RESEARCH PROVES CONSERVATIVES ARE SMARTER

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Crank up some NUGENT, crack open O’Reilly’s latest “killing” book, and listen to some Rush Limbaugh. Research proves it’ll make you smarter.

Game-over, libs.

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New research from Catholic research group the PEW Research Center shows that conservatives are smarter than liberals.

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(Pew research center)

Check out this handy chart, which sums up the findings…

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Summary: (1) Conservatives get their news from the only source that’s scientifically proven to be the most trustworthy, Fox News, (2) we also use another trustworthy news source, Facebook, and (3) we RIGHFULLY distrust the LIE-belous LAME STREAM MEDIA.

Compare that to Pew’s findings about liberals and there is only one possible conclusion…

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…LIBERALS ARE DUMB.

(1) They foolishly trust a wide variety of non-conservative news outlets whose diversity of opinions only reinforces their misplaced faith in tolerance and thought, (2) they waste time using Facebook to choose friends rather than to disseminate unsubstantiated facts about Obama, and, (3) they leave themselves vulnerable by not distrusting the LIBERAL MEDIA.

In other words Conservatives are smarter and, therefore, right.

And lucky for you AMERICA, your thought leaders are more CONSERVATIVE than ever, as shown by the last chart I’ll ever waste my time looking at…

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Consistently Conservative beats consistently liberal 39-30. Wooooo! Suck on that libs!

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The conclusions I’ve reached are the only ones a SANE PERSON could come to.

BUT, not everyone in the liberal media is sane. Take for example, PURE LUNATIC CHARLIE COOK…

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“‘Politics has become more bitterly partisan and mean-spirited than I have seen in 30 years of writing a political newsletter,’ attests Charlie Cook.

What’s changed? Well, the two parties in Congress are more ideologically and geographically polarized than at any time in our recent history. But we’ve had deep divisions in our politics before. And yes, the Wingnuts seem to have an outsize influence on our politics debates. But we’ve had extremists in our politics before.

What’s different is the proliferation of partisan media via cable news and the Internet. Amid unprecedented access to information, our fellow citizens are self-segregating themselves into separate political realities.

That’s the conclusion of a compelling, if depressing, new study by the Pew Research Center on political polarization and media habits.”

Real nice guys… blame the media. Oh, sure, it’s all the media’s fault.

Well, guess what? As a member of the media, I TAKE OFFENSE to that.

Without my unbiased reporting how would good AMERICANS know the following FACTS?

– CONSERVATIVES ARE SMARTER THAN LIBERALS (see above)

OBAMA IS TRAINING AN ARMY OF RADIOACTIVE MONKEYS IN JAPAN

VLADIMIR PUTIN IS ALSO TRAINING AN ARMY OF RADIOACTIVE ANIMALS

MITT ROMNEY’S 2012 ELECTION LOSS CAN BE BLAMED ENTIRELY ON KALE

HILLARY CLINTON IS UN-F***ABLE

OBAMA IS A GANG MEMBER

OBAMA HATES BABIES

SHARKNADOS ARE A LIBERAL EXTREMIST PLOT

GOD HATES THE U. S. MILITARY BECAUSE IT ALLOWS GAYS TO JOIN

What these JOURNO-STREMISTS call a “partisan divide,” I call “reporting.” One of us is wrong and I KNOW it isn’t me.

That’s just a FACT.

That’s the difference between liberals and CONSERVATIVES: libs come to a debate armed with their opinions, CONSERVATIVES come armed with facts.

Nothing partisan about that.

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One comment

  1. Pingback: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, AMERICA? | TruthMissiles.com

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