ABJECT TERROR: DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APE CHEFS

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I sounded the alarms. I watched the documentaries. But foolish liberals didn’t listen.

And now the next step towards the Planet of the Apes has been taken. Apes are learning to cook:

“It’s not that the animals are ready to go head-to-head with Gordon Ramsay, but scientists from Harvard and Yale found that chimps have the patience and foresight to resist eating raw food and to place it in a device meant to appear, at least to the chimps, to cook it.

Let me translate that into lib-speak for you ignorant libs…

WE’RE FUCKED!!! HOLY SHIT THE HUMAN RACE IS FUCKED!!!

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Monkeys are learning to cook. If they can cook, they can kill. If they can kill, they can take humanity down. Humanity’s days are numbered. Enjoy it while it lasts.

The monkeys are getting smarter and LIBTARD SCIENCE BITCHES are helping them…

“Dr. [Asshole] said the experiments showed not only that chimps had the patience for cooking, but that they had the “minimal causal understanding they would need” to make the leap to cooking.”

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It’s no surprise to any patriot who reads this blog that the monkeys are rising. I’ve warned many times that the feckless liberal administration controlling America has long been seeking to weaponize primates against those who seek to preserve our Constitutional freedoms. In clear un-exaggerated language, I warned last year that Obama sought to use Ebola virus in order to engineer “mindless, hyper-intelligent, banana-fueled killing machines.” The facts on this matter were clear. Yet no one listened.

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Typical Democrats, unwilling to commit American military power to fighting our enemies (monkeys) abroad when we still could have stopped them, now watch in wonder as “scientists” make “discoveries” about what “monkeys” can “cook”.

As if their shambolic liberal science plots aren’t as transparent as their liberal science bitch glasses…

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It’s time to stand up for freedom and remove our primate-coddling Monkey-In-Chief (not in the racist way) or the next dish that Cocoa the Monkey cooks up…

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…MIGHT BE YOU!!!!

There’s only one man who can save us. And, surprise, it’s not Reagan. It’s a man so hostile, so abrasive, so fucking rude that he can make the monkeys never want to cook again simply through the force of sheer British wit and insults…

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HELP US GORDON RAMSAY!!! YOU’RE AMERICA’S ONLY HOPE… YOU CRANKY BRITISH BASTARD.

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