PATRIOTS, Senator Ron Johnson of the GOP (GOVERNMENT OVERTHROW PARTY) has a message for all the STUPID, IDIOT LEFTISTS who GOT TRIGGERED by the thousands of armed Trump supporters who invaded the U.S. Capitol on January 6th chanting “Hang Pence!” and looking for members of Congress to kill. NONE OF THAT HAPPENED, YOU LYING LEFTIST LIBS!
PATRIOTS, nevermind the pictures, the videos, and the confessions made by the participants. Nevermind that thousands of people in TRUMP attire stormed the capitol and attempted to overthrow the government. Nevermind the bombs planted at party headquarters that day, and the dead body of the police officer that the TRUMP supporters murdered. THAT’S ALL JUST LAMESTREAM, LIBTARD SPIN! The SIMPLE FACT OF THE MATTER is that this insurrection was actually a NOT-SURRECTION, because contrary to what the LIBERAL, LEFTIST SCUM called cameras and microphones tell your eyes and ears, it didn’t even happen.
RON JOHNSON’S COMING IN HOT with a heat-seeking truth-bomb for all the SCUM OF THE EARTH who want “reality” to be based on “facts,” “sworn confessions,” and “visual evidence.” That message: just SHUT THE F*** UP, FORGET WHAT YOU SAW, AND GET IN LINE WITH THE PARTY LINE!
“This didn’t seem like an armed insurrection to me.”SEN. RON JOHNSON (R-WI)
What is wrong with all these dumb libs who want to insist that there was an armed insurrection at the Capitol? I didn’t see any armed insurrection at the Capitol! No one did! And if anyone tries to say they did, TRUMPERS WILL BURN THAT MOTHERF***ING CAPITOL TO THE GROUND WITH THEIR FLAMETHROWERS! Not armed!
So here’s what me and RUSSIA RON have to say to all you fact-hugging LIB-SCUM-O-CRATS! Learn how to minimize and justify terrorist attacks against your country! Otherwise, you might never reach your political goals! JUST MAN THE F*** UP AND HATE YOUR COUNTRY, YOU SICK, STUPID LIBS!
And you know why me and RUSSIAN RON are not scared of that FAKE “armed insurrection,” libs? Because that armed insurrection was there to kill YOU, not US! And we are sure it will never come for us, because we’ll never stop defending its murderous participants, no matter how badly they try to harm America!
RUSSIAN RON wasn’t done, libs!
“I mean ‘armed,’ when you hear ‘armed,’ don’t you think of firearms? Here’s the questions I would have liked to ask. How many firearms were confiscated? How many shots were fired? I’m only aware of one and I’ll defend that law enforcement officer for taking that shot. It was a tragedy, OK? But I think there was only one.”Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI)
Firearms? FIREARMS!?!?! I mean… my gosh. What are these STUPID LIBS even talking about?
Just because police recovered a dozen guns and thousands of rounds of ammunition from people arrested for their involvement in the Jan. 6 attack that killed five people, according to NBC News, and just because the insurrectionists used a stun gun to attack and incapacitate a police officer, giving him a heart attack, THAT DOESN’T MEAN THEY WERE ARMED, YOU STUPID, STUPID LIBS! THEY WEREN’T ARMED! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL! STOP INFRINGING ON MY RIGHTS! I DON’T WANT THE LIBERAL TRUTH YOU’RE SPINNING! TUCKER! HANNITY! JUDGE JEANINE! HELP! HELP! HELP! THE LIB IS ON ME! GET IT OFF!
Russian Ron Johnson doesn’t care about your precious “country,” libs! Russian Ron follows the teachings of the FOUNDERS, you know, the guys who set the example for this GREAT COUNTRY, that, sometimes, patriots have to try to destroy! Now, STUPID LIBS might tell you the founders were people like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, etc. WRONG! You know who founded this country? TRUMP! How do I know? Because, I learned from TRUMP that I don’t need my STUPID, LIBERAL BRAIN! All the learning I need is in my mouth! When my mouth speaks, I listen! My mouth asked who founded America, and my mouth also answers every question with the same answer: TRUMP!
Where does my mouth get it’s information from? I don’t know! I don’t ask dumb questions! My mouth said Trump is the founder, so I believe it! Russian Ron gets his facts from the same place, except at the other end of the pipe! My mouth calls it his “reverse mouth.”
LIBS CALL IT HIS ASS!
WE DON’T NEED OUR LYIN’ BRAINS ANYMORE LIBS! There was no armed insurrection! There was no incitement! There was no crime at all! Are me and Russian Ron Johnson INSANE?
DOESN’T “SEEM” LIKE IT TO ME!
PATRIOTS, around here, we BACK THE BLUE always and forever, 110,000%, unless we’re trying to storm the Capitol Building and they won’t join our coup! So, that’s why I’M BACKING the HERO officers of the Rochester, New York police who STARED DOWN A DANGEROUS THREAT TO FREEDOM and came out VICTORIOUS! They HANDCUFFED and PEPPER SPRAYED this MENACE! This meanace? A 9-year-old girl! And PATRIOTS, we all know, there’s nothing more dangerous than an UNRESTRAINED CHILD!
The incident happened when officers responded to a family disturbance call. THE FAKE NEW YORK TIMES has the TRUE DETAILS.
During the incident, which occurred Friday afternoon, officers restrained the girl, pushing her into the snow in order to handcuff her, while she screamed repeatedly for her father, the footage showed.
At one point, an officer said, “You’re acting like a child.” She responded, “I am a child.”
When she refused to sit inside a police car, an officer pepper-sprayed her.FAKE NEWS NEW YORK TIMES
Here’s the video. Judge for yourself (unless you’re going to judge that this PEPPER SPRAYING was excessive, in which case keep your opinions to yourself and DON’T CANCEL MINE!).
PATRIOTS, we CONSERVATIVES can’t spend everyday whining about how a small percentage of our TERRORIST FRIENDS who stormed the capitol are being unjustly arrested by the police for committing crimes and then posting about it on social media. NOT WHILE DANGEROUS 9-YEAR-OLDS are terrorizing our streets and the POLICE are helpless to stop them. PEPPER SPRAY? Where were this police department’s HUMVEES, Armored Personnel Carriers and bazookas? These officers could have been seriously injured!!!
But while this 9-YEAR-OLD was clearly committing the CRIME of “acting like a child,” there are some LEFTISTS who are opposed to this violence against children! I CALL THEM COMMIES! ANTIFA! ANTIFA!
Luckily, the Rochester police union chief pushed back against this FAKE NEWS MEDIA NARRATIVE!
“”Had they had to go and push further, and use more force, there’s a good chance she could have been hurt worse. It’s very, very difficult to get somebody into the back of a police car like that. And she’s 9 years old. Imagine what happens when we have a full grown individual.”Mike Mazzeo, president of the Rochester Police Locust Club
Yes, had the POLICE not pepper sprayed this defenseless 9-year-old, they MIGHT HAVE HAD TO HURT HER WORSE! They might have had to shoot her! If anything, these officers are HEROES! What they did practically SAVED HER LIFE!
And it’s not the first life saved by the Rochester police.
The incident has brought renewed scrutiny to the Rochester Police Department, months after the city was roiled by the disclosure that Daniel Prude, a Black man, suffocated to death last year after Rochester police officers had placed him in a hood.
The handling of Mr. Prude’s death prompted the city’s mayor to abruptly fire the police chief in September, and the department faced accusations of a cover-up after it was revealed that officers had characterized Mr. Prude’s death as the result of a drug overdose.
In Mr. Prude’s case, the body-camera footage was released six months after his death, only after his family had sued the city. Officials at the time of the death sought repeatedly to hide the videos from the public to prevent damaging fallout, according to city documents released last year.FAKE NEWS NEW YORK TIMES
Okay, not the best example, but it just goes to show, if the police didn’t pepper spray this child, they might have had to do WORSE! What do you want these cops to do, protect and serve? LOSER!
PATRIOTS, I’m no anti-semite, but I certainly think it’s fair game to ask whether ALL of the problems currently troubling our GREAT COUNTRY and our GREAT REPUBLICAN PARTY can be blamed on a SECRET JEWISH SPACE LASER. It’s not SO CRAZY if you DON’T think about it! This question isn’t just being asked by WINGNUTS like myself, but FULL-FLEDGED lawmakers in the Republican Party, like Marjorie Taylor Greene, easily the most PATRIOTIC AMERICAN PATRIOT since Dennis Rodman!
Representative Trailer Queen–I mean Taylor Greene–has SET A NEW BAR for WILDLY OFFENSIVE CONSPIRACY THEORIES since getting elected to the People’s House on a PERFECTLY SANE GOP platform of QAnon conspiracy fearmongering, like stopping Democrats from allegedly harvesting the organs of children in Satanic rituals, something that was obviously TOTALLY REAL and near-and-dear to the hearts of her PERFECTLY SANE constituents in Georgia (what the HELL is up with that state electing two Democrats to the Senate and Greene to the House?!?!). But that’s just the tip of the iceberg for this WOMAN OF GOD AND AMERICA! Greene believes ALL SCHOOL SHOOTINGS are staged hoaxes, 9/11 was an inside job by the U.S. government, Muslims shouldn’t be allowed to serve in government, and Democrats should be executed. ALL THINGS THAT MAKE TOTAL SENSE IF YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THEM, AND YOU ARE ALSO TOTALLY INSANE. (Which is why Trump supporters loved her!) BUT PATRIOTS, ALL OF THAT WAS JUST THE WARMUP ACT!
For JEWISH SPACE LASER!
PATRIOTS, there is no comedic set up that can make this report by New York Magazine any funnier, or more terrifying, than it already is:
The most recent Greene view to be unearthed comes via Eric Hananoki. Just over two years ago, Greene suggested in a Facebook post that wildfires in California were not natural. Forests don’t just catch fire, you know. Rather, the blazes had been started by PG&E, in conjunction with the Rothschilds, using a space laser, in order to clear room for a high-speed rail project. Here is Greene’s entire post, via Media Matters:
Did you get all that? No? Neither did I. Really, it’s one of the most PATRIOTICALLY INSANE things ever written by a member of Congress. In fact, while we can debate the legal grounds for expulsion from the House of Representatives, which many Dems have called for, there can really be NO DEBATE that these views rise to the level of making Marjorie Taylor Greene an EXTREME DANGER to the AMERICAN PEOPLE! She certainly, has no BUSINESS BEING IN CONGRESS! She needs to be in a MENTAL HOSPITAL!
WHICH IS WHY I SUPPORT HER!
You see, as a TRUMP SUPPORTER, like GameStop stock, my entire connection with facts & reality has been COMPLETELY severed. I no longer live on this plane of existence. I am purely what I and others imagine myself to be! In the FANTASY WORLD I inhabit, again, as an avowed TRUMP SUPPORTER, all of the PROVABLY FALSE things Marjorie Taylor Greene has said are true! TRUE, BECAUSE THEY ARE FALSE, you see! It doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to keep reinforcing the INFINITE FEEDBACK loop of the Republican Party, like buying a stock makes a stock a good buy! CAPITALISM! If everything Trump and the GOP do is good, then everything bad is good; and, if everything bad is good, everything false must also be true! Then, in this ALTERNATE REALITY OF TRUMP AND GOP ALTERNATIVE FACTS, Marjorie Taylor Greene is not the greatest threat to America, she is our greatest asset. We are no longer bound by the constraints of TRUTH in OUR PARTY, and in OUR COUNTRY, sir! WE ARE THE JEWISH SPACE LASER OF POLITICAL PARTIES! RACIST, ANTI-SEMITIC, ONLY MAKING SENSE INSIDE OUR OWN MINDS, AND THE GREATEST THREAT TO THE PLANET EARTH IN EXISTENCE! WE ARE PATRIOTS!
And, Republican House Leader Kevin McCarthy feels the same way. He’s not listening to those stupid Democrats who think Marjorie Taylor Greene is a threat, just because she is threatening our country and her fellow members of Congress. McCarthy knows that Marjorie Taylor Greene IS THE GOP! AND, WE COULD LEARN A THING OR TWO FROM HER INSANITY. That’s why the GOP PUT HER ON THE EDUCATION COMMITTEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME? THIS CAN’T BE REAL LIFE! IS IT? ARE YOU SURE? DID I GET HIT IN THE HEAD!?!?!?! THE EDUCATION COMMITTEE?!?!?!)
CRAZY NANCY had a typically crazy response to this TOTALLY SANE MOVE by the GOP to put the school shooting truther on the education committee!
“Assigning her to the Education Committee when she has mocked the killing of little children at Sandy Hook Elementary School, when she has mocked the killing of teenagers in high school at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school — what could they be thinking? Or is thinking too generous a word for what they might be doing?”‘CRAZY’ Nancy Pelosi
Very generous, Nancy!
And, THE GOP totally knew Marjorie Taylor Greene was TOTALLY CRAZY a long time ago, but Kevin McCarthy, “did little to stop her,” Axios reports. According to Greene’s LOSER primary opponent John Cowan, LOSER, “Everybody was well aware of her previous persona and who she is. I would say they all knew she was going to be a problem… Maybe they just assumed that the awe of winning an election would calm her down a little bit, and so she would actually be interested in governing and be interested in policy, and she’s just clearly not. She is literally there for a stage production.”
HEY JOHN, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, CRAZY TALKS AND SANITY WALKS IN THE GOP! SO WHY ARE YOU IN IT?
But CoMpLeTe SaNiTy talks, too. Because Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy has a solution to Marjorie Taylor Greene’s “deeply disturbing” and PATRIOTIC belief that everything she can see with her eyes is FAKE, Democrats need to be SHOT, and JEWISH SPACE LASERS are real.
“These comments are deeply disturbing and Leader McCarthy plans to have a conversation with the Congresswoman about them,” spokesman Mark Bednar told CNN.CNN (Clinton News Network)
CONVERSATION! Right. I’m sure that’ll fix everything, because everyone knows when you run into a CRAZY TRUMP SUPPORTER, a good, fact based conversation usually changes their mind.
PATRIOTS, no PATRIOT has fought harder against the EVILS of FREEDOM than Mike Lindell, CEO of My Pillow, “The World’s Shittiest Pillow,”TM and recent proponent of MARTIAL LAW to overthrow the U.S. Government. If that’s not American, than call me a terrorist! That’s why it’s SO INCREDIBLY ORWELLIAN that Twitter has decided to PERMANENTLY BAN the My Pillow man from its platform. What did he do? Apparently, he “alleged that the voting machine companies Smartmatic and Dominion Voting Systems were part of a conspiracy to rig the election against Trump,” according to reports. Big deal! It’s not like that PROVEN, REPEATED LIE ever killed anybody! What’s that? It killed five people? Big deal! They were probably LEFTISTS, anyway!
It’s NOT FAIR that private companies are banning bad faith actors who continually push lies for profit while attacking the fragile peace that sustains our politically-divided society! It’s NOT FAIR because those people REALLY WANT TO PROFIT from the downfall of America! If Mike Lindell can’t profit from selling the PROVEN LIE that Donald Trump won the election, if not for an elaborate conspiracy involving the makers of voting machines, local election officials, state-level Republicans, and the long-dead leader of Venezuela, what is he going to PROFIT FROM? Selling shitty pillows? Selling poisonous plants as a miracle cure for COVID-19? Yes, he did that. And, no, it did not turn out to be a miracle cure, but it was slightly healthier than drinking bleach. MAGA!
These lies never hurt anybody! Did they? I don’t know. Probably. Probably a lot of people, actually. Hmm. But PATRIOTS, the PERSECUTION OF THE PILLOW MAN raises a larger question about American society, namely, do we really want to be the kind of country that allows private companies to silence CONSERVATIVE VOICES just because they refuse to stop intentionally spouting dangerous, destructive, murderous LIES? I think not! That’s ORWELLIAN, just like it was ORWELLIAN that pro-terrorist Republican Senator Josh Hawley briefly lost his book deal for two weeks because he incited terrorism. TERRORISM AND BOOK DEALS FOR EVERYONE! FINANCED BY THE GOVERNMENT! THAT’S WHAT I CALL FREE MARKET!
The FREE MARKET decides things in this country, and the FREE MARKET should decide that the My Pillow man’s LIES, the LIES I LIKE, must be spread to ALL by a private platform called Twitter, and if the FREE MARKET decides it doesn’t want to do that, THAN THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD MAKE IT DO THAT! That’s called Trumpism!
PATRIOTS, America is sick, and the only cure is to just let all the LUNATICS RUN THE ASYLUM! And WHITE OLEANDER EXTRACT! Why not let a former cocaine addict who now sells cheap pillows organize a domestic paramilitary operation AND PROVIDE GREAT HEALTHCARE SOLUTIONS? Why not also let this man tell us who really won presidential elections based on nothing more than the feelings in his gut? Why not let Representatives bring guns and ammunition to the house floor? As long as they really believe those guns are actually candy canes, who’s to tell them they aren’t? It’s called FIRST AMENDMENT! Why not let the people who lOvE tHe FrEe MaRkEt So MuCh force businesses like Twitter to make ONLY the decisions THEY SUPPORT, until ALL AMERICANS are forced to suffer the daily FEAR of incitement of domestic TERROR FOR TRUMP, and attacks on the Capitol following every election the PROVEN LIARS say was fraudulent?
Because that threatens the safety of every American? F*** it! I don’t care! I care about MY FREEDOM, not YOUR FREEDOM!
CANCEL THE CANCEL CULTURE! LET THE LIES FLOW!
Speaking of which, let’s all buy a My Pillow to support the latest VICTIM of his own stupidity. Buy TWO! Buy yours here!
PATRIOTS, for most of 2020, while Americans cowered in terror from the deadly coronavirus sweeping the nation and the former PRESIDENT appeared too PATRIOTICALLY ignorant, too unwilling, or too sadistic to do anything to slow it, Former White House Coronavirus Response Coordinator, Dr. Deborah Birx, stood by the former president’s side. She lent her credibility to the president who had none. She told us that, while the PRESIDENT SEEMED to have been trying to KILL US ALL by suggesting we drink disinfectant and not listen to “scientists” who told us to try wearing masks and avoiding getting sick with COVID, the PRESIDENT actually, really did know what he was talking about. That’s what Birx told us, that he was reading everything she gave him, that he knew what he was doing.
But now, Dr. Birx, like any true HERO of the TRUMP ERA, is revealing she knew WE WERE ALL SCREWED THE WHOLE TIME, but she never bothered to tell any of us, because, you know, personal gain. Unlike TERRORIST DR. FAUCI, Dr. Birx did her DUTY to the former PRESIDENT. She kept her FRIGGIN’ MOUTH SHUT.
And now, step 3. Try to PROFIT. Everybody wants to hear about how BATSHIT CRAZY TRUMP REALLY WAS, and the former PRESIDENT can’t fire her anymore, so she’s letting it rip like Rudy Giuliani’s butt, telling us all what a ridiculously irresponsible danger to America our GREAT PRESIDENT WAS!
Birx, the COORDINATOR of the WHOLE ENTIRE White House response, told CBS (COMMUNIST BROADCASTING STATION) that she almost never saw or spoke with the former PRESIDENT! She also told CBS that Biden’s PREDECESSOR was getting a “parallel set of data and graphics” that weren’t accurate and she didn’t know where they came from.
“I saw the president presenting graphs that I never made. So I know that someone … was creating a parallel set of data and graphics that were shown to the president. I don’t know to this day who.”Dr. Deborah Birx
In other words, I wasn’t responsible for all the Former PRESIDENT’S lies, Birx is telling us. I tried to stop the madman, but forces beyond my control stopped me. I’m the responsible one. I’m like Fauci, not like Dr. Birx, that loser!
And, PATRIOTS, I for one, totally believe Dr. Birx’s day-late-and-dollar-short non-apology apology tour, because if Birx wasn’t totally secretly RESISTING the former PRESIDENT’S patriotic efforts to endanger Americans’ lives, why did she spend so much time PRAISING HIS RESPONSE? IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!
Last year, Birx offered SLOBBERINGLY-PATRIOTIC praise of the former PRESIDENT. She called him “attentive to the scientific literature” in an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network. “He’s been so attentive to the scientific literature and the details and the data,” Birx said. “I think his ability to analyze and integrate data that comes out of his long history in business has really been a real benefit during these discussions about medical issues.” Yes, if that’s not the voice of a concerned adviser who can’t believe her boss is being convinced by fake graphics and data to risk hundreds of thousands of lives, THAN I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS!!!
And, the reporters who saw the former PRESIDENT’S PATH OF DENIAL at the time and wondered why Birx continued to support it, can attest that Birx was never interested in talking to them when they asked about the former PRESIDENT’S DERANGED BEHAVIOR. Maggie Haberman of the FAILING New York Times tweeted that, “when BIRX spoke publicly early on, she appeared in lockstep” with the former President.
Birx is just pulling a BOLTON, trying to sell her story in the form of a LUCRATIVE BOOK DEAL! And, as a TRUMPeter, I couldn’t be more supportive, since calling out the former President’s reckless endangerment of US ALL, long after he leaves office, causes him no harm.
Birx is a HERO, a HERO of the TRUMP-era, a HERO who kept her friggin’ mouth shut while the former PRESIDENT sought to kill everyone, and only once it was lucrative for her, did she speak up.
Her example is a contrast to TERRORIST DR. FAUCI, who opposed the former PRESIDENT while he was in office, and beyond, LIKE A SPINELESS, LEFTIST, SCIENCE-HUGGING COWARD! FAUXci told The New York Times over the weekend about the JOYS of trying to explain to the former President that every snake oil that his conmen friends pitched him over the phone wasn’t a miracle cure.
[I]t was clear that he was getting input from people who were calling him up, I don’t know who, people he knew from business, saying, “Hey, I heard about this drug, isn’t it great?” or, “Boy, this convalescent plasma is really phenomenal.” And I would try to, you know, calmly explain that you find out if something works by doing an appropriate clinical trial; you get the information, you give it a peer review. And he’d say, “Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this stuff really works.”Dr. FAUXci to the FAKE New York Times
SICK LEFTIST! When the PRESIDENT speaks about the My Pillow man’s miracle cures, YOU KEEP YOUR SCIENCE-LOVING, FREEDOM-HATING MOUTH SHUT!
But FAUXci kept speaking!
“[H]e would say something that clearly was not correct, and then a reporter would say, “Well, let’s hear from Dr. Fauci.” I would have to get up and say, “No, I’m sorry, I do not think that is the case.” It isn’t like I took any pleasure in contradicting the president of the United States. I have a great deal of respect for the office. But I made a decision that I just had to. Otherwise I would be compromising my own integrity, and be giving a false message to the world. If I didn’t speak up, it would be almost tacit approval that what he was saying was OK.”Dr. FAUXci to the FAKE New York Times
FAKE NEWS FAUCI could learn a thing from HERO DR. BIRX about “compromising” his “integrity” and giving “tacit approval” to the former PRESIDENT’S PATRIOTIC LIES! These are the TWO CORE VALUES of the TRUMP ERA! What happens in the Oval Office stays in the Oval Office. It’s between you, the president, Rudy Giuliani and the My Pillow man! And, DR. BIRX!
Snitches get stitches, FAUCI!
“[O]ne day I got a letter in the mail, I opened it up and a puff of powder came all over my face and my chest. That was very, very disturbing to me and my wife because it was in my office. So I just looked at it all over me and said, “What do I do?” The security detail was there, and they’re very experienced in that. They said, “Don’t move, stay in the room.” And they got the hazmat people. So they came, they sprayed me down and all that… It was a benign nothing. But it was frightening. My wife and my children were more disturbed than I was. I looked at it somewhat fatalistically. It had to be one of three things: A hoax. Or anthrax, which meant I’d have to go on Cipro for a month. Or if it was ricin, I was dead, so bye-bye.”Dr. FAUXci to the FAKE New York Times
Except, it’s not bye-bye for Dr. F! He’s sticking around to join Biden’s team, because he TOLD THE EVIL TRUTH, while a PATRIOT like DR. BIRX finds herself struggling to break seven figures with her surely-impending book deal! CHILLING! CENSORSHIP! CANCEL CULTURE!
PATRIOTS, everybody knows Cryin’ Chuck Schumer is a WHINY little bitch (at least everybody who read and believed the vile spew coming from President Joe Biden’s PREDECSSOR’S Twitter before it was deactivated for domestic terrorism), but now Cryin’ has sunk to a new low. He took to the Senate floor, the most sacred place in the U.S. Capitol, which is reserved only for democratic proceedings and crazy men dressed as vikings, to take another cheap shot at Biden’s PREDECESSOR over the PREDECESSOR’S attempt to overthrow democracy. In a speech to MEMBERS, in which Schumer said the article of impeachment against the Predecessor would be delivered to the Senate on Monday, Cryin’ Chuck accused Biden’s PREDECESSOR of trying to incite an “erection”.
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAH! HE SAID “ERECTION!” HE SAID “ERECTION!”
But PATRIOTS, everybody knows, when you take a shot at the KING’S WIENER, you’d better not miss! And CRYIN’ missed BIGLY, because everybody knows, nobody is HARDER for FASCISM than Joe Biden’s PREDECESSOR.
What’s that? PREDECESSOR’S own, white-supremacist, misogynistic Nazi supporters are now calling Biden’s PREDECESSOR “flaccid”?
Damn. Here’s what The “FAKE” New York Times reported about the PREDECESSOR’S biggest supporters, the boys who have the least to be proud of, THE PROUD BOYS!
. . . by this week, the group’s attitude toward Mr. Trump had changed. “Trump will go down as a total failure,” the Proud Boys said in the same Telegram channel on Monday. . .
Last week, Nicholas Fuentes, the leader of America First, wrote in his Telegram channel that Mr. Trump’s response to the Capitol rampage was “very weak and flaccid” and added, “Not the same guy that ran in 2015.”– The ‘FAKE’ New York Times
Damn. PREDECESSOR even lost his MOST RACIST supporters. This whole MAGA movement is starting to look like a shriveled up hot dog. Even the CRAZIEST of the CRAZIES are abandoning the PREDECESSOR TRAIN. The Q Anon CULT, which believed that PREDECESSOR’S every move was part of a massively convoluted and secret effort to expose and arrest members of a secret cabal of satanist, child-eating, pedophiles (AKA DEM-O-RATS) who run EVERYTHING in the world, IS ABANDONING THE PREDECESSOR TRAIN!
The Q-NUTS thought that on Wednesday, the Bidens, Obamas and the Clintons “would be rounded up and executed for child sex trafficking, treason and other crimes,” and Trump would be inaugurated for a second term. SADLY, PATRIOTS, THEY–and we–WERE WRONG!
Like a flipped switch, the attitude inside online QAnon communities shifted from glee to shock and misery: “NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED!!!”; “So now we have proof Q was total bullshit”; “I feel sick, disgusted and disappointed”; “Have we been duped???”; “You played us all”; “HOW COULD WE BELIEVE THIS FOR SO LONG? ARE WE ALL IDIOTS?”– HUFFPOST (or whatever the hell that LIBERAL RAG is called now
WE ARE ALL IDIOTS! We all got F***ed by the “ERECTION” Biden’s PREDECESSOR incited. Thanks, Cryin’ Chuck!
Well, PATRIOTS, it’s official. Joseph Robinette SLEEPY HIDIN’ Biden is now the President of the United States. OUR MAGA CULT’S tremendous run of destruction, violence, lies and idiocy is over. We had a good run. We tore down a lot of things (not statues, though). Killed a lot of people, more people than many even thought possible. But, like the Bible says (I assume, because like Trump, I’ve never read it) “For everything there is a season, A time for every activity under heaven.” And, so the season of MAGA is at an end. Its terror and boastfulness will live on for decades, its consequences far-reaching, eternally harmful to our country, as the actions of ALL TRUE PATRIOTS should be. But today it is time for a new season, a season of peace, of hope, of competent presidential leadership, rather than pillaging self-enrichment and self-aggrandizing.
Today begins the season of BIDEN, and I, like the outgoing President of the United States…
…’s Vice President, Mike Pence, wish President Biden good luck.
JUST KIDDING! I’m going to go immediately into REPUBLICAN SPIN MODE, and I’m going to hypocritically attack everything Biden does, whether it’s good, bad, or indifferent! Why? I’m a REPUBLICAN who hates AMERICA. That’s why!
Biden began his term with a call for unity, healing and truth. He said at one point in his Inaugural Address, “There is truth and there are lies – lies told for power and profit.” As a loyal TRUMP supporter, I have NO IDEA who he was referring to with this non-sequitur, but I assume it was some, lying SCUM-o-CRAT.
Then, Biden, said what we’ve all been thinking, that “democracy is fragile,” which was a clear reference to the dangers posed by the TEAM OF COMPETENT STATESMEN AND STATESWOMEN Biden plans to install in power in place of TRUMP’S COALITION OF WINGNUTS, who sought to overthrow the government.
WE MUST REMAIN VIGILANT PATRIOTS! The danger to Democracy has arrived with the EXIT OF DICTATOR TRUMP!
We, PATRIOTS, must now begin living in fear, the same FEAR we RIGHTFULLY INFLICTED on all the persecuted and underprivileged Americans during our REIGN OF TERROR, I mean, GLORIOUS REIGN OF TRUMP! Sleep in fear, now, PATRIOTS, FEAR OF THE BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE OF HOPE AND OPTIMISM delivered by this HELL-NAUGURATION of HIDIN’ BIDEN!
In just one of the scenes from this DISGRACEFUL REFUTATION OF TRUMP’S SPITEFUL, DESTRUCTIVE, PATRIOTIC VISION OF AMERICA’S FUTURE, Amanda Gorman, a young, talented POET–the most EVIL of all LEFTIST professions–recited a message of hope. HOPE! I mean, really, what hope can we, the white persecuted, have at a time like this? We’ve lost our RIGHTS! We can’t even burn down the Capitol Building anymore!
Amanda Gorman, poet, said, ““We will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one … There is always light, if only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.”
Disgrace! How far our national rhetoric and tone has fallen under the FAILED BIDEN ADMINISTRATION that has been in power for a full TWO HOURS! Compare that tolerant mumbo-jumbo to Trump’s POETRY at his rally to destroy America on January 6. . .
“…late in the evening or early in the morning, boom. These explosions of bullshit, and all of the sudden —all of a sudden, it started to happen.”DONALD TRUMP
Now that’s what I call POETRY!
The HELL-NAUGURATION of Biden also saw the swearing in of the first black and Asian-American Vice President of the United States, Kamala Harris. LIB-TARDS called it a historic step for our country. I call it a SAD NEW LOW for TRUMPISM. Now, I’ve got nothing against black people, but [insert contrived rationalization for why a black person shouldn’t be VP here].
I’m not intolerant, PATRIOTS. I’m just not tolerant. That’s all. And if that makes me a bad person, then, I guess I’m guilty as charged (but don’t worry because I’ll probably get a pardon from TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! (What’s that?? He can’t pardon me after he leaves office??? Damn.))
On this HELL-NAUGURATION DAY, we saw the TRIUMVIRATE OF LEFTISTS (as I call them)–composed of Michelle Obama, Jennifer Lopez, and Lady Gaga–assemble to wreak their UN-AMERICAN ideals of joy and tolerance on OUR country. Just look at Michelle Obama! LOOK AT HER! LOOK!
I AM OUTRAGED!!! (I’m not sure about what, but give me a second, I’ll figure it out (Dang! She looks dignified. She’s everything Melania wasn’t AND I HATE HER!!!)
Lady Gaga showed up for a brief pop-in on her way to BIDEN’S HUNGER GAMES, I assume, to ABSOLUTELY BUTCHER our National Anthem, by singing it instead of mocking it, like TRUMP did.
Then, J-LO told everyone to “get loud” after she sang “This Land Is Your Land.” Really, J-LO? “Your” land? WRONG! THIS IS TRUMP SUPPORTERS’ LAND! IF YOU DON’T LOVE IT, LEAVE IT! (Or storm the Capitol and then call it “patriotism.”)
And, just when things seemed they couldn’t get any worse, COUNTRY MUSIC HERO GARTH BROOKS revealed he’s a been closet AMERICAN all along. I thought he was a REPUBLICAN! TREASON! TREASON!
But the thing that sticks out the most to me, PATRIOTS, is that for the first time in the last four years, a MENTALLY ILL MADMAN WHO DEMONSTRABLY HATES AMERICA IS IN CHARGE OF THE NUCLEAR CODES! I am of course referring to Joe Biden, in case you didn’t get that.
PATRIOTS, it’s a fresh start for America today. The GREAT STAIN ON OUR NATIONAL CONSCIENCE is gone. Whoops! Sorry, a little bit of honesty slipped out there. I mean, A GREAT PATRIOTIC DICTATOR has gone into exile. There we go. Fixed it.
We’ve seen the dawn of a new administration, an administration that promises to respect history, science, fact, and the rights of all Americans to live in peace and safety. DISGUSTING! We’ve seen responsibility and sanity return to the highest office in our land. SICK! We’ve breathed a sigh of relief that our democracy has not yet become the victim of a self-interested, narcissistic, destructive power-grab that exploits the worst in people to pillage the work that our forefathers worked so hard to create. LOSERS!
America has survived TRUMP!
I’m sorry to say, we failed patriots. We tried our best to tear it down, but we finally found the limits of our own incompetence, when it came to successfully carrying out our coup. Now, we must suffer four years of Democracy, tolerance and sanity.
I think TRUMP’S CHILDREN speak for all of us, patriots, when they say, “WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH! BOO! HOO!”
And to the rest of you TOLERANT, LEFTIST BASTARDS, I say, enjoy your precious AMERICA! We’ll be back in four years to try and destroy it again, if you’re not careful!
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PATRIOTS, we’re breaking every record for historic presidential achievement! Donald Trump is now the first president to ever be impeached TWICE! Most impeached in history! Woo! Crack open a can of Goya to celebrate!
The great, presidential accomplishment that led to TRUMP’S second impeachment? “Incitement of insurrection!” The House of Representatives voted 232 to 197 to impeach Trump on a single article that, in addition to the “insurrection” language, accused Trump of “inciting violence against the government of the United States.” WINNING, BABY! The article even calls for Trump to be disqualified from ever holding public office again!
Trump! Trump! Trump!
Now, PATRIOTS, some LIBS might try to tell you that this is BAD, that Donald Trump’s second impeachment is a stain on his presidency that indicates he is a woefully un-American narcissist hell-bent on destroying Democracy! Hogwash! TRUMP did it! He proved that the LIBS are a bunch of CRYBABY SNOWFLAKES who can’t even take it when their precious democracy is hollowed out and shat in like a dead tree! CRY MORE, LIB!
We will never admit that our MAGA (Make America Grieve Again) movement was a stain on our nation’s history. WE LOVE OUR PRESIDENT! WE WILL NEVER ADMIT WE WERE WRONG! DENIAL!
That’s all we’ve got at this point.
But TRUMP is just getting warmed up because on the same day he got a LEFTIST SNUB from Trump-supporting coach Bill Belichick, TRUMP TRUMPED! He gave the Presidential Medal Of Freedom to country singers TOBY KIETH and RICKY SKAGGS in a private ceremony at the White House! The ceremony was PRIVATE! How good is this Republican presidency going? Country music singers don’t want to be seen in public receiving an award from the president!
As Toby Keith would say, “The Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist!”
And to top it all off, TRUMP is said to be “isolated and angry at aides for failing to defend him,” according to the Loser Bezos Washington Post. Because of that, Trump is now REFUSING to pay the legal fees of his most loyal, bootlicking, sycophantic “lawyer” Rudy Giuliani.
PATRIOTS, like the country of America, no one has done more to promote, aid, and prop-up Donald Trump than Rudy Giuliani. I mean, for goodness sake, Rudy went to every state in the Union and spread Trump’s entirely false election fraud claims to undermine democracy, all while dealing with a serious case of SHITHEAD DISEASE, a disease which literally caused shit to leak out of Rudy’s head. Rudy went from America’s Mayor, to a bumbling, babbling, crotch grabbing oaf who tried to get Ukranian officials to fabricate evidence against his political opponents and held an election fraud press conference at a place called “Four Seasons Total Landscaping” right next to a sex-toy shop in Philly! He called members of Congress during the Trump assault on the Capitol to try to convince them to side with Trump over democracy! He literally DESTROYED his own humanity to HELP TRUMP LIE! And so, Donald Trump is treating Rudy the same way he treated America, the country responsible for his near-success. He’s saying F*** ‘EM! I GOT MINE JACK! GO POUND SAND! BIGLY!
To paraphrase the words of Ricky Bobby’s dad in Talladega Nights, “it’s the winners who get paid!”
Suck it America! We’ve got a 187 IQ, and we hate America, and we love TRUMP! No contradiction there, right Rudy?
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PATRIOTS, there’s nothing we TRUMP-FLUFFERS love more than a good BOTH-SIDES-ing! I nearly blew my pants off when TRUMP said in 2017 that there were “very fine people on both sides” of the WHITE SUPREMACIST NAZI mob that heroically terrorized Charlottesville, VA, and killed one woman, and I didn’t think anything could TOP that. Well, I was wrong, because Republican Representative Ken Buck (R-CO) TOPPED that BIGLY this morning on CNN! So BIGLY tHaT i CrEaMeD mY tRuMp FlAg!
Ken Buck fact-f***ed CNN’s lib-hard host back to lib-o-stan when he reminded him that “both sides are at fault” for the mob violence and coup attempt that the president incited at the Capitol Building last week, in response to Democracy’s VERY UNFAIR treatment of the PRESIDENT.
“To say that there’s one speech or one incident that caused this group of people to storm the Capitol is just not accurate. What I’m trying to suggest to you is that both sides are at fault and that in America, we need to be very careful of the words we use.”Rep. Ken Buck (R-CO)
Buck’s TRUTHSTORM triggered Clinton News Network host John Berman, who couldn’t believe Buck–himself a potential target of the president’s violent, pre-meditated attack on Democracy–would suggest that Democrats were to blame. Berman SNOWFLAKED so hard while he asked Buck to justify his PATRIOTICALLY INSANE remarks, simply because they made NO SENSE, and BUCK responded by Trump, Trump, Trumping Berman right up the TRUTH HOLE, reducing him to a screaming puddle of leftist tears! MAGA (Make America Grieve Again), baby! “What did the other side do?” Buck asked incredulously. “You’re asking me what Democrats have done to make the MAGA crowd mad?”
What a STUPIDLY intelligent question!
Berman didn’t allow BUCK to FINISH HIS BIG LIE, so I’ll do it for him.
THE DEMOCRATS COUNTED THE VOTES! THE DEMOCRATS DIDN’T LIE TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE! THE DEMOCRATS TOLD TRUMP SUPPORTERS THAT TRUMP LOST, JUST BECAUSE HE DID! THEY DIDN’T JOIN THE CRUZ-HAWLEY-BROOKS DENIAL & FASCISM CAUCUS TO OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT! And for these TREASONOUS CRIMES AGAINST TRUMP, I SAY…
HANG ‘EM HIGH!
And I’ve been doing some research, PATRIOTS. Turns out American history is littered with SNOWFLAKES who loved their precious Democracy more than terrorism-installed PATRIOTIC fascism for TRUMP. Jefferson, Washington, Adams–these are just some of the VILLAINS OF AMERICAN HISTORY who should have been hung for trying to BRAINWASH THE AMERICAN people with the EVILS of TRUTH and DEMOCRATIC ELECTIONS!
HANG EM HIGH! Dig up their corpses, and string them up! They must be punished, just like those who stand with freedom and therefore against TRUMP! We’Re NoT cRaZy!
BOTH SIDES ARE TO BLAME FOR THIS VIOLENCE! Sure, there might be a little blame for the TRUMP supporters and the president who plotted in advance to assassinate the Vice President and Speaker of the House during the certification of Electoral College votes, but MOST OF THE BLAME goes to the LIBERAL LEFTISTS who woke up on the morning of January 6th determined to selflessly do their duty to Democracy and America, the two BIGGEST ENEMIES of TRUMP! Sure, I guess Democracy has some value, but TRUMP is more important! TRUMP is AMERICA! TRUMP is FREEDOM! TRUMP is TRUTH!
The LEFT is the to blame!
The LEFT is to blame because sitting Republican members of Congress allegedly gave the TRUMP coup plotters “reconnaissance” tours of the Capitol building on the day before the TRUMP mob breached its walls in search of Congressional and Vice Presidential blood. BOTH SIDES!
The LEFT is to blame because the TRUMP WHITE HOUSE was reportedly in contact with the rioters as they were roaming the halls of Congress, looking for legislators to take hostage or kill. BOTH SIDES!
The LEFT is to blame because Democratic Rep. Ayanna Pressley’s staff discovered that all the panic buttons in her office had been “torn out” before the coup attempt and they discovered this once the TRUMP MOB had breached the Capitol with intent to harm her. BOTH SIDES! SHAME!
The LEFT is to blame because Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez “thought [she] was going to die,” at one point during the coup and siege when she had a “very close encounter” with the TRUMP supporting violent mob. “It was not an exaggeration to say that many members of the House were nearly assassinated,” she added, like a LEFTIST!
The LEFT is to blame because Republican members of Congress are now refusing to submit to the metal detectors that had to be installed outside the House of Representatives’ floor because one of their colleagues is publicly bragging about how she is going to continue to carry a firearm inside the Capitol in violation of D.C. law, and that same member was live tweeting Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s location to the insurrectionists during the Capitol siege. BOTH SIDES!
And, yes, this just seems like a list of things REPUBLICANS have selfishly done to, at best, endanger our government, and at worst, willingly commit insurrection and participate in a coup attempt for TRUMP, but make no mistake, this attempt to kill Democratic members of Congress and prevent a duly elected Democrat from being sworn in as president is the FAULT OF BOTH SIDES!
ASSHOLE KEN BUCK SAYS SO! THAT’S WHY!
WHY DOES HE SAY SO?
I DON’T KNOW WHY! MAYBE HE JUST WANTS TO SEE THE NEXT COUP SUCCEED! AnD wHaT’s WrOnG wItH tHaT?
TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!
These colors don’t THINK!
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