PATRIOTS, for nine months, Americans have been suffering, struggling to pay rent, pay for food, and pay for pretty much anything that isn’t free. But fear not, AMERICAN SUBJECTS, because heroic Republicans are here to help (finally)! After nine months of blocking passage of a Democratic bill that would have offered much-needed relief to suffering Americans, we’ve seen a TRUE GREAT CONJUNCTION, a once-in-800-year-event, and Republican Senators are BACK IN WASHINGTON AGAIN, to vote against much-needed relief!
The COMMUNISTS behind the new WEALTH STEAL BILL want to take $600 out of the JOB CREATOR’S pocket and send it to every long-suffering American whose lives have been upended by Republicans’ pro-pandemic policies, when those Americans have ONLY been suffering for nine months! TALK ABOUT LEFTIST ECONOMIC POLICY! Why don’t we just take some of that money that should go to the rich and give it to the poor? I mean (laughs nervously while waiting for everyone to agree with me). . . it’s just. . . so ridiculous.
Six Republican Senate PATRIOTS knew that this LIBERAL LEFTIST HANDOUT crafted by Republican Leader Mitch McConnell was far too generous to WELFARE QUEENS like the 20% of American adults who can’t afford to feed their children. So those CONSERVATIVE HEROES, who have heroically supported President Trump’s 4-year struggle to reach RECORD deficit levels–Senators Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee, Ted Cruz of Texas, Ron Johnson of Wisconsin, Mike Lee of Utah, Rand Paul of Kentucky and Rick Scott of Florida–voted “HELL NO” on this OVERLY-GENEROUS, LEFTIST handout of $600 to every American.
SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS?! That’s a whopping $20 for every week of suffering since the first CARES Act was signed by President T on March 27! Why don’t we just give every American healthcare while we’re at it? Why don’t we just give everyone the Taj Mahal for CHRISTmas?
If these WELFARE QUEENS can’t live on $20 a week, maybe they need to get a job as a Wall Street Executive so they can learn something about FINANCE!
Unfortunately, Patriots, the bill passed the Senate 92 to 6, and so now, it’s up to PRESIDENT Donald Trump to stop it with a veto! Something he doesn’t seem to want to do, but just give it some time, because he usually comes through and does what’s worst for the American people. Have faith, PATRIOTS!
Meanwhile, those Republican heroes who opposed the massive $600 COMMIE WAGE, as I call it, stood up to the fact that millions are unable to afford food, by pointing out some TRUE fake lies about the bill! Trump supporters around the internet are pushing the president to VETO the bill based on the ALTERNATIVE FACT that the bill contains billions of dollars for FOREIGN countries like Israel and Egypt, and LIBERAL priorities like the KENNEDY CENTER! And just because that claim wasn’t in any way TRUE, lib-o-crats got IMMEDIATELY TRIGGERED by this attempt to torpedo their $600 GOLDEN GOOSE!
It doesn’t matter if my opposition is real or not, if this bill is going to give even a sliver of financial help to Americans while Donald J(ust trying to kill every American citizen) Trump is still MY PRESIDENT, he MUST VETO!!!!!!
GET ON THE TRUMP TRAIN, PATRIOTS, and OPPOSE THAT MEASLEY $600 CHECK. Let’s get a BIGGER STIMULUS check, just like the one MY PRESIDENT Donald Trump opposed in July along with the more generous COVID relief bill that would have included things like, oh, let’s see, more generous unemployment benefits for struggling Americans. Wait, I’m confused. . . what exactly do I stand for as a REAL PATRIOT? I’m against the $600 check, but I’m also against the more generous bill because PRESIDENT T opposed it, but he agreed with the Republicans who I’m also against because they supported the $600 bill. My head hurts!
As a PATRIOT, what the f*** do I support?
Oh, I think I figured it out!
We will not be satisfied until we get what we really want: NOTHING. NOTHING OR NOTHING, LIBS! Your choice.
Meanwhile, let’s make sure we, as TRUE REPUBLICAN PATRIOTS keep CONSERVATIVE politicians in office. People like Republican Senator Joni Ernst of Iowa, who claimed a few months ago that the EVIL doctors and nurses risking their lives at hospitals were FALSIFYING death certificates in order to inflate COVID statistics! Yesterday, Sen. Ernst did what any good PATRIOT would do and jumped ahead of those healthcare workers in the line to get the life-saving vaccine for the virus she helped spread through false conspiracy theories! If those aren’t REPUBLICAN VALUES, I don’t know what are!
Also getting the REAL VACCINE to the FAKE HOAX VIRUS they helped PATRIOTICALLY SPREAD were heroes like Lindsey Graham, and Marco Rubio, who isn’t even old enough to fall into a high-risk category but HEROICALLY TOOK ONE FOR THE TEAM and got the life-saving vaccine so one of those EVIL, LYING FIRST RESPONDERS could learn about HARD WORK, RESPONSIBILITY, and pulling their immune system up by its own bootstraps, or something. I don’t know!
The point is, the THIN RED LINE of Republicans in Congress is the only thing stopping America from becoming a real “shithole” country! Right?
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PATRIOTS, as a proud American who’s been run out of more than two dozen communities in my lifetime, I know from experience that when your neighbors don’t want you around anymore, IT IS ALWAYS THEIR FAULT, NOT YOURS! AND IT’S USUALLY BECAUSE THEY’RE STUPID, INTOLERANT LEFTIST-SCUM WHO NEED TO BE ROUNDED UP AND SHOT! I’M LOOKING AT YOU, GARY! I’LL TOLERATE YOU! WITH MY HACKSAW! Anyway, that’s why I am standing by MY PRESIDENT even as the residents of Mar-a-Lago, the private club in Florida that Trump owns, are telling the president that he can’t live there after he leaves the White House… in 2024, I assume.
The FAKE BEZOS Washington Post reports that Trump is leaving the COMMUNIST HELLSCAPE of New York for the AMERICAN PARADISE of Southern Florida, but the LIB-SCUM who Trump allows to live at his private community have told the PRESIDENT to “GET OFF YOUR OWN LAWN!”
In a demand letter, obtained by The Washington Post, an attorney for the Mar-a-Lago neighbors says the town should notify Trump that he cannot use Mar-a-Lago as his residence. Making that move would “avoid an embarrassing situation” if the outgoing president moves to the club and later has to be ordered to leave, according to the letter sent on behalf of the neighbors, the DeMoss family, which runs an international missionary foundation.THE FAKE BEZOS WASHINGTON POST
These NO GOOD LIBS who are SQUATTING at Trump’s private residence for just $200,000 want to run the president out of their LEFTIST TRASH-CLUB all because of some little “disruptions, such as clogged traffic and blocked streets, caused by the president’s frequent trips to the club,” according to the FAKE BEZOS POST. They also say that before he was president, “Trump created ill will in the town by refusing to comply with even basic local requirements, such as adhering to height limits for a massive flagpole he installed, and frequently attempting to get out of the promises he had made when he converted Mar-a-Lago into a private club.”
Basic local requirements? Sounds too complicated, Bezos Post, ya’ LIB SACK-O-SHIT!
Oh, and there’s the small, LIBERALLY-BIASED fact that Trump using Mar-a-Lago as a private home and a club could be totally illegal, because in 1993, when Trump was in bankruptcy–I mean, “succeeding” bigly–he cut a deal with the town that said club members couldn’t spend more than 21 days per year in the guest suites there and couldn’t stay there for more than seven consecutive days. And, one more little matter: an attorney for Trump assured the town that Trump WOULD not live at Mar-a-Lago. So, um… yeah. I don’t know how to spin that… But, WHATEVER, YOU STUPID LEFTISTS! GET OVER IT! TRUMP WON (lost)!
A LEFTIST (probably) HOMEOWNER in nearby Palm Beach told the BEZOS FAKE POST, “There’s absolutely no legal theory under which he can use that property as both a residence and a club.” REALLY, LIB? Here’s a theory: TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!
(I’d have chanted longer but I’m tired because I just ate a McDonald’s Fillet-o-fish and a chocolate milkshake, or as I call it, “a good start to my presidential breakfast.”)
But, there’s another way to look at this story: A HUGE WIN FOR THE GREATEST DEALMAKER IN AMERICAN HISTORY! That’s right. SUCK ON THAT, LIBS! No one has ever out-negotiated the negotiator-in-chief. . . until now. And that great negotiator who beat Trump? Surprise! It was Trump! It was the greatest deal Trump ever made, in fact, because he beat the best negotiator in history: Trump!
And this deal was AIR-TIGHT because in addition to promising the town he’d never live at Mar-a-lago in that 1993 deal, Trump also made another GREAT DEAL! This time, in a deal with the National Trust for Historic Preservation…
Trump agreed to “forever” relinquish his rights to develop Mar-a-Lago or to use it for “any purpose other than club use.”FAKE BEZOS POST
Sheeple, I don’t often admit I was wrong, but in this case, I have to swallow my pride and admit Trump isn’t THE GREATEST NEGOTIATOR IN HISTORY.
TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! NEVER ADMIT DEFEAT! NEVER ADMIT REALITY! EMBRACE THE DELUSION, BABY!
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What’s that Floridians?
You already made that Armadillo into a stew and ate it?
Twenty five years ago, the greatest moment in the history of freedom occurred in the shadow of the Berlin Wall, as Ronald Reagan shouted his immortal words, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”
It’s the season of “mids.”
We’re just a few days away from the midterms.
And we’re midway through the 2014 NFL season. Continue reading
MOTHER. F***ING. FLORIDA.