MIKE HUCKABEE, CHRISTIAN

 
Mike Huckabee is not an egotistical man.

Mike Huckabee does not exploit people’s willingness to buy into an extremely bigoted brand of anti-homosexual rhetoric.

Mike Huckabee isn’t in it for himself.

Mine Huckabee just wants to do what Jesus calls all Christians to do: keep the gays from being married. And he’s calling you to speak out and do the same, shouting it from the rooftops!!!

  

…unless you’re Ted Cruz, in which case, sorry, there’s no more room at the bigotry lunch table…

  

When Mr. Cruz, who met with Ms. Davis, exited the Carter County Detention Center, a throng of journalists beckoned him toward their microphones, but an aide to Mr. Huckabee blocked the path of the senator, who appeared incredulous.

Soon after, Ms. Davis emerged, apparently wearing the same clothes she had worn in court Thursday. Mr. Huckabee stuck close by her side, along with Mr. Staver and her husband, Joe, as they approached the reporters and cameras. Ms. Davis remained silent, letting Mr. Staver and Mr. Huckabee do the talking.

  

Mr. Huckabee, a former Baptist pastor, cast the dispute as a matter of religious freedom threatened by overreaching courts, while Mr. Cruz stood to the side, keeping an unusually low profile.

“If you have to put someone in jail, let me go,” Mr. Huckabee told the crowd. “Every one of us will have to decide whether we want to keep this great country or whether we want to surrender and sacrifice it to tyranny.”

Let me go to jail, Huckabee continued, because I’m the only one here… Not that it’s about me. It’s totally about keeping the gays from getting married.

Pay no attention to the pasty white bigot shrouded behind my loyal apostle! I’m the bigot you’re looking for!

… Oh and also that lady, Kim whatshername? Davids? Davis? 

Like the Bible says, and Mike Huckabee well knows…

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus…

…but if you need to get some votes because you’re polling at like 2% in the US Presidential election, seriously, F#@% those other guys. 

– Phillipians 2:1-10

  

 And as the Bible also says, and Mike Huckabee well knows…

If I alone bear witness about myself, my testimony is not deemed true…
…but if you’re really smart about what Jesus thinks about the US Constitution, then you should talk about how smart you are. 

Duh.

– John 5:31

 God. Guns. Grits. Gravy. Gays.

  
I mean, no gays. 

Definitely no gays.

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