Category: campaign

YOU DO HAVE TO LIVE LIKE A REFUGEE…GOP LEADERS DRAW THE LINE!!!

 
The attacks in Paris, horrific as they were, brought out the best in humanity. In our darkest hour, the bright lights of libertè shone brightly. Mankind stood up to the barbarity of those who would see the accomplishments of civilization rolled back. It declared in one voice, “We will not be afraid.” 

Freedom rings, whether in the form of a HEROIC PATRIOT who blindly slams closed the door to safety in the face of refugees fleeing violence and persecution, or in the form of ANOTHER HEROIC PATRIOT who isn’t afraid to call freedom’s enemy by its real name: BARACK OBAMA.

Republicans did what they always do in times of crisis…LEAD.

I found this comprehensive list of the most heroic statements made by TRUE PATRIOTS since the Paris attacks. Here are the highlights:

1. Ted Cruz: Keep Out Them Muzlims!!!  

The junior senator from Texas just introduced a bill in the Senate to ban any Muslim refugees from Syria. 

Only Christian refugees, says Cruz. It’s a totally understandable position, because like the Constitution clearly says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof… but if you’re not from around these here parts, we’ll totally make laws that say what religion you can be.” Principles. Founding principles. Let’s get back to ’em.

And Cruz clearly understands what Obama can’t, which is, it is that easy to spot a Muslim. Just look at ’em. They stick out like a sore thumb in a crowd of Syrian refugees.

Brown skin, don’t let ’em in, right? Boom. WHY CAN’T WE ELECT THIS MAN PRESIDENT???

Cruz knows the only thing that matters is helping people who are like you. And why not? It’s not like he worships a guy who told a parable about a guy helping another guy who was of a different ethnoreligious group, in order to illustrate the meaning of the word “neighbor.”

2. MIKE HUCKABEE: HUCK-A-BIGOTRY

 

On Fox News Radio on Sunday, he said this about his plans for Syrian refugees: “Heck, we may take them to the University of Missouri. … A lot of the students are so stressed out from feeling unsafe because somebody said a word they didn’t like that they are not using their dorm rooms anymore. Maybe we can put them there.” 

Yeah, those bastards at Mizzou left their perfectly good poop-swastika covered dorms just because people were threatening to shoot them up. Well, let’s see how they like it when we put a bunch of Syrians there. You guys kinda miss that poop-swastika now, don’t cha? Well, that’s what you get for not appreciating the opportunity to enjoy 2 American values, guns and racism, firsthand.

Yep, put the refugees in the Mizzou dorms. It solves 2 problems: keeping terrorists out of our country and getting those lazy blacks off the couch and into the workforce.

Oh, wait, no it doesn’t. Oh well.

Mike Huckabee isn’t obligated to help the suffering and the poor. It’s not like he fanatically claims that all of his decisions are guided by a guy who said we should give away our possessions and help the less fortunate without any thought of ourselves.

He’s under no obligation to love his neighbor.

“So you don’t like that great idea?said Huckabee. “Fine. How about this one?”

“[L]isten, all of these feel good liberals who say we ought to be taking in refugees, how come they never end up in the neighborhood where the limousine liberal lives? Behind gated communities and with armed security around. Mrs. Clinton, you have suggested we take in 65,00 refugees, how many can we bring to your neighborhood in Chappaqua? Can you please just give us a number. That would be the question that I would like to ask her.”

(“Please” give us a number, Mrs. Clinton. Huckabee is definitely the most polite bigot.)

Yeah, why don’t we just put the refugees in the homes of the “limousine liberals.” Or better yet, the “private plane progressives”? Maybe even the “Diamond ring democrats”. All those liberals are so rich, not like Republicans. Let them solve the world’s problems and us Republicans will continue to do our job: causing problems.

Speaking of which…
3. DONALD TRUMP: “BIG BEAUTIFUL SAFE-ZONE”  

“In Syria, take a big swatch of land, which, believe me, you get for the right price, OK? … What I’d like is build a safe zone … build a big, beautiful safe zone, and you have whatever it is so people can live, and they’ll be happier.”

(Not the worst idea. Close to it.)

Trump has stumbled upon a great solution here. Put the refugees in refugee camp–I mean “safe zones”. Yeah, safe zones. What’s not to like, they’re safe because they’re in a safe zone.

It’s so easy.

I bet when the millions of displaced persons in Syria and the refugees living in camps nearby hear about the safe zone they’re going to be thilled. Finally they’ll be safe. Safe from the violence and mistreatment of the typical refugee camp. Safe from the barrel bombs targeting civilians which are frequently dropped by the Assad regime. Safe from ISIS.

So, who’s going to keep them safe? Like all of the questions about Trump’s policies, the answer is surprisingly simple: Don’t worry about it.

Trump will simply tell you what you need to know: It’ll be the biggest, most luxurious safe zone you’ve ever… You’ll be very happy there, believe me.

Believe him. He’s God.

HATE DEBATE MILWAUKEE!!! NOVEMBER 2015 EDITION!!! RECAP!!!

  
Here’s what you need to know about tonight’s Republican debate:

1. Rick Perry is still in this race….

Oh, wait that was Ted Cruz. This is Rick Perry…

See how different they are? 

Some people like to say all Republican presidential candidates are the same–that they have the same ideas–but I disagree. They are like 15 snowflakes, each one unique and perfect. 

For example, yes, they all hate immigrants, but they each do it in a unique and individual way. Donald Trump says, “WE NEED TO GET RID OF ALL THE MEXICANS!!!” Ben Carson says, “We need to get rid of all the Mexicans.” 

Trump says “OBAMA IS NEVILLE CHAMBERLAIN!!!” Ted Cruz says, “Obama is Hitler.” Ben Carson says, “Obama is Muslim.” 

Trump says, “GET RID OF THE GOVERNMENT.” Rand Paul says, “Get rid of the government” with pubes on his head. Carson says, “Throw rocks and hammers and bricks at the government… to get rid of it.” Ted Cruz says, “Get rid of something, but I can’t remember what it is.”

Totally. Different. Ideas.

2. Eisenhower is making a comeback!!!

As liberal rag MotherJones.com explains…

Donald Trump was asked about immigration at tonight’s debate and answered with some ramble about Eisenhower or something.

Anyway, here’s what happened on Google:

  

Congratulations, Eisenhower on officially getting more interest from  2016 Republican primary voters than Jim Gilmore, George Pataki, and Bobby Jindal combined, during your one minute of interest.

Also, congratulations America, for apparently not knowing who Dwight Eisenhower was.

  
3. THE WAGES ARE TOO DAMN HIGH!!!

It’s no secret that lazy, good for nothing Communists want “wages” and “salaries.” Well, at tonight’s Republican debate, Billionaire Donald Trump, the man who is funding his own multi-million dollar campaign for president, told it like it is. 

YOUR WAGES ARE TOO HIGH, YOU LOW F#@%ING ENERGY, PATHOLOGICALLY DISEASED, WEAK, STUPID LOSER!!!

Here’s what Donald Trump said. 

And, not to be out gaffed, Ben Carson IMMEDIATELY followed with this…

So, in other words, eat your experience poor people!

Also, WTF was that map?

  

Take as long as you like. It doesn’t get any clearer.

And, because I know you dirty liberal communists are about to ask, YES THE WAGES ARE TOO HIGH, and NO, THE RENT IS NOT TOO DAMN HIGH!!!

4. To sum up…

In other words, Hate Debate Milwaukee! November 2015 edition! is best summed up thusly…

  

DONALD TRUMP SAYS SOMETHING RACIST… EVERYONE ACTS SURPRISED 

 
At a town hall event in Rochester, New Hampshire Thursday night, Donald Trump got a question from a guy who was, well, exactly the kind of guy you’d expect to find at a Donald Trump town hall event…

…a PATRIOT!

The man made a perfectly reasonable point about Muslims, or as I like to call them, Obamas, because Obama is a Muslim, as this man clearly knew, because he came armed with FACTS!!!

Here’s the exchange (CAPITALIZATION added for emphasis on the PATRIOTIC PARTS)…

MAN: “We have a PROBLEM in this country… It’s called MUSLIMS. We know our current president IS ONE.”

TRUMP: “RIGHT.”

Now, at this point, I can see no controversy whatsoever. Let’s continue…

MAN: “You know he’s NOT even AMERICAN.”

Oh, he knows. He knows…

TRUMP: “We NEED this QUESTION, this is the FIRST QUESTION.”

MAN: “We have TRAINING CAMPS growing where THEY WANT TO KILL US… That’s my question…

What? It’s not.

MAN: WHEN CAN WE GET RID OF THEM?”

There’s a question…

TRUMP: “We’re going to be LOOKING AT A LOT OF DIFFERENT THINGS. A LOT of people are saying that, and A LOT of people are saying that BAD THINGS are happening out there. We’re going to be looking at THAT AND PLENTY OF OTHER THINGS.”

Is this the same unspecified “lot of people” who say that the Constitution doesn’t guarantee birthright citizenship? ‘Cause I like those people.

I’d like to meet them.

Anyway, I see nothing remotely controversial in Trump’s comments. He simply agreed with THE FACT that President Obama, wasn’t born in America, which is familiar to Fox News viewers, because Trump said it on Fox, dozens of times–and which also happens to sound completely insane to everyone else…because they are wrong–and he also agreed that Muslims are building camps in the United States from which to attack us and that he’s going to “look into it.” This is also a confirmed news story from a reputable, non-MSM/non-libtarded source.

Just because there isn’t any evidence doesn’t mean it’s not true libs…

Which should be the Trump campaign’s standard response to all media inquiries about his comments by now.

But of course, all the libs FREAKED OUT…because they don’t understand that civil rights don’t apply to Obamas…

  
  
  
But maybe there is a silver lining to all of this anti-Christian outrage…

  
It’s a Trump-fullfilling prophecy.

MIKE HUCKABEE, CHRISTIAN

 
Mike Huckabee is not an egotistical man.

Mike Huckabee does not exploit people’s willingness to buy into an extremely bigoted brand of anti-homosexual rhetoric.

Mike Huckabee isn’t in it for himself.

Mine Huckabee just wants to do what Jesus calls all Christians to do: keep the gays from being married. And he’s calling you to speak out and do the same, shouting it from the rooftops!!!

  

…unless you’re Ted Cruz, in which case, sorry, there’s no more room at the bigotry lunch table…

  

When Mr. Cruz, who met with Ms. Davis, exited the Carter County Detention Center, a throng of journalists beckoned him toward their microphones, but an aide to Mr. Huckabee blocked the path of the senator, who appeared incredulous.

Soon after, Ms. Davis emerged, apparently wearing the same clothes she had worn in court Thursday. Mr. Huckabee stuck close by her side, along with Mr. Staver and her husband, Joe, as they approached the reporters and cameras. Ms. Davis remained silent, letting Mr. Staver and Mr. Huckabee do the talking.

  

Mr. Huckabee, a former Baptist pastor, cast the dispute as a matter of religious freedom threatened by overreaching courts, while Mr. Cruz stood to the side, keeping an unusually low profile.

“If you have to put someone in jail, let me go,” Mr. Huckabee told the crowd. “Every one of us will have to decide whether we want to keep this great country or whether we want to surrender and sacrifice it to tyranny.”

Let me go to jail, Huckabee continued, because I’m the only one here… Not that it’s about me. It’s totally about keeping the gays from getting married.

Pay no attention to the pasty white bigot shrouded behind my loyal apostle! I’m the bigot you’re looking for!

… Oh and also that lady, Kim whatshername? Davids? Davis? 

Like the Bible says, and Mike Huckabee well knows…

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus…

…but if you need to get some votes because you’re polling at like 2% in the US Presidential election, seriously, F#@% those other guys. 

– Phillipians 2:1-10

  

 And as the Bible also says, and Mike Huckabee well knows…

If I alone bear witness about myself, my testimony is not deemed true…
…but if you’re really smart about what Jesus thinks about the US Constitution, then you should talk about how smart you are. 

Duh.

– John 5:31

 God. Guns. Grits. Gravy. Gays.

  
I mean, no gays. 

Definitely no gays.

DONALD TRUMP GAVE OUT HOME IMPROVEMENT TIPS AT HIS TOWN HALL

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Welcome to This Old House with Donald Trump.

This week, we’ll learn how to build a 30-foot, 40-foot, or even 50-foot, anti-rapist wall with just a few pieces of pre-cast plank and a hefty dose of bigotry…

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LOSER RAND PAUL TAKES ON THE DONALD, LOSES

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Rand Paul tryed to take it to the DONALD this week, with a new YouTube video designed to protray him as a Demacrat (He’s late to the party by the way, I wrote about how TRUMP was a doubble agent months ago).

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SCOTT WALKER CREATES JOBS WHILE EATING INCORRECT CHEESESTEAK, MEDIA IGNORES HIM AND COVERS TRUMP

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Republican presidential candidate Scott Walker was in the Keystone state today, where he made pilgrimages to two Philadelphia institutions, and created a job while also pissing off every idiot in Philly.

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GREAT DONALD TRUMP MOMENTS IN DONALD TRUMP’S ANNOUNCEMENT THAT DONALD TRUMP IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF TRUMP (AND ALSO AMERICA, OR SOMETHING)

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Listen. Today is the greatest day in the history of days. It LITERALLY TRUMPS all the other days.

Today DONALD TRUMP announced that he is giving the American people the honor of having DONALD TRUMP run for President of the United States.

And TRUMP made the announcement in the most TRUMP-TASTIC of ways: a bombastic, rambling, over-the-top, hilarious, combative, inflammatory, six-hour-long, hate-f#@% of a speech at TRUMP Tower in New York City.

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