Today was supposed to be the day, PATRIOTS!
December 14, 2020 was supposed to go down in history as the day when GREATEST PRESIDENT IN HISTORY DONALD J(erkoff) TRUMP ascended to the throne of the REBORN AND MADE GREAT AGAIN American empire on the back of a soaring man-eagle hybrid with the motor-oil-leaking head of Rudy Giuliani atop its feathery neck, with CROOKED Hillary and Lyin’ Joe in its talons, before it subsequently dropped those two DEMOCRATIC HEATHENS into the pit of Mount Doom and then gently deposited Mr. Tangerine Man on the steps of a renovated, gold-plated White House (furthermore to be called the “Gold House”), which would be patriotically adorned with a giant, bold lettered sign that read “Merry Christmas” year-round, just to own the STUPID LIBS.
Instead, PATRIOTIC TRUMPUBLICANS, Joe Biden is being certified as President-Elect by the Electoral College because of FRAUDULENT VOTE COUNTING (also known as the Constitutional process by which democratic elections in the United States have been conducted since the formation of the country).
Yes, Sleepy, Creepy Joe is set to lock up a 306-232 FAKE(real) victory in the Electoral College, which is the Constitutionally-mandated decider of who the next president should be, for some weird-ass reason. Now, heroes of the TRUMPOMAN EMPIRE, my views on the Constitution are well-established by now (I think it’s THE GREATEST DOCUMENT IN HUMAN HISTORY and the basis for all of my core, conservative beliefs), and far be it from me to flip-flop on my UNFLINCHING, CORE PRINCIPLES, but I gotta say, I don’t really care much for that Constitution, and I never did.
In fact, IT TURNS OUT THE CONSTITUTION WAS JUST A SECRET LIB-TARD THE ENTIRE TIME! The Constitution is the Mitt Romney of documents. It tells you that it’s on your side, but when push comes to shove and you try to subvert the will of the people to illegally empower an orange, fascist tangerine with unlimited sway over the future of the world’s most powerful democracy, ol’ lazy, lyin’ Constitution sides with the SICK LOSER LIBS WHO SUPPORT “LIBERAL DEMOCRACY,” just like “pompous ass” Mitt Romney.
I say, we replace that DISGRACEFUL, ANTI-TRUMP U.S. Constitution with a more useful document, like a transcript of tonight’s programming on Newsmax or an unabridged copy of The Art Of The Deal (but get your own copy, America, because like all TRUE CONSERVATIVES, I sleep with my copy of what I call the “good book.”)
Anyway, it’s been a real shit day for us Democracy-overthrowing constitutionalists. Luckily, if it’s a day ending in “day,” that means Donald Trump has not yet conceded defeat in the 2020 presidential election. TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! Inject the DELUSION straight into my veins so that I can feel alive again! (Just like when I saw those guys marching with their tiki-torches!)
Today’s PATRIOTIC promoter of fascism is NAZI-PENIS HYBRID, and Trump White House Child-Separator-In-Chief, Stephen Miller, who says that even though the Electoral College is voting Joe Biden the President-Elect, Donald J(onestown) Trump can totally still be the next president, in this real, totally not-fake universe. He just needs his “alternate” electors, which is a totally real thing that totally exists in the Constitution, and isn’t something he just made up!
The only date in the Constitution is January 20, so we have more than enough time to right the wrong of this fraudulent election and certify Donald Trump as the winner of the election. As we speak, today, an alternate slate of electors in the contested states is going to vote and we are going to send those results up to Congress.”Stephen Miller
Alternate electors! You don’t like the electors who are going to support Biden? Well, just pick some “alternate” ones who will subvert Democracy the way you want! And alternate electors are a totally real thing. Just look at this FACT that I found to support my claim. [Note: insert fact here when you find it.]
And even if the existence of “alternate” electors isn’t FACTUAL, that doesn’t mean it isn’t TRUTH! We all know TRUTH isn’t something you can “prove” with “facts.” Just ask these SANE people who showed up at the Michigan capitol today, claiming to be “alternate” electors who were just there to do their (un)Constitutional duty and cast their REAL VOTE for REAL PRESIDENT Donald Trump.
Then, the LIBERALLY-BIASED POLICE blocked them from entering the capitol and voting to make Donald Trump the next president, just because they had no reason to be there and because, “The electors are already here.” REALLY, OFFICER? The electors are already here? You know what else was already here? The MAIL-IN VOTES FOR JOE BIDEN THAT WEREN’T COUNTED UNTIL AFTER ELECTION DAY, and we all know those were FAKE(real).
And just because there’s ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in the Constitution about having “alternate” electors, that doesn’t mean it’s not a CONSTITUTIONAL VIOLATION to stop them from VOTING TRUMP like GOOD PATRIOTS!
These THOUGHT(actual) POLICE had no reason to block PATRIOTIC, anti-DEMOCRACY Trump supporters from entering the capitol to make their voices heard, either.
Because there were “credible threats of violence” made against the vote?
Sounds like more LIBERAL PROPAGANDA to me, and Michigan GOP Lawmaker Gary Eisen, thought so, too, which is why he amplified those threats of violence in a radio interview this morning.
Eisen twice hinted that violence could occur related to a “Hail Mary” effort by him and other GOP lawmakers to block the Electoral College’s electors selection of Biden, a Democrat, over President Donald Trump, a Republican.
His interviewer on WPHM-AM said he was “concerned about violence today in Lansing,” given Eisen’s vague description of what Republicans planned to do.
The interviewer then asked Eisen, “Can you assure me that this is going to be a safe day in Lansing, nobody’s going to get hurt?”
The lawmaker paused and then said, “No.”
“I don’t know, because what we’re doing today is uncharted, it hasn’t been done, and it’s not me doing it, it’s the Michigan House, it’s the Michigan party … I’m just here to witness,” said Eisen, who represents St. Clair Township.CNBC
And just for that simple, straightforward plea for PEACE, Gary Eisen was stripped of his committee assignments by Michigan Republican leaders, AKA LIBERAL LEFTISTS, just because ““We as elected officials must be clear that violence has no place in our democratic process. We must be held to a higher standard.”
Hogwash! If there’s one thing America has learned from Republicans’ blind support of PRESIDENT T’s abuse of power, corruption, bungled leadership, and vulgar public behavior, it’s that CONSERVATIVE POLITICIANS MUST ALWAYS BE HELD TO A LOWER STANDARD!
And that’s why HEROIC, CHILD-SEPARATING NAZI Stephen Miller can insist that the 2020 election is being fraudulently stolen (by legal votes) from LIBERTY-LOVING authoritarian Trump, and, in the same breath, Miller can argue that Donald Trump’s team of lawyers aren’t the worst lawyers in the world even though they’ve lost over 50 attempts to make that argument in court, despite arguing in front of judges who are supposedly loyal to the anti-democracy cause because they were appointed by Trump.
And, if you, LOYAL TRUMPER, are watching that scene of seeming insanity, and cognitive dissonance unfolding at the highest levels of your country, and unfolding in a way that is so incompetent that it tests even the patience of the Trump-loving hosts of Fox And Friends, just remember, this is ALL GOING GREAT!
Why? Because CONSERVATIVE POLITICIANS MUST ALWAYS BE HELD TO A LOWER STANDARD! Duh!
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