PATRIOTS, the old saying goes, “Screw you! We’re from Texas!” Well, NUMBER ONE PATRIOT LYIN’ TED CRUZ might have just come up with a better saying: “Screw you, Texas! I’m going to Mexico!” With millions of residents in his state suffering under dangerous freezing conditions, blackouts, no heat, and lack of potable water, this LYIN’ of the Senate did what any TRUE TRUMPIAN HERO would have done! He got the f*** out of there!
Ted flew off to SAFETY in the country he HATES the most, Mexico! Cancun to be exact! And he left his LOSER and SUCKER constituents to take care of themselves, because, like one CONSERVATIVE MAYOR in Ted’s state RIGHTLY scolded the suffering recently, “If you were sitting at home in the cold because you have no power and are sitting there waiting for someone to come rescue you because your lazy is direct result of your raising!”
Smart and literate!
Luckily, the former president’s border wall to keep the drug dealers and “rapists” out of Texas didn’t stop Lyin’s jet from making it to safety on the other side of it. IN MEXICO!
I’M NOT COGNITIVELY DISSONANT! YOU ARE, LIB!
LIBERALS WERE ALL OVER THE STORY of Lyin’ Ted’s HEROIC flee, which was first reported by notable LIB RAG, Fox News!
But, PATRIOTS, just because this ACT OF VALOR by Lyin’ Ted makes him look like the most callous, insensitive jerk who ever served in Congress, which is really saying something, THE LIBS ARE STILL MISSING THE POINT! What was Lyin’ supposed to do?!?! Help?
Puh-lease, libs! Nobody’s helping. Except Beto O’Rourke, that Democratic LOSER who LOST his senate bid against Lyin’ Ted, yet still helps suffering people in his state, LIKE A SUCKER! LIB! SHAME! LIB!
Hey, BEEE-TO, nobody needs help here! We’re just fine! In fact, we’re just fine without power or potable water! At least, that’s what Former Governor Rick Perry says, and he KNOWS ALMOST NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING, so he probably KNOWS A LOT about the opinions of his suffering and freezing former constituents.
“Texans would be without electricity for longer than three days to keep the federal government out of their business… Try not to let whatever the crisis of the day is take your eye off of having a resilient grid…”Former Texas Governor Rick Perry
Which Texas doesn’t have because… communism, I guess?
Things are going SO GOOD in Cruz’s home state of TEXAS that people aren’t even worried about not having electricity anymore (because they don’t have water now, either).
“Scores of Texans were under notice to boil tap water before drinking it after days of record low temperatures damaged infrastructure, caused blackouts and froze water pipes.“FAKE NEWS NBC (NOTHING BUT CRAP) News
LIBS just don’t get it. While they’re suffering UNDER SOCIALIST, LIB-O-CRATIC leadership in their big city, ivory towers with their… heat… and drinking water, they don’t understand the JOYS OF REAL FREEDOM. Freedom to SUFFER AND DIE FOR REPUBLICAN CONTROL OF OUR COUNTRY WITHOUT BIG, LIB GUBMINT TELLING ME TO LIVE!
Absolutely NOBODY in Texas needs any HELP from Lyin’ Ted Cruz, anyway. Except the kids in hospitals with no flushing toilets, AKA Scum-o-crats.
[A]t least two hospitals in the Austin metro area were being evacuated on Wednesday night due to a lack of hot water and heat. Matt Largey, an editor at Austin’s NPR station KUT, tweeted out a statement from St. David’s South Austin Medical Center on Wednesday that confirmed that the hospital was in the process of evacuating some of its “just under 300 patients” from the facility after it “lost water pressure today from the City of Austin.” … Minutes later, Largey reported that Dell Children’s Medical Center, a pediatric hospital located in Austin, was also without power. In an accompanying statement from the hospital sent from a source, officials confirmed that “extreme weather conditions” had resulted in the facility experiencing “interruptions in service,” and noted that the toilets there did not currently have “flushing capabilities.”Gizmodo
Flushing toilets at children’s hospitals are overrated anyway. You gotta teach those kids about FREE MARKET ECONOMICS early, or else they’ll never understand later why they’re being forced to freeze to death without drinking water so their Senators can take a vacation in Mexico–I mean, so capitalism.
The answer to that question, of course, is GUNS. Don’t get it? That’s because you’re a socialist! SOCIALIST!
NOTED CONSERVATIVE CRIMINAL Dinesh D’Souza gets it. WHAT IS LYIN’ TED SUPPOSED TO DO? Flying to Mexico and abandoning his state is actually the MOST HELPFUL thing Lyin’ Ted can do! That’s effective leadership!
Ted Cruz REALLY IS THE BEST! He’s helping more than anyone else, by NOT HELPING AT ALL! It’s called pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps, Texas. Sure, you don’t have drinking water, or heat, or for some, life, but think of all the things you still DO HAVE! Like, GUNS! And…
I can’t think of anything else, but, the important thing is that you remember, you’re suffering so that you can be free! Or, so the owner of the Dallas Cowboys can make money, I guess. SAME THING!
Comstock Resources chief financial officer Roland Burns acknowledged that the company had “hit the jackpot” as it sold gas from its Haynesville Shale wells in East Texas on the spot market for a price between $15 and $179 per cubic feet… “This week is like hitting the jackpot with some of these incredible prices,” Burns said during an earnings call on Wednesday… [Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry] Jones… controls a 73 percent share in Comstock, according to the company’s 2020 proxy statement.Newsweek
Hey, it might seem bad, Texas, but just remember… guns. No big government LIBS will be able to pry them from your FROZEN hands now!
PATRIOTS, Senator Ron Johnson of the GOP (GOVERNMENT OVERTHROW PARTY) has a message for all the STUPID, IDIOT LEFTISTS who GOT TRIGGERED by the thousands of armed Trump supporters who invaded the U.S. Capitol on January 6th chanting “Hang Pence!” and looking for members of Congress to kill. NONE OF THAT HAPPENED, YOU LYING LEFTIST LIBS!
PATRIOTS, nevermind the pictures, the videos, and the confessions made by the participants. Nevermind that thousands of people in TRUMP attire stormed the capitol and attempted to overthrow the government. Nevermind the bombs planted at party headquarters that day, and the dead body of the police officer that the TRUMP supporters murdered. THAT’S ALL JUST LAMESTREAM, LIBTARD SPIN! The SIMPLE FACT OF THE MATTER is that this insurrection was actually a NOT-SURRECTION, because contrary to what the LIBERAL, LEFTIST SCUM called cameras and microphones tell your eyes and ears, it didn’t even happen.
RON JOHNSON’S COMING IN HOT with a heat-seeking truth-bomb for all the SCUM OF THE EARTH who want “reality” to be based on “facts,” “sworn confessions,” and “visual evidence.” That message: just SHUT THE F*** UP, FORGET WHAT YOU SAW, AND GET IN LINE WITH THE PARTY LINE!
“This didn’t seem like an armed insurrection to me.”SEN. RON JOHNSON (R-WI)
What is wrong with all these dumb libs who want to insist that there was an armed insurrection at the Capitol? I didn’t see any armed insurrection at the Capitol! No one did! And if anyone tries to say they did, TRUMPERS WILL BURN THAT MOTHERF***ING CAPITOL TO THE GROUND WITH THEIR FLAMETHROWERS! Not armed!
So here’s what me and RUSSIA RON have to say to all you fact-hugging LIB-SCUM-O-CRATS! Learn how to minimize and justify terrorist attacks against your country! Otherwise, you might never reach your political goals! JUST MAN THE F*** UP AND HATE YOUR COUNTRY, YOU SICK, STUPID LIBS!
And you know why me and RUSSIAN RON are not scared of that FAKE “armed insurrection,” libs? Because that armed insurrection was there to kill YOU, not US! And we are sure it will never come for us, because we’ll never stop defending its murderous participants, no matter how badly they try to harm America!
RUSSIAN RON wasn’t done, libs!
“I mean ‘armed,’ when you hear ‘armed,’ don’t you think of firearms? Here’s the questions I would have liked to ask. How many firearms were confiscated? How many shots were fired? I’m only aware of one and I’ll defend that law enforcement officer for taking that shot. It was a tragedy, OK? But I think there was only one.”Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI)
Firearms? FIREARMS!?!?! I mean… my gosh. What are these STUPID LIBS even talking about?
Just because police recovered a dozen guns and thousands of rounds of ammunition from people arrested for their involvement in the Jan. 6 attack that killed five people, according to NBC News, and just because the insurrectionists used a stun gun to attack and incapacitate a police officer, giving him a heart attack, THAT DOESN’T MEAN THEY WERE ARMED, YOU STUPID, STUPID LIBS! THEY WEREN’T ARMED! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL! STOP INFRINGING ON MY RIGHTS! I DON’T WANT THE LIBERAL TRUTH YOU’RE SPINNING! TUCKER! HANNITY! JUDGE JEANINE! HELP! HELP! HELP! THE LIB IS ON ME! GET IT OFF!
Russian Ron Johnson doesn’t care about your precious “country,” libs! Russian Ron follows the teachings of the FOUNDERS, you know, the guys who set the example for this GREAT COUNTRY, that, sometimes, patriots have to try to destroy! Now, STUPID LIBS might tell you the founders were people like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, etc. WRONG! You know who founded this country? TRUMP! How do I know? Because, I learned from TRUMP that I don’t need my STUPID, LIBERAL BRAIN! All the learning I need is in my mouth! When my mouth speaks, I listen! My mouth asked who founded America, and my mouth also answers every question with the same answer: TRUMP!
Where does my mouth get it’s information from? I don’t know! I don’t ask dumb questions! My mouth said Trump is the founder, so I believe it! Russian Ron gets his facts from the same place, except at the other end of the pipe! My mouth calls it his “reverse mouth.”
LIBS CALL IT HIS ASS!
WE DON’T NEED OUR LYIN’ BRAINS ANYMORE LIBS! There was no armed insurrection! There was no incitement! There was no crime at all! Are me and Russian Ron Johnson INSANE?
DOESN’T “SEEM” LIKE IT TO ME!
PATRIOTS, there are a lot of things I won’t tolerate. Communism, Government regulation, Fast Food restaurants getting my order wrong. But at the top of that list is SPINELESS COWARDS! That’s why I was so RELIEVED to find out that House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy is a man of COURAGE AND PRINCIPLE, not like those STUPID LIBS! McCarthy says what he means, and you know when he speaks, it comes from the HEART. He’s a straight shooter.
That’s why, when confronted with the difficult decision over whether to punish a member of his own party who helped incite the Capitol Insurrection, called for the execution of Democrats, spread ridiculous anti-semitic claims, and promoted dangerous QAnon claims, McCarthy chose to PATRIOTICALLY LIE and say, “I don’t know what any of that is. Gosh, I’m just a simple COUNTRY BOY from California. I don’t know what nothin’ about runnin’ a political caucus. Q-what? I talked to that crazy lady, and boy howdy, she sure sounded nice to me, but I don’t much remember ’bout what she was on about, and I can’t even repeat it myself, but, it was some good ‘splainin’. You can take my word on that!”
I’m paraphrasing, of course.
“I think it would be helpful if you could hear exactly what she told all us, denouncing Q-on, I don’t know if I say it right, I don’t even know what it is– any from the shootings, she said she knew nothing about lasers, or all the different things that have been brought up about her.”GOP Leader Kevin “SPINELESS PATRIOT” McCarthy
McCarthy will not punish Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), who has not publicly disavowed any of the WILD, DANGEROUS INCITEMENTS she has uttered. Why won’t McCarthy punish her? Because she said something to him in private, and he can’t seem to articulate what it was, but now, it’s all good. Trust him.
Is Taylor Greene going to publicly walk back her claims that Democrats should be executed with a bullet to the head, or that Jews built a space laser to start the California wildfires, or that all school shootings were FALSE FLAG OPERATIONS, with fake dead children, so that the government could take PATRTIOTS’ GUNS AWAY?
The important thing is that we just move on from this REAL CRISIS OF GOVERNANCE, in order to focus on IMAGINARY DEMOCRATIC SCANDALS, like Hidin’ Joe Biden’s senility.
And never mind that even the MOST CYNICAL RIGHT WING LUNATIC has called Marjorie Taylor Greene a “cancer.” That don’t bother McCarthy what nothin’!
In fact, Kevin McCarthy, REPUBLICAN LEADER, is so sure he DOESN’T EVEN KNOW what QAnon, or “Q-on” as he calls it, is, he said SIX MONTHS AGO that he denounces QAnon!
Now, stupid LIBS will say that this PROVES that Kevin McCarthy is a FULL OF S***, SPINELESS COWARD who will burn our country to the ground before he admonishes the dangerous behavior of even the most LOWLY LUNATIC in his caucus. BUT THE LIBS ARE STUPID! They don’t get it! They only see the FACTS IN FRONT OF THEIR FACES AND NOT THE BIGGER TRUTH!
The TRUTH, sheeple, is that Kevin McCarthy did not FLIP FLOP. He didn’t lie to protect a violent, deranged gun nut 9/11 truther’s place on the House Education Committee! Clearly, the most obvious explanation is that Kevin McCarthy was replaced by a BODY DOUBLE, a Democratic Double Agent, manufactured in a lab run by George Soros! THAT BODY DOUBLE, Qevin McQarthy, learned all about QAnon, and denounced it, LIKE A SICK, TWISTED LEFTIST WHO LOVES AMERICA! But, then, surprise, the real Kevin McCarthy escaped from the SPACE PRISON where Barack Obama was holding him hostage, AFTER BEAMING HIM UP WITH GEORGE SOROS’ JEWISH SPACE LASER, and McCarthy beamed back down to Earth to tell everyone the truth: THAT HE HAS NO IDEA what Q-ON is, and HE TOTALLY SUPPORTS EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTS IT, despite not knowing what it is.
And also, as he said in a statement, “Past comments from and endorsed by Marjorie Taylor Greene on school shootings, political violence, and anti-Semitic conspiracy theories do not represent the values or beliefs of the House Republican Conference.” There you go!
THAT makes so much more sense than KEVIN MCCARTHY IS A SPINELESS COWARD!
Kevin McCarthy. Hero. Cry more, lib!
Unfortunately, Kevin McCarthy can’t save Marjorie Taylor Greene’s VALUABLE PLACE on the House Education Committee. It looks like SOROS and the JEWS win again! The Dems are likely to VOTE her off her committee assignments later today.
PATRIOTS, I’m no anti-semite, but I certainly think it’s fair game to ask whether ALL of the problems currently troubling our GREAT COUNTRY and our GREAT REPUBLICAN PARTY can be blamed on a SECRET JEWISH SPACE LASER. It’s not SO CRAZY if you DON’T think about it! This question isn’t just being asked by WINGNUTS like myself, but FULL-FLEDGED lawmakers in the Republican Party, like Marjorie Taylor Greene, easily the most PATRIOTIC AMERICAN PATRIOT since Dennis Rodman!
Representative Trailer Queen–I mean Taylor Greene–has SET A NEW BAR for WILDLY OFFENSIVE CONSPIRACY THEORIES since getting elected to the People’s House on a PERFECTLY SANE GOP platform of QAnon conspiracy fearmongering, like stopping Democrats from allegedly harvesting the organs of children in Satanic rituals, something that was obviously TOTALLY REAL and near-and-dear to the hearts of her PERFECTLY SANE constituents in Georgia (what the HELL is up with that state electing two Democrats to the Senate and Greene to the House?!?!). But that’s just the tip of the iceberg for this WOMAN OF GOD AND AMERICA! Greene believes ALL SCHOOL SHOOTINGS are staged hoaxes, 9/11 was an inside job by the U.S. government, Muslims shouldn’t be allowed to serve in government, and Democrats should be executed. ALL THINGS THAT MAKE TOTAL SENSE IF YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THEM, AND YOU ARE ALSO TOTALLY INSANE. (Which is why Trump supporters loved her!) BUT PATRIOTS, ALL OF THAT WAS JUST THE WARMUP ACT!
For JEWISH SPACE LASER!
PATRIOTS, there is no comedic set up that can make this report by New York Magazine any funnier, or more terrifying, than it already is:
The most recent Greene view to be unearthed comes via Eric Hananoki. Just over two years ago, Greene suggested in a Facebook post that wildfires in California were not natural. Forests don’t just catch fire, you know. Rather, the blazes had been started by PG&E, in conjunction with the Rothschilds, using a space laser, in order to clear room for a high-speed rail project. Here is Greene’s entire post, via Media Matters:
Did you get all that? No? Neither did I. Really, it’s one of the most PATRIOTICALLY INSANE things ever written by a member of Congress. In fact, while we can debate the legal grounds for expulsion from the House of Representatives, which many Dems have called for, there can really be NO DEBATE that these views rise to the level of making Marjorie Taylor Greene an EXTREME DANGER to the AMERICAN PEOPLE! She certainly, has no BUSINESS BEING IN CONGRESS! She needs to be in a MENTAL HOSPITAL!
WHICH IS WHY I SUPPORT HER!
You see, as a TRUMP SUPPORTER, like GameStop stock, my entire connection with facts & reality has been COMPLETELY severed. I no longer live on this plane of existence. I am purely what I and others imagine myself to be! In the FANTASY WORLD I inhabit, again, as an avowed TRUMP SUPPORTER, all of the PROVABLY FALSE things Marjorie Taylor Greene has said are true! TRUE, BECAUSE THEY ARE FALSE, you see! It doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to keep reinforcing the INFINITE FEEDBACK loop of the Republican Party, like buying a stock makes a stock a good buy! CAPITALISM! If everything Trump and the GOP do is good, then everything bad is good; and, if everything bad is good, everything false must also be true! Then, in this ALTERNATE REALITY OF TRUMP AND GOP ALTERNATIVE FACTS, Marjorie Taylor Greene is not the greatest threat to America, she is our greatest asset. We are no longer bound by the constraints of TRUTH in OUR PARTY, and in OUR COUNTRY, sir! WE ARE THE JEWISH SPACE LASER OF POLITICAL PARTIES! RACIST, ANTI-SEMITIC, ONLY MAKING SENSE INSIDE OUR OWN MINDS, AND THE GREATEST THREAT TO THE PLANET EARTH IN EXISTENCE! WE ARE PATRIOTS!
And, Republican House Leader Kevin McCarthy feels the same way. He’s not listening to those stupid Democrats who think Marjorie Taylor Greene is a threat, just because she is threatening our country and her fellow members of Congress. McCarthy knows that Marjorie Taylor Greene IS THE GOP! AND, WE COULD LEARN A THING OR TWO FROM HER INSANITY. That’s why the GOP PUT HER ON THE EDUCATION COMMITTEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME? THIS CAN’T BE REAL LIFE! IS IT? ARE YOU SURE? DID I GET HIT IN THE HEAD!?!?!?! THE EDUCATION COMMITTEE?!?!?!)
CRAZY NANCY had a typically crazy response to this TOTALLY SANE MOVE by the GOP to put the school shooting truther on the education committee!
“Assigning her to the Education Committee when she has mocked the killing of little children at Sandy Hook Elementary School, when she has mocked the killing of teenagers in high school at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school — what could they be thinking? Or is thinking too generous a word for what they might be doing?”‘CRAZY’ Nancy Pelosi
Very generous, Nancy!
And, THE GOP totally knew Marjorie Taylor Greene was TOTALLY CRAZY a long time ago, but Kevin McCarthy, “did little to stop her,” Axios reports. According to Greene’s LOSER primary opponent John Cowan, LOSER, “Everybody was well aware of her previous persona and who she is. I would say they all knew she was going to be a problem… Maybe they just assumed that the awe of winning an election would calm her down a little bit, and so she would actually be interested in governing and be interested in policy, and she’s just clearly not. She is literally there for a stage production.”
HEY JOHN, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, CRAZY TALKS AND SANITY WALKS IN THE GOP! SO WHY ARE YOU IN IT?
But CoMpLeTe SaNiTy talks, too. Because Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy has a solution to Marjorie Taylor Greene’s “deeply disturbing” and PATRIOTIC belief that everything she can see with her eyes is FAKE, Democrats need to be SHOT, and JEWISH SPACE LASERS are real.
“These comments are deeply disturbing and Leader McCarthy plans to have a conversation with the Congresswoman about them,” spokesman Mark Bednar told CNN.CNN (Clinton News Network)
CONVERSATION! Right. I’m sure that’ll fix everything, because everyone knows when you run into a CRAZY TRUMP SUPPORTER, a good, fact based conversation usually changes their mind.
PATRIOTS, there’s nothing we TRUMP-FLUFFERS love more than a good BOTH-SIDES-ing! I nearly blew my pants off when TRUMP said in 2017 that there were “very fine people on both sides” of the WHITE SUPREMACIST NAZI mob that heroically terrorized Charlottesville, VA, and killed one woman, and I didn’t think anything could TOP that. Well, I was wrong, because Republican Representative Ken Buck (R-CO) TOPPED that BIGLY this morning on CNN! So BIGLY tHaT i CrEaMeD mY tRuMp FlAg!
Ken Buck fact-f***ed CNN’s lib-hard host back to lib-o-stan when he reminded him that “both sides are at fault” for the mob violence and coup attempt that the president incited at the Capitol Building last week, in response to Democracy’s VERY UNFAIR treatment of the PRESIDENT.
“To say that there’s one speech or one incident that caused this group of people to storm the Capitol is just not accurate. What I’m trying to suggest to you is that both sides are at fault and that in America, we need to be very careful of the words we use.”Rep. Ken Buck (R-CO)
Buck’s TRUTHSTORM triggered Clinton News Network host John Berman, who couldn’t believe Buck–himself a potential target of the president’s violent, pre-meditated attack on Democracy–would suggest that Democrats were to blame. Berman SNOWFLAKED so hard while he asked Buck to justify his PATRIOTICALLY INSANE remarks, simply because they made NO SENSE, and BUCK responded by Trump, Trump, Trumping Berman right up the TRUTH HOLE, reducing him to a screaming puddle of leftist tears! MAGA (Make America Grieve Again), baby! “What did the other side do?” Buck asked incredulously. “You’re asking me what Democrats have done to make the MAGA crowd mad?”
What a STUPIDLY intelligent question!
Berman didn’t allow BUCK to FINISH HIS BIG LIE, so I’ll do it for him.
THE DEMOCRATS COUNTED THE VOTES! THE DEMOCRATS DIDN’T LIE TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE! THE DEMOCRATS TOLD TRUMP SUPPORTERS THAT TRUMP LOST, JUST BECAUSE HE DID! THEY DIDN’T JOIN THE CRUZ-HAWLEY-BROOKS DENIAL & FASCISM CAUCUS TO OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT! And for these TREASONOUS CRIMES AGAINST TRUMP, I SAY…
HANG ‘EM HIGH!
And I’ve been doing some research, PATRIOTS. Turns out American history is littered with SNOWFLAKES who loved their precious Democracy more than terrorism-installed PATRIOTIC fascism for TRUMP. Jefferson, Washington, Adams–these are just some of the VILLAINS OF AMERICAN HISTORY who should have been hung for trying to BRAINWASH THE AMERICAN people with the EVILS of TRUTH and DEMOCRATIC ELECTIONS!
HANG EM HIGH! Dig up their corpses, and string them up! They must be punished, just like those who stand with freedom and therefore against TRUMP! We’Re NoT cRaZy!
BOTH SIDES ARE TO BLAME FOR THIS VIOLENCE! Sure, there might be a little blame for the TRUMP supporters and the president who plotted in advance to assassinate the Vice President and Speaker of the House during the certification of Electoral College votes, but MOST OF THE BLAME goes to the LIBERAL LEFTISTS who woke up on the morning of January 6th determined to selflessly do their duty to Democracy and America, the two BIGGEST ENEMIES of TRUMP! Sure, I guess Democracy has some value, but TRUMP is more important! TRUMP is AMERICA! TRUMP is FREEDOM! TRUMP is TRUTH!
The LEFT is the to blame!
The LEFT is to blame because sitting Republican members of Congress allegedly gave the TRUMP coup plotters “reconnaissance” tours of the Capitol building on the day before the TRUMP mob breached its walls in search of Congressional and Vice Presidential blood. BOTH SIDES!
The LEFT is to blame because the TRUMP WHITE HOUSE was reportedly in contact with the rioters as they were roaming the halls of Congress, looking for legislators to take hostage or kill. BOTH SIDES!
The LEFT is to blame because Democratic Rep. Ayanna Pressley’s staff discovered that all the panic buttons in her office had been “torn out” before the coup attempt and they discovered this once the TRUMP MOB had breached the Capitol with intent to harm her. BOTH SIDES! SHAME!
The LEFT is to blame because Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez “thought [she] was going to die,” at one point during the coup and siege when she had a “very close encounter” with the TRUMP supporting violent mob. “It was not an exaggeration to say that many members of the House were nearly assassinated,” she added, like a LEFTIST!
The LEFT is to blame because Republican members of Congress are now refusing to submit to the metal detectors that had to be installed outside the House of Representatives’ floor because one of their colleagues is publicly bragging about how she is going to continue to carry a firearm inside the Capitol in violation of D.C. law, and that same member was live tweeting Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s location to the insurrectionists during the Capitol siege. BOTH SIDES!
And, yes, this just seems like a list of things REPUBLICANS have selfishly done to, at best, endanger our government, and at worst, willingly commit insurrection and participate in a coup attempt for TRUMP, but make no mistake, this attempt to kill Democratic members of Congress and prevent a duly elected Democrat from being sworn in as president is the FAULT OF BOTH SIDES!
ASSHOLE KEN BUCK SAYS SO! THAT’S WHY!
WHY DOES HE SAY SO?
I DON’T KNOW WHY! MAYBE HE JUST WANTS TO SEE THE NEXT COUP SUCCEED! AnD wHaT’s WrOnG wItH tHaT?
TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!
These colors don’t THINK!
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PATRIOTS, there are two things you need to remember. Number one, Donald Trump is not responsible for inciting that PATRIOTIC terrorist attack on the Capitol Building that he totally supports; he had nothing to do with it! Because his pre-coup attempt speech was “totally appropriate” (his unhinged words, not mine)! Number two, TRUMP wants his supporters to FIGHT TO THE DEATH to defend his fact-free claim that he won the 2020 presidential election! Got that? He’s not responsible for the fight! But he IS going to fight like hell! No contradiction here, PATRIOTS!
That’s why Donald Trump is headed to Alamo, Texas, today! Because we’re making our last stand! Our last, bloody, defiant, fight-to-the-death stand that has nothing to do with fighting, or death, which the president doesn’t support, but it would be totally cool for him to support it, if he did, according to him!
The president’s niece, Mary Trump, knows. She says the president is going to Alamo, Texas because he “undoubtedly” wants to invoke the violent symbolism behind the historic battle of the Alamo, where almost everyone died. And LOVING PRESIDENT T wants the same for all PATRIOTS and their families!
His heart is in the RIGHT place! Unfortunately, his location is about 225 miles off. Because THE ALAMO, the site of the famous battle Trump is apparently trying to invoke, is in San Antonio. And Alamo, Texas, where the president is headed, is not. But, knowing Trump, it’s possible he meant for his visit to take place at an Alamo Rent-a-car, in part of some kind of synergistic branding attempt, like his fraud press conference at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping.
But, if there’s one POSITIVE to come from the president’s HACKNEYED attempt to equate himself with those who died fighting at the Alamo, it’s that he has stoked the potential for more bloodshed! The president’s trip to Alamo “has Texas on edge and tensions a[re] ‘running dangerously high,’ according to Hidalgo County Judge Richard Cortez,” the Houston Chronicle reports.
Sometimes, though, you need a little light threatening to EXPERIENCE MAXIMUM FREEDOM. Republican Representative and HITLER ENTHUSIAST, Madison Cawthorn knows. Sure, Cawthorn called the terror attack on the Capitol by Trump supporters “sickening,” but that was AFTER the attack. Before the attack, he was on stage at the “Save America” rally helping incite Trump supporters’ attempt to execute the Vice President and Speaker of the House. And, we learned today that Cawthorn encouraged Trump supporters who didn’t want to accept the MATH of the election results to call and “lightly threaten” their Congressmen, and to tell them that they are “coming after them.” If that’s not AMERICAN VALUES, then I don’t want to be an American anymore! I want to be like Madison Cawthorn and IDOLIZE A REAL PATRIOT, LIKE HITLER!
And before all the HATEFUL LEFTISTS get their panties in a bunch over Cawthorn’s words, which were met with raucous applause by the Trump supporters, I’d like to just point out there is ABSOLUTELY NO CONNECTION between Cawthorn’s encouragement of violent threats and the actions of Trump supporters who DID EXACTLY THAT!
Uh-oh, I’m starting to get dizzy from the smell of my own bullshit. Better get my head back in the game!
TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!
Okay, ready to get back to terrorizing America because I jUsT lOvE tHiS cOuNtRy So GoDdAmN mUcH!
ThEy’Re TrYiN’ tO rUiN mY lIfE bY cAlLiNg Me A tErRoRiSt!
And you know it was PATRIOTIC because there was a guy who looked like Chuck Norris at the “Murder the Vice President and House Speaker Rally” in Washington, too, even though it wasn’t really him.
In the end, a representative for Norris confirmed the man was not Chuck Norris, it was just a “look alike.” But rest assured, Chuck Norris still loves TRUMP! Well, you know what they say, “Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. . . except that books don’t really work that way, so it turns out Chuck Norris is a fucking idiot.”
“They were talking about 4,000 armed ‘patriots’ to surround the Capitol and prevent any Democrat from going in,” [Rep. Connor] Lamb [D-Pa] said. “They have published rules of engagement, meaning when you shoot and when you don’t. So this is an organized group that has a plan. They are committed to doing what they’re doing because I think in their minds, you know, they are patriots and they’re talking about 1776 and so this is now a contest of wills.”
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First he tries to tell us the climate is changing.
And just because he’s “infallible” we’re supposed to believe him.
Nice try Pope, but would an infallible man drive a FIAT??? I think not.
What fun is that?
This conviction has led me, from the beginning of my ministry, to advocate at different levels for the global abolition of the death penalty. I am convinced that this way is the best, since every life is sacred, every human person is endowed with an inalienable dignity, and society can only benefit from the rehabilitation of those convicted of crimes. Recently my brother bishops here in the United States renewed their call for the abolition of the death penalty. Not only do I support them, but I also offer encouragement to all those who are convinced that a just and necessary punishment must never exclude the dimension of hope and the goal of rehabilitation.
“Eye for an eye,” that’s what the REAL, OLD-SCHOOL GOD taught. None of this PC, liberal “Do unto others” BS that the Pope and his buddy “Jesus” are laying down. Go back to your Bernie Sanders rally, hippies.
Coincidentally, the Pope also laid that “Do unto others” propaganda down during his speech to congress…
We need to avoid a common temptation nowadays: to discard whatever proves troublesome. Let us remember the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
What?!?! “Discard whatever proves troublesome” is LITERALLY the motto that Fox News reporters live by when they report their stories. I’m beginning to think this Pope doesn’t understand anything about being a Christian (Conservative). He needs to stop taking selfies and watch some Hannity.
Speaking of watching Hannity, I’m hoping that’s where Supreme Court Justices (and people who have the power to abolish the death penalty) Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, and Antonin Scalia were, because they WISELY decided not to attend Pope-bama’s speech. That’s right, the three CATHOLIC Supreme Court justices who support the death penalty couldn’t find time in their busy schedules to see the Pope. I applaud this. Why would these all-powerful, lifetime appointees take time for a lowly elected official like the Pope. It would really be beneath them as, I’m assuming, would be listening to God’s representative on Earth.
But while these three old men did well in cowering from the dangerous message of peace and acceptance delivered by an elderly, foreign man in a white robe, the real hero of the day was Republican Congressman Paul Gosar. Yes, this proud member of the United States Congress boldly condemned the Pope for making EVERY. FUCKING. THING. into a divisive, poltical talking point.
As he wrote in a blistering, anti-Pope, liberty-sausage of an editorial for TownHall…
Media reports indicate His Holiness…intends to focus the brunt of his speech on climate change– a climate that has been changing since first created in Genesis. More troubling is the fact that this climate change talk has adopted all of the socialist talking points, wrapped false science and ideology into “climate justice” and is being presented to guilt people into leftist policies… If the Pope plans to spend the majority of his time advocating for flawed climate change policies, then I will not attend.
And he did not attend. As Daily Kos put it, the Catholic Congressman was, “not willing to walk about 500 feet from his office in Cannon to the Capitol.” Suck on that, Pope, you self-righteous dick! Who do you think you are to spew your Communist ideas in PAUL GOSAR’S WORKPLACE?!?! WHO ARE YOU to make PAUL GOSAR walk 500 feet?!?! THIS IS AMERICA! NOBODY walks 500 feet, here!
…Unless we’re walking to the ranch of a crazy racist who wants to start a shooting war with the U.S. Government. Paul Gosar did that…
…last year the congressman had the interest and the time to travel thousands of miles to criminal rancher Cliven Bundy’s compound in Nevada. Gosar joined a knuckle-dragging gaggle of Arizona legislators like Chemtrail Queen Sen. Kelli Ward, who caravanned to the armed camp during the standoff with BLM. The Arizonans took photographs with the bigot Bundy and spoke with local media about freedumb and shit, then returned home and plastered the pictures on their websites—that is until the old coot told the world what he knows “about the Negro.” Then the web photos disappeared…
Racist rancher, Paul Gosar, Death Penalty, Not Doing Unto Others=Good.
Got it? Okay, great. Now let’s get to work.
Of course, there are some who seem to have fallen under the spell of the Pontiff’s DANGEROUS MESSAGE OF LOVE FOR OUR FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS.
I am calling on Fox News to FIRE THESE PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY…
Starting with Sheppard Smith, who said this…
“I think we are in a weird place in the world when the following things are considered political. Five things, I’m going to tick them off. These are the five things that were on his and our president’s agenda. Caring for the marginalized and the poor — that’s now political. Advancing economic opportunity for all. Political? Serving as good stewards of the environment. Protecting religious minorities and promoting religious freedom globally. Welcoming [and] integrating immigrants and refugees globally. And that’s political?”
“I think these were the teachings in the Bible of Jesus. They’re the words of the pope, they’re the feelings of the president. And people who find themselves on the other side of that message should consult a mirror, it seems like.”
Shep, I really think you need to read your Bible, specifically Matthew 17:31 “Blessed are those who say ‘Fuck the poor’,” and the Letter From St. Paul to the EPA extolling the virtues of “clean coal”.
Or maybe we’re reading different Bibles…
Mike Huckabee does not exploit people’s willingness to buy into an extremely bigoted brand of anti-homosexual rhetoric.
Mike Huckabee isn’t in it for himself.
Mine Huckabee just wants to do what Jesus calls all Christians to do: keep the gays from being married. And he’s calling you to speak out and do the same, shouting it from the rooftops!!!
…unless you’re Ted Cruz, in which case, sorry, there’s no more room at the bigotry lunch table…
When Mr. Cruz, who met with Ms. Davis, exited the Carter County Detention Center, a throng of journalists beckoned him toward their microphones, but an aide to Mr. Huckabee blocked the path of the senator, who appeared incredulous.
Soon after, Ms. Davis emerged, apparently wearing the same clothes she had worn in court Thursday. Mr. Huckabee stuck close by her side, along with Mr. Staver and her husband, Joe, as they approached the reporters and cameras. Ms. Davis remained silent, letting Mr. Staver and Mr. Huckabee do the talking.
Mr. Huckabee, a former Baptist pastor, cast the dispute as a matter of religious freedom threatened by overreaching courts, while Mr. Cruz stood to the side, keeping an unusually low profile.
“If you have to put someone in jail, let me go,” Mr. Huckabee told the crowd. “Every one of us will have to decide whether we want to keep this great country or whether we want to surrender and sacrifice it to tyranny.”
Let me go to jail, Huckabee continued, because I’m the only one here… Not that it’s about me. It’s totally about keeping the gays from getting married.
Pay no attention to the pasty white bigot shrouded behind my loyal apostle! I’m the bigot you’re looking for!
… Oh and also that lady, Kim whatshername? Davids? Davis?
Like the Bible says, and Mike Huckabee well knows…
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus…
…but if you need to get some votes because you’re polling at like 2% in the US Presidential election, seriously, F#@% those other guys.
– Phillipians 2:1-10
If I alone bear witness about myself, my testimony is not deemed true…
…but if you’re really smart about what Jesus thinks about the US Constitution, then you should talk about how smart you are.
– John 5:31
God. Guns. Grits. Gravy. Gays.
Definitely no gays.