A guest submission by George W. Bush.

Things start out pretty normal. Just talking about freedom at a press conference, like a President often does, and…

…oops! Look out! Here comes a shoe.

In Egypt, that’s a sign of admiration. Kind of like a teenage girl throwing her underwear at a rock star. It means they think you’re doing a great job.

But, I can’t rest on my laurels. Gotta get to an important meeting with some very important African diplomats.

Things are starting out pretty normal. These guys seem like fun…

 

Uh, oh. I think something might be happening here… Yup, definitely starting to shake my groove thing…

 

Gettin’ jiggy with it. Texas style…

 

Ok, enough messing around. Time to get serious… about banging that sweet African drum set!

 

All right. now I can’t just sit around and dance all day. Gotta get back to business at the White House… business of dancing some more!

 

But, seriously, there’s a lot of important Presidential stuff I gotta do. Talk around the House is that there’s something big going on down in New Orleans I should probably deal with. So I’m going to get down there ASAP… and dance…

 

Ok, never mind. Looks like everything’s goin’ good down here… So it’s off to an important meeting with some Saudi princes. These guys definitely don’t dance… it’s really more of a swaying– ok, fine, it’s a dance. You know it’s going to be a dance…

 

But eventually, you get tired from all that dancing. And you have to work on doing more serious stuff. Like writing. And doing literacy…

…but it gets boring. So I spice things up…

 

But that won’t happen again. Because in Texas we have a saying… “fool me once, shame on–, fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice… you can’t get fooled again…”

Yeah, that’s it.

Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t wink and eat this pretzel at the same time…

 

So, that’s pretty much it. That’s what it’s like being President. It’s pretty…

Uh, pretty… what’s the word? Help me out Dick… Pretty… uh…

Good.

That’s it.

George W. Bush is a painter, comedian, rancher, and the 43rd President of the United States.