HEY FLORIDA, DON’T TOUCH THOSE ARMADILLOS… BECAUSE THEY HAVE LEPROSY (AND ALSO WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING THEM ANYWAY?) ((BECAUSE YOU’RE FLORIDA?) (OH))

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What’s that Floridians?

You already made that Armadillo into a stew and ate it?

DAMMIT, FLORIDA!

Well, sh**, I guess you don’t want to read this then…

Florida health and wildlife experts are warning residents to steer clear of armadillos in light of a reported spike in cases of leprosy.

So far this year, nine cases have been reported in Florida, according to the state Department of Health. Between two and 12 cases are reported each year, an agency spokesman told WTLV on Tuesday.

Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

After all…

While it’s possible, there’s a low risk of contracting the disease from armadillos and most people coming into contact with them are unlikely to get Hansen’s disease [Leprosy], according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

So unless you have a pet armadillo, that you have a lot of contact with, specifically in the mouth area, you’ve likely got nothing to worry about.

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DAMMIT, FLORIDA!

Leave it to you to spread a disease that the rest of the civilized world eradicated in like the 1800s.

Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ was around the last time people were talking about leprosy. Now, thanks to the people of Florida, America’s Ball Sack, possibly thousands will be infected with the horrible, almost comically unusual disease.

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But how did leprosy get to Florida? Did it fester in one of the state’s many grotesque swamps, waiting in the weeds to latch on to some unsuspecting piece of “white trash” that happened to jump in to hunt alligators or “rinse off”?

Or was the leprosy deliberately planted?

Who could have done it, though? Who could OBAMA have used to carry out such a task? What sleeper cells or agents does he have in Florida?

The answer is obvious…

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That’s right. Former Governor CHARLIE CRIST! THE FAN MAN. Clearly OBAMA has infected his loyal ally, Crist, with leprosy and dispatched him to the backwoods of Florida in order to f*** wild armadillos and spread disease throughout the entire God-forsaken state as punishment for the fact Florida elected Republican Rick Scott instead of the Democrat Crist.

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IT JUST MAKES SENSE!!!

Think about it. What are the symptoms of leprosy? Skin lesions? Charlie Crist’s skin is ONE GIANT, ORANGE LESION.

This is just another example of the power of Obama’s ever-growing bureaucracy and why we need to STOP HILLARY.

Who knows what she’d do as president–Infect Joe Biden with Mumps and send him to Boise, Iowa?

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It’s possible.

HILLARY AND OBAMA MUST BE STOPPED BEFORE AMERICA BECOMES A NATION OF LEPERS AND MUMPERS!!!

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