PATRIOTS, Senator Ron Johnson of the GOP (GOVERNMENT OVERTHROW PARTY) has a message for all the STUPID, IDIOT LEFTISTS who GOT TRIGGERED by the thousands of armed Trump supporters who invaded the U.S. Capitol on January 6th chanting “Hang Pence!” and looking for members of Congress to kill. NONE OF THAT HAPPENED, YOU LYING LEFTIST LIBS!
PATRIOTS, nevermind the pictures, the videos, and the confessions made by the participants. Nevermind that thousands of people in TRUMP attire stormed the capitol and attempted to overthrow the government. Nevermind the bombs planted at party headquarters that day, and the dead body of the police officer that the TRUMP supporters murdered. THAT’S ALL JUST LAMESTREAM, LIBTARD SPIN! The SIMPLE FACT OF THE MATTER is that this insurrection was actually a NOT-SURRECTION, because contrary to what the LIBERAL, LEFTIST SCUM called cameras and microphones tell your eyes and ears, it didn’t even happen.
RON JOHNSON’S COMING IN HOT with a heat-seeking truth-bomb for all the SCUM OF THE EARTH who want “reality” to be based on “facts,” “sworn confessions,” and “visual evidence.” That message: just SHUT THE F*** UP, FORGET WHAT YOU SAW, AND GET IN LINE WITH THE PARTY LINE!
“This didn’t seem like an armed insurrection to me.”SEN. RON JOHNSON (R-WI)
What is wrong with all these dumb libs who want to insist that there was an armed insurrection at the Capitol? I didn’t see any armed insurrection at the Capitol! No one did! And if anyone tries to say they did, TRUMPERS WILL BURN THAT MOTHERF***ING CAPITOL TO THE GROUND WITH THEIR FLAMETHROWERS! Not armed!
So here’s what me and RUSSIA RON have to say to all you fact-hugging LIB-SCUM-O-CRATS! Learn how to minimize and justify terrorist attacks against your country! Otherwise, you might never reach your political goals! JUST MAN THE F*** UP AND HATE YOUR COUNTRY, YOU SICK, STUPID LIBS!
And you know why me and RUSSIAN RON are not scared of that FAKE “armed insurrection,” libs? Because that armed insurrection was there to kill YOU, not US! And we are sure it will never come for us, because we’ll never stop defending its murderous participants, no matter how badly they try to harm America!
RUSSIAN RON wasn’t done, libs!
“I mean ‘armed,’ when you hear ‘armed,’ don’t you think of firearms? Here’s the questions I would have liked to ask. How many firearms were confiscated? How many shots were fired? I’m only aware of one and I’ll defend that law enforcement officer for taking that shot. It was a tragedy, OK? But I think there was only one.”Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI)
Firearms? FIREARMS!?!?! I mean… my gosh. What are these STUPID LIBS even talking about?
Just because police recovered a dozen guns and thousands of rounds of ammunition from people arrested for their involvement in the Jan. 6 attack that killed five people, according to NBC News, and just because the insurrectionists used a stun gun to attack and incapacitate a police officer, giving him a heart attack, THAT DOESN’T MEAN THEY WERE ARMED, YOU STUPID, STUPID LIBS! THEY WEREN’T ARMED! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL! STOP INFRINGING ON MY RIGHTS! I DON’T WANT THE LIBERAL TRUTH YOU’RE SPINNING! TUCKER! HANNITY! JUDGE JEANINE! HELP! HELP! HELP! THE LIB IS ON ME! GET IT OFF!
Russian Ron Johnson doesn’t care about your precious “country,” libs! Russian Ron follows the teachings of the FOUNDERS, you know, the guys who set the example for this GREAT COUNTRY, that, sometimes, patriots have to try to destroy! Now, STUPID LIBS might tell you the founders were people like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, etc. WRONG! You know who founded this country? TRUMP! How do I know? Because, I learned from TRUMP that I don’t need my STUPID, LIBERAL BRAIN! All the learning I need is in my mouth! When my mouth speaks, I listen! My mouth asked who founded America, and my mouth also answers every question with the same answer: TRUMP!
Where does my mouth get it’s information from? I don’t know! I don’t ask dumb questions! My mouth said Trump is the founder, so I believe it! Russian Ron gets his facts from the same place, except at the other end of the pipe! My mouth calls it his “reverse mouth.”
LIBS CALL IT HIS ASS!
WE DON’T NEED OUR LYIN’ BRAINS ANYMORE LIBS! There was no armed insurrection! There was no incitement! There was no crime at all! Are me and Russian Ron Johnson INSANE?
DOESN’T “SEEM” LIKE IT TO ME!
PATRIOTS, there’s nothing I hate more than a RIGGED SYSTEM! That’s why I supported TRUMP supporters’ PATRIOTIC efforts to overthrow the government and end democracy. Because the system was rigged! The election was rigged against TRUMP! Democrats are trying to impeach TRUMP because they don’t understand that RIGGED THINGS ARE BAD! TRUMP IS GOOD! And that’s why I totally support the GOP’S effort to RIG the impeachment trial FOR TRUMP!
You see, RIGGING is BAD, unless you’re RIGGING FOR TRUMP! That’s just being fair!
So, let us RIG THIS F***ING SYSTEM LIKE IT’S NEVER BEEN RIGGED BEFORE! TO STOP THE STEAL!
TO STEAL THE STOPPING OF THE STEAL!
And 3 Republican Senators are doing their PATRIOTIC AMERICAN part to rig the case of TRUMP v. AMERICA in favor of Trump and against America. These three SENATE HEROES are going to serve as the jurors who will deliver a verdict in this impeachment case, and while many of them did not have precious time to listen to the EVIL, factual arguments made against TRUMP by the prosecution in this case, these IMPARTIAL, PATRIOTIC JURORS did have time for a 70 MINUTE LONG MEETING WITH THE TRUMP DEFENSE LAWYERS to discuss “‘sharing our thoughts’ about their legal strategy,” CNN reports.
Sens. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, Ted Cruz of Texas and Mike Lee of Utah were spotted going into a room in the US Capitol that Trump’s lawyers were using to prepare for their arguments.
Trump lawyer David Schoen said that the senators were “very friendly guys” who just wanted to make sure they were “familiar with procedure” on the eve of their rebuttal to the House impeachment managers’ presentation.
When asked if it’s appropriate to meet with senators during the trial, Schoen said, “Oh yeah, I think that’s the practice of impeachment.”
“There’s nothing about this thing that has any semblance of due process whatsoever,” he added.CNN (CLINTON (FAKE) NEWS NETWORK)
Yes, there’s “no semblance of due process whatsoever” in this trial, AND THAT’S JUST HOW REPUBLICANS LIKE IT, because that’s the only way that the president who incited a mob to try to kill the Vice President and Speaker of the House WILL GET AWAY WITH HIS CRIMES!
GOP, WE LOVE CRIMES! And, we also love a jury that will VOLUNTARILY TAMPER WITH ITSELF! Now that’s what I call integrity. These CONSERVATIVE HEROES have so much f***ing integrity that they willingly go on TV and tell the American people that the entire trial of TRUMP is a TOTAL SHAM because the Republican senators on the jury are also HELPING THE DEFENSE strategize on how to get away with its crimes. That’s even more astonishing, because the crime the defense is accused of is LITERALLY TRYING TO MURDER the jury! Dang!
That’s some next level BOOTLICKING!
I hope Trump rewards these ASS-KISSERS with another attempt to incite a riot against them! They deserve it!
And you know it was a PERFECTLY INNOCENT meeting between a guilty defendant’s legal team and the JURORS that they need to help them PATRIOTICALLY RIG the case, because just look how eager Senator Lindsey Graham is to share what was discussed in this perfectly SANE and RIGHT meeting that he participated in with the TRUMP LAWYERS!
Just LOOK AT THE SPEED at which he ran from those questions! EVERYTHING’S ON THE UP AND UP HERE! NOTHING TO SEE!
Now, of course, SOME STUPID LIBS were TRIGGERED by Republican Senators’ total refusal to protect their own branch of government from a violent, anti-democratic attack, but that’s just because LIBS, like all EVIL LEFTISTS are STUPID!
Sorry, LEFTISTS, but you’re STUPID. Does the jury agree?
Case closed, LIBS!
But, just in case that doesn’t sway your little PEA BRAINS, here’s some straight shootin’ from ol’ TEXAS LYIN’ TED! He’s rustlin’ up some facts for FAKE NEWS CNN!
When asked if he’s now comfortable with the Trump team’s legal strategy, Cruz said, “I think the end result of this impeachment trial is crystal clear to everybody.”
“Donald Trump will be acquitted,” he added. “It takes 67 votes to convict him and every person in the Senate chamber understands that there are not the votes to convict, nor should there be.”(FAKE FALSE STUPID LAME) CNN
“And if there’s one thing that could change anyone’s mind, it’s LITERALLY ANY OF THE EVIDENCE,” Lyin’ Ted (probably) added, “which is why I’m going to go in a room and shove my huge, potato-shaped head right up TRUMP’S ass for the next 70 minutes to make sure I don’t hear any of it.”
THANKS FOR DEFENDING THE CONSTITUTION, LYIN’ TED, LINDSEY GRAHAM, AND MIKE LEE! You three stand for nothing, just the way TRUMP likes it!
PATRIOTS, as a PROUD REPUBLICAN and CONSERVATIVE, there’s nothing I’m more committed to than supporting ABSOLUTE, STARK RAVING MAD LUNATICS. You know who I’m talking about, people like Donald Trump, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Jeanine Pirro, and Ol’ Head-leaker, himself, Rudy Giuliani. Until today, I also considered My Pillow founder Mike Lindell part of that ILLUSTRIOUS LIST OF LUNATICS! But, PATRIOTS, I gotta admit, Lindell, is starting to seem a little TOO CRAZY even for me, a committed TRUMP ALLY and STRONG OPPONENT OF REALITY.
I stood by Lindell when he falsely claimed a poisonous plant could magically CURE Covid. I backed him when he tried to convince the president to IMPOSE MARTIAL LAW and seize the U.S. government from the lyin’ LIBERALS who won the election fair and square. Hell, I even supported Lindell when he kept trying to make us all buy his SHITTY PILLOWS! But, in the last few days, it’s starting to seem like Mike Lindell is gone into coo-coo crazy town on the batshit express!
A few days ago, he had to be THROWN OFF THE AIR while on NEWSMAX–NEWSMAX! The same NEWSMAX that allowed a Trump campaign lawyer to claim on its airwaves, unchallenged, that a former Trump official should be executed! Executed! Yes, Mike Lindell was THROWN OFF that NEWSMAX for being TOO CRAZY! Think about that for a second!
Lindell went on NEWSMAX to explain why he was being cancelled by TWITTER, after Twitter suspended his account for posting unhinged and provably false claims about the 2020 election being stolen from TRUMP. This INJUSTICE, as NEWSMAX and ALL CONSERVATIVES rightly understood, was the result of the LEFT’S EVIL AND OVERZEALOUS CANEL CULTURE!!! But, wouldn’t you know it, when Lindell went on NEWSMAX to spout the EXACT SAME CLAIMS that got him “CANCELLED FROM TWITTER,” the people on Conservative NEWSMAX said, “Shit, you know what? This guy is crazy! Like certifiably nuts! We gotta get him off our air before we get sued! We gotta CANCEL HIM!!!”
NEWSMAX anchor Bob Sellers literally walked the off set of his own show while Mike Lindell was talking! Think about how crazy the shit you are saying has to be in order to make a NEWSMAX anchor walk off the set of his own, in-progress show, because he’s SO AFRAID of being associated with the demented insanity that you are spewing! Imagine that! That’s where Mike Lindell is right now on the CRAZY SCALE!!! TOO CRAZY to speak on Newsmax!
He said, “Bye-bye pillow!”
But, that wasn’t the CRAZIEST THING Mike Lindell did this week. NOT BY A LONG SHOT!
On Friday morning, Lindell appeared in a three-hour “documentary” that he made, which aired on the OTHER wildly, irresponsible, Trump-supporting channel, One America News Network! The OANN special, which OANN DID NOT create and REFUSED to be associated with, (besides, I guess allowing Lindell to buy out time on its airwaves to show it) purported to expose the “Absolute Proof” that Donald Trump actually won the 2020 election. “Absolute Proof” was even the name of Lindell’s special, which you won’t be surprised to read, contained no proof, and not even conjecture, but was merely three hours of Mike Lindell ranting and raving in his pillow-hocking voice about things that are both PROVABLY FALSE and TOTALLY INSANE. The only thing this special was “Absolute Proof” of, was that Mike Lindell’s CRAZY could power a small city!
Like all ABSOLUTE PROOFS of Donald Trump’s victory, it starts with a 1:31 long DISCLAIMER about how the claims about to be made by “Michael James Lindell” are SO CRAZY, that even ONE AMERICA NEWS NETWORK, the blindly-Trump-supporting channel that EMPLOYS AN ACTUAL KREMLIN PROPAGANDIST, DISAVOWS ALL OF THESE WILD CLAIMS, and that “the… claims expressed in this program… are not intended to be taken or interpreted by the viewer as established facts.” READ THAT AGAIN SO YOU UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT IT’S SAYING, because that’s a pretty bold claim for a channel that calls itself a “News Network.”
OANN makes clear that it’s airing this special purely for profit, but knows it’s total bullshit, and would really like to not be named in any of the billions of dollars of lawsuits that are being filed against conservative media by the voting companies that they’ve been lying about.
So it’s, you know, NEWS!
And LINDELL’S claims that followed that AMAZING DISCLAIMER certainly lived up to their billing.
“The first miracle was on election night, and on election night at 11:15 at night, the algorithms on these machines broke, basically broke, and this’ll be explained during this show, but they broke. What that means is Donald Trump got so many more millions of votes that they didn’t expect that they’re going to have to go recalibrate, right?”Algorithm EXPERT and My Pillow Man
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiggghhhtttt. Okay, but what is your Absolute Proof?
Nothing? Okay, got it.
“The big thing was the theft by these other countries that came in to attack our country through these machines that are made to steal elections. Every election going forward in history if these things would have happened, these two, and we would have never known, every single vote you would have ever made wouldn’t have mattered. Somebody else would have made that vote. And we’ve all seen in this past month, you think it wasn’t communists coming in and taking us over? With people here. This is an attack not only on those other countries with communism, but they had domestic traitors right here in our country. Whatever’s going on right now, we’re seeing it. They’re suppressing. Cancel culture. They’re trying to cancel us all out. I have seen churches, the Christian churches, they’re being attacked right now. People on social media, anyone that speaks up, they’re going, ‘You can’t say that.’ It’s like, you’re gone. Right now they’re doing whack-a-mole because they knew they were so close, so close that we would never know in history what happened.”An ELECTIONS EXPERT Who Makes Cheap Pillows
Okay, so as a person who hates America as much as I love TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP, I want this to be true. But, I’m afraid it sounds more like a guy who makes pillows is high on cocaine and trying to convince me of something that makes no sense. What’s that? That’s EXACTLY what this is? Oh.
Would you like to see more of this NON-FACTUAL “proof”? No?
What’s that, your head hurts? Oh, well, here’s some more claims by MIKE LINDELL.
You know that when the DRUNK WOMAN who was nationally mocked for her INSANE, RIDICULOUS, NONSENSICAL RAMBLING about how tRuMp ReAlLy WoN shows up as part of your “Absolute Proof” that things are going really well, and by “really well” I mean about as good as a night’s sleep on a MyPillow!
PATRIOTS, we’ve suffered a lot of insane, unhinged, destructive conspiracy theories over the past four years. We’ve bent over backward to excuse and apologize for the CONSPIRACY THEORIST IN CHIEF, and we’ve all come out worse for it. What say we STOP with this INSANE UTTER NONSENSE, and stop letting the My Pillow man book airtime on TV to brainwash TRUMP-SUPPORTING IDIOTS? I think I speak for everyone when I say, get some rest, My Pillow man. Get some rest. You’ve harmed your country proud, and you’re TOO CRAZY, even for US CRAZIES!
Parkland school shooting survivor and gun control advocate David Hogg plans to launch his own pillow company with the goal of competing against embattled bedding company MyPillow. The idea was posed to Hogg, 20, in a tweet from entrepreneur William LeGate on Thursday that questioned whether the duo should start a pillow company to “put MyPillow out of business.”NBC (Nothin’ But Crap) NEWS
PATRIOTS, I’m no anti-semite, but I certainly think it’s fair game to ask whether ALL of the problems currently troubling our GREAT COUNTRY and our GREAT REPUBLICAN PARTY can be blamed on a SECRET JEWISH SPACE LASER. It’s not SO CRAZY if you DON’T think about it! This question isn’t just being asked by WINGNUTS like myself, but FULL-FLEDGED lawmakers in the Republican Party, like Marjorie Taylor Greene, easily the most PATRIOTIC AMERICAN PATRIOT since Dennis Rodman!
Representative Trailer Queen–I mean Taylor Greene–has SET A NEW BAR for WILDLY OFFENSIVE CONSPIRACY THEORIES since getting elected to the People’s House on a PERFECTLY SANE GOP platform of QAnon conspiracy fearmongering, like stopping Democrats from allegedly harvesting the organs of children in Satanic rituals, something that was obviously TOTALLY REAL and near-and-dear to the hearts of her PERFECTLY SANE constituents in Georgia (what the HELL is up with that state electing two Democrats to the Senate and Greene to the House?!?!). But that’s just the tip of the iceberg for this WOMAN OF GOD AND AMERICA! Greene believes ALL SCHOOL SHOOTINGS are staged hoaxes, 9/11 was an inside job by the U.S. government, Muslims shouldn’t be allowed to serve in government, and Democrats should be executed. ALL THINGS THAT MAKE TOTAL SENSE IF YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THEM, AND YOU ARE ALSO TOTALLY INSANE. (Which is why Trump supporters loved her!) BUT PATRIOTS, ALL OF THAT WAS JUST THE WARMUP ACT!
For JEWISH SPACE LASER!
PATRIOTS, there is no comedic set up that can make this report by New York Magazine any funnier, or more terrifying, than it already is:
The most recent Greene view to be unearthed comes via Eric Hananoki. Just over two years ago, Greene suggested in a Facebook post that wildfires in California were not natural. Forests don’t just catch fire, you know. Rather, the blazes had been started by PG&E, in conjunction with the Rothschilds, using a space laser, in order to clear room for a high-speed rail project. Here is Greene’s entire post, via Media Matters:
Did you get all that? No? Neither did I. Really, it’s one of the most PATRIOTICALLY INSANE things ever written by a member of Congress. In fact, while we can debate the legal grounds for expulsion from the House of Representatives, which many Dems have called for, there can really be NO DEBATE that these views rise to the level of making Marjorie Taylor Greene an EXTREME DANGER to the AMERICAN PEOPLE! She certainly, has no BUSINESS BEING IN CONGRESS! She needs to be in a MENTAL HOSPITAL!
WHICH IS WHY I SUPPORT HER!
You see, as a TRUMP SUPPORTER, like GameStop stock, my entire connection with facts & reality has been COMPLETELY severed. I no longer live on this plane of existence. I am purely what I and others imagine myself to be! In the FANTASY WORLD I inhabit, again, as an avowed TRUMP SUPPORTER, all of the PROVABLY FALSE things Marjorie Taylor Greene has said are true! TRUE, BECAUSE THEY ARE FALSE, you see! It doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to keep reinforcing the INFINITE FEEDBACK loop of the Republican Party, like buying a stock makes a stock a good buy! CAPITALISM! If everything Trump and the GOP do is good, then everything bad is good; and, if everything bad is good, everything false must also be true! Then, in this ALTERNATE REALITY OF TRUMP AND GOP ALTERNATIVE FACTS, Marjorie Taylor Greene is not the greatest threat to America, she is our greatest asset. We are no longer bound by the constraints of TRUTH in OUR PARTY, and in OUR COUNTRY, sir! WE ARE THE JEWISH SPACE LASER OF POLITICAL PARTIES! RACIST, ANTI-SEMITIC, ONLY MAKING SENSE INSIDE OUR OWN MINDS, AND THE GREATEST THREAT TO THE PLANET EARTH IN EXISTENCE! WE ARE PATRIOTS!
And, Republican House Leader Kevin McCarthy feels the same way. He’s not listening to those stupid Democrats who think Marjorie Taylor Greene is a threat, just because she is threatening our country and her fellow members of Congress. McCarthy knows that Marjorie Taylor Greene IS THE GOP! AND, WE COULD LEARN A THING OR TWO FROM HER INSANITY. That’s why the GOP PUT HER ON THE EDUCATION COMMITTEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME? THIS CAN’T BE REAL LIFE! IS IT? ARE YOU SURE? DID I GET HIT IN THE HEAD!?!?!?! THE EDUCATION COMMITTEE?!?!?!)
CRAZY NANCY had a typically crazy response to this TOTALLY SANE MOVE by the GOP to put the school shooting truther on the education committee!
“Assigning her to the Education Committee when she has mocked the killing of little children at Sandy Hook Elementary School, when she has mocked the killing of teenagers in high school at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school — what could they be thinking? Or is thinking too generous a word for what they might be doing?”‘CRAZY’ Nancy Pelosi
Very generous, Nancy!
And, THE GOP totally knew Marjorie Taylor Greene was TOTALLY CRAZY a long time ago, but Kevin McCarthy, “did little to stop her,” Axios reports. According to Greene’s LOSER primary opponent John Cowan, LOSER, “Everybody was well aware of her previous persona and who she is. I would say they all knew she was going to be a problem… Maybe they just assumed that the awe of winning an election would calm her down a little bit, and so she would actually be interested in governing and be interested in policy, and she’s just clearly not. She is literally there for a stage production.”
HEY JOHN, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, CRAZY TALKS AND SANITY WALKS IN THE GOP! SO WHY ARE YOU IN IT?
But CoMpLeTe SaNiTy talks, too. Because Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy has a solution to Marjorie Taylor Greene’s “deeply disturbing” and PATRIOTIC belief that everything she can see with her eyes is FAKE, Democrats need to be SHOT, and JEWISH SPACE LASERS are real.
“These comments are deeply disturbing and Leader McCarthy plans to have a conversation with the Congresswoman about them,” spokesman Mark Bednar told CNN.CNN (Clinton News Network)
CONVERSATION! Right. I’m sure that’ll fix everything, because everyone knows when you run into a CRAZY TRUMP SUPPORTER, a good, fact based conversation usually changes their mind.
PATRIOTS, no PATRIOT has fought harder against the EVILS of FREEDOM than Mike Lindell, CEO of My Pillow, “The World’s Shittiest Pillow,”TM and recent proponent of MARTIAL LAW to overthrow the U.S. Government. If that’s not American, than call me a terrorist! That’s why it’s SO INCREDIBLY ORWELLIAN that Twitter has decided to PERMANENTLY BAN the My Pillow man from its platform. What did he do? Apparently, he “alleged that the voting machine companies Smartmatic and Dominion Voting Systems were part of a conspiracy to rig the election against Trump,” according to reports. Big deal! It’s not like that PROVEN, REPEATED LIE ever killed anybody! What’s that? It killed five people? Big deal! They were probably LEFTISTS, anyway!
It’s NOT FAIR that private companies are banning bad faith actors who continually push lies for profit while attacking the fragile peace that sustains our politically-divided society! It’s NOT FAIR because those people REALLY WANT TO PROFIT from the downfall of America! If Mike Lindell can’t profit from selling the PROVEN LIE that Donald Trump won the election, if not for an elaborate conspiracy involving the makers of voting machines, local election officials, state-level Republicans, and the long-dead leader of Venezuela, what is he going to PROFIT FROM? Selling shitty pillows? Selling poisonous plants as a miracle cure for COVID-19? Yes, he did that. And, no, it did not turn out to be a miracle cure, but it was slightly healthier than drinking bleach. MAGA!
These lies never hurt anybody! Did they? I don’t know. Probably. Probably a lot of people, actually. Hmm. But PATRIOTS, the PERSECUTION OF THE PILLOW MAN raises a larger question about American society, namely, do we really want to be the kind of country that allows private companies to silence CONSERVATIVE VOICES just because they refuse to stop intentionally spouting dangerous, destructive, murderous LIES? I think not! That’s ORWELLIAN, just like it was ORWELLIAN that pro-terrorist Republican Senator Josh Hawley briefly lost his book deal for two weeks because he incited terrorism. TERRORISM AND BOOK DEALS FOR EVERYONE! FINANCED BY THE GOVERNMENT! THAT’S WHAT I CALL FREE MARKET!
The FREE MARKET decides things in this country, and the FREE MARKET should decide that the My Pillow man’s LIES, the LIES I LIKE, must be spread to ALL by a private platform called Twitter, and if the FREE MARKET decides it doesn’t want to do that, THAN THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD MAKE IT DO THAT! That’s called Trumpism!
PATRIOTS, America is sick, and the only cure is to just let all the LUNATICS RUN THE ASYLUM! And WHITE OLEANDER EXTRACT! Why not let a former cocaine addict who now sells cheap pillows organize a domestic paramilitary operation AND PROVIDE GREAT HEALTHCARE SOLUTIONS? Why not also let this man tell us who really won presidential elections based on nothing more than the feelings in his gut? Why not let Representatives bring guns and ammunition to the house floor? As long as they really believe those guns are actually candy canes, who’s to tell them they aren’t? It’s called FIRST AMENDMENT! Why not let the people who lOvE tHe FrEe MaRkEt So MuCh force businesses like Twitter to make ONLY the decisions THEY SUPPORT, until ALL AMERICANS are forced to suffer the daily FEAR of incitement of domestic TERROR FOR TRUMP, and attacks on the Capitol following every election the PROVEN LIARS say was fraudulent?
Because that threatens the safety of every American? F*** it! I don’t care! I care about MY FREEDOM, not YOUR FREEDOM!
CANCEL THE CANCEL CULTURE! LET THE LIES FLOW!
Speaking of which, let’s all buy a My Pillow to support the latest VICTIM of his own stupidity. Buy TWO! Buy yours here!
PATRIOTS, everybody knows Cryin’ Chuck Schumer is a WHINY little bitch (at least everybody who read and believed the vile spew coming from President Joe Biden’s PREDECSSOR’S Twitter before it was deactivated for domestic terrorism), but now Cryin’ has sunk to a new low. He took to the Senate floor, the most sacred place in the U.S. Capitol, which is reserved only for democratic proceedings and crazy men dressed as vikings, to take another cheap shot at Biden’s PREDECESSOR over the PREDECESSOR’S attempt to overthrow democracy. In a speech to MEMBERS, in which Schumer said the article of impeachment against the Predecessor would be delivered to the Senate on Monday, Cryin’ Chuck accused Biden’s PREDECESSOR of trying to incite an “erection”.
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAH! HE SAID “ERECTION!” HE SAID “ERECTION!”
But PATRIOTS, everybody knows, when you take a shot at the KING’S WIENER, you’d better not miss! And CRYIN’ missed BIGLY, because everybody knows, nobody is HARDER for FASCISM than Joe Biden’s PREDECESSOR.
What’s that? PREDECESSOR’S own, white-supremacist, misogynistic Nazi supporters are now calling Biden’s PREDECESSOR “flaccid”?
Damn. Here’s what The “FAKE” New York Times reported about the PREDECESSOR’S biggest supporters, the boys who have the least to be proud of, THE PROUD BOYS!
. . . by this week, the group’s attitude toward Mr. Trump had changed. “Trump will go down as a total failure,” the Proud Boys said in the same Telegram channel on Monday. . .
Last week, Nicholas Fuentes, the leader of America First, wrote in his Telegram channel that Mr. Trump’s response to the Capitol rampage was “very weak and flaccid” and added, “Not the same guy that ran in 2015.”– The ‘FAKE’ New York Times
Damn. PREDECESSOR even lost his MOST RACIST supporters. This whole MAGA movement is starting to look like a shriveled up hot dog. Even the CRAZIEST of the CRAZIES are abandoning the PREDECESSOR TRAIN. The Q Anon CULT, which believed that PREDECESSOR’S every move was part of a massively convoluted and secret effort to expose and arrest members of a secret cabal of satanist, child-eating, pedophiles (AKA DEM-O-RATS) who run EVERYTHING in the world, IS ABANDONING THE PREDECESSOR TRAIN!
The Q-NUTS thought that on Wednesday, the Bidens, Obamas and the Clintons “would be rounded up and executed for child sex trafficking, treason and other crimes,” and Trump would be inaugurated for a second term. SADLY, PATRIOTS, THEY–and we–WERE WRONG!
Like a flipped switch, the attitude inside online QAnon communities shifted from glee to shock and misery: “NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED!!!”; “So now we have proof Q was total bullshit”; “I feel sick, disgusted and disappointed”; “Have we been duped???”; “You played us all”; “HOW COULD WE BELIEVE THIS FOR SO LONG? ARE WE ALL IDIOTS?”– HUFFPOST (or whatever the hell that LIBERAL RAG is called now
WE ARE ALL IDIOTS! We all got F***ed by the “ERECTION” Biden’s PREDECESSOR incited. Thanks, Cryin’ Chuck!
Well, PATRIOTS, it’s official. Joseph Robinette SLEEPY HIDIN’ Biden is now the President of the United States. OUR MAGA CULT’S tremendous run of destruction, violence, lies and idiocy is over. We had a good run. We tore down a lot of things (not statues, though). Killed a lot of people, more people than many even thought possible. But, like the Bible says (I assume, because like Trump, I’ve never read it) “For everything there is a season, A time for every activity under heaven.” And, so the season of MAGA is at an end. Its terror and boastfulness will live on for decades, its consequences far-reaching, eternally harmful to our country, as the actions of ALL TRUE PATRIOTS should be. But today it is time for a new season, a season of peace, of hope, of competent presidential leadership, rather than pillaging self-enrichment and self-aggrandizing.
Today begins the season of BIDEN, and I, like the outgoing President of the United States…
…’s Vice President, Mike Pence, wish President Biden good luck.
JUST KIDDING! I’m going to go immediately into REPUBLICAN SPIN MODE, and I’m going to hypocritically attack everything Biden does, whether it’s good, bad, or indifferent! Why? I’m a REPUBLICAN who hates AMERICA. That’s why!
Biden began his term with a call for unity, healing and truth. He said at one point in his Inaugural Address, “There is truth and there are lies – lies told for power and profit.” As a loyal TRUMP supporter, I have NO IDEA who he was referring to with this non-sequitur, but I assume it was some, lying SCUM-o-CRAT.
Then, Biden, said what we’ve all been thinking, that “democracy is fragile,” which was a clear reference to the dangers posed by the TEAM OF COMPETENT STATESMEN AND STATESWOMEN Biden plans to install in power in place of TRUMP’S COALITION OF WINGNUTS, who sought to overthrow the government.
WE MUST REMAIN VIGILANT PATRIOTS! The danger to Democracy has arrived with the EXIT OF DICTATOR TRUMP!
We, PATRIOTS, must now begin living in fear, the same FEAR we RIGHTFULLY INFLICTED on all the persecuted and underprivileged Americans during our REIGN OF TERROR, I mean, GLORIOUS REIGN OF TRUMP! Sleep in fear, now, PATRIOTS, FEAR OF THE BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE OF HOPE AND OPTIMISM delivered by this HELL-NAUGURATION of HIDIN’ BIDEN!
In just one of the scenes from this DISGRACEFUL REFUTATION OF TRUMP’S SPITEFUL, DESTRUCTIVE, PATRIOTIC VISION OF AMERICA’S FUTURE, Amanda Gorman, a young, talented POET–the most EVIL of all LEFTIST professions–recited a message of hope. HOPE! I mean, really, what hope can we, the white persecuted, have at a time like this? We’ve lost our RIGHTS! We can’t even burn down the Capitol Building anymore!
Amanda Gorman, poet, said, ““We will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one … There is always light, if only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.”
Disgrace! How far our national rhetoric and tone has fallen under the FAILED BIDEN ADMINISTRATION that has been in power for a full TWO HOURS! Compare that tolerant mumbo-jumbo to Trump’s POETRY at his rally to destroy America on January 6. . .
“…late in the evening or early in the morning, boom. These explosions of bullshit, and all of the sudden —all of a sudden, it started to happen.”DONALD TRUMP
Now that’s what I call POETRY!
The HELL-NAUGURATION of Biden also saw the swearing in of the first black and Asian-American Vice President of the United States, Kamala Harris. LIB-TARDS called it a historic step for our country. I call it a SAD NEW LOW for TRUMPISM. Now, I’ve got nothing against black people, but [insert contrived rationalization for why a black person shouldn’t be VP here].
I’m not intolerant, PATRIOTS. I’m just not tolerant. That’s all. And if that makes me a bad person, then, I guess I’m guilty as charged (but don’t worry because I’ll probably get a pardon from TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! (What’s that?? He can’t pardon me after he leaves office??? Damn.))
On this HELL-NAUGURATION DAY, we saw the TRIUMVIRATE OF LEFTISTS (as I call them)–composed of Michelle Obama, Jennifer Lopez, and Lady Gaga–assemble to wreak their UN-AMERICAN ideals of joy and tolerance on OUR country. Just look at Michelle Obama! LOOK AT HER! LOOK!
I AM OUTRAGED!!! (I’m not sure about what, but give me a second, I’ll figure it out (Dang! She looks dignified. She’s everything Melania wasn’t AND I HATE HER!!!)
Lady Gaga showed up for a brief pop-in on her way to BIDEN’S HUNGER GAMES, I assume, to ABSOLUTELY BUTCHER our National Anthem, by singing it instead of mocking it, like TRUMP did.
Then, J-LO told everyone to “get loud” after she sang “This Land Is Your Land.” Really, J-LO? “Your” land? WRONG! THIS IS TRUMP SUPPORTERS’ LAND! IF YOU DON’T LOVE IT, LEAVE IT! (Or storm the Capitol and then call it “patriotism.”)
And, just when things seemed they couldn’t get any worse, COUNTRY MUSIC HERO GARTH BROOKS revealed he’s a been closet AMERICAN all along. I thought he was a REPUBLICAN! TREASON! TREASON!
But the thing that sticks out the most to me, PATRIOTS, is that for the first time in the last four years, a MENTALLY ILL MADMAN WHO DEMONSTRABLY HATES AMERICA IS IN CHARGE OF THE NUCLEAR CODES! I am of course referring to Joe Biden, in case you didn’t get that.
PATRIOTS, it’s a fresh start for America today. The GREAT STAIN ON OUR NATIONAL CONSCIENCE is gone. Whoops! Sorry, a little bit of honesty slipped out there. I mean, A GREAT PATRIOTIC DICTATOR has gone into exile. There we go. Fixed it.
We’ve seen the dawn of a new administration, an administration that promises to respect history, science, fact, and the rights of all Americans to live in peace and safety. DISGUSTING! We’ve seen responsibility and sanity return to the highest office in our land. SICK! We’ve breathed a sigh of relief that our democracy has not yet become the victim of a self-interested, narcissistic, destructive power-grab that exploits the worst in people to pillage the work that our forefathers worked so hard to create. LOSERS!
America has survived TRUMP!
I’m sorry to say, we failed patriots. We tried our best to tear it down, but we finally found the limits of our own incompetence, when it came to successfully carrying out our coup. Now, we must suffer four years of Democracy, tolerance and sanity.
I think TRUMP’S CHILDREN speak for all of us, patriots, when they say, “WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH! BOO! HOO!”
And to the rest of you TOLERANT, LEFTIST BASTARDS, I say, enjoy your precious AMERICA! We’ll be back in four years to try and destroy it again, if you’re not careful!
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PATRIOTS, two weeks ago, Anti-American HERO Senator Josh Hawley, one of the staunchest boosters of President Trump’s fact-free election fraud claims that led directly to the Capitol insurrection, was HEARTLESSLY SILENCED by the TRAITOROUS LEFT because he dared to stand up for FREEDOM, specifically the freedom to destroy the U.S. Government, overturn an election through violence, and take the Vice President and Speaker of the House hostage. You know, BASIC CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS! As a result of his PATRIOTIC STAND, Senator Hawley, Republican hero, LOST HIS BOOK DEAL! Simon & Schuster said that it would CANCEL the publication of an upcoming book by the senator, citing their “larger public responsibility as citizens.” HOGWASH! HAWLEY WAS CANCELLED BY THE HATEFUL, FREEDOM-LOVING LEFTISTS!
Hawley came back at Shit & Schuster (or whatever that company is called) with a skin-blistering TRUTHBOMB statement posted on Twitter, the platform where he speaks to millions and where, presumably, he had not yet been CANCELLED. I don’t know how this “cancelling” works; I just SCREAM ABOUT IT! Anyway, HAWLEY pointed out that the cancellation of his book deal by this private company was “a direct assault on the First Amendment,” adding, “Only approved speech can now be published. This is the left looking to cancel everyone they don’t approve of.” AND, GUESS WHAT, PATRIOTS! JOSH HAWLEY WAS RIGHT! And, by RIGHT, I mean wrong. Because guess who just got his book published!
That’s right! Josh Hawley!
Regnery Publishing, a conservative publishing house, said Monday that it had picked up a book by Senator Josh Hawley, Republican of Missouri, after Simon & Schuster ended its contract to publish it in the wake of assault on the Capitol.The VERY FAKE New York Times (which is real, in this particular instance)
AND IF THAT’S NOT A TERRIFYING ENOUGH EXAMPLE OF THE DEVASTATING POWER OF THE TOTALLY REAL AND NOT IMAGINARY “LiBeRaL cAnCeL cUlTuRe,” Simon & Schuster, the company that HEARTLESSLY CANCELLED HAWLEY, is the distributor for Regnery, which means the same company that SILENCED Hawley’s right to destroy America through insurrection is now going to SELL and DISTRIBUTE his book.
PATRIOTS, as a good, LAW & ORDER Republican and TRUMP supporter, I want to live in an America where there are no consequences for engaging in insurrectionist activities! But THE LEFT HAS GONE TOO FAR! CONSERVATIVE VOICES ARE BEING SILENCED!
It’s almost as if, other than controlling the most watched news channel, controlling the U.S. Supreme Court, controlling the Executive and Legislative Branches for the last four years, having plenty of publishing companies willing to promote and publish our deranged, anti-American and pro-Nazi ideas, having dozens of popular talk-radio echo chambers, and having dozens of online disinformation platforms promoting our blatantly false claims, CONSERVATIVES HAVE NO VOICE IN AMERICA!
CaNcEl cUlTuRe! CaNcEl cUlTuRe! CaNcEl cUlTuRe! TrUmP, tRuMp, TrUmP!
I fEeL pErSeCuTeD! My PrObLeMs ArE oThEr PeOpLe’S fAuLt! AnYtHiNg ThAt HuRtS mY fEeLiNgS iS tYrAnNy!
I’m A gIaNt, PrIvIlEgEd, EnTiTlEd BaBy! ThE cOnStItUtIoN iS wHaTeVeR i SaY iT iS! ThInGs I dO cAn’T bE iLlEgAl!
WhY aRe YoU tReAtInG mE lIkE a F***iNg BlAcK pErSoN? i’M nOt RaCiSt!
WhY aRe YoU hUrTiNg My FeElInGs?
StOp CaNcElInG mE wItH vAlId CrItIcIsM!
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PATRIOTS, I’ve never respected Tommy Tuberville as a Senator, but…
Well, I guess there’s supposed to be a “but” at the end of that sentence for us TRUMPeters, but I’ve got nothing. Frankly, the man’s an idiot. And that’s OKAY with me, because it takes all kinds to make a fascist dictatorship go ’round, and Tommy Tuberville is the IDIOT that makes the President look smart by association.
So, PATRIOTS, I applaud SENATOR Tommy Tuberville’s newest uninformed, idiotic suggestion about how to keep TRUMP in power beyond the end of his legal term as president. The suggestion, frankly, makes Rudy Giuliani’s treasonous butt-dials, landscaping promotions and head leaks look like competent legal representation by comparison. Tommy Tuberville’s latest idea to extend TRUMP’S treasonous PATRIOTIC fascism is that we should just DELAY Biden’s inauguration until we finally get the coronavirus “behind us a little bit. “
W-w-w-w-w-what? Behind us? B-b-b-buuttt, I thought we’d already defeated the virus, while, of course, we just have to “live with it,” because it doesn’t affect anyone, and, on top of that, it’s a hoax perpetuated by AMERICA’S EVIL, LYING DOCTORS and HEALTHCARE WORKERS, plus, none of us need to wear a mask or social distance, anyway. Just ask Trump’s own campaign and White House officials, who have never done that, and barely acknowledged the virus’ existence, which is probably why they’ve been failing to successfully provide the vaccine to Americans in any meaningful time frame.
If anything, TRUMP’S been making the virus worse at every turn.
So, I guess it makes total sense that we must now wait until Trump gets the virus “behind us” in order for him to leave office, because that will never, ever happen even “a little bit” as long as Trump remains in charge of botching America’s response to this health crisis at every possible opportunity. Yes, I see how it works now. I, as a LOYAL, TERRORISTIC, TRUMP SUPPORTER, support this! TRUMP will remain in power forever! All he has to do is keep f***ing everything up! EASY!
Of course, Tuberville, like TRUMP, the GOP and all their mindless supporters don’t know that the Constitution sets the date of the next president’s inauguration by law, because they’ve never read that USELESS, ANTI-TRUMP SCREED. But, PATRIOTS, I say, “Who cares what that dumb, ol’ Constitution says. We’re in power.” So, lets throw away that raggedy ol’ document that we’ve literally spent our entire Pre-TRUMP political existence arguing SHOULD BE INTERPRETED LITERALLY, AND SHOULD GOVERN EVERY SINGLE DECISION WE MAKE!
In the words of AMERICAN PATRIOT, Spongebob Squarepants, “I don’t need it!”
THIS IS WHY WE NEED MORE FOOTBALL COACHES RUNNING OUR COUNTRY!
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