PATRIOTS, the old saying goes, “Screw you! We’re from Texas!” Well, NUMBER ONE PATRIOT LYIN’ TED CRUZ might have just come up with a better saying: “Screw you, Texas! I’m going to Mexico!” With millions of residents in his state suffering under dangerous freezing conditions, blackouts, no heat, and lack of potable water, this LYIN’ of the Senate did what any TRUE TRUMPIAN HERO would have done! He got the f*** out of there!
Ted flew off to SAFETY in the country he HATES the most, Mexico! Cancun to be exact! And he left his LOSER and SUCKER constituents to take care of themselves, because, like one CONSERVATIVE MAYOR in Ted’s state RIGHTLY scolded the suffering recently, “If you were sitting at home in the cold because you have no power and are sitting there waiting for someone to come rescue you because your lazy is direct result of your raising!”
Smart and literate!
Luckily, the former president’s border wall to keep the drug dealers and “rapists” out of Texas didn’t stop Lyin’s jet from making it to safety on the other side of it. IN MEXICO!
I’M NOT COGNITIVELY DISSONANT! YOU ARE, LIB!
LIBERALS WERE ALL OVER THE STORY of Lyin’ Ted’s HEROIC flee, which was first reported by notable LIB RAG, Fox News!
But, PATRIOTS, just because this ACT OF VALOR by Lyin’ Ted makes him look like the most callous, insensitive jerk who ever served in Congress, which is really saying something, THE LIBS ARE STILL MISSING THE POINT! What was Lyin’ supposed to do?!?! Help?
Puh-lease, libs! Nobody’s helping. Except Beto O’Rourke, that Democratic LOSER who LOST his senate bid against Lyin’ Ted, yet still helps suffering people in his state, LIKE A SUCKER! LIB! SHAME! LIB!
Hey, BEEE-TO, nobody needs help here! We’re just fine! In fact, we’re just fine without power or potable water! At least, that’s what Former Governor Rick Perry says, and he KNOWS ALMOST NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING, so he probably KNOWS A LOT about the opinions of his suffering and freezing former constituents.
“Texans would be without electricity for longer than three days to keep the federal government out of their business… Try not to let whatever the crisis of the day is take your eye off of having a resilient grid…”Former Texas Governor Rick Perry
Which Texas doesn’t have because… communism, I guess?
Things are going SO GOOD in Cruz’s home state of TEXAS that people aren’t even worried about not having electricity anymore (because they don’t have water now, either).
“Scores of Texans were under notice to boil tap water before drinking it after days of record low temperatures damaged infrastructure, caused blackouts and froze water pipes.“FAKE NEWS NBC (NOTHING BUT CRAP) News
LIBS just don’t get it. While they’re suffering UNDER SOCIALIST, LIB-O-CRATIC leadership in their big city, ivory towers with their… heat… and drinking water, they don’t understand the JOYS OF REAL FREEDOM. Freedom to SUFFER AND DIE FOR REPUBLICAN CONTROL OF OUR COUNTRY WITHOUT BIG, LIB GUBMINT TELLING ME TO LIVE!
Absolutely NOBODY in Texas needs any HELP from Lyin’ Ted Cruz, anyway. Except the kids in hospitals with no flushing toilets, AKA Scum-o-crats.
[A]t least two hospitals in the Austin metro area were being evacuated on Wednesday night due to a lack of hot water and heat. Matt Largey, an editor at Austin’s NPR station KUT, tweeted out a statement from St. David’s South Austin Medical Center on Wednesday that confirmed that the hospital was in the process of evacuating some of its “just under 300 patients” from the facility after it “lost water pressure today from the City of Austin.” … Minutes later, Largey reported that Dell Children’s Medical Center, a pediatric hospital located in Austin, was also without power. In an accompanying statement from the hospital sent from a source, officials confirmed that “extreme weather conditions” had resulted in the facility experiencing “interruptions in service,” and noted that the toilets there did not currently have “flushing capabilities.”Gizmodo
Flushing toilets at children’s hospitals are overrated anyway. You gotta teach those kids about FREE MARKET ECONOMICS early, or else they’ll never understand later why they’re being forced to freeze to death without drinking water so their Senators can take a vacation in Mexico–I mean, so capitalism.
The answer to that question, of course, is GUNS. Don’t get it? That’s because you’re a socialist! SOCIALIST!
NOTED CONSERVATIVE CRIMINAL Dinesh D’Souza gets it. WHAT IS LYIN’ TED SUPPOSED TO DO? Flying to Mexico and abandoning his state is actually the MOST HELPFUL thing Lyin’ Ted can do! That’s effective leadership!
Ted Cruz REALLY IS THE BEST! He’s helping more than anyone else, by NOT HELPING AT ALL! It’s called pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps, Texas. Sure, you don’t have drinking water, or heat, or for some, life, but think of all the things you still DO HAVE! Like, GUNS! And…
I can’t think of anything else, but, the important thing is that you remember, you’re suffering so that you can be free! Or, so the owner of the Dallas Cowboys can make money, I guess. SAME THING!
Comstock Resources chief financial officer Roland Burns acknowledged that the company had “hit the jackpot” as it sold gas from its Haynesville Shale wells in East Texas on the spot market for a price between $15 and $179 per cubic feet… “This week is like hitting the jackpot with some of these incredible prices,” Burns said during an earnings call on Wednesday… [Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry] Jones… controls a 73 percent share in Comstock, according to the company’s 2020 proxy statement.Newsweek
Hey, it might seem bad, Texas, but just remember… guns. No big government LIBS will be able to pry them from your FROZEN hands now!
PATRIOTS, I’m no fan of BIG HOLLYWOOD, and their sick, creepy billionaire Satanist pedophiles. But I took notice of MOVIES, perhaps for the first time ever, this morning, when HUMAN MY PILLOW and Republican Senator Thaddeus “Ted” Cruz came in like a HEAT-SEEKING MISSILE with a HOT TAKE on HOLLYWOOD HYPOCRISY! On his show, “Verdict with Ted Cruz,” which is a thing NOT A SINGLE HUMAN ON EARTH had ever heard of before RIGHT NOW, Ted said, BAD GUYS IN MOVIES ARE LEFTISTS! BOOM! Owned, LIBS! GAME OVER! TAKE YOUR BALL AND GO HOME! The lying, communist movies of Hollywood have just told you an INDISPUTABLE TRUTH!
“Have you noticed in how many movies how often rabid environmentalists are the bad guys? Whether it’s Thanos or go to ‘Watchmen.’ The view of the Left is people are a disease”LYIN’ TRUTHIN’ TED!
Now, PATRIOTS, I know there’s a lot of real news out there to distract us, but let’s FOCUS UP for a second and take Lyin’ Ted at his word. He’s making two great points, here, and both are TOTALLY, INDISPUTABLY TRUE! 1.) Yes, THANOS and WATCHMEN are environmentalists. 2.) THANOS and WATCHMEN are LEFTISTS! EVIL! 3.) LEFTIST Hollywood made Thanos the environmentalist, which we’re supposed to root for, so we’re supposed to root for Thanos… because he’s actually the HERO, or something? EVIL! EVIL!
That’s three? SCREW YOU, LEFTIST. I use ALTERNATIVE MATH!
Unfortunately, some SICK LEFTIST IDIOTS who’ve never done anything other than make the movies and TV shows Lyin’ Ted references, are DISAGREEING. EVIL LEFTISTS! EVIL! EVIL!
Excuse me, Lila, but I think Lyin’ Ted knows a little more about the Watchmen than you do! His favorite character is Rorschach, a guy who the CREATOR OF WATCHMEN once said was meant “to be a bad example.”
I meant him to be a bad example, but I have people come up to me in the street saying, ‘I am Rorschach! That is my story!’ And I’ll be thinking, ‘Yeah, great, can you just keep away from me and never come anywhere near me again for as long as I live?’”Alan Moore (LOSER)
Ted’s GONNA TED, baby! He IS the bad example. As bad an example as the environmentalist, THANOS, who, like all environmentalists, WANTS TO KILL HALF OF THE LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE! That’s why environmentalists are working so hard to STOP CONSERVATIVES from filling the atmosphere with HEALTHY, LIFE GIVING SMOG and TOXIC WASTE! They don’t RESPECT LIFE!
But Lyin’ is also demonstrating a deep knowledge of Marvel lore with his Thanos reference. Ted’s got a long history of making comparisons between Thanos and LEFTIST SCUM, and with good reason, because in September 2019 it was reported that Democratic Socialist Bernie Sanders had announced that THANOS would be his running mate. It was announced by none other than NOTED NUTCASE, Ted Cruz! And, just because that joke turned out to be neither TRUE nor FUNNY, it was still true. LEFTISTS are just like THANOS. “The view of the left,” as TED says, “is that people are a disease.” As, opposed to the views of CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICANS, whose view is that “people should have a disease. Namely COVID.”
Patriots, there’s no debating that America is safer, freer, and more prosperous than ever before thanks to the strong, courageous LEADERSHIP of PRESIDENT DONALD J(ust kidding because he actually sucks at being President) TRUMP! We’ve unleashed the American economy to a BIG, BEAUTIFUL SPIRAL OF DECLINE for all but Trump’s wealthiest cronies, we’ve CRUSHED OUR REAL ENEMIES, including Earth’s habitable climate and our allies in Europe, and we’ve wreaked PATRIOTIC DEATH across our own land with a TREMENDOUS HERD IMMUNITY STRATEGY that has killed more Americans than World War II thanks to Donald Trump’s “best people” being in charge, like a science adviser who said SMART things about Americans including, “We want them infected.” But now, Democracy-hugging liberals are trying to undo our TREMENDOUS REGRESS by FAIRLY COUNTING THE VOTES in a (non)FRAUDULENT Presidential election that Trump clearly won, as long as you only count yard signs and not votes.
So let me say something that might be controversial, but which all of us REAL PATRIOTS are CLEARLY THINKING! If Donald J(Jesus Christ) Trump can’t be MY NEXT president, then not only do I not want to live in America anymore, but I DON’T WANT THERE TO BE AN AMERICA AT ALL! AMERICA ISN’T WORTH PROTECTING UNLESS TRUMP IS ALLOWED TO REMAIN IN CHARGE OF DESTROYING IT!
Like all Republican PATRIOTS, I’ve heroically and quietly cowered over the past four years as Donald Trump has taken control of the Party of Lincoln and laid waste to every single principle I used to pretend to cherish, from crippling our national security by “falling in love” every authoritarian strongman to hove into his field of vision, to ratcheting our national debt to never-before-seen levels, to napalming the LIBERAL IDEAS of that FAKE CULT OF LEFTISTS that used to FRAUDULENTLY call themselves Republicans. You know which cult I’m talking about. No, not #NeverTrumpers. I’m talking about Christians, of course. Why would I, a TRUE CONSERVATIVE PATRIOT, want to follow the teachings of Christ when I could follow a thrice-divorced, 26-time-sexual-misconduct-accused, serial-lying, baby-imprisoning, corruption-encouraging, unable-to-name-a-single-book-of-the-bible, never-needed-to-ask-for-forgiveness former reality TV host?
I wouldn’t. There’s no room for that LEFTIST ANTIFA MEMBER called JESUS in my Conservative’s Holy Trinity of Trump, Putin and Lou Dobbs.
But there’s always more room on the TRUMP TREASON TRAIN of loyal, boot-licking sycophants. Ol’ “LIDDLE” MARCO RUBIO is proudly hopping on that train today with a BIGLY ADDITION to the PRO-TRUMP, ANTI-AMERICA TWEET HALL OF FAME.
Yeah, LIBS! I agree with “LIDDLE”! Why can’t you find a president who’s as presidential as Joe Biden’s incoming Deputy Chief-Of-Staff? Biden’s out here talking about unity and healing like an ANTI-TRUMP RINO (Republican In Name Only) while his incoming Deputy Chief Of Staff has used the BAD WORD “f***ers” to refer to HEROIC PATRIOTS LIKE MARCO RUBIO who compromised all their values and gambled the future of the United States on a dictator-hugging invalid just to preserve their own future electoral prospects to be leaders of the PATRIOTIC, anti-AMERICA TRUMP cult.
This, PATRIOTS, is exactly why it’s Donald Trump’s America or nobody’s America at all. I will happily ride this TRUMP TRAIN all the way off the half-finished bridge of ideas that it runs on, gleefully defending the utter destruction of America because the alternative is Joe Biden as president. No way! We can’t have people who use the word “f***er” (it’s so bad I won’t even print it) working for the next president! We need to keep our current president who says things ALIGNED WITH REPUBLICAN VALUES, like calling black people “sons-of-bitches,” calling countries “shit-holes”, praising congressional candidates who bodyslam reporters, “both sides-ing” White Supremacy, and saying “fuck” in TV interviews.
Needless to say, this take is TOO TRIGGERING to STUPID LIB REPUBLICANS WHO LOVE AMERICA MORE THAN TRUMP:
But this is about more than just stopping Democrats from using naughty words as adjectives when it’s totally warranted. This is about the prosperous future of America, the future that all good Republicans have now aligned themselves against. Will this be Joe Biden’s America (that’s bad BTW), or will it be a CONSERVATIVE, REPUBLICAN AMERICA (the good kind of America) led by a HERO like Trump, or at the very least a PATRIOT like Vladimir Putin?
We’re already doing our part, PATRIOTS! It’s not just thanks to Republican Senate heroes like RUSSIA RON Johnson, who works tirelessly for the PATRIOTIC cause of ending Democratic elections in the United States everyday. It’s not just Donald Trump’s past amplification of Russian disinformation designed to help his 2016 campaign and potential obstruction of justice to cover that up. It’s not just Trump’s private meetings with PATRIOT PUTIN of which records are sealed, and of course, Trump’s public statements siding with RUSSIAN PROPAGANDA over the statements of American intelligence gatherers. Nope, today we learned that the MOST PATRIOTIC REPUBLICAN destruction of America’s standing and security has been carried out by Trump in just the last few months.
We learned this thanks to a LEAK by LEFTIST, COMMUNIST Tom Bossert, the former homeland security adviser to President Trump (Secret lib? Note: Check before publishing.) and deputy homeland security adviser to LEFTIST President George W. Bush. Bossert writes in the LIBERAL RAG New York Times that “the networks of the federal government and much of corporate America are now compromised by a foreign nation,” which, he says, is almost certainly Russia, and he says that TRUMP (TRUMP! TRUMP!) is about to leave the U.S. Government in this state of “compromise” (I assume because he’s too busy retweeting Lou Dobbs).
The Russians have had access to a considerable number of important and sensitive networks for six to nine months. The Russian S.V.R. will surely have used its access to further exploit and gain administrative control over the networks it considered priority targets. . . It will take years to know for certain which networks the Russians control and which ones they just occupy. . . The logical conclusion is that we must act as if the Russian government has control of all the networks it has penetrated. . . The access the Russians now enjoy could be used for far more than simply spying. . . President Trump is on the verge of leaving behind a federal government, and perhaps a large number of major industries, compromised by the Russian government.Tom Bossert, LEFTIST-SCUM FORMER TRUMP ADVISER
Wait, I thought the Democrats liked “compromise”? Hypocrites much, LIBS?
Bossert says President-elect Biden “must begin his planning to take charge of this crisis” and should “assume that communications about this matter are being read by Russia.” He calls on Trump and Biden to work together for the good of the country. LIKE LEFTIST SCUM!
First of all, Bossert, TRUMP IS MY PRESIDENT ELECT, if you count only TRUMP VOTES, like the Constitution instructs–or at least it should. Second, work “together”? No! It’s TRUMP OR NOTHING for Republicans, just like it always has been for RUSSIA RON, MOSCOW MITCH, LIDDLE MARCO, the various Republicans in Congress that House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy says “Putin pays,” and of course CAPTAIN KOMPROMAT, President T! We won’t be fooled by more LEFTIST PROPAGANDA by a former TRUMP adviser.
PATRIOTS, REPUBLICANS, EVANGELICALS, RUSSIANS, SELF-INTERESTED POLITICAL SYCOPHANTS, we must all stand together now, or we shall hang separately! We must downplay and ignore this threat, while continuing to pretend that Donald Trump isn’t totally fucking up the job of the presidency and threatening the lives of every single American. We must FINISH THE JOB that we Republicans started four years ago with the election of Donald J(onestown) Trump, the most PATRIOTICALLY unfit candidate for president in American history, and we must DESTROY THIS COUNTRY so Joe Biden can never become president and turn it into a LEFTIST HELL-SCAPE that gives its suffering citizens more than $600 for every eight months of pandemic suffering.
America Isn’t Worth Protecting Unless Trump Is Allowed To Keep Destroying It, Libs!
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Snowmageddon part II WHITED OUT the NFL in week 12.
A game in Buffalo was cancelled, players were trapped under as much as 10 FEET of snow, and global warming was FINALLY PROVEN FALSE.
I don’t know what net neutrality is. And, frankly, I never really gave a s***… until today.
That’s because TODAY, President Barack HUSSEIN Obama announced his support for net neutrality in a statement and a newfangled videotaped message…
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Today is Election Day! And, for once, Republicans can go to the polls without fearing that America is going to foolishly vote for a black communist to destroy it!!
John Coleman has weathered a lot of storms. Thunderstorms. Hail storms. Sh** storms….
So he’s not too worried about the latest storm… a firestorm. Of controversy. Continue reading
UPDATE: I finally saw “Interstellar” and it was actually great, and has little to do with global warming. However, I stand by this reporting 100%
What do OBAMA, science textbooks, and Christopher Nolan’s new movie “Interstellar” all have in common?
America is the GREATEST, FREEST, most PROSPEROUS NATION that GOD ever put on this EARTH.
But AMERICANS are very stupid.