WE DIDN’T TORTURE, WE JUST BROUGHT TERRORISTS CLOSER TO JESUS

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The liberal apologists are at it again.

This time they’re apologizing for America’s so-called “torture” of AL QAEDA TERRORISTS, just because it violates the liberally biased Geneva Conventions.

Today, LIBERAL DEMOCRATS on the Senate Intelligence Committee, led by dangerous she-devil Senator Dianne Feinstein, painted their MASTERPIECE OF ANTI-AMERICANISM: their 6,700 page report on the CIA’s use of “Enhanced Interrogation,” or what liberals falsely call torture.

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I tried to read the report, but I’m pretty sure having to read and comprehend more than 6,000 pages of LIBERAL LIES is the REAL definition of TORTURE, so I found an article from the Associated Press that lays out the main points…

Treatment in secret prisons after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks was worse than the government told Congress or the public, said the report from the Senate Intelligence Committee, the first official public accounting after years of debate about the CIA’s brutal handling of prisoners.

Tactics used included weeks of sleep deprivation, slapping and slamming of detainees against walls, confining them to small boxes, keeping them isolated for prolonged periods and threatening them with death. Three detainees faced the simulated drowning technique known as waterboarding. Many developed psychological problems.

Meh.

What’s the big deal? These TERRORISTS WOULD DO WORSE TO US IF THEY COULD.

And, as I’ve said on the record many times, the only measure of whether or not something is morally right is if it’s SLIGHTLY LESS WORSE than something Al Qaeda would do. Waterboarding passes that test with FLYING COLORS, but the liberal apologists are waging an all-out campaign to make us feel guilty about LOVING AMERICA enough to betray all of the principles it was founded upon.

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Sheeple, when did we lose our MORAL COMPASS? (Hint: When was the last time we had a Muslim on the end of a dog leash?)

The CIA’s actions were clearly not “torture.” None of the stuff that they did caused anyone any harm. These were, simply, harmless ENHANCED INTERROGATIONS.

What, you ask, was “enhanced”? Their FAITH IN JESUS’S SAVING POWER, of course…

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Would these MUSLIM HEATHENS ever have spoken to JESUS voluntarily during a NORMAL INTERROGATION? Of course not!

But, thanks to CIA EVANGELISTS, you can bet your a** that Abu Zubaydah had a real nice conversation with OUR LORD AND SAVIOR when, after a few minutes of waterboarding, he became “completely unresponsive with bubbles rising through his open, full mouth.”

Boom, faith ENHANCED.

And how about MUSLIM HEATHEN and 9/11 mastermind Khalid Shaykh Mohammed? Would he have seen the SAVING POWER OF GOD without his interrogation evolving into a “series of near-drownings”? I think not!

I bet Khalid had a nice conversation with the KING OF KINGS around the second or third near-drowning. I like to think it went down like this…

KSM: Jesus, these white devils are torturing me!

JESUS: You mean enhanced interrogating you.

KSM: It’s against the Geneva Conventions!

JESUS: So was 9/11 but that didn’t stop YOU! Oh, by the way, all that Prophet Muhammad stuff is BS, and you’re going to hell.

KSM: What?! Why?!

JESUS: Because you broke the most important of my commandments, loving your neighbor as you would want to be loved.

KSM: But, I’m being waterboarded right now! How is that love!?!?

JESUS: That’s called freedom, a**hole! And it isn’t free! Back to Guantanamo with you…

KSM: No, please! Let me go to hell, now!! I want to–

[Wakes up. Gets waterboarded again. Gives no useful intelligence]

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And, apparently the CIA was so good at spreading Jesus’s love, they decided to do it on a few more guys

The CIA has previously said that only three detainees were ever waterboarded: Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Abu Zubaydah, and Abd Al Rahim al-Nashiri. But records uncovered by the Senate Intelligence Committee suggest there may have been more than three subjects. The Senate report describes a photograph of a “well worn” waterboard, surrounded by buckets of water, at a detention site where the CIA has claimed it never subjected a detainee to this procedure. In a meeting with the CIA in 2013, the agency was not able to explain the presence of this waterboard.

I imagine several more conversations may have happened…

TERRORIST: These white Satans are waterboarding me!

JESUS: Jesus Christ, another one?

But Jesus didn’t send them all back. Some had the privilege of BEING IMMEDIATELY JUDGED BY THE ALMIGHTY and SENT STRAIGHT TO HELL… just like liberals

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In November 2002, a detainee who had been held partially nude and chained to the floor died, apparently from hypothermia. This case appears similar to the that of Gul Rahman, who died of similarly explained causes at an Afghan site known as the “Salt Pit,” also in November 2002. The site was also called “The Dark Prison” by former captives.

The aide said that the Cobalt site was was dark, like a dungeon, and that experts who visited the site said they’d never seen an American prison where people were kept in such conditions. The facility was so dark in some places that guard had to wear head lamps, while other rooms were flooded with bright lights and white noise to disorient detainees.

At the Cobalt facility, the CIA also forced some detainees who had broken feet or legs to stand in stress-inducing positions, despite having earlier pledged that they wouldn’t subject those wounded individuals to treatment that might exacerbate their injuries.

The point is, the CIA’s enhanced interrogation was not “torture” and even if it was, that’s a good thing because these TERRORISTS deserved it… Even the ones “wrongfully” imprisoned…

The CIA also determined that at least 26 of its detainees were wrongfully held. Due to the agency’s poor record-keeping, it may never be known precisely how many detainees were held, and how they were treated in custody, the committee found.

Big deal.

These are TERRORISTS. They want to kill Americans! Torturing them isn’t a problem, libs, because unlike us, terrorists don’t have VALUES!

The REPORT ON IT, however is dangerous, because it puts us at risk. According to Republican Rep. Mike Rogers…

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I think this is a terrible idea. Our foreign partners are telling us this will cause violence and deaths…Foreign leaders have approached the government and said, ‘You do this, this will cause violence and deaths.’ Our own intelligence community has assessed that this will cause violence and deaths.

Yes, clearly! Everyone knows as long as you don’t keep reminding terrorists that they hate America, they will just, you know, forget.

Their terror hatred is so fickle!

So Sheeple, we can’t be releasing reports like this. Reports are dangerous. When we do reports we risk enflaming tensions among our enemies, while there’s nothing to be gained from reports so why did we need to do it? If only Democrats had considered the consequences for our country before they reported.

Even if a report is good for the American people’s need to know the truth, it is outweighed by the need to avoid angering our enemies.

The report is a violation of the values that our country is built on. Do we really want to be the kind of country that reports?

The point is, no one should mistake the fact that the report is the enemy… not the program the report is about.

In other words, HEROES like Rep. Mike Rogers know that the torture– I mean enhanced interrogation– wasn’t the problem. The problem is that somebody reported on it. If those reckless Democrats hadn’t made their report, everything would be fine… because everyone knows that there’s nothing wrong with secret, illegal government programs as long as nobody knows about it.

You just sweep it under the rug and never mention it again. Right Senator John McCain, one of the biggest Hawks in Congress?

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GOP Sen. John McCain, tortured in Vietnam as a prisoner of war, welcomed the report and endorsed its findings in the main.

“We gave up much in the expectation that torture would make us safer,” he said in a Senate speech. “Too much.”

Well, Senator McCain may not like torture but WTF does he know about it? (Ed note: he was tortured)

The American people know the truth.

In a new poll, more than two-thirds say that torture is justified in some circumstances. That’s right! Torture has a higher approval rating than President Obama and Congress COMBINED.

Thanks Obama!

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