REPUBLICANS finally got their balls back. No more of this isolationist bull-SPIT.
The blood from Tuesday night’s violent beat down of the Democratic Party hasn’t even dried on America’s carpet yet, and Republicans are already LOCKING AND LOADING to RAIN HOLY HELL on another one of their enemies– or rather, another many of their enemies.
And this time, the TECTONIC SKULL F***ING they plan on dishing out is pretty much literal– as in SKULL F***ING foreigners who look at us the wrong way with TOMAHAWK MISSILES…
“Already, the hawkish wing of the GOP is planning an ambitious battle plan to revamp American foreign policy: everything from arming Ukraine’s military to reviewing the ISIS war to investigating the U.S. intelligence community’s role in warming relations with Iran.”
Yes! Shock and Awe Part III baby! Maybe even… dare I say it, World War III?
But, even though new blood in the GOP gained control of congress for the old hawks, the hawks aren’t about to let someone else get their hands on the trigger. Guess who’s back in the spotlight and CRAZIER THAN EVER?!?!?! Old Senator Johnny Mac…
“Sen. John McCain, the incoming chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, said he has already discussed a new national-security agenda with fellow Republicans Bob Corker and Richard Burr, the likely incoming chairmen of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and Senate Select Committee on Intelligence… “Burr and Corker and I will be working closely together on everything,” McCain said. “For example, arms for Ukraine’s [government], examination of our strategy in the Middle East, our assets with regard to [Russian President Vladimir] Putin in the region, China’s continued encroachment in the South China Sea.”
So, let’s review all the places that McCain wants to engage in battle with…
– “The Middle East”
– The US Intelligence Community
Wow, I’m tired just thinking about it. That’s going to take a lot of bombs. And we’re probably going to need a bigger army than Obama’s PUNY largest military on Earth…
“McCain said his first order of business as chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee will be to end the budget rule known as sequestration, which requires the U.S. military to cut its budget across the board. “I want to start an examination of our policies in the world and then find out whether we have the capability to meet these expectations,” McCain said.”
“Well, we really thought it was a really good idea to cut spending before we got the power we needed to do so, but now… eh, f*** it, let’s buy some more bombs and tanks. But DON’T spend that money on poor people!” – Sen. John McCain, (R-AZ)
The future is bright for the GOP. We’ve got hawks of all kinds. Old hawks, like McCain, and new hawks, like Tom Cotton of Arkansas, who won a Senate seat on Tuesday and believes ISIS terrorists and mexican drug cartels are collaborating to invade Arkansas because of Obama.
“Get this Mexican terror granny off me!” – Rep. Tom Cotton (R-AR)
But the future is brightening sheeple, because now that the GOP hawks are in charge, we can tackle all the REAL threats that OBAMA has been ignoring, like how ISIS is obviously collaborating with the Mexicans, that they consider infidels and also want to kill, to invade America.
So let’s get to work, GOP. Let’s problem solve!