FART-GATE! Giuliani infected days after ripping one on LEFTISTS at election hearing

Internet piles on Rudy Giuliani over possible fart - New York Daily News
“ERRRRRRRTTTT.” – Rudy Giuliani’s Butt

The LEFTIST plot to steal the election from Donald Trump with proper vote counting just got a little bit crazier, patriots. Days after NUMBER ONE TRUMP PUMPER Rudolph (the rip roaring reindeer) Giuliani appeared at a Michigan hearing to air unsubstantiated TRULY-false claims of election fraud, he’s suddenly and SUSPICIOUSLY tested positive for the CHINESE HOAX VIRUS.

And, patriots, I know some of you might be thinking that Rudy’s constant, blatant, egregious, in-the-face-of-all-science-and-common-sense refusal to wear a mask even when interacting with hundreds of people on a daily basis is to blame for his infection with this FAKE disease that disappeared like a miracle in March, but I’d like to posit a MUCH MORE REASONABLE THEORY.


While the FAKE NEWS wants you to believe Rudy broke wind at the hearing, a CLOSER INSPECTION of the video reveals the TOOT is actually the sound of something going in, not out. FAKE CHINA VIRUS!

PATRIOTS, we’ve just uncovered a massive conspiracy. CHINA AND THE LIBS (aka the fake Republicans who were running this election hearing) wanted to take out the TOP SPEWER of TRUMP’S WILD, ANTI-DEMOCRACY CLAIMS with a butt-full of fake virus. Luckily, Rudy wasn’t wearing his mask, like a true hero, so much of that fake virus escaped through his mouth in the form of more LIES. GET IT YET, LIBS? LIES SAVE LIVES! MASKS KILL! TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP!

In other words, sorry, GRINCH FAUCI, but it wasn’t this that got Rudy sick…

No. Despite the lies of the CDC and NIH ANTI-FREEDOM TERRORISTS, what got Rudy sick with the fake, non-existent virus that all the LEFTIST hospitals and doctors are LYING about was this…

But stand fast, FREEDOM-HUGGERS, because Rudy is in good hands, with the best doctors and hospitals in the world, right here in the GOOD ‘OL US OF A, which has the most advanced medical and scientific community in the world (which I both love and hate, because COGNITIVE DISSONANCE!)


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