America is the GREATEST, FREEST, most PROSPEROUS NATION that GOD ever put on this EARTH.
But AMERICANS are very stupid.
We elected a socialist president. We want to give more power to the federal government to do things like making laws, keeping us healthy, and educating children, which any IDIOT knows are better left to the private sector.
Most AMERICANS these days are just DUMB, SOCIALIST LIBTARDS.
Which is why, we should all be so grateful that we have smart, unbiased, thoughtful CONSERVATIVE commentary like NATIONAL REVIEW to inform us of how dumb we are being.
The astute columnists at National Review are intelligent. We should be embarrassed at how dumb we are for not thinking of the SMART IDEAS and OPINIONS that they think of.
With smart, informative ideas like “WOMEN WHO HAVE ABORTIONS SHOULD BE HANGED WITH THEIR DOCTORS“, “LENA DUNHAM REVEALING SHE WAS RAPED IS “A GUTLESS AND PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ACT”, THE GOVERNMENT IS COMING FOR YOUR CHILDREN, “LAVERNE COX IS NOT A WOMAN“, NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON IS A NERD AND NERDS ARE BAD, NINE YEAR OLD BLACK BOYS LOOK LIKE “PRIMATES”, HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVISTS ARE INDOCTRINATING FOURTH GRADERS, RUTH BADER GINSBURG WANTS TO KILL AS MANY POOR CHILDREN AS POSSIBLE, THE RANCHER WHO SAID BLACK PEOPLE WERE BETTER OFF AS SLAVES IS LIKE A CIVIL RIGHTS ACTIVIST, RICH AMERICANS “WORK MORE– A LOT MORE” THAN POOR AMERICANS, and PUBLIC EDUCATORS AND OBAMA ARE SOCIALISTS, they are paving the way for rational, civil discourse about the path AMERICA is on, and paving the way for a brighter future.
Yet still, we don’t listen.
Now, in one of the AMERICA’S most critical moments, as we deal with a spreading disease, a terror army, and a populace that’s becoming ever more reluctant to release carbon emissions, the NATIONAL REVIEWERS have provided us with perhaps their most prescient piece of advice yet.
It comes from one of the TRUEST PATRIOTS at NATIONAL REVIEW, KEVIN D. WILLIAMSON (who incidentally had about 90% of the ideas listed above).
It’s subtly entitled “THE EBOLA ADMINISTRATION”.
You might expect it to be about EBOLA, but you’d be wrong, because all CONSERVATIVES know that AMERICA is facing a bigger issue than making sure EBOLA only kills Africans.
That issue? MAKING SURE WE DON’T USE CLEAN ENERGY.
You see, AMERICA is now the world’s number one oil producer.
But now, OBAMA’S SOCIALIST GOVERNMENT is trying to take that away. Lockheed Martin, a GOVERNMENT CONTRACTOR, has just taken a major step toward creating fusion energy.
“Lockheed’s announcement about its ambitious fusion project, which if successful would represent a fundamental economic and technological shift for the entire world, is the sort of thing that makes one pause to consider the possibilities. The end product would be a relatively compact (small enough to haul on a semi) reactor that could with a few pounds of fuel and no emissions power aircraft and spacecraft that effectively never need refueling, transform and decentralize power grids, and do much more. “
It sounds like a horrifying future. But that’s not the worst part. Williamson is going to get there (HINT: Lockheed’s Fusion project = Obama + Ebola), right after he makes us all smarter by using a bunch of really long sentences filled with three-syllable words and semi-colons. I’m not sure what any of it means, but, boy, it makes me feel a lot smarter to agree with someone that has such a verbose writing style, if I didn’t know better, I might think they were trying to cover up the insanity of what he was actually saying…
“It is easy to get the upside wrong, and even easier to get the downside wrong; for an example, review Peter Schwartz and Peter Leyden’s originally celebrated, and subsequently mocked, 1997 Wired essay “The Long Boom,” which was in many ways correct about the general trends that would shape the early 21st century but wrong on most of the particulars. Its excessive optimism on the subjects of alternative energy and biotechnology is not impossible to defend, but what looks considerably worse in retrospect is its weak grasp of non-technological factors such as Islamic totalitarianism, Russia’s retreat into autocracy, and the persistent toxin of Chinese nationalism — and, as important, the interaction of those non-technological factors with new technology. Instant, frictionless communication makes the world smaller for MIT’s selection of online courses, and for jihadists, too. Cheap international travel means that it’s a small world after all — for Ebola.”
Get all that? Good. Me too.
But here’s the point…
“The terrifying thing that must be understood is that those Lockheed contracts — along with the nuclear arsenal and the rest of our national security — are in the hands of the same class of people and institutions responsible for our feckless response to Ebola’s arrival on our shores.”
In other words, THE GOVERNMENT CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!
Why are we trusting it to FIGHT DISEASE? Why are we trusting it to set TRAVEL POLICY? Why are we trusting it to CREATE NEW FORMS OF ENERGY?
Can’t we find someone else to handle these science problems BESIDES SCIENTISTS? ISN’T THERE A PRIVATE CDC?
CAN’T WE JUST HIRE NATIONAL REVIEW TO SOLVE ALL THESE PROBLEMS BY USING THIER SOLUTION TO EVERYTHING: DOING THE OPPOSITE OF OBAMA?
Let’s just leave it to the private sector.
For example, in the last decade, private sector research and development has given us great advances, like…
THE SHAKE WEIGHT!!!
THE PERFECT PULL-UP!!!
A KITCHEN KNIFE THAT CUTS A 2×4!!!
SOMETHING FOR PEOPLE WHO DO NOTHING FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!
…AND MORE PENIS PILLS!!!
And WTF has the government given us?
Benghazi, Ebola, and a fusion reactor that could revolutionize the way we power Earth.
Aka, three pieces of s***.
Hey, Sheeple, why don’t we do something smart for a change and listen to some of the smart, reasonable ideas from some of the smart people at National Review?