYS OF REAL FREEDOM. Freedom to SUFFER AND DIE FOR REPUBLICAN CONTROL OF OUR COUNTRY WITHOUT BIG, LIB GUBMINT TELLING ME TO LIVE!

Absolutely NOBODY in Texas needs any HELP from Lyin’ Ted Cruz, anyway. Except the kids in hospitals with no flushing toilets, AKA Scum-o-crats.

[A]t least two hospitals in the Austin metro area were being evacuated on Wednesday night due to a lack of hot water and heat. Matt Largey, an editor at Austin’s NPR station KUT, tweeted out a statement from St. David’s South Austin Medical Center on Wednesday that confirmed that the hospital was in the process of evacuating some of its “just under 300 patients” from the facility after it “lost water pressure today from the City of Austin.” … Minutes later, Largey reported that Dell Children’s Medical Center, a pediatric hospital located in Austin, was also without power. In an accompanying statement from the hospital sent from a source, officials confirmed that “extreme weather conditions” had resulted in the facility experiencing “interruptions in service,” and noted that the toilets there did not currently have “flushing capabilities.”

Gizmodo

Flushing toilets at children’s hospitals are overrated anyway. You gotta teach those kids about FREE MARKET ECONOMICS early, or else they’ll never understand later why they’re being forced to freeze to death without drinking water so their Senators can take a vacation in Mexico–I mean, so capitalism.

The answer to that question, of course, is GUNS. Don’t get it? That’s because you’re a socialist! SOCIALIST!

NOTED CONSERVATIVE CRIMINAL Dinesh D’Souza gets it. WHAT IS LYIN’ TED SUPPOSED TO DO? Flying to Mexico and abandoning his state is actually the MOST HELPFUL thing Lyin’ Ted can do! That’s effective leadership!

Ted Cruz REALLY IS THE BEST! He’s helping more than anyone else, by NOT HELPING AT ALL! It’s called pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps, Texas. Sure, you don’t have drinking water, or heat, or for some, life, but think of all the things you still DO HAVE! Like, GUNS! And…

I can’t think of anything else, but, the important thing is that you remember, you’re suffering so that you can be free! Or, so the owner of the Dallas Cowboys can make money, I guess. SAME THING!

Comstock Resources chief financial officer Roland Burns acknowledged that the company had “hit the jackpot” as it sold gas from its Haynesville Shale wells in East Texas on the spot market for a price between $15 and $179 per cubic feet… “This week is like hitting the jackpot with some of these incredible prices,” Burns said during an earnings call on Wednesday… [Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry] Jones… controls a 73 percent share in Comstock, according to the company’s 2020 proxy statement.

Newsweek

Hey, it might seem bad, Texas, but just remember… guns. No big government LIBS will be able to pry them from your FROZEN hands now!

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RIGGED (But In A Good Way)!!! GOP Senators HEROICALLY Conspire With Defense Lawyers To Acquit Guilty TRUMP Of Obvious Crimes!

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These three smug looking mothers***ers know better than you! They know that GOP JUSTICE ISN’T BLIND!

PATRIOTS, there’s nothing I hate more than a RIGGED SYSTEM! That’s why I supported TRUMP supporters’ PATRIOTIC efforts to overthrow the government and end democracy. Because the system was rigged! The election was rigged against TRUMP! Democrats are trying to impeach TRUMP because they don’t understand that RIGGED THINGS ARE BAD! TRUMP IS GOOD! And that’s why I totally support the GOP’S effort to RIG the impeachment trial FOR TRUMP!

You see, RIGGING is BAD, unless you’re RIGGING FOR TRUMP! That’s just being fair!

So, let us RIG THIS F***ING SYSTEM LIKE IT’S NEVER BEEN RIGGED BEFORE! TO STOP THE STEAL!

TO STEAL THE STOPPING OF THE STEAL!

And 3 Republican Senators are doing their PATRIOTIC AMERICAN part to rig the case of TRUMP v. AMERICA in favor of Trump and against America. These three SENATE HEROES are going to serve as the jurors who will deliver a verdict in this impeachment case, and while many of them did not have precious time to listen to the EVIL, factual arguments made against TRUMP by the prosecution in this case, these IMPARTIAL, PATRIOTIC JURORS did have time for a 70 MINUTE LONG MEETING WITH THE TRUMP DEFENSE LAWYERS to discuss “‘sharing our thoughts’ about their legal strategy,” CNN reports.

Sens. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, Ted Cruz of Texas and Mike Lee of Utah were spotted going into a room in the US Capitol that Trump’s lawyers were using to prepare for their arguments. 

Trump lawyer David Schoen said that the senators were “very friendly guys” who just wanted to make sure they were “familiar with procedure” on the eve of their rebuttal to the House impeachment managers’ presentation.

When asked if it’s appropriate to meet with senators during the trial, Schoen said, “Oh yeah, I think that’s the practice of impeachment.”

“There’s nothing about this thing that has any semblance of due process whatsoever,” he added.

CNN (CLINTON (FAKE) NEWS NETWORK)

Yes, there’s “no semblance of due process whatsoever” in this trial, AND THAT’S JUST HOW REPUBLICANS LIKE IT, because that’s the only way that the president who incited a mob to try to kill the Vice President and Speaker of the House WILL GET AWAY WITH HIS CRIMES!

GOP, WE LOVE CRIMES! And, we also love a jury that will VOLUNTARILY TAMPER WITH ITSELF! Now that’s what I call integrity. These CONSERVATIVE HEROES have so much f***ing integrity that they willingly go on TV and tell the American people that the entire trial of TRUMP is a TOTAL SHAM because the Republican senators on the jury are also HELPING THE DEFENSE strategize on how to get away with its crimes. That’s even more astonishing, because the crime the defense is accused of is LITERALLY TRYING TO MURDER the jury! Dang!

That’s some next level BOOTLICKING!

I hope Trump rewards these ASS-KISSERS with another attempt to incite a riot against them! They deserve it!

And you know it was a PERFECTLY INNOCENT meeting between a guilty defendant’s legal team and the JURORS that they need to help them PATRIOTICALLY RIG the case, because just look how eager Senator Lindsey Graham is to share what was discussed in this perfectly SANE and RIGHT meeting that he participated in with the TRUMP LAWYERS!

Just LOOK AT THE SPEED at which he ran from those questions! EVERYTHING’S ON THE UP AND UP HERE! NOTHING TO SEE!

Now, of course, SOME STUPID LIBS were TRIGGERED by Republican Senators’ total refusal to protect their own branch of government from a violent, anti-democratic attack, but that’s just because LIBS, like all EVIL LEFTISTS are STUPID!

Sorry, LEFTISTS, but you’re STUPID. Does the jury agree?

Image result for ted cruz thumbs up

Case closed, LIBS!

But, just in case that doesn’t sway your little PEA BRAINS, here’s some straight shootin’ from ol’ TEXAS LYIN’ TED! He’s rustlin’ up some facts for FAKE NEWS CNN!

When asked if he’s now comfortable with the Trump team’s legal strategy, Cruz said, “I think the end result of this impeachment trial is crystal clear to everybody.”

“Donald Trump will be acquitted,” he added. “It takes 67 votes to convict him and every person in the Senate chamber understands that there are not the votes to convict, nor should there be.”

(FAKE FALSE STUPID LAME) CNN

“And if there’s one thing that could change anyone’s mind, it’s LITERALLY ANY OF THE EVIDENCE,” Lyin’ Ted (probably) added, “which is why I’m going to go in a room and shove my huge, potato-shaped head right up TRUMP’S ass for the next 70 minutes to make sure I don’t hear any of it.”

THANKS FOR DEFENDING THE CONSTITUTION, LYIN’ TED, LINDSEY GRAHAM, AND MIKE LEE! You three stand for nothing, just the way TRUMP likes it!

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Have You Noticed The My Pillow MAN Is Starting To Sound A TINY Bit TOTALLY INSANE!!!! Weird, right?

“My documentary is called “Absolute Proof.” Proof that I’m A RAVING LUNATIC!!!!” – My Pillow Man Mike Lindell

PATRIOTS, as a PROUD REPUBLICAN and CONSERVATIVE, there’s nothing I’m more committed to than supporting ABSOLUTE, STARK RAVING MAD LUNATICS. You know who I’m talking about, people like Donald Trump, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Jeanine Pirro, and Ol’ Head-leaker, himself, Rudy Giuliani. Until today, I also considered My Pillow founder Mike Lindell part of that ILLUSTRIOUS LIST OF LUNATICS! But, PATRIOTS, I gotta admit, Lindell, is starting to seem a little TOO CRAZY even for me, a committed TRUMP ALLY and STRONG OPPONENT OF REALITY.

I stood by Lindell when he falsely claimed a poisonous plant could magically CURE Covid. I backed him when he tried to convince the president to IMPOSE MARTIAL LAW and seize the U.S. government from the lyin’ LIBERALS who won the election fair and square. Hell, I even supported Lindell when he kept trying to make us all buy his SHITTY PILLOWS! But, in the last few days, it’s starting to seem like Mike Lindell is gone into coo-coo crazy town on the batshit express!

A few days ago, he had to be THROWN OFF THE AIR while on NEWSMAX–NEWSMAX! The same NEWSMAX that allowed a Trump campaign lawyer to claim on its airwaves, unchallenged, that a former Trump official should be executed! Executed! Yes, Mike Lindell was THROWN OFF that NEWSMAX for being TOO CRAZY! Think about that for a second!

Lindell went on NEWSMAX to explain why he was being cancelled by TWITTER, after Twitter suspended his account for posting unhinged and provably false claims about the 2020 election being stolen from TRUMP. This INJUSTICE, as NEWSMAX and ALL CONSERVATIVES rightly understood, was the result of the LEFT’S EVIL AND OVERZEALOUS CANEL CULTURE!!! But, wouldn’t you know it, when Lindell went on NEWSMAX to spout the EXACT SAME CLAIMS that got him “CANCELLED FROM TWITTER,” the people on Conservative NEWSMAX said, “Shit, you know what? This guy is crazy! Like certifiably nuts! We gotta get him off our air before we get sued! We gotta CANCEL HIM!!!”

NEWSMAX anchor Bob Sellers literally walked the off set of his own show while Mike Lindell was talking! Think about how crazy the shit you are saying has to be in order to make a NEWSMAX anchor walk off the set of his own, in-progress show, because he’s SO AFRAID of being associated with the demented insanity that you are spewing! Imagine that! That’s where Mike Lindell is right now on the CRAZY SCALE!!! TOO CRAZY to speak on Newsmax!

He said, “Bye-bye pillow!”

But, that wasn’t the CRAZIEST THING Mike Lindell did this week. NOT BY A LONG SHOT!

On Friday morning, Lindell appeared in a three-hour “documentary” that he made, which aired on the OTHER wildly, irresponsible, Trump-supporting channel, One America News Network! The OANN special, which OANN DID NOT create and REFUSED to be associated with, (besides, I guess allowing Lindell to buy out time on its airwaves to show it) purported to expose the “Absolute Proof” that Donald Trump actually won the 2020 election. “Absolute Proof” was even the name of Lindell’s special, which you won’t be surprised to read, contained no proof, and not even conjecture, but was merely three hours of Mike Lindell ranting and raving in his pillow-hocking voice about things that are both PROVABLY FALSE and TOTALLY INSANE. The only thing this special was “Absolute Proof” of, was that Mike Lindell’s CRAZY could power a small city!

Like all ABSOLUTE PROOFS of Donald Trump’s victory, it starts with a 1:31 long DISCLAIMER about how the claims about to be made by “Michael James Lindell” are SO CRAZY, that even ONE AMERICA NEWS NETWORK, the blindly-Trump-supporting channel that EMPLOYS AN ACTUAL KREMLIN PROPAGANDIST, DISAVOWS ALL OF THESE WILD CLAIMS, and that “the… claims expressed in this program… are not intended to be taken or interpreted by the viewer as established facts.” READ THAT AGAIN SO YOU UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT IT’S SAYING, because that’s a pretty bold claim for a channel that calls itself a “News Network.”

OANN makes clear that it’s airing this special purely for profit, but knows it’s total bullshit, and would really like to not be named in any of the billions of dollars of lawsuits that are being filed against conservative media by the voting companies that they’ve been lying about.

So it’s, you know, NEWS!

Lindell He

And LINDELL’S claims that followed that AMAZING DISCLAIMER certainly lived up to their billing.

“The first miracle was on election night, and on election night at 11:15 at night, the algorithms on these machines broke, basically broke, and this’ll be explained during this show, but they broke. What that means is Donald Trump got so many more millions of votes that they didn’t expect that they’re going to have to go recalibrate, right?”

Algorithm EXPERT and My Pillow Man

Right?

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiggghhhtttt. Okay, but what is your Absolute Proof?

Nothing? Okay, got it.

“The big thing was the theft by these other countries that came in to attack our country through these machines that are made to steal elections. Every election going forward in history if these things would have happened, these two, and we would have never known, every single vote you would have ever made wouldn’t have mattered. Somebody else would have made that vote. And we’ve all seen in this past month, you think it wasn’t communists coming in and taking us over? With people here. This is an attack not only on those other countries with communism, but they had domestic traitors right here in our country. Whatever’s going on right now, we’re seeing it. They’re suppressing. Cancel culture. They’re trying to cancel us all out. I have seen churches, the Christian churches, they’re being attacked right now. People on social media, anyone that speaks up, they’re going, ‘You can’t say that.’ It’s like, you’re gone. Right now they’re doing whack-a-mole because they knew they were so close, so close that we would never know in history what happened.”

An ELECTIONS EXPERT Who Makes Cheap Pillows

Okay, so as a person who hates America as much as I love TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP, I want this to be true. But, I’m afraid it sounds more like a guy who makes pillows is high on cocaine and trying to convince me of something that makes no sense. What’s that? That’s EXACTLY what this is? Oh.

Would you like to see more of this NON-FACTUAL “proof”? No?

What’s that, your head hurts? Oh, well, here’s some more claims by MIKE LINDELL.

You know that when the DRUNK WOMAN who was nationally mocked for her INSANE, RIDICULOUS, NONSENSICAL RAMBLING about how tRuMp ReAlLy WoN shows up as part of your “Absolute Proof” that things are going really well, and by “really well” I mean about as good as a night’s sleep on a MyPillow!

PATRIOTS, we’ve suffered a lot of insane, unhinged, destructive conspiracy theories over the past four years. We’ve bent over backward to excuse and apologize for the CONSPIRACY THEORIST IN CHIEF, and we’ve all come out worse for it. What say we STOP with this INSANE UTTER NONSENSE, and stop letting the My Pillow man book airtime on TV to brainwash TRUMP-SUPPORTING IDIOTS? I think I speak for everyone when I say, get some rest, My Pillow man. Get some rest. You’ve harmed your country proud, and you’re TOO CRAZY, even for US CRAZIES!

I’m afraid, at this point, I might even have to buy LIBERAL PILLOWS if it will make you shut the hell up! And now, there’s a new option in probably-shitty pillows headed to market:

Parkland school shooting survivor and gun control advocate David Hogg plans to launch his own pillow company with the goal of competing against embattled bedding company MyPillow. The idea was posed to Hogg, 20, in a tweet from entrepreneur William LeGate on Thursday that questioned whether the duo should start a pillow company to “put MyPillow out of business.”

NBC (Nothin’ But Crap) NEWS

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Former TRUMP GOON Kudlow Won’t Say Whether Biden ‘Alert Or Not Alert,’ Can’t See ANYTHING From Inside TRUMP’S BUTTHOLE!!!

America's worst financial advisor
“Is it hot in here, or am I finally in hell?” – Larry Kudlow

PATRIOTS, Larry Kudlow has been the dumbest guy in the room for a long time, and you have to admire him for being SO GOOD AT IT. For example, in 2005, he said people predicting a real estate crash were “dead wrong,” and just because HE turned out to be dead wrong, that didn’t stop him from predicting in 2007 that “there is no recession,” right before something called the GREAT Recession, and just because he turned out to be wrong about that, too, that didn’t stop him from making a whole bunch of other wrong predictions for a decade, until he FAILED ALL THE WAY up to being Biden’s PREDECESSOR’S TOP ECONOMIC ADVISER, where, in February 2020, right before COVID crashed the stock market, he told Americans it would be a good time to buy stocks. All of this must have been rather hard, considering that although he served as the PREDECESSOR’S economic adviser, he was not, in reality, an ECONOMIST. And so, it should come as no surprise PATRIOTS, that LARRY KUDLOW continues to be invited on FOX NEWS and FOX BUSINESS to say very WRONG AND DUMB THINGS, WRONG AND DUMB THINGS TO REPUBLICANS ABOUT DEMOCRATS, LIKE ALL GOOD AMERICANS DO! What I’m trying to say here is, HE’S A REAL AMERICAN PATRIOT!

Now, KUDLOW’S dropped another KNOWLEDGE TURD, that STINKS to high heavens, this time about BIDEN! SLEEPY, HIDIN’ BIDEN! ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE who’s trying to pass the economic aid for the American people that TRUMP PROMISED BUT NEVER DELIVERED! FAKE economist Larry Kudlow said on Maria Bartiromo’s FAKE business TV show on the FAKE news channel Fox Business Network, that he didn’t know “Whether [Biden’s] an empty vessel for the far left wing of his party,” and when asked whether Biden understood what he was signing with executive orders he’d signed, he replied, “That’s a good question,” (it was not) before he refused to say whether Biden is “alert or not alert.”

And just because Larry Kudlow was clearly lying, like he has lied and been wrong for his entire career, and just because there’s no evidence that Biden is “not alert,” that doesn’t mean we, AS PATRIOTS AND CONSERVATIVES, can’t pretend KUDLOW WAS TELLING THE TRUTH! Biden is DERANGED! He’s ILL and WEAK. How do I know? Because I don’t rely on LAZY, LIBERAL FACTS to reach my conclusions! I find TRUTH that I WANT TO BE TRUE, and I find my TRUTH in the same place FOX BUSINESS NETWORK AND MARIA BARTIROMO AND LARRY KUDLOW do, right up TRUMP’S BUTTHOLE! MMM, smells like McDonald’s up here! Why would we ever leave?!?!?!

Kudlow also said during this “interview” that President Biden, “may be, really, given his first couple weeks, the most left wing president we’ve ever seen.” He said, the Democratic Party “has moved a hundred yards to the left” and “way to the left of Barack Obama.” Again, it was a PERFECTLY GOOD CONCLUSION, as long as you don’t worry about any LEFTIST FACTS! Biden is the most radical, left-wing nut job ever to hold office, and I know this because I WANT IT TO BE TRUE!

What’s Biden doing right now, you ask? He’s working on sending out those checks TRUMP wanted to send? EVIL! COMMUNIST! SOCIALIST!

The libs GOT TRIGGERED by this TRUTH!

NEWSFLASH: PEOPLE LIKE LARRY KUDLOW LOVE AMERICA! AND BY LOVE, I MEAN HATE! They’re what we call PATRIOTS, okay?

If the government isn’t doing something for them, namely letting them pretend they’re qualified to have a job in it, then IT’S RADICAL, LEFTIST, COMMUNIST, and any of the other BAD “ISTS” you can think of! They stand for exactly one thing! THEMSELVES! “If TRUMP’S BUTTHOLE CAN GET BACK INTO THE WHITE HOUSE,” they think, “I CAN TOO! ‘CAUSE MY HEAD’S STILL IN IT!”

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Orwellian! My Pillow Man Banned From Twitter For Refusal To Stop Lying And Inciting Civil Unrest!

Customers: Pro-Trump Pillows Are a Nightmare
Night, night!

PATRIOTS, no PATRIOT has fought harder against the EVILS of FREEDOM than Mike Lindell, CEO of My Pillow, “The World’s Shittiest Pillow,”TM and recent proponent of MARTIAL LAW to overthrow the U.S. Government. If that’s not American, than call me a terrorist! That’s why it’s SO INCREDIBLY ORWELLIAN that Twitter has decided to PERMANENTLY BAN the My Pillow man from its platform. What did he do? Apparently, he “alleged that the voting machine companies Smartmatic and Dominion Voting Systems were part of a conspiracy to rig the election against Trump,” according to reports. Big deal! It’s not like that PROVEN, REPEATED LIE ever killed anybody! What’s that? It killed five people? Big deal! They were probably LEFTISTS, anyway!

It’s NOT FAIR that private companies are banning bad faith actors who continually push lies for profit while attacking the fragile peace that sustains our politically-divided society! It’s NOT FAIR because those people REALLY WANT TO PROFIT from the downfall of America! If Mike Lindell can’t profit from selling the PROVEN LIE that Donald Trump won the election, if not for an elaborate conspiracy involving the makers of voting machines, local election officials, state-level Republicans, and the long-dead leader of Venezuela, what is he going to PROFIT FROM? Selling shitty pillows? Selling poisonous plants as a miracle cure for COVID-19? Yes, he did that. And, no, it did not turn out to be a miracle cure, but it was slightly healthier than drinking bleach. MAGA!

These lies never hurt anybody! Did they? I don’t know. Probably. Probably a lot of people, actually. Hmm. But PATRIOTS, the PERSECUTION OF THE PILLOW MAN raises a larger question about American society, namely, do we really want to be the kind of country that allows private companies to silence CONSERVATIVE VOICES just because they refuse to stop intentionally spouting dangerous, destructive, murderous LIES? I think not! That’s ORWELLIAN, just like it was ORWELLIAN that pro-terrorist Republican Senator Josh Hawley briefly lost his book deal for two weeks because he incited terrorism. TERRORISM AND BOOK DEALS FOR EVERYONE! FINANCED BY THE GOVERNMENT! THAT’S WHAT I CALL FREE MARKET!

The FREE MARKET decides things in this country, and the FREE MARKET should decide that the My Pillow man’s LIES, the LIES I LIKE, must be spread to ALL by a private platform called Twitter, and if the FREE MARKET decides it doesn’t want to do that, THAN THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD MAKE IT DO THAT! That’s called Trumpism!

PATRIOTS, America is sick, and the only cure is to just let all the LUNATICS RUN THE ASYLUM! And WHITE OLEANDER EXTRACT! Why not let a former cocaine addict who now sells cheap pillows organize a domestic paramilitary operation AND PROVIDE GREAT HEALTHCARE SOLUTIONS? Why not also let this man tell us who really won presidential elections based on nothing more than the feelings in his gut? Why not let Representatives bring guns and ammunition to the house floor? As long as they really believe those guns are actually candy canes, who’s to tell them they aren’t? It’s called FIRST AMENDMENT! Why not let the people who lOvE tHe FrEe MaRkEt So MuCh force businesses like Twitter to make ONLY the decisions THEY SUPPORT, until ALL AMERICANS are forced to suffer the daily FEAR of incitement of domestic TERROR FOR TRUMP, and attacks on the Capitol following every election the PROVEN LIARS say was fraudulent?

Because that threatens the safety of every American? F*** it! I don’t care! I care about MY FREEDOM, not YOUR FREEDOM!

CANCEL THE CANCEL CULTURE! LET THE LIES FLOW!

Speaking of which, let’s all buy a My Pillow to support the latest VICTIM of his own stupidity. Buy TWO! Buy yours here!

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Dr. Deborah Birx, The HERO Who Kept Her FRIGGIN’ Mouth Shut!

Dr. Deborah Birx Says Someone Was Feeding Trump “Parallel” Coronavirus Data  – Mother Jones
Sometimes, the most patriotic thing you can do is keep your mouth shut!

PATRIOTS, for most of 2020, while Americans cowered in terror from the deadly coronavirus sweeping the nation and the former PRESIDENT appeared too PATRIOTICALLY ignorant, too unwilling, or too sadistic to do anything to slow it, Former White House Coronavirus Response Coordinator, Dr. Deborah Birx, stood by the former president’s side. She lent her credibility to the president who had none. She told us that, while the PRESIDENT SEEMED to have been trying to KILL US ALL by suggesting we drink disinfectant and not listen to “scientists” who told us to try wearing masks and avoiding getting sick with COVID, the PRESIDENT actually, really did know what he was talking about. That’s what Birx told us, that he was reading everything she gave him, that he knew what he was doing.

But now, Dr. Birx, like any true HERO of the TRUMP ERA, is revealing she knew WE WERE ALL SCREWED THE WHOLE TIME, but she never bothered to tell any of us, because, you know, personal gain. Unlike TERRORIST DR. FAUCI, Dr. Birx did her DUTY to the former PRESIDENT. She kept her FRIGGIN’ MOUTH SHUT.

And now, step 3. Try to PROFIT. Everybody wants to hear about how BATSHIT CRAZY TRUMP REALLY WAS, and the former PRESIDENT can’t fire her anymore, so she’s letting it rip like Rudy Giuliani’s butt, telling us all what a ridiculously irresponsible danger to America our GREAT PRESIDENT WAS!

Birx, the COORDINATOR of the WHOLE ENTIRE White House response, told CBS (COMMUNIST BROADCASTING STATION) that she almost never saw or spoke with the former PRESIDENT! She also told CBS that Biden’s PREDECESSOR was getting a “parallel set of data and graphics” that weren’t accurate and she didn’t know where they came from. 

“I saw the president presenting graphs that I never made. So I know that someone … was creating a parallel set of data and graphics that were shown to the president. I don’t know to this day who.”

Dr. Deborah Birx

In other words, I wasn’t responsible for all the Former PRESIDENT’S lies, Birx is telling us. I tried to stop the madman, but forces beyond my control stopped me. I’m the responsible one. I’m like Fauci, not like Dr. Birx, that loser!

And, PATRIOTS, I for one, totally believe Dr. Birx’s day-late-and-dollar-short non-apology apology tour, because if Birx wasn’t totally secretly RESISTING the former PRESIDENT’S patriotic efforts to endanger Americans’ lives, why did she spend so much time PRAISING HIS RESPONSE? IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!

Last year, Birx offered SLOBBERINGLY-PATRIOTIC praise of the former PRESIDENT. She called him “attentive to the scientific literature” in an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network. “He’s been so attentive to the scientific literature and the details and the data,” Birx said. “I think his ability to analyze and integrate data that comes out of his long history in business has really been a real benefit during these discussions about medical issues.” Yes, if that’s not the voice of a concerned adviser who can’t believe her boss is being convinced by fake graphics and data to risk hundreds of thousands of lives, THAN I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS!!!

And, the reporters who saw the former PRESIDENT’S PATH OF DENIAL at the time and wondered why Birx continued to support it, can attest that Birx was never interested in talking to them when they asked about the former PRESIDENT’S DERANGED BEHAVIOR. Maggie Haberman of the FAILING New York Times tweeted that, “when BIRX spoke publicly early on, she appeared in lockstep” with the former President.

Birx is just pulling a BOLTON, trying to sell her story in the form of a LUCRATIVE BOOK DEAL! And, as a TRUMPeter, I couldn’t be more supportive, since calling out the former President’s reckless endangerment of US ALL, long after he leaves office, causes him no harm.

Birx is a HERO, a HERO of the TRUMP-era, a HERO who kept her friggin’ mouth shut while the former PRESIDENT sought to kill everyone, and only once it was lucrative for her, did she speak up.

Her example is a contrast to TERRORIST DR. FAUCI, who opposed the former PRESIDENT while he was in office, and beyond, LIKE A SPINELESS, LEFTIST, SCIENCE-HUGGING COWARD! FAUXci told The New York Times over the weekend about the JOYS of trying to explain to the former President that every snake oil that his conmen friends pitched him over the phone wasn’t a miracle cure.

[I]t was clear that he was getting input from people who were calling him up, I don’t know who, people he knew from business, saying, “Hey, I heard about this drug, isn’t it great?” or, “Boy, this convalescent plasma is really phenomenal.” And I would try to, you know, calmly explain that you find out if something works by doing an appropriate clinical trial; you get the information, you give it a peer review. And he’d say, “Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this stuff really works.”

Dr. FAUXci to the FAKE New York Times

SICK LEFTIST! When the PRESIDENT speaks about the My Pillow man’s miracle cures, YOU KEEP YOUR SCIENCE-LOVING, FREEDOM-HATING MOUTH SHUT!

But FAUXci kept speaking!

“[H]e would say something that clearly was not correct, and then a reporter would say, “Well, let’s hear from Dr. Fauci.” I would have to get up and say, “No, I’m sorry, I do not think that is the case.” It isn’t like I took any pleasure in contradicting the president of the United States. I have a great deal of respect for the office. But I made a decision that I just had to. Otherwise I would be compromising my own integrity, and be giving a false message to the world. If I didn’t speak up, it would be almost tacit approval that what he was saying was OK.”

Dr. FAUXci to the FAKE New York Times

FAKE NEWS FAUCI could learn a thing from HERO DR. BIRX about “compromising” his “integrity” and giving “tacit approval” to the former PRESIDENT’S PATRIOTIC LIES! These are the TWO CORE VALUES of the TRUMP ERA! What happens in the Oval Office stays in the Oval Office. It’s between you, the president, Rudy Giuliani and the My Pillow man! And, DR. BIRX!

Snitches get stitches, FAUCI!

“[O]ne day I got a letter in the mail, I opened it up and a puff of powder came all over my face and my chest. That was very, very disturbing to me and my wife because it was in my office. So I just looked at it all over me and said, “What do I do?” The security detail was there, and they’re very experienced in that. They said, “Don’t move, stay in the room.” And they got the hazmat people. So they came, they sprayed me down and all that… It was a benign nothing. But it was frightening. My wife and my children were more disturbed than I was. I looked at it somewhat fatalistically. It had to be one of three things: A hoax. Or anthrax, which meant I’d have to go on Cipro for a month. Or if it was ricin, I was dead, so bye-bye.”

Dr. FAUXci to the FAKE New York Times

Except, it’s not bye-bye for Dr. F! He’s sticking around to join Biden’s team, because he TOLD THE EVIL TRUTH, while a PATRIOT like DR. BIRX finds herself struggling to break seven figures with her surely-impending book deal! CHILLING! CENSORSHIP! CANCEL CULTURE!

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‘Cryin’ Chuck Schumer Whines About Trump’s Big ‘Erection’ During Speech To Members

Schumer tears up over 'un-American' ban - CNN Video
“Cry more, LIB!” – A. Racist

PATRIOTS, everybody knows Cryin’ Chuck Schumer is a WHINY little bitch (at least everybody who read and believed the vile spew coming from President Joe Biden’s PREDECSSOR’S Twitter before it was deactivated for domestic terrorism), but now Cryin’ has sunk to a new low. He took to the Senate floor, the most sacred place in the U.S. Capitol, which is reserved only for democratic proceedings and crazy men dressed as vikings, to take another cheap shot at Biden’s PREDECESSOR over the PREDECESSOR’S attempt to overthrow democracy. In a speech to MEMBERS, in which Schumer said the article of impeachment against the Predecessor would be delivered to the Senate on Monday, Cryin’ Chuck accused Biden’s PREDECESSOR of trying to incite an “erection”.

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAH! HE SAID “ERECTION!” HE SAID “ERECTION!”

But PATRIOTS, everybody knows, when you take a shot at the KING’S WIENER, you’d better not miss! And CRYIN’ missed BIGLY, because everybody knows, nobody is HARDER for FASCISM than Joe Biden’s PREDECESSOR.

What’s that? PREDECESSOR’S own, white-supremacist, misogynistic Nazi supporters are now calling Biden’s PREDECESSOR “flaccid”?

Damn. Here’s what The “FAKE” New York Times reported about the PREDECESSOR’S biggest supporters, the boys who have the least to be proud of, THE PROUD BOYS!

. . . by this week, the group’s attitude toward Mr. Trump had changed. “Trump will go down as a total failure,” the Proud Boys said in the same Telegram channel on Monday. . .

Last week, Nicholas Fuentes, the leader of America First, wrote in his Telegram channel that Mr. Trump’s response to the Capitol rampage was “very weak and flaccid” and added, “Not the same guy that ran in 2015.”

– The ‘FAKE’ New York Times

Damn. PREDECESSOR even lost his MOST RACIST supporters. This whole MAGA movement is starting to look like a shriveled up hot dog. Even the CRAZIEST of the CRAZIES are abandoning the PREDECESSOR TRAIN. The Q Anon CULT, which believed that PREDECESSOR’S every move was part of a massively convoluted and secret effort to expose and arrest members of a secret cabal of satanist, child-eating, pedophiles (AKA DEM-O-RATS) who run EVERYTHING in the world, IS ABANDONING THE PREDECESSOR TRAIN!

The Q-NUTS thought that on Wednesday, the Bidens, Obamas and the Clintons “would be rounded up and executed for child sex trafficking, treason and other crimes,” and Trump would be inaugurated for a second term. SADLY, PATRIOTS, THEY–and we–WERE WRONG!

Like a flipped switch, the attitude inside online QAnon communities shifted from glee to shock and misery: “NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED!!!”; “So now we have proof Q was total bullshit”; “I feel sick, disgusted and disappointed”; “Have we been duped???”; “You played us all”; “HOW COULD WE BELIEVE THIS FOR SO LONG? ARE WE ALL IDIOTS?”

– HUFFPOST (or whatever the hell that LIBERAL RAG is called now

WE ARE ALL IDIOTS! We all got F***ed by the “ERECTION” Biden’s PREDECESSOR incited. Thanks, Cryin’ Chuck!

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CONSERVATIVES Scorch Biden’s Failed, 24-hour-old Presidency! — Hannity Whines Biden Should Have Solved COVID On ‘Day One’

Biden, Harris Take Office in New US Administration | Voice of America -  English
“Why hasn’t Biden fixed all the problems in our 100% already MADE GREAT AGAIN country, yet?” – Conservatives

PATRIOTS, it’s no secret that Joe Biden’s PREDECESSOR Made America Great Again, already. Greater than it’s ever been, in fact, which is why WE CONSERVATIVE PATRIOTS are so disheartened to see that after a FULL 24 HOURS as president, America under Joe Biden remains the same, intolerant, mindless, sick, scorched HELLSCAPE that it was when PREDECESSOR left office yesterday! I mean, really? What is Biden doing? PREDECESSOR would have fixed all of this already, if he’d ever been President!

Sean Hannity got it right during his FREEDOM HOUR OF FASCISM last night, on day one-half of the TOTALLY ALREADY FAILED Biden Administration, when Hannity said of Biden’s COVID plan, “I thought he was going to do this on day one!”

“WHY HASN’T BIDEN FIXED COVID ON DAY ONE?” Hannity rightly asked of Biden. PREDECESSOR had ONLY just over 365 days to STOP COVID, and Biden GOT A WHOLE ONE!!! Double-standard much, you lying LEFTIST media???

Meanwhile, BIDEN wasted an entire HALF-DAY of being president (the same amount of time it takes Hannity’s LOVER to GOLF) signing 17 executive actions on a range of topics, including the COVID pandemic and rejoining the World Health Organization and the Paris climate accords. LAZY BASTARD! Biden’s PREDECESSOR pardoned over 100 people on his final day! Now, that’s what I call action!

Hannity called Biden “the weak, the frail, the cognitively struggling Biden,” which was a totally ACCURATE description of what LOBOTOMIZED CONSERVATIVES LIKE HANNITY fantasized about while Biden was giving an inarguably coherent and cognitively lucid address, part of his day that saw him not even stop once to TAKE A BREAK TO GO GOLFING OR TWEET. In other words, HANNITY IS RIGHT! BIDEN IS WEAK! SO WEAK HE’S STRONG! IT MAKES SENSE, JUST DON’T THINK ABOUT IT!

And then, in this totally objective and unbiased ASSAULT on the Biden HELL-MINISTRATION, Hannity asked the really important question. No, not the question of, why has HANNITY has abandoned all pretense of objectivity or truth in exchange for riling up the uninformed masses against democracy? HANNITY asked why doesn’t BIDEN work toward unity, while HANNITY continues to sow the seeds of insurrection and domestic terrorism nightly? “For example,” HANNITY suggested, “[Biden] could’ve stopped comparing Republicans to Nazis, like he did a week ago. He could ask his colleagues to stop referring to 75 million peace-loving [PREDECESSOR] supporters as domestic terrorists that support insurrection when they absolutely do not.” Yes, STOP CALLING US WHAT WE ARE, BIDEN. We’re not domestic terrorists and Nazis, we just hate our democratic government and would like to punish everyone who doesn’t look or think like us, and we have many avowed Nazis as prominent members of our political movement! Totally different!

PATRIOTS, we need UNITY, and we CONSERVATIVES sure as hell aren’t going to try to foster it, because there’s too much money being made by Fox News, OAN, and Newsmax for us to ever STOP LYING TO YOU!

But PATRIOTS, fear not because BIDEN has already been involved in a bigger SCANDAL than his PREDECESSOR ever had.

Biden FIRED the General Counsel to the National Labor Relations Board. And, if you’re LIKE most Americans, you’re saying, “What is that?” Well, it doesn’t matter, SHEEPLE!

Or, if you know about this particular general counsel of the NLRB, you might be saying, “Good, because he was one of the foremost opponents of workers’ rights in government, and had been appointed by [PREDECESSOR] specifically to be a sycophant for big business and against unionization.”

OKAY, COMMUNIST! PATRIOTS, all that matters is that Biden did something we can criticize! WE’RE OUTRAGED AT THIS… whatever it was. IT DOESN’T MATTER! The important thing is that WE WILL ATTACK BIDEN HARDER ON THIS SMALL BUREAUCRATIC CHANGE than we ATTACKED [PREDECESSOR] FOR INCITING A TERRORIST ATTACK ON THE U.S. CAPITOL THAT SOUGHT TO END DEMOCRACY AND KILL THE VICE PRESIDENT AND THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE!

OR, ANYTHING ELSE [PREDECESSOR] DID TO LITERALLY TRY TO END THE UNITED STATES, FOR THAT MATTER!

LET THE CONSERVATIVE PILE-ON BEGIN! WE CARE ABOUT THIS COUNTRY AGAIN, because we’re no longer the ones with the power to destroy it!

Also, there’s windows being broken at someplace other than the U.S. Capitol? I care about vandalism and rioting again!

PATRIOTS, we conservatives have seen enough. It’s time to DECLARE this Biden presidency a TOTAL AND COMPLETE FAILURE! We put up with a lot of fascism over the last four years, and we didn’t say a word against it, but Biden looked at me the wrong way during that Inaugural Address!

Impeach! Impeach! Impeach!

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SCENES FROM INAUGURATION DAY 2021: BIDEN’S HELL-NAUGURATION!!!

Joe Biden Inauguration: Biden sworn-in as president; live updates
Unlike his predecessor, Biden swore to uphold the Constitution, rather than his own loyal, bootlicking sycophants, LIKE A LEFTIST COWARD!

Well, PATRIOTS, it’s official. Joseph Robinette SLEEPY HIDIN’ Biden is now the President of the United States. OUR MAGA CULT’S tremendous run of destruction, violence, lies and idiocy is over. We had a good run. We tore down a lot of things (not statues, though). Killed a lot of people, more people than many even thought possible. But, like the Bible says (I assume, because like Trump, I’ve never read it) “For everything there is a season, A time for every activity under heaven.” And, so the season of MAGA is at an end. Its terror and boastfulness will live on for decades, its consequences far-reaching, eternally harmful to our country, as the actions of ALL TRUE PATRIOTS should be. But today it is time for a new season, a season of peace, of hope, of competent presidential leadership, rather than pillaging self-enrichment and self-aggrandizing.

Today begins the season of BIDEN, and I, like the outgoing President of the United States…

…’s Vice President, Mike Pence, wish President Biden good luck.

JUST KIDDING! I’m going to go immediately into REPUBLICAN SPIN MODE, and I’m going to hypocritically attack everything Biden does, whether it’s good, bad, or indifferent! Why? I’m a REPUBLICAN who hates AMERICA. That’s why!

Biden began his term with a call for unity, healing and truth. He said at one point in his Inaugural Address, “There is truth and there are lies – lies told for power and profit.” As a loyal TRUMP supporter, I have NO IDEA who he was referring to with this non-sequitur, but I assume it was some, lying SCUM-o-CRAT.

Then, Biden, said what we’ve all been thinking, that “democracy is fragile,” which was a clear reference to the dangers posed by the TEAM OF COMPETENT STATESMEN AND STATESWOMEN Biden plans to install in power in place of TRUMP’S COALITION OF WINGNUTS, who sought to overthrow the government.

WE MUST REMAIN VIGILANT PATRIOTS! The danger to Democracy has arrived with the EXIT OF DICTATOR TRUMP!

We, PATRIOTS, must now begin living in fear, the same FEAR we RIGHTFULLY INFLICTED on all the persecuted and underprivileged Americans during our REIGN OF TERROR, I mean, GLORIOUS REIGN OF TRUMP! Sleep in fear, now, PATRIOTS, FEAR OF THE BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE OF HOPE AND OPTIMISM delivered by this HELL-NAUGURATION of HIDIN’ BIDEN!

In just one of the scenes from this DISGRACEFUL REFUTATION OF TRUMP’S SPITEFUL, DESTRUCTIVE, PATRIOTIC VISION OF AMERICA’S FUTURE, Amanda Gorman, a young, talented POET–the most EVIL of all LEFTIST professions–recited a message of hope. HOPE! I mean, really, what hope can we, the white persecuted, have at a time like this? We’ve lost our RIGHTS! We can’t even burn down the Capitol Building anymore!

Amanda Gorman, poet, said, ““We will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one … There is always light, if only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.”

Disgrace! How far our national rhetoric and tone has fallen under the FAILED BIDEN ADMINISTRATION that has been in power for a full TWO HOURS! Compare that tolerant mumbo-jumbo to Trump’s POETRY at his rally to destroy America on January 6. . .

“…late in the evening or early in the morning, boom. These explosions of bullshit, and all of the sudden —all of a sudden, it started to happen.”

DONALD TRUMP

Now that’s what I call POETRY!

The HELL-NAUGURATION of Biden also saw the swearing in of the first black and Asian-American Vice President of the United States, Kamala Harris. LIB-TARDS called it a historic step for our country. I call it a SAD NEW LOW for TRUMPISM. Now, I’ve got nothing against black people, but [insert contrived rationalization for why a black person shouldn’t be VP here].

I’m not intolerant, PATRIOTS. I’m just not tolerant. That’s all. And if that makes me a bad person, then, I guess I’m guilty as charged (but don’t worry because I’ll probably get a pardon from TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! (What’s that?? He can’t pardon me after he leaves office??? Damn.))

On this HELL-NAUGURATION DAY, we saw the TRIUMVIRATE OF LEFTISTS (as I call them)–composed of Michelle Obama, Jennifer Lopez, and Lady Gaga–assemble to wreak their UN-AMERICAN ideals of joy and tolerance on OUR country. Just look at Michelle Obama! LOOK AT HER! LOOK!

I AM OUTRAGED!!! (I’m not sure about what, but give me a second, I’ll figure it out (Dang! She looks dignified. She’s everything Melania wasn’t AND I HATE HER!!!)

Lady Gaga showed up for a brief pop-in on her way to BIDEN’S HUNGER GAMES, I assume, to ABSOLUTELY BUTCHER our National Anthem, by singing it instead of mocking it, like TRUMP did.

Then, J-LO told everyone to “get loud” after she sang “This Land Is Your Land.” Really, J-LO? “Your” land? WRONG! THIS IS TRUMP SUPPORTERS’ LAND! IF YOU DON’T LOVE IT, LEAVE IT! (Or storm the Capitol and then call it “patriotism.”)

And, just when things seemed they couldn’t get any worse, COUNTRY MUSIC HERO GARTH BROOKS revealed he’s a been closet AMERICAN all along. I thought he was a REPUBLICAN! TREASON! TREASON!

But the thing that sticks out the most to me, PATRIOTS, is that for the first time in the last four years, a MENTALLY ILL MADMAN WHO DEMONSTRABLY HATES AMERICA IS IN CHARGE OF THE NUCLEAR CODES! I am of course referring to Joe Biden, in case you didn’t get that.

PATRIOTS, it’s a fresh start for America today. The GREAT STAIN ON OUR NATIONAL CONSCIENCE is gone. Whoops! Sorry, a little bit of honesty slipped out there. I mean, A GREAT PATRIOTIC DICTATOR has gone into exile. There we go. Fixed it.

We’ve seen the dawn of a new administration, an administration that promises to respect history, science, fact, and the rights of all Americans to live in peace and safety. DISGUSTING! We’ve seen responsibility and sanity return to the highest office in our land. SICK! We’ve breathed a sigh of relief that our democracy has not yet become the victim of a self-interested, narcissistic, destructive power-grab that exploits the worst in people to pillage the work that our forefathers worked so hard to create. LOSERS!

America has survived TRUMP!

I’m sorry to say, we failed patriots. We tried our best to tear it down, but we finally found the limits of our own incompetence, when it came to successfully carrying out our coup. Now, we must suffer four years of Democracy, tolerance and sanity.

I think TRUMP’S CHILDREN speak for all of us, patriots, when they say, “WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH! BOO! HOO!”

And to the rest of you TOLERANT, LEFTIST BASTARDS, I say, enjoy your precious AMERICA! We’ll be back in four years to try and destroy it again, if you’re not careful!

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