Republicans are on the verge of conquering Americ–, I mean, “winning the Senate.”
And we’re doing it the way Republicans have always done it. By sticking to our GOOD, CONSERVATIVE VALUES…
Time-tested values like falsely accusing Democrats of helping terrorists, like Georgia Republican Dave Perdue did…
And, lying about being supported by the unions they want to destroy, like Michigan Republican Terri Lynn Land.
That’s just to name a few of the heroes who are about to take back America from the reckless and destructive Obama Democrats. Heroes who stand for things like lowering the minimum wage, cutting welfare, keeping the immigrants out, and busting unions.
But now, there’s a problem with Conservatives’ truthful narrative on these values… FALSE LIBERAL FACTS!
You see sheeple, recently a DANGEROUS MEME has been making its way across the interwebs…
This post, which appeared on Facebook, courtesy of the progressive scumbags at Occupy Democrats seems to contradict many of the talking points that I know to be true.
It turns my world UPSIDE DOWN by shattering my idealistic vision of a WHOLESOME, CONSERVATIVE PAST where all people adhered to my EXAGGERATED WHITE VALUES. People who were led by American Republicans.
Good thing those LIBERAL LIE-FACTS are NOT TRUE.
Oh crap, Politifact says they’re mostly true.
Yes, the political fact checkers at Politifact.com say that 1950’s Republicans supported this LIBERAL COMMUNIST PLATFORM…
“We located a copy of the official party platform from 1956, when Dwight D. Eisenhower was running (successfully, as it turned out) for his second term as president.
All told, the meme is generally accurate in portraying these seven elements of the 1956 platform,”
If that’s the case, there are only two possibilities: (1) My current views make me an extremist, or (2) Hateful liberals have invented a time machine and altered the past to make 1950’s Republicans into Progressive scum.
Since the first is impossible, the SECOND TERRIFYING SCENARIO MUST BE TRUE!
But who could be behind such a sinister plot?
A quick google search turns up this un-doctored photograph…
Recognize that guy on the top of that MAN SANDWICH?
It’s none other than our first gay president, Barack HUSSEIN Obama.
Here’s the twist: that mysterious black and white photo was taken in 1949!!!
Obama was born August 1, 1961.
Sheeple, do you realize the implications of this discovery?
OBAMA IS A TIME-TRAVELING PRESIDENT!
Imagine the horrors that Democrats could unleash with this new power.
They could convince George W. Bush not to invade Iraq. Or, tell Bill Clinton not to hire that Lewinsky girl as an intern. Hell, they could go all the way back to 1776 and replace the Declaration of Independence with a Communist Manifesto.
If Obama is attacking CONSERVATIVE VALUES from the PAST we may have already lost.
That’s why it is imperative that the RNC begins working on my “Cyborg Reagan Initiative.” I’ve spoken of this
Only Cyborg Reagan can go back in time, stop Obama from killing George Washington, and save the future.
It’s time to call on history’s greatest president one last time…
“Come with me if you want to live free.” – RoboReaganMinator (R-800)