Category: Guns

JUST WHO THE HELL DOES THE POPE THINK HE IS?

  
Who in God’s name does the Pope think he is?!?!

Jesus Christ!!!

First he tries to tell us the climate is changing.

And just because he’s “infallible” we’re supposed to believe him.

Nice try Pope, but would an infallible man drive a FIAT??? I think not.

  
Now, he wants to come down here to Washington, D.C., OUR NATION’S CAPITAL, TO JESUS’S HOUSE, and tell us that we can’t sentence other people to death?!?! 

What fun is that?

  
Here’s what @pontifex said during his speech to Congress Thursday…

This conviction has led me, from the beginning of my ministry, to advocate at different levels for the global abolition of the death penalty. I am convinced that this way is the best, since every life is sacred, every human person is endowed with an inalienable dignity, and society can only benefit from the rehabilitation of those convicted of crimes. Recently my brother bishops here in the United States renewed their call for the abolition of the death penalty. Not only do I support them, but I also offer encouragement to all those who are convinced that a just and necessary punishment must never exclude the dimension of hope and the goal of rehabilitation.

What good is the Bible if we can’t use its teachings to subject society’s worst offenders (and a few hundred innocent people) to a long, excruciating murder by chemical injection?

  
“Eye for an eye,” that’s what the REAL, OLD-SCHOOL GOD taught. None of this PC, liberal “Do unto others” BS that the Pope and his buddy “Jesus” are laying down. Go back to your Bernie Sanders rally, hippies.

Coincidentally, the Pope also laid that “Do unto others” propaganda down during his speech to congress…

We need to avoid a common temptation nowadays: to discard whatever proves troublesome. Let us remember the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

What?!?! “Discard whatever proves troublesome” is LITERALLY the motto that Fox News reporters live by when they report their stories. I’m beginning to think this Pope doesn’t understand anything about being a Christian (Conservative). He needs to stop taking selfies and watch some Hannity.

  
Speaking of watching Hannity, I’m hoping that’s where Supreme Court Justices (and people who have the power to abolish the death penalty) Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, and Antonin Scalia were, because they WISELY decided not to attend Pope-bama’s speech. That’s right, the three CATHOLIC Supreme Court justices who support the death penalty couldn’t find time in their busy schedules to see the Pope. I applaud this. Why would these all-powerful, lifetime appointees take time for a lowly elected official like the Pope. It would really be beneath them as, I’m assuming, would be listening to God’s representative on Earth.

 
But while these three old men did well in cowering from the dangerous message of peace and acceptance delivered by an elderly, foreign man in a white robe, the real hero of the day was Republican Congressman Paul Gosar. Yes, this proud member of the United States Congress boldly condemned the Pope for making EVERY. FUCKING. THING. into a divisive, poltical talking point. 

  
That’s right, Paul Gosar went there. He cast the first stone.

As he wrote in a blistering, anti-Pope, liberty-sausage of an editorial for TownHall…

Media reports indicate His Holiness…intends to focus the brunt of his speech on climate change– a climate that has been changing since first created in Genesis. More troubling is the fact that this climate change talk has adopted all of the socialist talking points, wrapped false science and ideology into “climate justice” and is being presented to guilt people into leftist policies… If the Pope plans to spend the majority of his time advocating for flawed climate change policies, then I will not attend.

 And he did not attend. As Daily Kos put it, the Catholic Congressman was, “not willing to walk about 500 feet from his office in Cannon to the Capitol.” Suck on that, Pope, you self-righteous dick! Who do you think you are to spew your Communist ideas in PAUL GOSAR’S WORKPLACE?!?! WHO ARE YOU to make PAUL GOSAR walk 500 feet?!?! THIS IS AMERICA! NOBODY walks 500 feet, here!

…Unless we’re walking to the ranch of a crazy racist who wants to start a shooting war with the U.S. Government. Paul Gosar did that…

…last year the congressman had the interest and the time to travel thousands of miles to criminal rancher Cliven Bundy’s compound in Nevada. Gosar joined a knuckle-dragging gaggle of Arizona legislators like Chemtrail Queen Sen. Kelli Ward, who caravanned to the armed camp during the standoff with BLM. The Arizonans took photographs with the bigot Bundy and spoke with local media about freedumb and shit, then returned home and plastered the pictures on their websites—that is until the old coot told the world what he knows “about the Negro.” Then the web photos disappeared…

   
 So just to recap the day’s Conservative talking points, team… Obama, Liberals, Pope, Walking=Bad.

Racist rancher, Paul Gosar, Death Penalty, Not Doing Unto Others=Good.

Got it? Okay, great. Now let’s get to work.

Of course, there are some who seem to have fallen under the spell of the Pontiff’s DANGEROUS MESSAGE OF LOVE FOR OUR FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS. 

I am calling on Fox News to FIRE THESE PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY… 

Starting with Sheppard Smith, who said this

“I think we are in a weird place in the world when the following things are considered political. Five things, I’m going to tick them off. These are the five things that were on his and our president’s agenda. Caring for the marginalized and the poor — that’s now political. Advancing economic opportunity for all. Political? Serving as good stewards of the environment. Protecting religious minorities and promoting religious freedom globally. Welcoming [and] integrating immigrants and refugees globally. And that’s political?”

  

“I think these were the teachings in the Bible of Jesus. They’re the words of the pope, they’re the feelings of the president. And people who find themselves on the other side of that message should consult a mirror, it seems like.”

Shep, I really think you need to read your Bible, specifically Matthew 17:31 “Blessed are those who say ‘Fuck the poor’,” and the Letter From St. Paul to the EPA extolling the virtues of “clean coal”. 

Or maybe we’re reading different Bibles…

  

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MIKE HUCKABEE, CHRISTIAN

 
Mike Huckabee is not an egotistical man.

Mike Huckabee does not exploit people’s willingness to buy into an extremely bigoted brand of anti-homosexual rhetoric.

Mike Huckabee isn’t in it for himself.

Mine Huckabee just wants to do what Jesus calls all Christians to do: keep the gays from being married. And he’s calling you to speak out and do the same, shouting it from the rooftops!!!

  

…unless you’re Ted Cruz, in which case, sorry, there’s no more room at the bigotry lunch table…

  

When Mr. Cruz, who met with Ms. Davis, exited the Carter County Detention Center, a throng of journalists beckoned him toward their microphones, but an aide to Mr. Huckabee blocked the path of the senator, who appeared incredulous.

Soon after, Ms. Davis emerged, apparently wearing the same clothes she had worn in court Thursday. Mr. Huckabee stuck close by her side, along with Mr. Staver and her husband, Joe, as they approached the reporters and cameras. Ms. Davis remained silent, letting Mr. Staver and Mr. Huckabee do the talking.

  

Mr. Huckabee, a former Baptist pastor, cast the dispute as a matter of religious freedom threatened by overreaching courts, while Mr. Cruz stood to the side, keeping an unusually low profile.

“If you have to put someone in jail, let me go,” Mr. Huckabee told the crowd. “Every one of us will have to decide whether we want to keep this great country or whether we want to surrender and sacrifice it to tyranny.”

Let me go to jail, Huckabee continued, because I’m the only one here… Not that it’s about me. It’s totally about keeping the gays from getting married.

Pay no attention to the pasty white bigot shrouded behind my loyal apostle! I’m the bigot you’re looking for!

… Oh and also that lady, Kim whatshername? Davids? Davis? 

Like the Bible says, and Mike Huckabee well knows…

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus…

…but if you need to get some votes because you’re polling at like 2% in the US Presidential election, seriously, F#@% those other guys. 

– Phillipians 2:1-10

  

 And as the Bible also says, and Mike Huckabee well knows…

If I alone bear witness about myself, my testimony is not deemed true…
…but if you’re really smart about what Jesus thinks about the US Constitution, then you should talk about how smart you are. 

Duh.

– John 5:31

 God. Guns. Grits. Gravy. Gays.

  
I mean, no gays. 

Definitely no gays.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA! SORRY YOUR PARTY IS SO LAME.

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The FOURTH OF JULY is my FAVORITE day of the year… at least it used to be, until OBAMA and his PC, blame AMERICA first, FUN POLICE ruined it.

The signs of freedom’s decline are all around us, fellow PATRIOTS, and unless we SHOUT THEM FROM THE ROOFTOPS OF THE INTERNET, all will be lost.

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AMERICAN BADASS DIES LIKE AN AMERICAN–PISS DRUNK AND BUSTIN’ CAPS LIKE IT’S THE 4TH OF MOTHERF#@%ING JULY!

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You might not have heard of American country singer Randy Howard… if you’re a communist.

Every true American knows Randy Howard is the embodiment of American freedom– the freedom to live hard and rock harder.

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LIBERALS MADE UP POLICE BIAS, OR WHY IT’S OKAY TO CHOKE SOMEONE TO DEATH

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America is in a sorry state. Another police officer is being SLANDERED BY THE MEDIA for a CRIME THEY DIDN’T COMMIT.

And it all just goes to show how LIBERALS’ claims of RACIAL BIAS BY POLICE are COMPLETELY UNFOUNDED.

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A GUEST POST BY THE “ALWAYS SUNNY” GANG

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This post comes equipped with “TruthSound,” the soundtrack to your “TruthPerience.” (Click here to play)

There’s a lot of tension, violence, and racial disharmony in the town of Ferguson, Missouri after yesterday’s GRAND jury decision not to indict White Officer Darren Wilson in the shooting death of Young Black Man Michael Brown. Rather than create yet another belligerent op-ed piece about how the justice system is broken/blacks are inferior and violent, we thought we would invite a guest post from a group of people who can provide some rational perspective on this very polarized issue, the Gang from the hit FX show, “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.” Needless to say, what they sent us is not what we expected…

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F*** PEACE! THIS GOP CONGRESS IS GOING TO BE AN ASS KICKING CONGRESS! OH YEAH!

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REPUBLICANS finally got their balls back. No more of this isolationist bull-SPIT.

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THE ONE WHERE WE PREVIEW THE ELECTION…

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For more, follow Truthmissiles on twitter @truth_missiles.

Today is Election Day! And, for once, Republicans can go to the polls without fearing that America is going to foolishly vote for a black communist to destroy it!!

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