PATRIOTS, we’re breaking every record for historic presidential achievement! Donald Trump is now the first president to ever be impeached TWICE! Most impeached in history! Woo! Crack open a can of Goya to celebrate!
The great, presidential accomplishment that led to TRUMP’S second impeachment? “Incitement of insurrection!” The House of Representatives voted 232 to 197 to impeach Trump on a single article that, in addition to the “insurrection” language, accused Trump of “inciting violence against the government of the United States.” WINNING, BABY! The article even calls for Trump to be disqualified from ever holding public office again!
Trump! Trump! Trump!
Now, PATRIOTS, some LIBS might try to tell you that this is BAD, that Donald Trump’s second impeachment is a stain on his presidency that indicates he is a woefully un-American narcissist hell-bent on destroying Democracy! Hogwash! TRUMP did it! He proved that the LIBS are a bunch of CRYBABY SNOWFLAKES who can’t even take it when their precious democracy is hollowed out and shat in like a dead tree! CRY MORE, LIB!
We will never admit that our MAGA (Make America Grieve Again) movement was a stain on our nation’s history. WE LOVE OUR PRESIDENT! WE WILL NEVER ADMIT WE WERE WRONG! DENIAL!
That’s all we’ve got at this point.
But TRUMP is just getting warmed up because on the same day he got a LEFTIST SNUB from Trump-supporting coach Bill Belichick, TRUMP TRUMPED! He gave the Presidential Medal Of Freedom to country singers TOBY KIETH and RICKY SKAGGS in a private ceremony at the White House! The ceremony was PRIVATE! How good is this Republican presidency going? Country music singers don’t want to be seen in public receiving an award from the president!
As Toby Keith would say, “The Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist!”
And to top it all off, TRUMP is said to be “isolated and angry at aides for failing to defend him,” according to the Loser Bezos Washington Post. Because of that, Trump is now REFUSING to pay the legal fees of his most loyal, bootlicking, sycophantic “lawyer” Rudy Giuliani.
PATRIOTS, like the country of America, no one has done more to promote, aid, and prop-up Donald Trump than Rudy Giuliani. I mean, for goodness sake, Rudy went to every state in the Union and spread Trump’s entirely false election fraud claims to undermine democracy, all while dealing with a serious case of SHITHEAD DISEASE, a disease which literally caused shit to leak out of Rudy’s head. Rudy went from America’s Mayor, to a bumbling, babbling, crotch grabbing oaf who tried to get Ukranian officials to fabricate evidence against his political opponents and held an election fraud press conference at a place called “Four Seasons Total Landscaping” right next to a sex-toy shop in Philly! He called members of Congress during the Trump assault on the Capitol to try to convince them to side with Trump over democracy! He literally DESTROYED his own humanity to HELP TRUMP LIE! And so, Donald Trump is treating Rudy the same way he treated America, the country responsible for his near-success. He’s saying F*** ‘EM! I GOT MINE JACK! GO POUND SAND! BIGLY!
To paraphrase the words of Ricky Bobby’s dad in Talladega Nights, “it’s the winners who get paid!”
Suck it America! We’ve got a 187 IQ, and we hate America, and we love TRUMP! No contradiction there, right Rudy?
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